Chapter 2

Shockingly, when I wake up at 8 the next morning the snow has all melted, meaning that there will be no panicking peacekeepers trying to clear the roads before members of the Capitol arrive. It also means that, with the sun shining as it is, we won't have to bundle up as much for the walk to the square, which is a relief considering the amount of effort it'll take to escort mum there anyway.

Attending the reaping is an obligation, not an option, no matter what age you are or what condition you in. Babies that are barely days old will be forced into the thick crowds with their mothers. On the first, horrifying year of the Games, one man collapsed and suffered a heart attack during the reaping, and since then the rules have been changed; if you're on death's door, you will be permitted to stay home, as long as it's 'Capitol approved'.

Fortunately for us, mum's case isn't quite severe.

Pulling my aching body out of bed with a heavy heart, I try to remain optimistic as I think back over the last five games, where each time I've escaped being reaped. Each year, however, the odds have become more and more out of my favour.

During the 2nd Hunger Games, at only 12, my name was entered once, with Tuney's entered six times. By the time the 4th Hunger Games had arrived, however, we were slowly starving, and mum was becoming more and more ill to the point where without telling mum or Tuney, I signed up for tesserae. This meant that, while we were given a small supply of grain and oil that would help our chances of survival for the year, my name was entered into the reaping six times- three because I was obliged to, and three for enough grain and oil for our family of three. Tuney, at 19, was no longer eligible to sign up for it.

I told them the truth eventually. At 14, while strengthened beyond my years due to what we'd been through, I was still immensely fragile at the time of the reaping, and broke down one night and told them.

The look on mum's face when I'd told her is permanently embedded into my brain now. It's not easy to go into a reaping when you realise that even your mum has lost hope in the odds.

I wonder if the names have already been placed meticulously in the glass sphere by now. I wonder if our host's hand will ever stray near to one of my 21 slips.

Just the thought sends shivers down my spine, and I push it aside while pulling on the navy blue dress that Petunia's laid out for me. I note that it's one she's made herself, when she's not too busy gallivanting out with Vernon. One of the few reasons that we've survived this long in District 12 is the small textiles business we've been running over the last six years, which has allowed us to remain in the Merchant section and either sell or trade materials, often in the form of dresses or shirts.

It's just a simple dress, with no fancy detail or alterations, but it's all I'm really looking for. If I could, I'd wear my normal khakis and a shirt, but it's standard that we all dress up for the reaping. If I did stick to my khakis, I would guarantee a camera being trained on me to display the 'poverty of District 12', and I refuse to give the Capitol that satisfaction.

My hair still hangs to my waist as it did all those years ago, making it the only thing that connects me with the child I used to be. My formally vibrant eyes have faded to a dull green, it seems. Aside from my mum, the two people that could bring out the life in them have been taken away from me.

As I'm walking towards my bedroom door, I freeze as I pass my desk, my eyes landing on a small object in the middle of it.

I had planned on giving it to him on that fateful Christmas, but the sirens had stolen my chance to. A thin leather band to wrap around his wrist- simple, and probably too girly for him, but I'd had little money to spend on presents for anyone that year. What made it special though (or so I'd assumed as a ten year old) was the peculiar shaped leaf made of brass that hung on it, one in the exact shape of the leaves on the tree they would sit under.

Without a further thought, I pick it up, pulling on the already weakened leather so that it's big enough to fit on my 17 year old wrist.

Maybe it's the fact that I was only thinking about the boy that could bring life into my eyes moments ago, or maybe it's the fact that this is his reaping day too. Whatever it is, I murmur a good luck to the sky before leaving to wake up mum.

...

It's easy to tell mum's putting on an optimistic face as she slices thick, warm bread for me and Tuney, but I go along with it anyway. While frail, my mum is also very stubborn, a trait she's passed on to me. So when she gives me a comforting smile from across the table, I return it with as much enthusiasm as I can.

The bread has no taste as I chew on it obediently, trying to keep it in my stomach.

'Lily!'

'What?' I snap, perhaps a little too sharply as Tuney comes hurrying into the kitchen, but she barely falters, already on auto-pilot for getting us all ready for the reaping at 11.

'Alice is here to see you.' She tells me, before going to fuss over mum, who bats her away lightly, muttering about not being a child.

