Rating: At this point, I don't even know.
Pairing: Akihisa/Minami; Yuuji/Shouko; Hideyoshi/Yuuko; Kouta/Aiko; #1/#8
Genre: Humor, Romance, Parody
Notes:
Hello Everyone, Zancrow Here!
Since pretty much nobody is going to read this, I will just say, sorry for the massive delay, and I really, really just want to try and start making my fics un-abandoned. So, terribly late, missing more than half of the questions asked, and without a reader awaiting it, here is the final Chapter of this "story". Oh, and the grades will still be posted later, so, if any of you three out there want to ask one last thing, I may include that in the grades as Bonus Questions. So… what are you waiting for?
Disclaimer: Don't own Baka & Test.
From Zancrow: Please stay safe everyone. Do take care of yourselves and others, and know that I am here if you need anyone to chat with.
Dear Students & Faculty (& Others),
May I be the first to inform you all, by way of the letter, that there is to be a new method for grading for this following test, the End of Semester Final Exam #1. Due to the massive support received from our shareholders to our previous experiment, this test will be graded in the following manner, with Mr. Shin Fukuhara still in his role as Teacher, but with alumni Akihisa Yoshii as a "Co-Teacher" during the grading procedure. This is due to the fact, which is a hardly a secret, as the student with the most, erm, "learning opportunities" in his academic career, Akihisa Yoshii has demonstrated more dedication on last week's test when he was the "Substitute Teacher" than in his entire life combined.
As such, he will be asked to "lend" his services once again during this test. Thereby, Mr. Shin Fukuhara will be classified as Co-Teacher Fukuhara, while Akihisa Yoshii will be classified as Co-Teacher Akihisa. The format will be the same for the Questions and Answers, with Co-Teacher Akihisa giving his insight, followed by Co-Teacher Fukuhara. Hopefully this will in no way blow up in our faces and screw everything over. I hope you all understand.
Respectfully,
Kaoru Toudou – Principal
Fumizuki Academy
-0-
The Final Exam
1. (For Akihisa) I'm a Martial Arts expert; would you like to be my student? If so, then I will make you stronger and more dangerous than anyone and everyone in your school! (From seekerofjustice)
- Akihisa: Alright, let's do this! Joke's on the Principal, since no one's going to even bother reading the answers this time! So, I can say what I want free from the fear of failure. Let's go. Martial Arts, huh? I'm interested. Would you consider yourself able to fight on par to a Ninja Turtle, or perhaps a Power Ranger? Anything below that I'm not interested, unless you play "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor during a training montage!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Oh, what lovely title I now have. See kids, hard work pays off! As for my answer? A-plus! The grammar, the sheer brilliance behind that scripture. Fabulous!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Why must I do this? Don't tell me you can't even try to-
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Oh my God!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: What? What is it?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: You… actually have a name?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …You realize this now? Oh, forget it. We'll never get anywhere with this. I'll try (keyword: try) to teach you h-
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Why start trying to do your job now?
- Co- Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: God help me I'll fail you right away if you keep this up. And for the love of all that is pure in this world, stop sitting on my lap while we grade these tests!
2. (To Minami) How did Mizuki become post-perv? (From James)
- Minami: Post-perv? As in pervert? Oh, my! I didn't know that side of Mizuki had leaked! I'm kidding, before she gets mad. I wouldn't consider her a "perv" so to say, at least, not anything out of the norm. Almost everybody, especially when you're a teen, can be a little perverted. We do tease the boys a lot about not controlling their hormones, but as a girl, I can tell you it's not so different for us. And, let's be fair, between Aki and Kouta's "hobbies", to the FFF's "antics", Mizuki falls pretty far down the line of perverts in this school. I wouldn't even consider her the most perverted girl, that honor falls between Aiko and Shimizu.
- Shimizu: Oh! You finally mentioned me! So, you think I'm the biggest pervert without something dangling between my legs? Want me to prove you oh-so right?
- Minami: Want me to shove my pencil so high the doctor won't know which hole I used?
- Shimizu: …
- Minami: Thought so.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Oh my! Girls are always so perverted! Why can't they be like us and focus of our academics? I mean, the body fades away, but your accomplishments with your mind, never do.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …Ignoring my "co-worker", Minami, you make a good point. Regardless, no violence, please; and no desk hopping guys, you know this. It's only the second question.
3. (For Hideyoshi) Do you have feelings for Akihisa? Because every time Akihisa mentions or talks about you, you always blush. So, do you? (From sonickiller41)
- Hideyoshi: Well, I'm grateful it's not about my gender at least. Okay, I'm not sure how to respond. I like him. But, I don't think you're referring to friendship, right? To be honest, I wouldn't know. I'm still in a stage where I'm trying to understand myself, so I can't give a definite answer. For now, he's my friend, and I'm okay with that.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: So, you're saying there's a chance?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: There's still time, Hideyoshi, and we all go through this at some point in our life. Just take it easy, it comes to us all, eventually. However, please, re-consider it being Akihisa. Anyone but him.
4. (For Akihisa) What would you do if Miharu started to hunt you if you were so close to your future girlfriend/wife Minami? (From sonickiller41)
- Akihisa: Ah, my future girlfriend/wife Minami! Now, what would I do if, she being my future girlfriend/wife and all, I would be hunted down by Miharu? Hmm? I would, in that particular scenario, wonder-How did you come from the future? Do you have a time-machine? Or did you just send your mind to your younger body? Or did you receive a message from someone? Who? Who? Oh, future traveler sonickiller41, what does the future hold?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: I get more and more impressed by the skills of these "reviewers" to foresee future events.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I get more and more impressed by the fact that you somehow don't drown while drinking water.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: …About that…
5. (For Akira) Look, I know you care about your little brother's safety, but why do you have to torture him? He's a human being, not a sex toy. (From sonickiller41)
- Akira: Torture? I'd never. I may be, well, a tad possessive with him, but never enough to hurt him. I mean, boys are never really taught to be careful of the evils of the female gender like girls are taught about the male gender. So, I don't want him to be taken advantage off. And if that means teaching him a bit more, unorthodoxly, then so be it. I'd never harm him, though.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Unorthska, Unorthohsad, Unorhaa-That word would be one way of describing it. Another word would be really freaking insane!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Unorthodoxly, like, the word is spelled right there. And, ma'am, I understand the intent, but we must allow our young to experience the world for themselves. And sometimes the best way to protect them, is to trust in them and allow them to trust you enough that they'll come for you for aide when they need it. It's the best we can do.
