AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I know it has been forever and I will update a lot more soon, it's just that summer is really busy for me and on top of that I'm moving this weekend and I've been working a lot and my life is just super hectic at the moment.

This chapter is for princessjames21 whose birthday is today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART!

WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Dark Themes

ENJOY!

xxxx

"Is it possible that I don't want to remember, deep down?" Brooke asked slowly, looking at her hands.

She was chewing on her lip as the counselor took some notes from their session, noticing that the ticking of the clock was going by so slowly—or so it seemed. Brooke had never felt so anxious in her life, and she was beginning to think that maybe she should be talking to her husband, because that was what you did in a marriage, right? You had communication with your spouse. Married people were supposed to be able to lean on each other, especially when one of them was without memories and needed help to open them all back up.

"It seems to me like you think that," the counselor responded, smiling when Brooke gave her a look. "Why do you think that you might not want to remember?"

Brooke took a deep breath. "Because my best friend told me today that the night of the accident, I found something out about my husband and what he's been keeping from me, and I just…what if deep down I don't want to remember and I don't even know it?"

"Do you think it's possible he could be hiding something that big?" The redhead asked with a smile on her face. "From what you've told me about your husband, he's a good one."

"I think he's a great one…I don't know how I know that about him, but I just feel it in my bones, you know? I just know that Dean Winchester is my one. He's my person, you know?" Brooke asked the woman, nodding when she did. "I think that if it was something bad, I still want to know, but yeah, I think I'm a little bit afraid, especially now. Now that I know that this beautiful thing I have could be a lie, I guess I don't want to remember."

"You want this to be your perfect fantasy?" the woman asked, and nodded when Brooke nodded after a pause. "It's understandable, but you have a family to think about."

Brooke nodded slowly, thinking about her little boys and sighing because she knew that they deserved better than this. They deserved to have their mother remember them and that meant that Brooke was going to have to suck this up but what if…what if she could remember everything but the accident? What if somehow she could keep that blank and keep this family that she was now so attached to? God, it hurt her to even think that way because she would never want to not know this secret before. She was Brooke Davis, and honesty was important to her.

After everything that she had been through, she needed to know that her husband was every bit the husband that she thought that he was. She needed to know that she had made the right choices and that she and Dean were meant to be together like she felt in her bones and yet…and yet Brooke didn't want to shatter this illusion. She wanted to keep this buried because if she didn't know, then she and Dean could live together happily and nothing would get in the way of that. Dean wouldn't try this hard for her if this wasn't true love, would he?

"I will always put my family first," Brooke promised, smiling at the woman. I just won't put myself first.

xx

Dean couldn't help but feel like something was very wrong.

He knew that no matter what was going on in Brooke's head, he was going to be able to get through to her…he just knew it. In fact, he and Brooke had always been on the same page before, and even given this recent information, he was pretty certain that he could turn this around in his favor. She would be furious at him of course, for keeping it to himself, but at the same time he needed to do this because she was his wife and they were in a relationship—he never should have kept hunting from her in the first place and he knew that.

Dean had wanted to tell Brooke from the start, but at the same time he thought that she would be safe if she didn't know, and she'd fallen in love with him. She'd wanted to keep him and he had finally let himself have her and be happy and have a family, and he didn't want to lose her, so he kept it buried and he kept his girl. Brooke would have understood, he knew that, but he just didn't want her to become part of her world and be put in danger—he didn't want his kids to be in danger—and now it was like all of his planning had been for nothing.

Brooke was still in trouble.

If a demon had in fact run her off the road, then it was going to come back and it would get worse and his children would be threatened. Not to mention that Haley might be in the mix too and he had to protect his sister-in-law no matter what happened. Dean felt like he was at a crossroads, but at the same time he knew that there was no other choice and so when Brooke came through the door, Dean went right to her and crashed his lips into hers. Brooke didn't know what to expect, but she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him and keeping him close.

His heart beat against hers through his shirt and he smiled at when she pulled back and nuzzled his nose with her own, Brooke looking him in the eye. She might not have had all of her memories, but she was still his Brooke—she was still in there somewhere—and he would be damned if he didn't get through to her somehow. She had been starting to come back to him and he was going to make sure that she fully came back to him, and that more than that, they'd be stronger than before.

"We need to talk," Dean told her.

Brooke made a face and shook her head. "I don't think that we do. I think we should focus on getting some more memory pieces back—we've been good at that."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dean said suddenly as he looked over her body language, "you're dodging me. You know more than you're letting on…and you're dodging me!"

"It's really annoying that you know me," Brooke explained before she moved to walk away from him.

"Get used to it," Dean retorted before continuing. "What do you remember about the accident?"

Brooke swallowed, turned away from him. "Nothing, actually, but you want me to remember, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do, because I want to know what son of a bitch did this to you!" Dean replied, raising his voice. "Did this to you and to Jamie!"

"You don't think I know it happened to our son?!" Brooke asked angrily, whirling around on him. "Screw you!"

