Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN.

Ask anyone, and they'll tell you, that Gokudera Hayato hates every person on the planet who isn't Sawada Tsunayoshi. "Well, it's not true," some will say, "he only hates every person on the planet that is older than him. And Lambo." Now, ask Yamamoto Takeshi, and he will tell you the whole truth.

See, like with everyone else, there are things, which Gokudera absolutely hates, and things he quite likes, but people can't really tell which is which by Gokudera's behavior.

For example, even though Gokudera likes Yamamoto and hates baseball, he yells at Yamamoto every five minutes, but comes to watch all of his baseball games. Complicated, huh? There's more. Like, Gokudera loves compliments about his brains, but not about his looks. Apparently, for some unfathomable reason, Gokudera doesn't want to be considered cute, but takes pride in teaching Yamamoto words like unfathomable.

Gokudera not only does confusing things, but also has a weird understanding of the things he says. For example, under no condition. "Under no condition will we call each other something other than our last names," he says. So why is Yamamoto not allowed to call him Hayato under no condition, but Gokudera can call him yakyuu baka all the time?

Still, it gets worse. When Gokudera says stop, he either means stop or go on, and it's a gamble every time, so Yamamoto has equal chances of scoring and of getting hit in the head, for either stopping when he was not supposed to, or not stopping when he was supposed to.

If Yamamoto was to believe everything Gokudera tells him, he would have to take him to a shrink or a police station at some point. Because, as far as Yamamoto knows, a normal person just does not "like seeing stupid, overly friendly, ugly bitches cry when their bags explode."

And Gokudera has some really weird hobbies, like these UMA's of his, and stalking Tsuna. And breaking up with Yamamoto. Or is it a sport now? Why does Gokudera do it so often is beyond Yamamoto, but he doesn't mind it that much, because somehow he knows it's never for real. And there's always the make-up sex. Oh, the make-up sex...

Right, the sex. Yamamoto isn't sure, whether Gokudera bottoming is the only real sign of his honesty, or an ultimate facade. After all, that boy has pride the size of the Pacific Ocean! But he also has the most sensitive body making the sexiest noises, so Yamamoto can never keep his mind clear long enough to come to a conclusion. And he'd never dare to ask. Because that would be the definition of pushing your luck. Even Yamamoto knows that.

So you may start to wonder. How come, despite being yelled at, lied to, physically abused, and generally mistreated in every possible way, is Yamamoto happy being with Gokudera?

"Yamamoto is just a classic case of a masochist," you say. On the contrary, Yamamoto's got a sadistic streak in him. Why else would he endanger his health, just to see Gokudera blush and stutter for mere seconds before reaching for dynamite?

"Maybe he just likes tsundere type," you say. But Yamamoto likes tsundere type because that's how Gokudera is, and not the other way round. And he wouldn't like Gokudera any less, if he suddenly started to honestly express his feelings. Or any more, for that matter.

"He's an idiot, then!" Yes, that's right! Yamamoto is just an idiot, and that's all there is to it.

It's not so much YamaGoku as about YamaGoku, and basically my tribute to Gokudera's awesomeness and Yamamoto's... yamamotness... Hope you liked it, let me know what you think! :)