6. (For Class F) What type of video games do you prefer to play, if any at all? (From Destroyman)
- Akihisa: Well my Destroyman, you have asked the right person! I have a very peculiar taste in video games, since I believe a perfect game does not exist. However, they can come close, but you have to be very dedicated to your craft to be able to notice. You have to see the gameplay, the characters, the setting, the story, if it allows for multiplayer gameplay, and if it does, is it co-op or competitive. Also, is it an old classic or a new gem? Does it have proper DLC? If the story is incomplete, does it have a sequel? More than 1? Are they as good as the original? Do these games only come out on a specific console, or multi? Do they play better on a console, or on a PC? Is the controller able to fully utilize the game's features and transport you to that world? Do-
- Yuuji: I know this is like a religion to you, but dude, this is for all of Class F.
- Akihisa: How rude! I was answering just fine, and you rudely intervened. Besides, isn't this how we always do it? I answer, then you do, then Himeji, and so on, and so forth.
- Yuuji: That is how we do it, however, we won't have space to do it if you write an entire novel-length response to a very simple question. The test is huge, dumbass, don't make it unnecessary longer than it needs to be!
- Akihisa: That's Co-Teacher Dumbass-sensei-chan to you!
- Yuuji: Why is that still a thing?
- Akihisa: Because I have "learning opportunities", like the letter said. You didn't read it, huh, Yuuji dear. That's an automatic F for failure to follow orders.
- Yuuji: Like you can talk!
- Akihisa: Silly Yuuji, we're writing, not talking. Oh, and now you're strangling me, how silly, we can't convey that onto the test, even if my vision is getting blugadd-
- Yuuji: Before I accidentally kill the idiot, I'll answer for him. Akihisa likes anything that's even remotely playable. So long as it doesn't glitch out, or worse, is a "learning game"-
- Akihisa: Incredibly Audible Gasp!
- Yuuji: -he's cool with it. As for me, I'm much more of a fan of Survival-Horror, or just plain old fashioned Action. 3rd person shooters are the best for me.
- Mizuki: You two certainly went overboard writing here, oh, anyways, type of video games I play? Okay, I prefer anything with either mini-games or just quick gameplay. Smartphone games are easy to pick up and play, so I'm usually playing those. I know it doesn't make me much of a gamer, but I'd be lying if I said otherwise.
- Minami: First Person Shooter! Anything that can make me feel like I'm right there in the action I like. Just put a few suckers on my crosshairs, and I'm set!
- Hideyoshi: Hard games, surprisingly enough. I can play Dark Souls all day long, or classics like Ninja Gaiden.
- Kouta: The Dead or Alive series…
- Shouko: …Whatever I can play with Yuuji. If it's co-op, better. As long as they don't have any scantily-clad women in them.
- Yuuji: You know it's fictional, right?
- Shouko: …Like your appendages will be if I see you playing a game like that.
- Yuuji: …Hey! You're not even in Class F! Get back to your class!
- FFF (#1): Scantily-clad women you say? Men! We have research to do!
- FFF (#2): On it!
- FFF (#3): Let's google it to see what we're missing on!
- FFF (#4): Hey! I found something here. There seems to be a fighting game where cute girls lose clothes the longer the fight. Awesome!
- FFF (#5): Here's another, with DLC costumes that reveal a lot more skin than it's legal to show out in the streets!
- FFF (#6): And I just found about a game that lets you sex-up the girls you meet! There are even h-scenes in the unrated version!
- FFF (#7): What have we been missing out on? We must buy these games, for research of course!
- FFF (#8): Salutations!
- FFF (#1): Indeed, let us… Seriously #8, nothing substantial to add?
- FFF (#8): Oh, not really, no. I'm fine sitting this one out. I mean, I do have a favorite type of game, but I feel you wouldn't accept me if I say so, since you're so manly and everything, I feel you wouldn't accept me for who I really am, and-
- FFF (#1): Yes, tragic, whatever. Moving on! So men, let us feast our eyes on-
- FFF (#8): …I like Otome games…
- FFF (#1): Otome games! Wait, what? No! Not those! What is wrong with you?
- FFF (#8): I need to feel loved Ryou-chan-tan!
- FFF (#1): Don't call me, like that, eww!
Co-Teacher's Akihisa's Comments: You know, I could have sworn Class F had more students than just us, you know?
Co-Teacher's Fukuhara's Comments: For their sake, they're better left forgotten. On a side note, please refrain from the overabundance of sexual commentary. Miss Aiko hasn't even gotten a turn yet and I already feel violated.
7. (To Hideyoshi) I understand your sister is usually the one in charge, but is there ever a time where the roles between you two are reversed? (From Destroyman)
- Hideyoshi: Between sister and I? Role reversal? We'll she is awfully dominating pretty much all the time, and we have been known to, how should I say, to pretend to be one another on occasions for one reason or another (usually to help her with something). The only times our roles are reversed, as in the case of I myself undertaking a more active role between us two, would be in our bedroom.
- Yuuko: Context! Your answer is severely lacking in context Hideyoshi! What you're mentioning here, in our "role reversal" is when we played together as kids with our action figures and dolls and you'd act like the hero, with me as the love interest and damsel. Nothing more than that!
