The Devil May Care

…

Summary: Rose & Lexi one-shot. "In a sea of faces, she'll always spot those mischievous eyes which overflow with laughter, that smile which almost reveals too much, that vivid blonde hair you could spot a mile away."

…

They meet up every few years or so, despite the fact Rose has an erratic travelling pattern to avoid detection. She'll hit a few cities before going back to hiding out in small villages and coastal towns, always convinced there are eyes following her (one set, specifically, cold and focused.)

She and Lexi always find each other somehow. In a sea of faces, she'll always spot those mischievous eyes which overflow with laughter, that smile which almost reveals too much, that vivid blonde hair you could spot a mile away. In that moment, she'll press a hand to her own mouth, as they fight back laughter just revisiting each other.

They embrace tightly, share a kiss on the cheek, laugh some more, and then wander off in search of blood, always careful to never prey on the innocent.

Sometimes their days are spent gazing at the stars, revelling in the peace, recreating the images of loved ones to resemble their own constellations; other days involve talking philosophy, arguing over the moral questions other men are afraid to ask, often reaching similar conclusions but in a roundabout way.

There's rarely a point to their conversations,

But it's a way of killing time, which is the very fabric their worlds are woven from.

…

"When will you settle down somewhere, stop yourself from running all the time?" Lexi enquires, an innocent enough question.

They lie amongst the grass, gazing up at the sky – a sharp blue in colour – their hands entwined, both wearing thoughtful expressions.

"When I have a reason to stop," Rose replies, her crimson lips mashing together to stop herself from giving the real answer.

I can never stop running, not even if I wanted to.

But she can dream. She dreams about returning home to England, finding her home town, recreating precious memories she uses now as ways to stop herself losing control (physically and emotionally). She remembers her baby sister, how beautiful she would've been as a grown woman. She remembers giving her the nickname Baby Blue because her eyes were a shade of blue unequivocal to anything else the universe had to offer.

She misses her. She misses her more than her father with the stern eyes but warm smile, or her mother, a woman wise beyond her years, or her grandfather, with his endless tales about an entirely different world she once dreamed about him taking her to.

"It seems a shame," Lexi muses, her tone dreamy, "to always be running, to never find a place to call home." She turns her head. "What's the point of living forever, of having the entire world at your feet, if all you're trying to do is outrun it all?"

"It's not through choice," Rose says grimly.

It's all she says on the matter.

It's all Lexi asks.

….

When Lexi announces she's found love, Rose notices her eyes shine like jewels.

There's a blush to her cheeks that never existed there before, a note to her laughter which somehow changes the whole composition, a twist to her smile reserved entirely for someone else.

She wishes she could find a way to lay her hands on such a treasure, but she'll never be able to stay, and she could never turn someone and condemn them to her life.

It says a lot about her friend that after she announces her news, she links her arms through hers, stating she's determined to find someone for her.

Rose could tell her the truth, could reveal she's been marked along with Trevor, and that bringing anyone else into the equation could overcomplicate matters. Honestly, she's not sure why she hasn't trusted Lexi with this pearl of information. Lexi has proved herself trustworthy over the years, more than earning the right to the best friend status, but Rose is still holding back, unwilling to quite reveal everything even to someone she would trust with her own life.

She knows the reason for all the secrecy.

Trusting her with a secret would make this real, would solidify this friendship, which means putting Lexi's life in danger. Just them having this conversation does something to her stress levels, increases her metaphorical heartbeat to dangerous levels.

But Lexi would insist taking risks is half the fun in life. She would insist true friendship could overcome any and all the odds. She would light a beacon of hope in an otherwise dark world because that's the kind of woman Lexi Branson is.

When she learns of Lexi's death, many years down the line, she can't bring herself to cry (though she wants to).

It's what she's expected because in this life you don't get something for nothing. It all gets taken from you one way or the other.

….

Lexi lets out a raucous laugh, which startles a flock of birds nearby.

Rose grins, smiling at her companion, amused by her laughter.