How the Reaping changes us all, I think bitterly, before leaping out of my seat to meet Alice at the door. Simply thinking of my best friend manages to push oxygen back into my lungs, making breathing a little easier and my brain a bit clearer.

With a woolly hat pulled over her mousy hair and her cheeks flushed, Alice has a small smile on her face as she walks towards me. Without a word exchanged between us, she wraps her arms around me tightly, and I relax into her despite myself. Brought up in the Seam by her dad and two brothers, Alice is a remarkably cheerful person despite the tough conditions she's been in.

'How're you doing Alice?' My mum's appeared at the doorway, and I wince at how thin she looks in the dress she's put on for today. Despite that though, she beams at Alice, knowing fully well how close her and I have become ever since being sent to District 12.

'Hi Mrs Evans-' She replies, gently hugging my mum too as the latter playfully scoffs.

'I keep telling you, it's Miriam-' She tells Alice sternly, before something in the kitchen catches her eye. 'Slice the bread a bit thinner Petunia dear, we have a guest now-'

'Oh no don't worry, I can't stay for too long-' Alice calls after mum as she hobbles into the kitchen to hopefully tell Tuney off.

Alice turns back to me with a half-hearted sigh, her smile now hesitant as she scans my face. As much as I love my mum, no-one in this world knows me better than Alice right now.

'Why don't we talk somewhere else?' She questions lightly, and I nod with a small smile.

Once we've retreated to my room, Alice sits down on the bed and pauses as I sit next to her.

'Look Lily-' I stop her before she can finish, already knowing what she's about to say.

'Please, I don't want to-'

'I know but-' She grabs one of my hands, holding it between her two thin ones and looking pleadingly at me. 'Trust me, I remember what it feels like on this day.'

Obviously, she's telling the truth, so I relax slightly. Lucky for Alice, she's no longer eligible for the reaping at the age of 19, which is one less worry for me.

'I just want you to know...' She trails off, obviously not being able to find the words to finish her sentence, but the look in her blue eyes and the way she squeezes my hand gives me the comfort that words do not.

'I know.' I whisper back, and she gives me a hug again before pulling away. Seeing tears in her eyes, I quickly change the subject before she can burst into tears. As much as I love her, that isn't something I'd be able to handle right now.

'How's Frank?' I ask after her fiancée, a 20 year old young miner that also lives in the seam. Frank has the cunning ability to put a smile on anyone's face, which is a somewhat blessing in a place like District 12.

'He's good.' She replies with a smile, before looking slightly nervous. 'We've actually got some news, that's one of the reasons why I came over so early this morning.' She takes a deep breath as I give her a smile of encouragement, before her abruptly shaky voice continues. 'Frank and I are...having a baby.'

Despite the day, despite the fact that the possibility of being reaped is hanging over my head like a thunder cloud, I can't deny the thrill of joy that rushes through me at her declaration. Giving a high pitched squeal, I pull her to her feet, hugging her and laughing as I congratulate her.

'I can't believe- how long have you known?' I ask, my voice still unusually high-pitched as I smile at her. She looks flustered but glowing as she smiles equally as wide.

'Not long, I promise, I wanted you to be one of the first to know, after Frank of course.' She gets that loving look in her eyes again, the one she always does when talking about Frank, and I can already picture his ecstatic reaction at the news. The thought makes me smile even more. Alice is rather lucky for someone living in the seam- while she hasn't got good living conditions, she has enough love for a lifetime.

Due to Alice and Frank's families' sheer determination over the past years, they're not as nearly as bad off as a lot of the families in the seam, so it's comforting to know that the new baby and Alice will be supported to a certain extent.

And yet, there's still that nagging worry in the pit of my stomach, I see it on her face too. Children are a blessing, of course, but neither of us would intentionally have them on purpose. For fear of them suffering. For fear of them being reaped and made to fight to the death.

And yet, despite it being an accident, Alice is having one of her own. I can't help but see it as both a blessing and a cause for fear, despite being overjoyed by it.

There's a pause for a few moments as we continue to hug, before I pull away from her and squeeze her hand. 'I'm so happy for you two. Or you three I should say.' I add with a chuckle, and she's about to reply when Tuney calls from the kitchen.