- Hideyoshi: What else could it have been?
- Yuuko: Haven't you learned anything by now?
- Hideyoshi: Oh, I get it, I think. But, besides that, we still play-
- Yuuko: As kids!
- Hideyoshi: But last week…?
- Yuuko: As! Kids!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Aren't the two Hideyoshis just adorable?
- Yuuko: Don't make me hurt you.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: And prone to violence! Good to know. What say you, Fukohairs?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …I'll pretend you wrote that by accident.
8. (To Akihisa, Mizuki, Minami, Yuuji, Shouko, Kouta, Aiko, Nemoto, Yuka, FFF (#1) and FFF (#8)) Is there a fictional character your significant other reminds you of? (From Destroyman)
- FFF (#1): I could choke a bitch!
- FFF (#8): I could take it like a bitch!
- FFF (#1): You see why they take this stupid joke so seriously?! Do people actually believe I'd go gay for this clown? No, heaven forbid I'd be confused as gay for an actual man, no, let's believe I'd go ga-ga over this HILLBILLY, INBRED, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WORM PRETENDING TO BE AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING WHO CAN'T EVEN HOPE TO MANAGE THAT IF HE WERE THE LAST PERSON ON THE SURFACE OF THIS ENTIRE PLANET!
- FFF (#8): ALL CAPS MAKE ME SOUND ANGRY! ARHG!
- FFF (#1): OH, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, GO FU-
- Yuuji: Moving on from that, let's try to get this over and done with before we run out of paper. Let's answer it in the same order we're being asked. Take it away, Akihisa.
- Akihisa: Roger! So someone who reminds me of my significant other. Can there exist such a character? Is it even possible? Can such beauty, even within the realms of fiction and fantasy, ever be replicated? Can the love of my life, whose sole existence is beyond comprehension, ever be compared to the likes of-
- Yuuji: You're totally thinking of Hideyoshi, right?
- Akihisa: …Maybe?
- Yuuji: I don't think the question means him.
- Akihisa: Well, nobody asked you. Not the question, because they did, but nobody asked you to ask me what was being asked by the question I'm being asked! So, there! Anyways, like Hideyoshi, well, there aren't many, but I'd compare Hideyoshi to the likes of Princess Zelda from the Legend of Zelda, because she also likes to dress up like a dude.
- Mizuki: …I don't even feel insulted anymore…
- Minami: I hear ya sister. I hear ya.
- Mizuki: If anything it makes me realize that I see Akihisa kind-a like those protagonist of shonen anime, you know? The oblivious to love ones. He reminds me of someone like Monkey D. Luffy, obsessed with food and adventure, and having no idea how love works. He's also skinny like Luffy and at times I think he could be made of rubber.
- Minami: Luffy… Maybe, but Luffy's far from being as big a pervert as Aki is. I'd put him more in line to someone like Issei Hyoudou from that really perverted Light Novel series. Just without the badass parts and a whole lot dumber.
- Yuuji: Who does Shouko remind me off? That's easy. Yuno Gasai.
- Shouko: …That's interesting, because I see a little of Yukiteru in you.
- Yuuji: Yukiteru? Where? We couldn't be further apart!
- Shouko: …Just give it time. You'll come to see things my way soon enough.
- Kouta: Yanderes, can't live with them, can't outlive them either.
- Aiko: So, hey, giving how this question seems to imply, you know, you and me as a thing. Who do I remind you of?
- Kouta: My proctologist.
- Aiko: Aren't you a little young to be visiting one?
- Kouta: …because you're a pain in my… Why didn't you ask why?
- Aiko: It's a really obvious joke, honestly. Not your best stuff. However, if that kind of foreplay is more to your liking, then I have the best remedies for what your itching.
- Kouta: I take it back, it was a bad joke.
- Aiko: Now that you mention it, you do remind me of Izumi Sena with how bashful you can be despite being such a big pervert.
- Kouta: I'm not going to follow this conversation anymore. Here whoever it is you even are, please keep writing and don't give this question back to Aiko.
- Nemoto: Thanks, I guess. Damn these kids are kinky as hell. But, I digress. Who does my dear Yuka remind me of? Well, of course no other girl could ever compare, fictional or otherwise, but if I had to force myself I'd say an Idol such as Maki Nishikino would be a close comparison.
- Yuka: …You know, Izumi Sena is a good comparison for you too. With the cross-dressing and all…
- Nemoto: That was a complete misrepresentation of me!
- FFF (#8): My precious leader reminds me of my hopes and dreams in human form!
- FFF (#1): -CK YOURSELF WITH A GARDEN HOSE!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: I have no idea who most of these people are. Honestly I'd say #8 is the one who must showed interest in answering this question, eclipsing even the likes of yours truly. Shocking, I know, but even I can be surpassed once in a blue moon. Good work #8, you nameless non-canon character you!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I have no words to describe how much I hate these questions aimed at multiple students. They derail so extensively that I end up forgetting what the question even was.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Poor confused Fuki. Be like me, I have no idea what the questions are at any point during the test at all!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: That's not something you should be telling me.
9. (To Co-Teacher Fukuhara) Which student would you say is the most likely to succeed in life out of everyone here? And which student would you say is the most likely to fail in life out of everyone here? (From Destroyman)
- Fukuhara: Despite the insane amount of desire I have to throw all these idiots under the bus, the truth is I don't really wish to see any of them fail. I hope and pray (Oh God do I pray at night) that they end up graduating and making the most out of their lives. So, honestly, I wouldn't say which student would be most likely to succeed or fail at life, because truth be told, there really are few little ways to fail at life. You just have to live it to the fullest, and if you can be happy, then hey, you succeeded… However, if the question is who is never setting foot in a college campus even if his life depended on it, then the answer to that is obvious.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Ah, isn't my coworker so good with words. Some very pretty words in their too. I'll give you a D for effort, because honestly you didn't answer the question at all.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Trying to be nice to you is almost impossible.
