Okay, this is my first fanfiction so be gentle :L If you have any helpful criticisms that would be awesome. :)

***************************************************************************************************************************************

"What do you think you're doing?"

I paused the movement of packing my bag for a moment to look up at the source of the slightly husky question. He was standing in the bathroom doorway, his long hair dishevelled and his eyes sleepy.

My heart ached at the sight of him in his tight black t-shirt and loose jeans. I tore my gaze away.

"I have to go." I whispered, picking up my bag and walking to the door.

"Had enough of my love already?" He said, his voice laced with amusement.

I stopped with my hand on the door. If only, I thought. If only you loved me like I loved you.

"You wouldn't know love if it hit you in the face," I said instead. I turned to look at him. His face was as serious as ever, but the corner of his mouth twitched slightly, as if he was thinking of smiling. This is why I had to leave; I knew and could analyse every flicker in his expression. I was hopelessly and completely in love with someone who saw me literally as a source of sexual satisfaction.

"Come here." He ordered, opening his arms.

"Malfoy, I'm leaving."

He made a noise of mild amusement.

"You say that like you're...not coming back." He seemed to finally notice what the size of my bag meant, and his eyes flickered around the room, focusing on the half open drawers before boring into my own.

"I'm not coming back." I said, trying to sound confident.

"I'm sorry, what?" All humour was gone now. His face was set like stone. "I don't think I understand."

"I'm...I'm going."

"Yes, I think we've established that. My failure to comprehend the reason behind it is what the issue is here." He muttered between clenched teeth. "What about our deal?"

"I'm out. I'm going, right now."

"No." He grabbed my bag out of my hand, scattering my clothes across the floor.

I was furious, all rational and calm thoughts went. I wrenched the bag back and glared at him.

"Actually Malfoy, I am leaving. So go fuck yourself." I stormed to the door, ignoring the fact that half of my belongings were all over his floor, and pulled it open viciously.

I was about to walk out of it when it suddenly slammed shut, the sound piercing my ears with the screams of danger.

A huge crack ran down the wood of the door, splinters trickling in its wake.

Shit, I thought. Should probably have left out the 'go fuck yourself' bit.

I turned to find his wand about 3 inches from my face. Despite the hundreds of times I had seen him angry, it still terrified me to see him like this. His eyes darkened with the intensity of his emotions, his jaw locked and his brow knitted so tightly small indentations cracked his forehead.

"I said no, Granger. I'm...not finished with you."

The fury boiled in me again. The audacity he had to stand there and act as though we hadn't entered this "purely-physical-non-emotional" thing as consensual equals, as though he had some kind of ownership over me was infuriating.
"Oh really? Well I'm finished with you."
His hand clamped over my arm, the possessiveness of the action resonated through his voice as he spoke.

"No, I can't let you go." He hissed. "I won't let you leave me."

"Why, Malfoy? Have I hurt your pride? Dented your immaculate self-esteem?" I pulled my arm away, and he looked away. "What's the matter? Is it because you wanted to have the satisfaction of my pain when you left me? All part of your little game?"

At this his head snapped round to look at me.

"What?" He asked, incredulously.

You see he liked to do this. Play innocent and then when he pulled you in, he crushed you. It's how he liked to behave in bed. All sweet and charming until he got you naked and lying open to him; then he would crush you. Call you names, make you feel like a worthless whore. And then he would leave. He never owled you, you always owled him, begging him to take you again which he never did.
Except for me. I was his satisfaction, his tool - he called me when he required my services.

"Granger, what do you mean 'leave you'?" He said, staring at me intently. "What game?"

"Oh stop the bullshit." I hissed. I had thrown down my small sports bag during my rant and as I reached down to pick it up he grabbed my wrist.

I inwardly sighed at the contact, even his most brutal of touches were electrifying.

He pulled me to him, staring down into my eyes with a glare that could pin an ocean.

"What. Did. You. Mean." He repeated, biting out each word.

I love you; he just wanted me to say it out loud so that he could cut me down.

"How long have you known?" I whispered, trapped in his furious and unbreakable gaze.

"What are you-"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

He growled and squeezed my wrists. "Stop it Draco, please!" I cried, struggling against him, causing the hands around my arms to tighten.

"Granger. I swear to God, if you don't explain yourself right now, I'll..." He stopped and shook his head. "What the fucking hell is your problem? Am I now repulsive or something? Have you decided I'm not worth your time or effort? Or have you found someone else to get between your legs?" When I didn't reply, his eyes widened.

"That's it isn't it?" He hissed. "You've found someone else."

I stopped struggling and looked at him. There was something else in his expression other than anger. It looked like he was hurt.

"What...?" I asked, shaking.

"Who is he?" He demanded. "When did you meet him?"

"Malfoy...stop it. I don't understand..."

"CUT THE CRAP AND TELL ME." He dropped my hands and ran his own over his face and through his hair.

I froze. This didn't seem like his usual tactic to get me back into bed with him.

Silence.

A minute went by.

"Before you go, just tell me why," he whispered through his hands. "Please just...why."

Oh. Oh he was good. The whole anger to sad little boy act was a new and yet effective technique. I actually felt like I'd done something wrong, that I really needed to answer him.

"You know why." I said, staring un moving at the boy I loved in front of me. "How long have you known?" I asked again.

His face contorted with evident pain and he turned away from me, walking to the window.

When he spoke, his voice was cracked, it was laced with ice and venom. So much pain.

"I...I didn't know. You kept it hidden very well."

"I don't believe you." I said.

Another silence.

"Granger."

"Yes?"

"Go."