Dean knew his wife well enough to know that this was the moment that she was going to storm out, so he instead put his arms on either side of her and pinned her in between him and the wall. She shook her head at him and rested her head against the wall, Dean looking her in the eye and noting the sadness in her eyes as she looked back at him. This wasn't what the argument was really about and he reached up to stroke her hair, Brooke closing her eyes and reveling in his touch. It was so surreal to her, knowing how desperately she needed this touch from him even though she couldn't fully remember.

"Please don't make me remember," Brooke told him slowly.

Dean rested his forehead against hers. "Baby, we need to make it through this, and that means you need to remember."

"No," Brooke replied, pushing on him a little and feeling tears well up when he didn't budge. "Dean, please…please, don't make me."

"Why?" Dean asked her, curious as to why she was behaving this way.

"Because I don't want to have to be mad at you," Brooke admitted, nodding when Dean pulled back a little and looked at her rather confused. "I don't want to think ill of you. I don't want to argue with you. I just want to be happy, Dean. I just want to carry on."

Dean took a step back and pulled his hands away. "We can't be happy if I know you won't heal because of me."

"Son of a bitch!" Brooke exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.

"I have to tell you, Brooke!"

"Why?! To clear your own conscience, or to help me?"

"BOTH!"

Brooke scowled, moving away from him and sitting on the couch, putting her head in her hands. She didn't want Jamie to come and see his parents fighting, but she couldn't help it right now because she just didn't want this. She didn't want to doubt him or find out he was cheating on her or just…Brooke wanted to have her happy family and yet she knew she was wrong. Brooke knew that Dean was only trying to look out for her and that meant that she had to listen to him, but she was terrified about what it was that he was going to say and she just didn't want to hear it.

"Brooke, it's not like I'm cheating on you, okay?" Dean said, Brooke throwing him a murderous look. "Baby…this is important and you need to know. I can't protect you if you don't know."

She paused and swallowed. "Protect me?"

"God, I'm going to sound like a crazy person," Dean said as he ran his hand down his face. "You and Haley have been trying to figure out Sam and I for years. We thought we were protecting you even though I almost told you time and time again. Baby, why are you crying?"

"Because I've always wanted this," Brooke admitted, looking at her hands as Dean sat down next to her. "I've always wanted a family and kids and a man that loved me as much as it seems like you love me and then you just…am I going to hate you? Is it going to ruin this? Because if it is, I don't want to know. I don't want to remember. I just want to have you and the boys and yes, I want to remember everything about Jamie and Robert and Johnny, but I just feel like what you're going to tell me is going to make me so angry and I don't want that, Dean."

Dean paused and swallowed. "This isn't like you…you want answers. You want honesty."

"I know," Brooke admitted again, tears spilling out of her eyes. "I just feel like maybe the accident was a blessing on my part—not on Jamie's. Whatever I found out it—"

"—it was the reason you were run off the road," Dean cut her off, trying to get her to understand.

Brooke's eyes snapped to his and they made eye contact, Brooke nodded slowly because she had figured as much, closing her eyes and letting the tears spill out. There was nothing that broke Dean Winchester more than seeing Brooke Davis cry, and he cupped her face, letting his thumbs wipe away her tears as he kissed her tenderly. This was his wife and she was at odds with herself and in all kinds of emotional pain, and he just wanted to kiss all of the hurt away. He just wanted to make sure that she understood that this was something that needed to happen.

"I love you," Dean whispered against her mouth. "Baby, I love you. I've always loved you and I never wanted to hide this from you, but I thought you were being protected."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him and listening to his heartbeat. "I believe you…"

"You won't believe me when I tell you what I am," Dean said slowly, surprised when he felt Brooke's grip tighten on him instead of loosen. "I'm a hunter—and no, I'm not the kind that hunts 'Bambi' or some shit like that. I'm a hunter. Demons, vampires, ghosts—and a demon ran you off the road with my son in the car."

"This isn't happening…" Brooke told him as she stood up. "This just isn't…spirits, sure, but demons? Running people off of roads? Next you're going to tell me that vampires exist!"

"They do—werewolves too," Dean responded and when Brooke opened her mouth and then shut it again, Dean nodded at her. "You hate me."

Brooke shook her head. "No…no, I don't hate you."

"I'm surprised you're not running away…"

"When Jamie was two, you and Sam were on the phone about a Wendigo…" Brooke said slowly, rubbing her temple, remembering something. "You were…I just thought it was nothing, but…"

Dean crossed over to her and put his hands on her hips, pulling against him. "You're remembering…why didn't you tell me then?"

"I don't…I don't know…" Brooke admitted, feeling a little bit faint, but just as she was about to say something else, she fainted, falling into Cas' waiting arms.

Note: I hope you guys are still enjoying this story. There's a bit of a snag happening in this chapter it seems with Dean and Brooke wanting different things, and oh look, Cas is here…what could possibly happen next? Feedback is always appreciated!