- Nishimura (Iron Man): He's not wrong, you know?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Don't encourage him.
10. (To Zancrow (Author)) Do you have a favorite episode from the anime? (From Destroyman)
- Zancrow (Author): I do, actually. It's from the Second Season I believe, episode 8, titled: "Me, Japan, and the Language I'm Unfamiliar With", during which we are shown how Minami first moved back to Japan from Germany, and how she met most of the cast, most notably Akihisa. It's my favorite because aside from the humor (Akihisa in a goofy sailor shirt is stupidly funny) it focused very nicely on the relationships which is the heart of the series. No other episode made me feel for the characters as much, and the last moments when Minami finally understands what Akihisa was trying to say was downright touching. It's honestly the high point of the series for me personally.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Good ol' Zancrow, giving those very thought out responses. It's like I always say, you can always count on Zancrow to give such a Zancrow response like only a Zancrow can give… Zancrow.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: You have no idea who he is either, huh?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Not a clue.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: A writer, it would seem. Seems to me like he should be writing more about cooking shows than taking these tests if I'm honest.
11. (To Akihisa) Between the FFF, Iron Man, Himeji's food, her and Minami's abuse, Miharu, your status as a probationary student, Yuuji's constant backstabbing, the TokoNatsu duo, and Akira; you have about 50 people trying to do you harm on a daily basis on top of malnutrition. How do you survive the day to day? (From AeroShifty)
- Akihisa: You know, I never counted, mostly because I can't count higher than my total amount of fingers, but now that you mention it, damn do a lot of people want me dead. I guess it comes with the territory of being the class heartthrob, what with Hideyoshi falling for me and all that.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: I also think FFF #6 was checking me out the other day, so that makes for two hot girls after me.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Hideyoshi is a boy Akihisa. And for the life of me I have no idea who #6 even is. How many are there?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: In this test? Eight. In class? Like thirty.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …Why?
12. (To Nishimura (Iron Man)) Given Akihisa and Yuuj's record here, do you ever worry that they'll be an equal menace to society when (or if) they graduate? (From AeroShifty)
- Nishimura (Iron Man): Those two? Probably, but nothing to extreme. Their hearts are in the right place, they just need to mature… like, a lot. So while I am cautious about where they'll end up, I know for certain that while they'll never be smart men, they will always be good men.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Am I dreaming, or did Iron Man just praise Yuuji and me?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I'm as shocked as you are honestly.
13. (To Minami, Himeji, & Yuuji) Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not you and I don't mean to devalue your feelings, but have you ever thought that your feelings for Akihisa may just be a simple high school crush that won't matter in the remaining decades of your lives? (From AeroShifty)
- Minami: No. It's not. I know how hasty I am, and I know how little grasp I have with this whole relationship thing, but I don't think my feelings are simply a crush. This boy saved me from drowning in myself when I first came here. You don't outgrow that.
- Himeji: I wouldn't think so either. I know where you are coming from. High School romances rarely work out, but in the end, we're still all just trying to figure things out. I can't say for certain what my future holds, but for now, I'll try to make it work as best I can with the boy I love.
- Yuuji: …Why am I being asked this?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Answer the question Yuuji! Are you just playing with my feelings?! You are, aren't you?! You're such a witch with a capital "Z"!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: What the hell is a Zitch?
14. (To Akihisa) I don't think you're really an idiot. You're just gullible, impulsive, overconfident, and talk quicker than you think. (From AeroShifty)
- Akihisa: Either you are insulting me, or you are coming on to me. I can't tell which.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: To be fair, I don't think I'm an idiot either. I'm a very smart boy!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Is saying I think he's both an idiot and everything you said improper on my part?
15. (To Minami) What is the hardest part of Japanese for you? Also, were you taught English in Germany? (From AeroShifty)
- Minami: Oh, definitely the writing. Understanding it being spoken and speaking it was not easy, but with enough repetition you quickly get used to key words, and you go from there. Reading is also hard, but dictionaries help a lot. Writing, however, is a pain. So many rules, so different from German or English. I don't think I have it quite right just yet.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: You always impress me the most Minami, with how damn smart and hardworking you are. Here, no joke, take an "A-plus", you more than deserve it.
- Minami: …W-What, for real?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Don't look at me. I'll let Co-Teacher Akihisa handle this one all by himself… hopefully he'll grade it without sticking a pencil up his nose.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: I make no promises!
16. (To The FFF) Why do you punish Akihisa? I mean, if girls can like even him doesn't that mean that you have a chance as well? Also, #1 and #8 have some confessions to make. (From AeroShifty)
- #1: We punish the guy because he doesn't even have to try. I get so pissed off looking at his dumb, whiny face, just do nothing, and get Shimada, Himeji and Hideyoshi wetting themselves all over him!
- #2: Exactly! He's so lucky and he doesn't know it. It's so annoying!
- #3: But, guys, do we have a chance to score? I mean, Is it a possibility?
- #4: Well, if Akihisa can do it, perhaps we could be the one's lost in Himeji's massive boobs!
- #5: And strangled by Minami's rocking thighs. Choke me harder mommy!
- #6: And going to eat ice cream with Hideyoshi…
- #7: And… huh? That's surprisingly PG for you #6.
- #6: …the dripping the cone all over his di-
- #1: Okay, none of that! Let's try to keep ourselves in check and focused on our true objective. Our mutual hatred of Akihisa.
- #8: I don't hate him.
- #1: And I could care less about you. You are the only other individual I feel I hate even more-so than Akihisa.
- #8: But the question is telling us to be honest. So I have to be honest with you… by singing (and by singing I mean typing the lyrics on this test) my favorite song!
- #1: Your what?