'Lily, we have to tidy up before going to the town square!'

With one sentence, Tuney pulls both me and Alice back to reality. Or perhaps we were already there, just too overjoyed at the prospect of a new life to acknowledge it.

Alice squeezes my hand yet again, before mouthing to me. It'll be okay. She tells me, trying to seep comfort into me as I nod determinedly.

'I know.'

...

2029

'Daddy, my legs have gone numb.'

Discreetly, I slowly turn my head towards the source of the small voice, looking through my curtain of hair to see a girl around my age, her knees tucked up against her chest as her dad's arm wraps around her protectively. Packed tightly into the cold and foul-smelling van, all of them have hardly any room to move for fear of accidentally jabbing another person in the stomach, back or even face, in the cases of some of the older adults lying down with their eyes closed, obviously trying desperately to shut out the world around them.

I've tried to do the same, but all I can see behind my eyelids is my home village in flames, and James' face as I was forced into the white van.

'Don't worry sweetie, I'm sure they'll take us home soon.' The dad tells his daughter, stroking her fair hair and trying to look optimistic.

'How much longer do you think it'll be?' Tuney asks in a hollow voice. Mum is sat between both of us, and both me and Tuney are curled up to her sides, what little possessions my mum managed to collect before our house burned at our feet.

From what I've heard from the people around us, for the three days that me and James were hiding, fire bombs were dropped all over the country, signalling one thing- the Capitol's victory. The rebellion is over, and now we're paying the consequences.

How, we don't yet know.

As if they were listening to my thoughts, a few of the Capitol men suddenly burst into the back of the van where we're being kept, their faces harsh as they tuck their guns into their sides in case there's any trouble. I watch as one of the little boys nearest the men gulps and recoils slightly.

I'm suddenly hit with a pang of longing for James, and wonder where he is now.

'Please...tell us what's happening.' A man, that I vaguely recognise from our town, speaks up suddenly, his voice gruff and pleading. I'm mildly envious of his clear bravery, and the defiance in his eyes. 'Where are we going?'

'The Rebellion is over.' He spits, his voice slightly accented from growing up nearest the Capitol. 'President Riddle has ordered that the country of Panem is split up into 12 different districts. You're being taken to one of them now.'

There's only silence for a few moments as the news sinks in, and I feel mum's arm tighten around my side. I have an awful feeling in my stomach, and swallow thickly; basically, we're being imprisoned.

'You're being taken to District 12.' The man adds, and there's a hint of a smirk on his face, and he exchanges a look with the man next to him as if it's some private joke.

I clear my throat, speaking before I have the chance to think about: 'What about the people that were left behind?'

Every pair of eyes in the van dart to my face, completely shocked at the little voice that has dared to speak out.

'Lily-' Mum scolds as a flicker of anger flashes across the man's face, and he's about to say something when another man behind him cuts him off.

'Leonard.' He says warningly, before stepping forward so that I can see him. I'm astounded by how young he is; he looks barely 18, much too young for being in the clutches of that uniform. He surveys me curiously, before answering carefully.

'They'll be taken to other districts around the country.'

'Can we see them?' I ask quietly; compared to the other man, I'm not really afraid of this one.

The young man's about to answer when the older one from earlier cuts him off. 'No. There will be no contact between the districts unless permission is granted by the Capitol itself.' A pause, before- 'You all work for the Capitol now, the new nation formed of those that didn't rebel.' He emphasises the last part, spitting it out again as he sneers down at us all.

The van slows to a stop after a while, and we're told to get up and make our way towards the doors that are beginning to creak open. As the van jolts and my legs buckle slightly from sitting down for so long, I feel a hand on my shoulder, steadying me. I look up to see the young Capitol man from earlier, and he looks at me for barely a second before looking up, his attention caught by something in front of us all.

The doors to the van are being opened, a sharp rush of air hitting us all like a knife as the horrible man from earlier steps forward, a grim smile on his face.

'Welcome to District 12.'

...

'Age?'

I'm about to reply when a harsh cry suddenly fills the air, and I look beyond the Peacekeepers to see a young girl of 4 or 5 clinging to her older sister, who is trying and failing not to cry as she tries to pry off the little girl and join the queue of her age range.

