So I was chatting with my hydBRO Wizai and our convo reminded me of Naruto and Sasuke so I wrote this fic for Win using some of our messages as they were xD The name of the drabble came from my loved muse also *heart*

Sasuke's POV
High School au, Sasuke also has some younger cousins and aunt but that's minor detail really.
This is almost crack so don't read if you lack sense of humor.

At least I embarrassed myself for something

I don't even know why I'm this upset… But one thing's for sure; I'm just gonna masturbate the whole fricking night… Serves him right! Who does he think he is, leaving me of all people, alone with these damn brats? I'm so angry, so frustrated and generally so done I think I've deserved it, hours of willy-playing time. Yeah that's right I said it. To myself, in my own mind but even if there's no one listening to my thoughts, it's all right. Whatever to keep me from strangling one of these apes… They're ill and we all know how kids get when they have fever.

Oh where am I? I'm actually at my aunt's house. She's on a work trip, in a city two hours drive away from here. I promised I'd look after her two children today and send them to school tomorrow morning, or stay with them here if they're still ill then. I asked Naruto to come here and help me and you know what the bastard said? "I'm hanging out with Kiba tonight." So I told him to ditch him and he says he can't, since they bought the tickets to some lame concert a month ago.

…I know, I know. I'm a whiny bitch. I can't expect my boyfriend to ditch all his friends every time I'm bored and could use some mental support looking after my cousins.

"Sasu-nii. Can wuu read this?" my baby cousin says and holds a book to my belly. Seems to be about trains of some sort. I've read five books for them so far, or rather, started to read. They get distracted easily so I never finished any of them.

"Actually it's almost time for dinner. I'll go prepare it, so you should play with your brother in the meantime, okay?" Should be cool, he understands right? Oh please don't give me the puppy eyes, please!

"Mm.. Okie!" Ah there he goes, didn't seem to mind. Great. Now what shall I make for them?

–

I'm gonna cry. To think my irresponsible aunt actually saved some leftovers in their fridge is just, beautiful. I need to thank her later for this.

Pzzz

My phone vibrates in my back pocket. I put the food into the microwave and read the message.

N: Watcha doing sexy?

Should I feel irritated that he tries to make sure I don't hate him by texting me or happy because he remembers I exist even when he's out with friends? Right, I'm happy but I'll act irritated. Good thinking.

S: Whaddya think? -.-

Well now that I hit send I feel I could've done a lot better than that… Shit. Oh, he answered already.

N: So you're being the daddy of the house?

I don't think there's a way I can ever read the word 'daddy' without getting dirty thoughts. So yeah, that was a disturbing image right there, but okay I'll go with it. Right after I get the kids to eat.

–

Okay, so now I think I have time for whatsapping.

S: I'm the daddy and the awesome older cousin at the same time, I've been poking them on their foreheads and calling them Otoutos.

N: …Okay Itachi, it's time to calm down!

S: Don't ever call me Itachi again, but I must admit it felt surprisingly cool. I've always wondered why he does that. Doesn't change the fact that everyone must bow before me for I'm just that plain awesome (like I just microwaved us dinner wow).

N: Hoho could you microwave me dinner sometimes? If you know what I mean *wiggles eyebrows*

S: OMG WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

S: WHY DID I GET THE WIGGLY EYE BROWS?

S: I need an explanation because I'm so innocent apparently.

N: I mean a date XD is it because my jokes are so lame that I need to explain them? Hahahaha.

S: …. …. …A date? You're so awkward at flirting it's actually kinda adorable.

S: Also, there's no way anyone could have understood that.

N: Actually I'm an awkward person, it's not just at flirting XD.

S: Usuratonkachi, I date you, I'd know.

N: You'd know, baka. SOO how 'bout it?

S: Going on a microwave date with you?

N: Honey I know how you've just been dying for my microwaved special! So say, you'll magically appear at my place tomorrow at 7?

S: Say I'd even be coming magically ;)

N: …Shit this concert's so lame I could be there with you rn…

S: Ha. Enjoy the show, loser.

Ahaha, that's what you get for choosing Kiba over me! As I said from the start, I'm so gonna just let loose and enjoy myself tonight. That stupid blondie will be thinking twice before-

…I'm being a bitch again. Well I'll just get these kids to bed soon and watch the latest Hobbit I guess. Though to Naruto I'm telling he'd have gotten lucky tonight.

Review pretty please :) Haaa I had fun writing this xD