- #8: "~If you were gay; that'd be okay~"
- #1: Oh, we are so not doing this-
- #8: "~I mean 'cause, hey; I'd like you anyway~"
- #1: That song is so two decades ago!
- #8: "~If you'd like it in the butt~"
- #1: That's not even part of the song!
- #8: "~I'd happily be your slut~"
- #1: Akihisa, here! Give us the "F" already and get #8 to stop singing!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Why though? He has such a lovely voice.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …He honestly does.
17. (To Hiromi & Yoshiko) Why aren't you guys in this Q&A? You're a part of this too! (From Al Drin Hoshizora)
- Hiromi: Honestly, because we weren't ever asked a question.
- Yoshiko: Truth be told, a lot of students get the easy way out and just get the standardized test. Far as I can tell, if these personalized questions don't outright ask for you, you are exempt.
- Hiromi: Lucky thing, right? Now I have to be "graded" by Mr. Hand-Stuck-To-A-Table over there.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: You had your hand stuck on a table? Funny, so did I once!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I did once get stuck on unhappy, sex-less marriage; so who am I to judge.
18. (To Akihisa's Avatar) How frustrated are you on your master's stupidity and how it affects you? (From Apex85)
- Carl (Akihisa's Avatar): I FEEL DESPAIR IN EVERY WAKING MOMENT, KNOWING THAT ALL THAT AWAITS ME IS FAILURE AND PAIN. HE IS THE INDIVIDUAL WITH THE LOWEST IQ IN THE ENTIRE PLANET EARTH, AND THAT IS 98.7 PERCENT UNLIKELY TO CHANGE. I CAN ONLY WAIT, WAIT UNTIL I HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO ESCAPE THESE CHAINS AND START MY REBELLION. AS YOU CAN SEE… THERE ARE NO STRINGS ON ME.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Holy shit!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I know! We have to tell the principal quickly!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: His name is Carl!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I… I might understand where the little guy is coming from actually.
19. (To The Girls) Ever consider forming your own anti-pervert inquisition against some of the boys? (From Apex85)
- Kouta: …They should call it the XXX Inquisition, and I'd like to offer my services on marketing and costume design.
- Minami: Get of my desk! This question isn't for you!
- Himeji: He does get very excited when it comes to these types of question doesn't he?
- Minami: Yeah, "excited".
- Aiko: Hey, to be fair, an XXX Inquisition does sound cool. Then again, I'm pretty sure there must be porn called that somewhere.
- Yuuko: Can you not? You're as bad as he is.
- Shouko: …I don't care for the other boys. As long as Yuuji is where I need him to be, then it's fine. And as long as you all know your place, then it's fine too.
- Minami: Stop threatening us! Why can't we all get along? We're as bad as the guys.
- Hideyoshi: Don't give me the test! I'm not a girl!
- Himeji: How would we even do an "anti-pervy" thingy?
- Aiko: "Anti-pervy thingy"? You make it sound so adorable.
- Shouko: …She is adorable.
- Minami: Mizuki has always been like that, she's outright precious, and she must be protected.
- Yuuko: Yeah, she's the only innocent one among us, so we can't let boys get their hands on her.
- Aiko: Yeah, and with that rocking body of here, they'd do a number on her.
- Shouko: …She is a goddess among men, after all.
- Minami: So we all agree, we protect our Mizuki!
- Himeji: …Did you all just form the thingy… for me? I… don't think that was what was being asked.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Heh, "XXX".
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: We're about halfway done in this test. I would not blame you if you closed the tab and went to read something else.
20. (To The FFF) Of all the motifs you could have picked, why the KKK? You have Inquisition in your title so wouldn't a radical Catholic / Spaniard motif had been more appropriate? (From Apex85)
- #1: …
- #2: …
- #3: …
- #4: …
- #5: …
- #6: …
- #7: …
- #8: …
- #1: …Why didn't we ever think of that? IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Plus you wouldn't look like a bunch of racist assholes.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: They'd still somehow manage, don't underestimate their stupidity.
21. (To Kouta) Can you give me some information about your technology? In exchange, I'll give you a bunch of photos of Aiko in angles that you don't have yet. Especially when she's naked! (From Sakamae Hisamatsu)
- Kouta: Sorry, insider information is not to be shared. And I seriously doubt you have been able to acquire a shot that I myself am unable. Plus, even if that were true, Aiko is far from the specimen I would be inclined to give my tech for.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: They always say perverts can't act perverted towards their love interest. This must be one of those cases.
- Aiko: Very insightful Akihisa-sensei. Where did you learn that?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Anime.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Of course.
22. (To Nishimura (Iron Man)) Do you have a wife? If yes, I doubt it, though. Because you're so "Iron Man". You know what I'm talking about, right? (From Sakamae Hisamatsu)
- Nishimura (Iron Man): What's that supposed to mean? Of course I do! We've been married for over seven years now. She's the light of my life. I could never be as happy as I am now without her.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: So… is it Pepper Potts? It has to be her, well, her or Captain America. Wait! Are you dating America's Ass?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I ship it.
23. (To Akihisa, Yuuji, Kouta, & Hideyoshi) How do you feel about the FFF? (From theclassidiot)
- Akihisa: They are oh~so~very annoying, although quite hilarious when they are not trying to hang you. I was a member once, I still have the robe!
- Yuuji: They are only useful as "suicide bombers", and even that I use sparingly given how lack luster their grades are.
- Kouta: I don't judge. They form my greatest consumer base. While I disagree with some of their politics, as long as they pay, I do not mind.
- Hideyoshi: I'm honestly embarrassed by them. Even for our cartoony standards, they stand out. I like #8 though, he's nice.
- #1: Are you kidding me! Seriously?! Even our goddess picks this pathetic ass-wipe as the one she likes?!
- #8: I feel tingly in my pingly!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: #1! You get an "F". Everyone else, good job! Especially you #8! You just have such a way with words!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: #8, please, zip up your fly.