'No! Katniss please don't leave-'

'Age?' The man before me repeats impatiently, a bit louder this time so that I'm forced to look back at him. With a jolt that sends a shiver down my spine, I suddenly recognise him from the van that first took me to District 12. Seeing as the only Peacekeepers registering us today are from the Capitol (District 12's are far more kind), I realise this must be why I never saw him around after that day.

I notice that his face is unchanged, his sneer still in place as he stares me down.

'17.' I tell him, my defiant eyes not leaving his face as he presses a stamp to my hand before noting something down on the clipboard in front of him. I vaguely wonder if he recognises me at all.

'Next!' He barks to the person behind me, and I stalk off with as much anger as I can with my trembling legs.

I spot mum, Tuney, Alice and Frank not too far away, all talking in low voices, and I make my way towards them without a second thought. The peacekeepers surrounding the Town Square aren't doing too much to keep order; over the years, I've noticed that they seem to hate this occasion too, and don't hide their disdain of the Capitol Peacekeepers that keep order by shoving and barking orders out.

A large stage has been set up in the square, with a huge screen that looks extremely out of place in District 12, where we're given a tiny TV for each household, purely so that we watch the mandatory Capitol programming. All the girls and boys from ages 12-18 are filtering out in front of the stage nervously, some keeping in tight groups until they're forced to be separated.

However, I'm one of the first to be dismissed, so I decide to spend my last few moments with family and friends before I'm forced to go stand beside the other 17 year olds.

Frank is the first to spot me. 'Hey, Lily.' He greets me cheerfully, but even his eyes are slightly clouded over with anxiety. As the others turn to me with bright faces but similar eyes, I can't ignore the vulnerability I feel. As mum wordlessly reaches out to grasp my hand comfortingly, the fear I feel threatens to swallow me whole.

There's nothing you can do. I remind myself. Anyway, what are the odds?

I'm about to reply internally with Very high when a cheery voice suddenly calls out over the speakers, standing out in the miserable atmosphere around us.

'Could everyone please gather in the square, the Reaping of District 12 is about to start!'

As people begin to hurry past me, I turn away from my mum, not allowing myself to show her how frightened I am.

'Hey-' I look up at Alice, thankful that she's slightly more composed than everyone else; then again, this could be due to the fact that Frank's arm is around her, warm and comforting as she reaches out to squeeze my hand. 'I'll see you soon yeah?'

After a moment, I nod, glancing at Tuney who meets my eyes hesitantly. 'Yeah. I'll see you soon.'

...

'Welcome everyone!'

I'm distracted from staring down at my shoes, at the dust billowing around them on the ground by the sound of an overly chirpy voice, and look up in time to see a woman tottering onto the stage, microphone in hand.

While the last 3 years have had Effie Trinket as their host, this year she's been replaced by an even more extravagant version of the Capitol woman. Her olive skin stands out among the pale, ashen faces of District 12 completely, as does the electric red curly bob she's sporting, the ringlets piled on top of her head and giving her the appearance of a poodle.

Frankly, it's repulsive, but the new host seems to interpret the crowd's shocked faces as stares of admiration, as she looks utterly delighted as she puts the microphone down on the stand and taps it quickly.

She probably gives no thought to the fact that people are staring because their lives practically lie in her hands. My eyes briefly dart to the two glass spheres that hold the tributes names, and I wonder how close my slips are to the top before looking back at the host, who I nick-name 'Curly' for the time being.

'Welcome, District 12! And, happy Hunger Games! It is truly an honour to be here.' She tells us in her accented Capitol voice, and I can't help but doubt her sincerity of that sentence. District 12 is the poorest, least popular district of Panem. 'The time has come to select one young man and woman, for the honour of representing District 12 this year. But, first we have a very special message sent to you all the way from the Capitol.'

At that, she totters over in ridiculous heels to press a switch next to the screen, and it immediately lights up. Suddenly, we're confronted with images of the rebellion, and I close my eyes, just as I have every other year. However, I can't block out the sound without looking suspicious, so I'm forced to listen to President Riddle's message.

'Once upon a time, Panem was a land of harmony, of peace, beauty and triumph. After the great disaster that had shaken our world so many years ago, we had found tranquillity, after so much War and destruction.'