"I cannot believe you and Trevor travel in close proximity and yet you aren't even - "

"Don't go there," Rose warns humorously.

"I'm sorry," Lexi apologises immediately, backtracking a little, curbing her laughter into one bright smile. "I just find romance in everything. Stefan scolds me for it." She then has a sudden thought. "You should meet him. Stefan."

"Why?"

"He's handsome enough. Witty too, although he enjoys overindulging himself with sarcasm whenever I'm around. And his eyes..." She moans. "A girl could fall head over heels over those bad boys alone."

"Much like me," Rose comments. "From your accounts, I think it is safe to say Stefan is a good man. Noble, if not troubled. I couldn't tie someone like that down." She grins roguishly. "A bad boy, on the other hand..."

"Rose!"

She winks impishly, regretting nothing.

Some things she exaggerates for the sake of amusing Lexi, but on this occasion she tells no lies.

She couldn't bring a good man into her dark world, it would be too selfish of her to even try. What man would be willing to drop everything and run with her? None that possessed a grain of intelligence, that's for sure.

But still, a girl can dream.

And she does.

….

She leaves Lexi with the same note each and every time she leaves.

The Devil May Care ~

It's her signature, her way of telling her friend goodbye. Sometimes, she wonders if she has committed some atrocity in a past life to merit this life, a life where she's always running, a slave to the blood lust, doomed to taste but a drop of happiness before she has to put aside her hopes and dreams once again in order to pursue a life of running.

It gets to the point where even seeing Lexi becomes a pipe dream, something she thinks about often but knows might never happen.

The Devil May Care...

It's a saying associated with frivolity, of not giving a damn, of letting loose and just forgetting that part of humanity consists of caring.

It's ironic that those are the words she leaves Lexi with every time.

She never abides by them.

She can't.

….

Lexi thinks about Rose sometimes, wonders when they lost contact.

She misses her, but not like she's missing a lung, no they were never close enough for their absences to hurt like a severe injury. Rather, it's like missing a limb, one you never quite realised the importance of until it went, and you were left trying to carry on in its absence.

Actually, that does make it sound like she misses her too much.

She rarely acquires friends, though her bubbly personality attends to attract some genuinely lovely people (and the odd freak). Somehow the experience with Rose has taught her not to invest too much in people, except in the ones you love.

Rose never shared much of her life. She was private that way, and she'd always respected that, always kept the questions to a minimum (barring the teasing ones designed to provoke a reaction).

But curiosity had always been there, poking at her sides like a thorn. She'd wondered what had made Rose such a guarded individual, why she had to sneak away into the night like a thief every time they stayed somewhere together, why she never really got to meet Trevor except once (and that had been an accident).

Still, she relies on her annual trips to visit Stefan to keep her going. His progress astounds her, and he grows handsomer each time she visits.

She keeps thinking wistfully how Rose would've tamed the wild streak in Stefan she constantly has to keep in check (in case he becomes a ripper again). Rose was a no-nonsense sort, but with a softness that Lexi had always admired. She'd always walked the fine line between being stern and firm rather beautifully.

She never brings up Rose's name in conversation.

She figures if her friend wants to keep her air of mystery, then she has no right infringing on that desire.

Sometimes things stay hidden for a reason; sometimes people remain lost, merely a blip on human consciousness (well, vampire consciousness, if she's being technical) and are satisfied by that.

The Devil May Care (but I don't).

Fine words to live by, she thinks.

Except Rose never did.

….

Elena reminds her of Rose a little.

Both are stubborn, set in their ways, lost in the past, clinging to an ideal they are too afraid to reach for.

She reaches out to the girl, feeds her the advice she would've given to Rose had she known her friend was in need of that advice.

When it's real, you can't walk away.

She figured that can apply to their (brief) friendship too.

Except Rose walked away – and never came back - so what does that say about them exactly?

….

"Maybe I'll see Trevor too," she says wistfully, staring out at the beauty surrounding her.

"I think you will see whoever you want to see," comes the wise voice of Damon.

Curled against his sturdy frame, Rose smiles at that.