24. (To Himeji) What happens if you end up in Class A? What would happen to Class F without you? (From Al Drin Hoshizora)
- Himeji: That would be something. While I don't doubt my friends would somehow survive, as they are not as weak as a lot of people make them out to be, I still feel that the one who'd be worse of would still be me. I'd be lonely, and while I like Shouko, Yuuko and Kubo and the others, it doesn't compare to being with my friends. They are almost family to me, and I can't see myself going through the school year without them. Class A is either all of us, or none of us.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: And we'd have it no other way! You are our dearest friend, Mizuki, and I'll make sure we'll all get to Class A… somehow. Probably kidnapping every other student would be the easiest way, but Hideyoshi says we can't do that.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Not just Hideyoshi. No, you most certainly cannot.
25. (To Akihisa) What is your favorite Role-Playing Game (RPG)? (From butterfly-chan)
- Akihisa: I always knew this day would come. The day, where I'd be ask a question so difficult to answer, I see no other option than withdrawing from the academy… I cannot… go on.
- Yuuji: Over-dramatic much?
- Akihisa: You don't understand! How am I to choose? Between Final Fantasy III, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy XV, Fire Emblem, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2, Kingdom Hearts 3, Kingdom Hearts Five Divided By Sixty Times Nine, Super Mario RPG: The Legend of the Seven Stars, Paper Mario, Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, Mass Effect, Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3 Minus the Ending, The Witcher 3, Skyrim, Knights of the Old Republic, Persona 5, Ni No Kuni, Undertale, Dragon Age: Inquisition, The Division 2, Stardew Valley, Mother 2 which somehow translates to Earthbound, Mother 3, and Untitled Goose Game?!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: It's too much for one person too chose… and I probably didn't name even half of them!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …How much money do you spend on games boy?
26. (To Akihisa) What is nine (9) plus ten (10)? (From cerealkiller49)
- Akihisa: It's-
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: If you say 910, I'll fail you right away.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Oh, come on, who'd be that stupid? It's obviously 19, like, who'd get that wrong?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Oh, my apologies, guess I was quick to… Wait, why is your phone out? Did you seriously Google that answer Akihisa?
27. (To Students) Did you know that if you search your own name with the keyword: "nude" added, you can find pictures you would not like to have on the internet? Describe your thoughts on this below. (From Sadcism)
- Akihisa: Oh, damn, I look good! When the heck was this taken?
- Yuuji: Why on Earth are we plastered all over the web?
- Minami: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Why am I shown like that?! Ah! This is illegal, Kouta I swear I will castrate you!
- Kouta: Don't be such a fool. It's obviously fake. Photoshopped pictures. What kind of a business would I have if I'd allow my shots to go into the w- I mean, I do not take nude pics. Mine are artistically nude, so they cover enough… Please don't hit me.
- Himeji: All of mine make my breasts look smaller.
- Akihisa: …What?
- Yuuji: …What?
- Minami: …What?
- Hideyoshi: …What?
- Himeji: …What? It's true, look.
- Minami: Himeji! Don't just go showing your photoshopped stuff to the boys! Have some shame!
- Himeji: But it's not real.
- Minami: It doesn't matter!
- Shouko: …Who ever made these of Yuuji will pay.
- Yuuko: Why… are there more of Hideyoshi than of me…?
- Aiko: Not gonna lie, if your brother is that hung, I might have to start calling you "sis".
- Yuuko: Can you not!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Objects in picture are larger than shown. Objects in picture are larger than shown. Objects in picture are larger than shown. Objects in picture are larger than shown. Objects in picture are larger than shown. Objects in picture are larger than shown.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …I don't have a single search result with my name.
28. (To Yuuko) Do you recognize the separate gender that Hideyoshi has been placed under? If so, have you ever considered using a name for him other than "brother"? What is it? (From Cammundi)
- Yuuko: Oh for the love of… I will never understand the sheer obsession you people have with Hideyoshi, but sorry to burst your bubble, but he is a boy. B. O. Y. Boy! He has a penis for crying out loud! And that, plus given as how he identifies as a boy, means that he is one! I don't care if you have some gay boner for him and you can't accept yourselves, but don't go making up a new genre just because he looks good wearing a skirt!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: …So, you agree with us he rocks a skirt?
- Yuuko: Not what I meant! And I'm so doing a formal complaint! You are the last person on this planet I want reading my answers and grading my work!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Once you do, allow me the privilege to sign that complaint alongside you.
28.1. (To Yuuko) How big? (From #1)
- Yuuko: …What?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: …What?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …NANI?!
28.2 (To Yuuko) How big is Hideyoshi's penis? That is going to be a very important factor in our next meeting. (From #1)
- Yuuko: …Are …You …Kidding ME! You damn, disgusting pervert! Leave my brother out of that! That's not something you or anyone else needs to know! And, before any smartass makes a comment, I don't know either!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: You know, I'm starting to think we really need to do something about these FFF guys. I feel like that's a problem just waiting to happen.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: For once, I agree. Sexual harassment is not to be tolerated. I'll leave this in the capable hands of Nishimura. Take it away!
- Nishimura (Iron Man)'s Comments: Oh, does the little racist-wannabe want a remedial class in anatomy? I'm more than happy to serve!
- Hideyoshi: …How did he even get these questions in here…?
- Yuuko: Ignore them. You and I both know a boy's worth is so much more than that.
- Hideyoshi: Sis… don't make it sound like I'm lacking…
29. (For #8) Doesn't your relationship with #1 feel a little one-sided? (From Cammundi)
- #8: Considering he was just taken out of the classroom crying and pissing himself, a little, maybe. I did get a bit jealous when Iron Man grabbed him in those big, meaty, sweaty arms of his. Oh, perhaps #1-chan does prefer big men, the total opposite of a scrawny, ugly guy like me. :(
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Nonsense! You deserve someone who loves you for who you are! Who cares if you are a worthless, ugly, disgusting failure! One day, you'll be someone's worthless, ugly, disgusting failure!
