The End of the Tunnel

White walls, white linoleum floors, white bedding, a white curtain fluttering in the breeze that's swept in through the open window. Yuki leans back against the white pillow and takes a look around his hospital room which is clean and bright. He prefers it this way. He silently thanks the nurse who thought to keep the window open. He can't remember the last time he's truly tasted fresh air.

There's a hesitant knock and then the door to his room slides open. Yuki turns his head to watch as a Hatsuharu steps into the room. His twelve-year-old cousin doesn't look so out of place in his usual black and white attire that matches perfectly with his hair, but he is clearly uncomfortable.

"Hey," Yuki greets quietly as his visitor takes another step forward.

"Hi," he replies, his eyes glued to the floor. When he looks up, his cheeks are tinged with pink. "Rin said that when people go to visit people in the hospital they usually bring flowers…" Without further ado, he brings his hand out from behind his back and thrusts a bouquet at him.

Surprised, Yuki takes it, slightly overwhelmed by the array of colors. He sets them down on his little bedside table, taking care to notice that they clash a little violently with the whtie of his walls, but he really doesn't mind. Even blood red flowers would be better than that dark room…

Haru's come to sit stiffly in the visitor's chair. He's trying to direct his eyes somewhere else, but his gaze comes to rest on Yuki's collarbone which is exposed due to the slightly low-cut hospital gown.

Yuki brings his own hand up to gently trace the shiny red burn. "It's okay," he assures his cousin quietly. His heart drops as he sees tears well up in the eyes of the boy who's basically been his lifeline up until now.

"It's not okay," Haru responds in a wavering voice. The tears spill over. "You've been fighting for so long, when did it become okay to just give up and do the deed yourself?"

Yuki fingers the bandages that the nurses have wrapped around his arms even though those burns have long since healed. "I wasn't trying to kill myself," he protests calmly, not looking at the younger boy.

Haru's head shoots up, his eyes challenging the Rat's. "No? Then why were you deliberately harming yourself?"

Deliberate harm… Yuki's sure his cousin's picked up this phrasing from listening to Hatori or maybe even his doctors. His hand drifts up to his most recent burn once more, thinking of how purposely he chose its placing. Just as he'd expected, Hatori, having arrived for his regular checkup, noticed it immediately.

Hatsuharu's words were harsh, but Yuki doesn't budge. "People who smoke or drink or get high are deliberately harming themselves. It doesn't mean they want to die."

He looks at Haru and thinks back to Kagura, who had also come to keep him company in the main house when Akito wasn't around. He remembers how she took a clip from her own hair and pressed it into his palm. To give you some connection to the outside, she'd said. It was only too easy there after to find the lighter…

"You don't understand what it's like trapped in that house, watching the rest of you come and go as you please… It's so dark… It's like I'm running through this tunnel and keep expecting to see the light at the end only to run smack dab into the last wall and realize that there is no light. The tunnel's caved in." Yuki realizes that both his voice and his hands are shaking. He grips his fists tighter. "I wasn't trying to kill myself… But I did just want it all to end."

After a moment of silence Haru stands. Sometimes you had no other choice but to kick that wall down. Surprising his cousin, he walks over and wraps his arms around his neck. Then he turns in the opposite direction and heads out of the hospital. There's someone he needs to see.

Review please! And as I'm sure you all know, after this he goes to talk to Shigure.

This wasn't a scene that I felt was missing, I sort of just needed to vent. I suggest anyone who reads this goes and tells their friends how much they mean to them, because while Yuki's was a cry for help, a very good friend of mine just tried to kill herself for real. ):

I don't own Fruits Basket! (Wow, it's been a long time since I've written anything for Fruits Basket…)