Riddle's voice is completely unlike anything I've ever head; melodic and fluent, it should be almost pleasant to the ears. However there's an undertone to it, as if he's laughing at his own words. Sly and menacing, it reminds me of a snake. Not to be trusted.

Not that I would ever voice these thoughts aloud.

'But then, one terrible year, we found ourselves victim to another rebellion. Those that thrived on murder and the destruction of a well-built nation began leaving Panem with widows and orphans. Flowers became fire, and the air became tarnished with betrayal...'

Everything about his words are biased and glorified, and I feel sick to the stomach as he continues on with details of the rebellion. The so called 'glorious' Panem loved those of a higher class and left the rest of us to fend for ourselves. In no way did I blame the rebels. I was born to them, I belong on their side, and proudly so.

'And then came the peace, the end of the rebellion that began a new era of Panem. The Capitol, the former government, now became an entire nation in itself, full of those that had not rebelled; those that loved their nation, and had lost so much in their will to be loyal, honourable, and pure of heart. Panem would now be split into 12 districts, with each manufacturing the structure of our nation.'

We're slaves. I add to Riddle's words, and briefly wonder how my face must look now.

'But peace comes with a price. As a punishment to the traitors that had defied their nation, a decree was passed. The decree stated that as a reminder to the rebels, each year, the various districts of Panem would offer up two tributes, one male and one female, to take part in The Hunger Games. During this, they would fight to the death, with the lone victor becoming a symbol of our forgiveness, and of the districts' sacrifice. This, would make sure that we would never have to face the treachery of the rebellion ever again.'

Once I'm certain that the message has finished, I open my eyes to see Curly looking at the audience as if she expects applause. After a few moments, she takes the hateful silence as an awed approval, and beams at us all again.

'Like I said, you're all very, very lucky that we were able to witness President Riddle's wise words.' Curly tells us, before looking slightly uncomfortable and continuing. 'Now, seeing as there are no previous victors to introduce-'

Of course there aren't. In the last 6 games, 5 out of 6 victors were from Districts 1, 2 and 4, those closest to the Capitol. These districts are made up of those that didn't rebel, but the Capitol could not afford to keep in their own city. However, there are rumours: rumours that among these special districts, there are rebels that managed to escape imprisonment in the poorer districts like 12 or 11.

Part of me continuously wishes that we had been one of them; In those 3 districts, we've noticed that conditions are so much better. While there's no contact between the 12, every year when we see the televised reapings, we see the conditions of the districts.

District 1: practically the Capitol, only with less extravagance and with a population that look a little more normal. Except these ones are usually bloodthirsty, eager to volunteer: there's silent speculation among our district that they've been trained, almost brainwashed to fight in the Hunger Games. After all, winning equals fame. District 2 is similar, with 4 being the lesser of the evils, but only a tiny bit.

What stands out the most, however, is the fact that in these districts, when the camera pans over the crowd, there's not a skeletal figure in sight. Unlike some of the poorer Districts.

'-We'll just head straight to the drawing. Ladies first, as always!' Curly chirps, before moving swiftly towards the glass sphere to her right.

This is the 6th year that I'm reminded of the sharp intake of breath from the crowd as her hand hovers in the sphere. The 6th year that I trace all movement of her hand as it decides which slip of paper to grab. The 6th year that I yearn to look for mum or Alice, just for a bit of comfort, but I'm too afraid to remove my eyes from the sphere.

As she plucks a piece from the sphere, holding it triumphantly in the air as she walks back into the microphone, I can only register the wild beating of my heart, and my cold hands as they shake visibly, clasped in front of me.

Just as she taps the microphone in order to read out the name, a baby from somewhere at the back of the crowd begins to cry in distress, completely unaware that this is a televised affair.

For the 6th year, I can barely breathe as she opens her mouth to speak.

'Lily Evans!'

It's me.

...

A new wail of despair pierces the air and joins the baby, but to my surprise, it isn't mine. Recognising it as mum's, I choke slightly on air before gulping loudly, completely aware that a camera will now be trained on my face, analysing my every move. I can either break down, like most tributes do, or attempt to compose myself so that I'm not seen as weak, easy prey.

Which is of course what I am, but I won't let them see it.