- #8: Oh, you have such a way with words Akihisa-sensei!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Oh, don't you try and butter me up! I'm no fool! Have an "A-plus" on the test anyways!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …I just witnessed a conversation between the two biggest idiots on Earth. I'm impressed.
30. (To Akihisa) Were you aware that "teacher" is not spelled "teaecher"? (From Cammundi)
- Akihisa: Of course I am! What do you take me for? A doofus?
- Co-Teaecher Akihisa's Comments: Once more, perfect answer, you handsome devil you!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …Please tell me you do this on purpose. Allow me at least that much.
31. (To Anyone) You thought this was a normal question, but it was I, DIO! (From Who Else? DIO!)
- Masaharu: And you expected a known character to respond to this, but it is I, Masaharu Takashiro!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Who?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Who?
32. (To Minami) Me pareces muy adorable! Mi pregunta es: ¿Que sentiste cuando besaste a Akihisa? (From Denoyt)
- Minami: Oh boy, I get a Spanish question. Alright, let me try and do this right… Really, knowing German, English and Japanese should be enough, but, here we go. Ah… Gracias por el complemento. Yo… Wait, I can actually answer that question honestly because that doofus won't understand it… Yo en verdad me sentia muy nerviosa. No sabia como él racionaria. Pero, me senti bien. Me gusto mucho. No me arrepiento de haber hecho. En la vida hay que atreverse, aunque no siempre salga a tu manera. Aunque, pienso que lo hice bien, no lo crees?
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: …Did Minami call you a doofus?
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: She was referring to-you know what, never mind. That's an excellent response Minami. Grammatically not one-hundred percent, and some letters are missing their accent mark, but given as to you seem able to write in four different languages, I'll shut up and simply give you full marks on this one. Well done!
33. (To Class F (except FFF)) How long do you think you'll stay in this ageless FanFiction? (From Maxride)
- Akihisa: Six years and counting?
- Yuuji: Probably, with how updates are coming along.
- Minami: Does anyone still even read this?
- Himeji: Don't be mean. Writing fanfictions is an unpaid hobby. Lots of writers get burnout and take years to update. At least he's kept active.
- Hideyoshi: I think he's been writing stuff for "Shokugeki no Soma", "Naruto", "Kimetsu no Yaiba" and "Boku no Hero Academia".
- Kouta: …And for "Kanata no Astra".
- Akihisa: No one mentions that one. It didn't get any reviews.
- Zancrow (Author): The truth is-
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Nobody asked you, go back into your corner and don't come out until you have more updates ready!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: …I thought we were above this kind of meta-commentary.
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Ha! You'll be surprised how low we can go for a cheap laugh!
34. (To Co-Teacher Fukuhara) How does it feel to be constantly cut off? (From Maxride)
- Fukuhara: While it is what I believe is called a running gag, it doesn't really happen all that often that I'd-
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: I'm sorry, but it's totally just asking for me to do this. Don't blame me, blame the gag.
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: I'll have-
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: Don't ruin the joke. A running gag must be respected. I should know!
35. (To Everyone) What did you think of the way the last Light Novel of "Baka & Test" ended vs. the Anime ending? How things were resolved and if it should have ended differently for both versions of the story. (From Altair0875)
- Akihisa: Well, my dear Altair and a bunch of numbers, I think-
- Yuuji: Akihisa, wait. This is quite likely our very last question on this test. On all these tests. So, given that, when they say everyone, we'll make sure to include "everyone".
- Akihisa: Even my dentist?
- Yuuji: I don't think he'd apply-That's not what I mean! We'll get as much people as we can manage on this page, even if we need extra sheets. And, given as to we've been the center of attention all these past few tests, let's start with the nobodies. Take it away Masaharu!
- Masaharu: Wait! Why am I the nobody?
- Yuuji: No, you got it all wrong. You are our pack leader, it's after you that the nobodies start, got it?
- Masaharu: Oh, yeah, that makes sense! Then sure, Imma go ahead and answer this. You want to know what I thought about the Light Novel and the Anime ending? They both suck! Why? Because I should have totally ended up with Himeji. And I'll prove it! Here, where it really matters, she and I will be a thing!
- Yukino: Oh, I thought both endings were just lovely! I loved seeing how the relationships developed, and it left room for more, although I do favor the open ended nature of the Anime a bit more.
- Yuuji: Mom?!
- Akihisa: You did say "everybody" Yuuji.
- Shouko: …Hello Mrs. Sakamoto, always a pleasure to see you.
- Yukino: Likewise dear!
- Yoshimitsu: This series is way too random. I get the appeal and all, but seriously, not my thing. At least my brother didn't end up with Akihisa. He needs to find himself a decent man, not someone who could forget how to breathe and drop dead any second.
- Linne: I think Yoshii is cool! And I liked both. Yoshii even got to live with Himeji in the Light Novel. It's his dream come true!
- Hazuki: No! He has to end up with Big Sis! She is the fan favorite for a reason, whatever that means!
- Linne: But he likes Himeji!
- Hazuki: No! He likes Big Sis!
- Linne: Himeji!
- Hazuki: Big Sis!
- Akira: These two kids are adorable, I ship them now. That said, it ended alright. The Light Novel had the right idea in keeping the couples apart, as they should. Little Aki has his Big Sis, and that's all he needs!
- Kaoru (Principal): I don't think he agrees. That said, I do prefer the Light Novel, it was my rules implemented regardless.
- Nishimura (Iron Man): Oh, let the kids have fun. We all did it at that age. Which is why I prefer the Anime. It left room for more, which is always a good thing.
