Allo all! I decided to take a hiatus from The Deceived One for a short while so I can get to work on this! Now for the moment you all been waiting for… Portal and/or Minecraft lovers prepare to read…

WHEATLEY IN MINECRAFT

Chapter 1

WITCHCRAFT

"… Uuuugghhhhh…arugh…wha…what…?" slowly his eyes opened and instantly he noticed he was on solid ground instead in the black hole of space with that idiotic core. He blinked as he gazed at his surrounds curiously.

"… Where… the bloody Hell am I…?" he asked to himself quickly. Mooing answered his question him and he gazed behind him to see a small herd of cows.

"Huh…?" He studied the cow closely as it walked away, "… I'm sorry, sir but you don't have a butt… butt-er… hole… And I just noticed that I am talking to a cow about his lack of ass… brilliant."

He looked downward to see his hand in the water which he had not noticed before. Wait a second… hand?

Confusedly he looked at his hands and feet and saw that he had interesting clothes on, which were someone relative to Indiana Jones' attire except white.

"If Adventure Core were human he'd rip this right off me… wait a moment…" He stared into the water which didn't reflect his face back to him.

"What is this black magic? This isn't scientific whatsoever! Was there some gas in space that I didn't know about? Am I hallucinating…" Wheatley then realized how odd the word sounded and began to repeat the word a few more times, "Hallucinating…. Haluuuuucinatiinngg… ok, now it doesn't sound like a word at all…"

Suddenly something shoved him from behind which dropped him into the water. He jerked his eyes up to see, probably the same cow from before, was behind him, "Ok, listen, I'm sorry that I said that you didn't have an ass! But you didn't have to push ME into the water! I could rust now—! Wait, I'm human…"

While the moronic human core rambled on, the cow trotted over to another cow and headbutt it.

"… Oh… Is that your wife?"

The cow looked at him with dull eyes.

"Ooohh! She was the one that I said she didn't have an ass? Oh! Ok!" he realized what he just said and slapped himself. After that he got out of the water and stumbled over to the shade of a large tree nearby, "I'm talking to a bloody cow, I am now freakin, bloody insane now… I believe that it was something to do with the pull of the gravitational field of the Earth and the heat had gone through me brain, frying it and making me a cow whisperer!" He sighed, "… if this theory is right… I am in deep Hell water right now and have no way in making it back to Aperture… HA! Why would I want to get back anyway, huh?" he questioned himself, grinning, "I don't need anyone but myself! I am free! There's no GLaDOS nor that lady-!" His smile faded, "That mute woman…" he sighed again, putting his head in his hands, "my heart still aches because I did that… and being with Space core was more than enough to punish me… but I can't think about that now… now… I need to survive… but how the bloody Hell do I do crap here?"

He looked at the cow a few inches away from his face, "… You have no idea what personal space is, do ya?"

It mooed in reply.

The human core sighed and looked up at the tree, beginning to think for once.

"Alright! I got it! I can make a treehouse or whatever they call it out of theses leaves of the HUUUGE tree! Yeah… yeah, yeah! That's the ticket… I'll just climb up there then!"

With that being said he marched up to the tree and tried desperately to climb up it which at the end failed each time.

"Dammit!" He shouted in frustration. He breathed and calmed himself, "Alright… I guess I need a ladder… but how does one make a ladder?"

He took a brief glimpse around to see a forest on the other side of the vast water. One way to get across to there was to follow the small coast leading up to it.

"Wait… don't I need an axe? How the bloody Hell am I supposed to get an AXE?"

"Moooooooooooooooooooo…"

He whirled around to face the cow then blinked as he saw the saw of it head butting a tree, "WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU GIT?" Then he slowly realized in his puzzled mind what it was doing, "Oh? Do you have a solution?"

The black and white cow looked at him and mooed once more.

"… I… need to chop it down with my bare hands?"

It nodded a few times.

He blinked, "can you understand me?"

No responds.

"Good. I'm not dead." He walked over to the tree and yanked the leaves out of his way. Once he got to the trunk of the tree he stared at it for a moment, contemplating, "…. So I have to punch this with my bare hands…? Alright then…"

And so he did, surprisingly. And even more surprisingly he didn't hurt his fists as much as he thought it would. Suddenly the wood he was chopping broke, turning into a tinier size, and jumped into his hand. He blinked, confused then got over it with a shrug. When he was done punching down the four block tree he wiped his forehead.

Looking around he saw that the leaves were disappearing into thin air. Jumping back he gasped and proclaimed, "…WITCHCRAFT? IS THIS WHOLE PLACE MADE WITH WITCHCRAFT!"

He took in another breathe, "WHY? WHY AM I HERE? WHAT IS THIS PLACE! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"MOOOO!"

He jumped and whirled around to face the same cow who now looked annoyed.

"…. WHAT?"

It mooed again.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND COW LANGUAGE, OK?"

Suddenly the cow headbutted the exasperated Wheatley into the water out of frustration!

"GEWD!" he yelped out as he felled into the two block water. Wheatley looked up at it and glared angrily.

Whipping its tail, the furious cow mooed again and took a block of wood he had dropped when he was shoved.

The human core watched in awe of what the cow was doing. When it was done he dropped down four wooden planks which then he put them as a cube and instantly, like magic, turned into a Crafting Bench.

The cow looked at the idiotic core smugly. Wheatley recklessly stood up and stumbled over to the bench, staring at it in awe.

He looked at the cow again, "Ok, how the Hell did you do that?"

It mooed in reply.

He sighed, "… Well… I guess you're not as stupid as I thought you were…. Um, so… if you know what to do in this world… could you… I don't know… teach me?"

The cow gave him a look which probably meant, 'Yes, you idiot.'