In some sort of dream-like trance, I walk through the crowd of 17 year old girls, not meeting any of their sympathetic eyes. I've never been too close to any of them, and now is not the time to act as if we're all best friends.

It's me. I repeat in my head, and my lips quiver before I swallow determinedly again, keeping any tears at bay.

'Come on up!' Curly calls out in a cheery voice, and I have half a mind to get my hands on the first heavy thing I can find and hurl it at her ridiculous wig.

As I walk towards the stage, my legs quivering as if they're made of wicker, my first instinct is to run. Run away from the town square, away from District 12, somehow make it to the vast forest that splits us from the other districts. Many have done it before; not after being reaped, however.

But that option isn't open as a few Peacekeepers surround me, leading me up the steps and onto the stage. The wind picks up then, blowing my hair into my face as the crowd remains silent.

Curly has suddenly put her hands on my shoulders, pulling me gently towards the center of the stage as her sweet perfume overpowers my senses completely.

'There we go, our first tribute for this year! Can we have a round of applause?'

Curly clearly hasn't watched the last few reapings of District 12, because after her first year of trying to get any cheery response out of the district, Effie Trinket gave up. No-one responds at all, their eyes either trained sympathetically on my face or on their feet. In no time at all, I track down the four people I'm looking for. Tuney has her arms around mum, a disbelieving and tormented expression on her blotchy face as mum cries silently into her dress. Alice seems to have a vice grip on Frank's arm, frowning as if she can't quite believe what's happening.

As Curly walks towards the next sphere, my feelings are quite similar to Alice's.

How is this happening? I think, my eyes staring into space as I force myself to breathe. I was supposed to be okay. It wasn't supposed to be me.

'Remus Lupin!' Curly's voice breaks me out of my reverie, and I feel as if someone's punched me in the gut. Because I recognise that name, and as I spot him in the crowd, with an expression similar to Alice's, I recognise the face.

We've never been close, or possibly even friends, but we've never been enemies either. He lives in the seam with just his mother and two sisters, and I've seen him quite a bit at school. Just like me and Alice, he kept to a small circle of friends, quiet and slightly gloomy. Once or twice, I've sat next to him in History, and been astounded at his clear intelligence despite his quiet attitude.

But as he makes his way towards the stage, I realise that that's not who I remember him as.

It was only once that I caught him in the act, but I know that it's a regular occurrence for him. I had just been on my way back from visiting Alice in the seam when there'd been a body discovered in the road, causing there to be disturbances around that area. Not wanting to have to endure that sight or atmosphere, I'd taken another route; longer, but certainly pretty- the outskirts of the District near the river and woods.

It had been as I walked past the woods I'd seen him. Straightening up next to the fence as if he'd just crawled under it, a huge bag in his arms. Slung over his arms was a bow and arrow, and on his face upon seeing me, an expression of pure shock. We'd stood there for what felt like hours, just looking at each other as if even I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have been.

Hunting is forbidden in District 12, completely illegal. We both knew that if either one of us happened to let slip what Remus had been doing, there would be consequences. For hunting, he would be executed for sure. For keeping it a secret, I would hopefully escape with a whipping.

It was a price neither of us wanted to pay, so we watched each other carefully. After a minute or so, in what I could only hope was a comforting manner, I gave him a small smile, squinting against the sun and intending to show him that it was fine, I wouldn't tell a soul. And I didn't. Once I had walked away, leaving him in complete shock, I didn't even tell Alice or mum.

I turn my head to see him glancing at me as he walks towards the center of the stage, looking very much like he wants to cry. I vaguely hear one of his sisters wailing in the audience, and watch as he sets his jaw determinedly.

'I present to you, District 12's tributes for the 7th Hunger Games!' Curly suddenly says, her voice extremely loud now that we're on the stage with her. She thrusts both of us forward so hard that I stumble ever so slightly, and already feel mortified at the thought of being seen weak on TV. Then again, I highly doubt anyone will pay attention to the District 12 reaping. 'Come on now you two, shake hands.'

We both turn slowly towards each other, neither meeting each other's eyes as we grasp each other's hands firmly. His is warm and calloused around mine, and I meet his eyes for the briefest second, seeing my own anxiety reflected there.