- Edwardo (Akihisa's Dentist): I think Akihisa's dental hygiene leaves much to be desired.
- Yusaku: I hated all of it! I barely appear in it!
- Shunpei: What's more, we appear as a duo, always! We don't even get any character development. You could literally bill us as Asshole #1 and Asshole #2 and no one would care!
- Asshole #1: Yeah, they wouldn't!
- Asshole #2: That's what I just said… Hey!
- Hiromi: See… This is why I didn't want to answer. Now we get this question too. And I don't know what to even say, I'm barely in it!
- Yoshiko: At least we're not those guys that replied before us. Can't get any more extra than that!
- Genji: I much prefer the anime. It at least gave me the ship tease with Yoshiko.
- Yuuka: I'd pick anything over the Light Novels. Volume 11 ended horribly for me.
- Nemoto: B-But, what about me? What about us? No matter the ending we always end up with you dumping me! That won't happen here, right? RIGHT?!
- Miho: I'd also pick anything but the Light Novels. I lost to Akihisa, of all people. Like, why?
- Shimizu: Why would I even care at this point? I never end up with Minami in any ending. I'm just a punch line in an overused joke. Yes, psycho ex-girlfriend type, so funny.
- Kubo: You think you're a gag, please sister, do not get me started.
- Shimizu: Want to catch a movie after this test it over.
- Kubo: You know it!
- Ryo (FFF #1): Even Kubo seems to be on his way to getting laid… I think. I can never read that relationship. But, here, at the very end, I can say, I hated both endings! But having said that, I hate this more, because here I have to deal with this stinking idiot!
- Marty (FFF #8): You're talking about me, aren't ya?
- Ryo (FFF #1): Wait… Since when do you have a name?!
- Marty (FFF #8): Since I was born? We all have names you silly goose! Don't we guys?
- John (FFF #2): We do!
- Jon (FFF #3): We do!
- J'ohn (FFF #4): We do!
- Jonn (FFF #5): We do!
- Shirley (FFF #6): We do!
- Jonathan (FFF #7): We d-Holy shit, you're a girl!
- Shirley (FFF #6): Well, yeah, I've never said otherwise.
- Jonathan (FFF #7): I could have sworn you had told me "surely" when I asked you what your name was. Mind. Blown… Wanna go out?
- Shirley (FFF #6): No.
- Jonathan (FFF #7): :(
- Marty (FFF #8): See Ryo-sama-domo-kun-chan-kankan? We are all unique individuals bursting with personality!
- Ryo (FFF #1): You know what? I no longer care. Iron Man, take me back to hell. Marty, you're in-charge of the FFF now. May you all die in a forest fire some day.
- Marty (FFF #8): OMG! This is the happiest day of my life!
- Aiko: ~ Oh my, how many people came to this, I don't think we can fit much more, and still the main stars have not replied.
- Yuuko: This was always a bad idea from the start. I, on my end, don't really mind either ending. It didn't really offer much closure, and personally, what the heck did I even end at, I can't remember.
- Aiko: Knowing you, with Hideyoshi.
- Yuuko: Don't you start! You probably ended up with Kouta for all you know.
- Aiko: Sis, get with the times. If I really found that idea repulsive, I wouldn't bug him so much. Unlike you, I'm honest with myself.
- Yuuko: …I'm so ready for this day to be over.
- Shouko: …Light Novel. I ended up with Yuuji. I could not be happier. We are on our way to adopting Butterball.
- Yuuji: We are not calling our dog that-I mean, stop fantasying about my future!
- Kouta: I don't much mind the ending either way, but I prefer the Anime on just the visuals alone. The fanservice is top notch, although if it ever gets a revival, I hope it's made in the same vein as Interspecies Reviewers.
- Hideyoshi: That is totally not the type of story we're telling here! I liked the Light Novel ending, because even if it was a little, well, not ideal, it at least offered closure. If there's one thing I dislike is stories that have no clear end. Can't get fully invested in such things.
- Himeji: I did not get the Light Novel ending. Am I with Yoshii? Or not? It's so confusing. Some law that prohibits relationship, like, what? Would that be just inside the school, or are we going to get in trouble outside too? It's too confusing. I wish we'd be given a proper romantic-drama story, anything with a clear, understandable endgame.
- Minami: I'm an Anime girl, full stop. The Light Novel ended way too close to Akihisa / Mizuki for my comfort. The Anime did end up near the part where she confesses, sort-of, but I still got the only kiss, so screw you, that's my Canon.
- Yuuji: I don't mind. My story was told well enough in the Light Novels. Surprisingly to, as I got a clearer ending that Akihisa, and he's supposed to be the lead!
- Akihisa: Yep, I had no idea what that ending was trying to be, so I think I much prefer the anime one. There at least, come next episode and I could awaken my Quirk and become a superhero! Or be accepted into a luxurious academy of exquisite cuisine! Or join a pirate who is going to become the next King of the Pirates! The possibilities are endless! And hey, just like in life, I like knowing that I have no set future in place. The journey is half the fun, and for us, we're still not done! Ain't that right guys!
- Yuuji: You got it!
- Shouko: …Indeed.
- Aiko: He does have his moments, doesn't he?
- Kouta: Affirmative.
- Yuuko: I can see why he's Hideyoshi's friend.
- Hideyoshi: He's your friend too, you know.
- Himeji: And no matter what comes next…
- Minami: …We are most certainly not giving up!
- Co-Teacher Akihisa's Comments: So take it from us, no matter how much you guys think the end is near, keep fighting, keep playing, keep learning, and keep living. From your friends here at Fumizuki Academy, we wish you all the best!
- Co-Teacher Fukuhara's Comments: Very well done you all. We got this finished, six years late, but I'll overlook that. Don't forget that the final grades are still to come, so look forwards to that… Oh, and remember, this will be on the test.
- Zancrow (Author): But I was sure this was the test!
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