Maybe she'll see Lexi again. Maybe she'll get to explain.

She walked away because she had to. She chose to stay away because rumours had drifted her way that the Originals were close by. She ran to protect herself, to protect everyone who could've been connected to her – though, strictly speaking, her only crime is being loyalty to someone who let their heart rule their head.

It sounds like excuses tumbling from her mind, but if she tries to break it down any further, tries to find all the ways she screwed up over the years by cutting ties which could've brought her the happiness her life has severely lacked, then she'll surely break. Her ignorance has been her strength; it's easier to forget what you don't miss.

Except she has missed it. So much.

She'd tried to find Lexi again once. She'd found her at a Bon Jovi concert, screaming and waving her arms next to a young man with a squarish jaw, and dark eyes that spoke of freedom, a man she now knows to be Stefan.

Lexi had been right. He was handsome, his eyes merely the cherry on top of a very delicious looking cake.

Still off limits though, she'd thought.

Lexi had looked free. She'd looked happy, her wild screams of joy (and the odd erratic note to her voice) indicating a certain amount of alcohol had been consumed beforehand.

Rose hadn't wanted to intrude on her moment, but she'd absorbed the sight of her friend, smiling tightly before walking away.

Maybe she shouldn't try and forge things she can't keep. It only breaks her heart when she has to leave them (through no fault of her own).

She's reminded of this when Damon challenges her to a race. She smiles, adoring how he presents one façade to the world, another to her (and only her; not even Elena sees this side to him, though she should). He trusts her, and she cares for him deeply (fatal mistake), and (accidentally) took the fate meant for him, which has lead them to here, to this moment.

When he disappears, she ought to feel devastated, but when she turns, exactly where Damon was, there lies Lexi, sprawled on the grass, her hair fanned out around her like a halo.

"Lexi?"

"Well, look who it is." Lexi sits up, her eyes twinkling, though her mouth is pressed into a hard line. "Long time no see."

"I - "

"This time you're not leaving without a goodbye," she growls, pushing herself to her feet. "You're stuck with me this time."

"I was many things with you, Lexi. Stuck was never one of them."

"Well, now you're gonna be. Payback's a bitch. You leave me, I spend the rest of eternity kicking your ass." Lexi gives her a meaningful stare. "Friends don't turn their backs on other friends."

"They do when they have to," Rose responds sadly.

"I'm going to let that go – for now because I have one other decision to interrogate you about. It's nothing... just a small point I'm curious about." She pauses for dramatic effect (she forgets that's something she likes doing). "Damon...Seriously?"

"Always had a thing for bad boys, Lexi," is all Rose says, smiling ambiguously. "Particularly those who try and pretend they don't have a heart. Makes me feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds."

Lexi smiles, shaking her head, linking her arm through hers as they start to walk forwards (no direction in mind).

"So... another question. I'm genuinely curious... Damon and Elena, or Stefan and Elena?"

"I'm rooting for Damon and Elena. All. The. Way."

"There I must disagree with you. I'm rooting for my boy."

"You would."

"Oh, and I kind of like that they can last through anything."

"Yes, but with Damon there's so much passion. Every woman needs passion in their life, and those that say otherwise are kidding themselves."

"Passion fizzles out. Love lasts."

Rose shakes her head, determined to stick to her guns, but smiles anyway.

This feels like the old days; arguing about problems that aren't even theirs, while simultaneously cementing the bond between them.

She can't even remember how she and Lexi first met. She imagines they struck up an innocent conversation somewhere, some sort of spark igniting (not the romantic kind) and then inadvertently decided in that moment to strike up a cordial friendship, cemented both by their experiences and their mutual philosophies regarding life.

Trying to pinpoint the exact moment when she and Lexi decided to be friends is like trying to pinpoint the exact moment the word friendship was coined. Their connection has just always been there, and she knew she'd meet Lexi again in some shape or form, the same way she's sure Lexi knew each and every one of her goodbyes was never permanent.

Nothing in life ever is, which is why it's best to make the most of it while it's still there.