I tear my eyes away from his face, very aware of what this means for both of us. Suddenly, the only thing I can think of is which one of us will be the first to be killed.

I let go of his hand as if I've been scalded.

...

Barely 10 minutes later, we're given some time to say goodbye to anyone that wishes to. A small part of me wishes that we didn't have to; I'm not sure that I can handle mum's tears and Alice's goodbye without completely breaking down, but I also know that I need to hear them speak one last time.

One last time. I replay the words over in my head and feel a clawing sensation in my stomach. I close my eyes and rest my head against the window pane I'm sat next time, swallowing thickly before opening them again. I drink in the sight of District 12 from the Justice Building's window. Compared to my old village, it's nothing special at all, and yet I know as soon as I'm on the train to the Capitol, I'll miss it dearly.

Alice is the first to visit me, accompanied by Frank, who says his goodbye first in order to let Alice and me have some privacy. He wraps his arms around me, and his scent of smoke and wood reminds me of home. This is our first and probably last hug, as we've never been extremely close, but it's comforting nonetheless. He pulls back and gives me a sad, crooked smile, his kind blue eyes saying goodbye for him. 'Look after Alice and your baby.' I tell him, and if he's surprised at my knowledge he doesn't show it.

'I promise.' He tells me genuinely, and I know for sure that I couldn't have asked for a better man to keep Alice and her baby loved and protected.

Alice's goodbye is urgent, and we're hugging for most of it, both taking deep shuddering breaths as I wish that we were in another world, one free of the Capitol and the slaughter I'm about to be shipped to. 'You can do this, I know you can.' She tells me, placing a kiss on my temple as she pulls back. 'You're brave, and strong- you could win this.' She tells me hopefully, her eyes full of tears as she struggles to remain composed.

'There are people braver and stronger out there, I'm sure-'

'Don't.' She cuts me off angrily, but I know by her face that she isn't actually bitter. 'Don't give up already Lily, don't give up at all. Promise me that.'

There's a pause as she grips my shoulders and stare at her face, taking it in and feeling my shoulders slumping. 'I promise.'

As the peacekeeper opens the door to see Alice out, She kisses me on the forehead and grips my shoulders, telling me she loves me.

'Look after that baby.' I tell her, placing a hand on her belly before she gives a sad smile and walks away from me.

I don't have much time to mourn until Tuney had arrived, to my surprise on her own.

'Guessing Vernon's sending me a postcard with his goodbye then.' I say lowly, and she looks slightly bitter as she walks urgently towards me.

'Shut up for a minute Lily.' She says simply, before pulling me into a hug and letting the room fill with silence. I'm too shocked to respond for a moment; it's been years since I've hugged my sister, let alone her hugging me. After a few moments though I wrap my arms around her too, my eyes blinking rapidly as I realise with shame that Alice's hug meant more to me than Tuney's does.

She seems to sense my unease, as she lets go and looks at me in the eyes. It's then I realise that there's so much unsaid, so much that has been neglected over the past few years, that now is my last chance to say it. And yet I can't. Because the girl standing before me isn't the careless, blonde haired 15 year old that she was that fateful night years ago. Her hair has darkened, her bright blue eyes conflicted.

But I still place the blame on her, which is why I can't face placing responsibility on her.

'Lily please say something.' She questions pleadingly, but seems afraid of what I'll say at the same time.

A moment's pause, and then- 'I need you to look after mum.'

Tuney nods adamantly. 'I will.'

'No, properly look after her.' I snap back, and she looks slightly startled. 'I don't mean brushing her hair between gallivanting about with Vernon, I mean look after her. Now that I'm gone she'll need you a lot, most hours of the day. You need to make sure you trade our materials with the people at the market, with the bakers- just keep our business running.'

'I told you, I will-'

'Make sure that she sleeps enough but not so long that she misses taking her medicine. Make sure that when she goes to bed she doesn't have too many blankets or she'll get too hot-'

'Lily-'

My voice is louder now, the anger I feel rushing to the surface and making my skin prickle uncomfortably as Tuney stares at me, apparently not knowing what to say. 'Cheer her up when she's sad, make sure she's in a fit state when someone visits her-'

'I love her too Lily, I know how to look after my own-'

'And for god's sake Tuney, do not become responsible for the death of another parent!'