"What?"

He turned to look at me, his eyes were shining with un shed tears. The sight of him tore at me. What the hell was going on?

"Did I stutter?" He snarled. "Go."

"I don't understand."

"Isn't this what you wanted? Me to "release" you of your deal with me? Me to allow you to leave me?" He hissed. And that's when realisation dawned on me. He still wanted to be the one to do it. The one to be ordering me out the door. Power.

I turned angrily and began shoving my clothes back into my bag.

"You have no fucking shame do you!" I screamed, suddenly breaking. How could he take it this far just to be able to say 'I won'? "You bastard. You sick, sick bastard."

"What the fuck are you-"

"Oh okay. So you want me to spell it out for you." I dropped my bag and stood, facing him. "Just tell me if I missed anything out, okay? We have been in this "deal" for...5 months now yes? Yes. You've known all this time my feelings for you. What they have been since the first time I gave myself to you. You knew this. You also knew that I was ashamed of myself, that I hated myself and that I had no chance of getting a boyfriend, of getting Ron- don't look so confused Malfoy, you said it yourself. It's what got us into this arrangement. You were safe knowing you were the only one unlucky enough to fuck me. I don't know what all this shit is about finding someone else. You knew I wouldn't be going around sleeping with various men. You had me. You used me. I lie there after you leave and yes, you always leave, thinking about what you say to the others. Which might I add, after that little act makes you a hypocrite. I know about the different sluts that find their way into your pants. What do you tell them? The truth? Do you tell them I'm just an easy fuck that doesn't mean anything? That you like to let me think that I stand a chance with you? Or do you just not mention me? Well, whatever you tell them, I'm through with this shit. I'm not going to waste my love on some prick that doesn't or can't or even won't love me back. So goodbye Malfoy. Good luck with your next whore; maybe she'll stay longer." I picked up my bag for about the 50th time and actually made it across the room to the door before he spoke.

"Is that what you think you are to me? An easy fuck? A...a whore?"

I turned round, surprised. He sounded angry.

"I don't think, Malfoy. I know."

"Oh really," he said. "You 'know' do you?"

I just looked at him.

"Here's a newsflash for you, Hermione." He whispered, taking a step towards me. "You know FUCK ALL!"

I flinched at the sound of his raised voice. His temper was infamous around school; he could suddenly flip out and when he did, people usually got hurt. The various dents and cracks in the walls around his dormitory along with the new split in the door, were all indicators of how violent he could be. But me, being me couldn't shut up.

"Oh yeah? Well please do enlighten me. I'm a mudblood. Why else would you sleep with someone like me?"

"Shut up." He warned. "Just shut up."

"Don't like hearing the truth?"

He walked closer to me, his body radiating fury.

"You don't know anything." He repeated.

"Then tell me."

"I..." He paused and ran his eyes over my face. "I can't."

I laughed.

"What do you want from me Malfoy?" I said loudly, throwing my hands up. "I've given you everything. Everything."

"No you haven't." He whispered.

I stared at him, unbelieving.

"What more can I give you?"

"I just wish..." He closed his eyes. "I wish you felt like I do."

"You feel?" Sarcasm. I'm brilliant at it.

He didn't say anything. He just stood there looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry I can't be as distant as you, Malfoy." I said, trying to sound as if I didn't care. "I'm sorry I can't share what we share and not develop feelings. I'm sorry I love you."

He slowly raised his head, his eyes piercing mine.

"What did you say?" He asked, his voice barely audible.

"Yes, Malfoy. Congratulations. You've finally got me to say it." I said, turning away from him. As I turned, a tapping at the window caught our attention. It was Zabini's owl. "You better get that."
He gave one short bark of laughter that held no amusement whatsoever and opened the window.
"He's asking me if I want to put any money on the Quidditch."

I had a sudden thought. "It was a bet wasn't it?" I whispered.

"What?"

I looked at him.

"This whole thing - the sex. Getting me to say 'I love you'. All just a bet." I said, speaking in a monotone.

He was again rendered apparently speechless.

"Let's see what it'll take to get Draco Malfoy to fuck the mudblood." I continued. "How much have you won?"

"Granger. Stop it."

"How much will you get?" I was genuinely curious.

"Granger."

"It explains so much!" I said, realisation washing over me. "You've kept it up for so long."

He was in front of me in two strides. He grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes.

"Please, just stop."

"It's okay, Malfoy. You can end it now. I understand."

"Granger!" He exclaimed, shaking me furiously. "What the hell are you talking about? Why are you so insistent that I feel like this about you?"

"Because it's the truth, isn't it?" I replied, looking over his features as if trying to absorb them. "There would be no other reason for you to continue this...this..."

"This what?" He hissed. "What am I to you?"

"Everything."

He inhaled sharply. His eyes flickered over my face as if searching for something.

"Granger, please. Don't lie to me."

"I can't help loving you." I snapped. "I'm sorry it disgusts you so much."

"You keep saying that. You keep saying 'love'." He said quietly, his eyes still running over my face. "Why?"

"BECAUSE," I shouted. "I LOVE YOU."

"No, no you don't." He was so close to me. It hurt. "You can't love me. I'm not worthy of anyone's love."

"No one good enough for you?" I said harshly.

"Too good for me."

"Who is she?"

"Who?" He didn't sound like he was paying attention.

"The one who's too good for you?" I asked. "It's Parkinson isn't it?"

"You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." He murmured.
"Stop evading me."
"I'm trying to tell you, Hermione." He continued softly, brushing the strands of hair that had fallen across my face behind my ear. "Listen to me."