My words cut across the room in a shout, and Tuney looks as if I've slapped her, her face becoming blotchy with anger as her eyes remain livid. I stand panting, not knowing if I should've said anything at all. Because this isn't the time for arguing, and yet it's the only way I'll ever tell her how I feel.

There's silence for a moment as Tuney looks at the floor, her expression calming slightly before she murmurs gruffly- 'You need to let it go.'

I let out a cry of disbelief, feeling on the verge of tears again. 'Let it go? I can't let my dad go Tuney, it's not that simple!'

'No, all this anger you have at me!' She shouts back at me, making me jump slightly. 'I get it okay? I as good as killed him and I'm so sorry, if I could take it back, if I could trade my own life for his I would okay?' Her words are rushed, tears rolling down her cheeks as her composure finally cracks. 'You can be mad at me Lily, but don't be mad at me now, there's too much at stake. You need to focus in there, you can't be worrying about mum at home, because I promise you, I'll look after her.'

There's silence once again as I stare at her, my eyes unblinking as I digest this. My head aches now, so I nod slowly. 'Okay.'

'Just-' She looks as if she's about to snap at me again, but she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, before opening them again and looking at me intently. She quickly steps forward, putting a cold hand on my cheek. Hours later, I'll wish that I'd hugged her, told her I was sorry. But I stay silent, watching as she blinks at me once, twice, before continuing. 'Just take care of yourself, okay?'

Moments later, and she too is gone.

Last of all, and barely audible, mum walks into the room.

For what it's worth, I'm able to make the first two steps to her without crying. By the third, however, my face is scrunched up, a sob escaping my throat as I envelope myself in her arms. To my surprise she's not as hysterical as she was earlier, obviously trying to keep her composure as she holds on to me tight. Nevertheless, her voice is thick with tears as she strokes my hair calmingly.

'You were so brave up there. So brave.' She tells me, and I whimper slightly before she pulls back, staying close but observing my face carefully with tear-filled eyes. 'And you can continue to be my dear.' She swipes her thumbs gently across my cheeks, catching the tears and reaching for a tissue to wipe across my face carefully. I'm barely able to control myself now, taking shuddering, messy breaths in order to try and quell the tears.

'Mum, I'm- I'm so-' I falter, my shoulders slumping as I look around the room in search of words. I say the first one that comes to me. 'Afraid. It sounds weak, I know but-'

'No.' She holds onto my shoulders tight then, and I suddenly see a light in her eyes that I haven't seen in a while. 'No. It sounds human. But these people Lily, these people that are forcing you to do this- the Capitol- are barely so. Remember that. You're not weak vs strong, you're good vs evil, keep that safe in your thoughts.' She tells me, and I sniffle slightly but stand up a bit straighter under her hold. 'I have faith that you can return home to me Lily, but you need to remember something. You are stronger than all of these people put together.'

I can hear footsteps now, coming back to take mum away. She hears them too and pulls me close, and I let out a helpless murmur of 'Mum' as I inhale her familiar scent deeply.

'No matter what happens Lily,' She says against my shoulder, 'I need you to have faith in that, don't let them change who you are. Be brave, sweetheart.'

The peacekeeper opens the door then, signalling that time is up.

'I love you mum.' I whisper in her ear so only she can hear. 'Stay safe.'

'Don't you worry about me Lily. Just try your best to come home to me.' She tells me, letting go and giving my hands a squeeze. I'll never forget the sad look in her eyes as she begins to walk away from me towards the door, her back towards the peacekeeper as she faces me. 'I love you. Remember that.'

And then the door has shut, and she's gone. I turn to look at the mirror over the mantelpiece, at my blotchy face and my defeated, red-rimmed eyes. With a deep breath, I channel all my energy to change that defeat to determination, and whisper my reply.

'I will.'

AN:

First of all, thank you so much to those that reviewed the first chapter! Honestly, every single one put a huge smile on my face, it means the world to me hearing your feedback. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter too, and that it wasn't too boring- I just really wanted to include some of Lily's background more, particularly her friends and family. The next chapter will be focused on James- don't worry, I haven't forgotten him :P

Please let me know what you think, either in a review or at my tumblr-wild-blessed-freedom! Thanks again for reading.