Wilson felt a moment of sadness as he looked at Duncan. The boy really did look a lot like him, and he was everything a father could want in a son, confident but polite and respectful, well spoken and neatly dressed, considerate of the feelings of a stranger he'd only just met. He was perfect.

Too perfect.

"How much is House paying you?" Wilson asked, just as Duncan had taken a bite of his burger.

To give the boy his due his eyes only widened fractionally and he kept chewing his mouthful. By the time he'd finished his expression was again open and welcoming.

"What do you mean?"

Wilson took a fifty out of his wallet and laid it on the table without saying anything. Duncan's eyes flicked to it but he still stared at Wilson impassively.

"I don't understand, Dad. Is something the matter?"

Wilson sighed and crossed his arms. "I'll double whatever he's paying you."

Duncan smiled and grabbed the money off the table. "Sounds good to me, but I'll have to check with my Mom, she's my agent." He looked towards a table in the corner where a well dressed woman sat reading a newspaper. He looked back to Wilson and grinned. "He said you might get mad, but you're not are you?"

Wilson smiled slightly. "I don't get mad. I get even."

"He told me he loved me." Wilson said as House came up next to him in the clinic. "After we made pizza together."

"How sweet. When are you getting married?"

"He's a great boy, I'm so glad you told me about him. I should be mad at you for concealing it all these years, but I'm just so happy he's come into my life."

House looked a little uneasy. "Well, don't get used to it. You know you always screw relationships up. He won't be enough for you, and before you know it you'll be looking for stray puppies in the pound and dumping him."

Wilson smiled and shook his head. "No, this is different. He's not some girlfriend. He's my son. He's so much like me, we like the same things, he's smart and great company. I enjoy being with him. I didn't realise how much I was missing in my life until I met Duncan."

House pulled a face, "don't even think about bringing the brat tonight, video games aren't for kids."

"Wilson rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged apologetically, "sorry House, I'll have to cancel. Duncan and I have plans. We're going to catch a movie and then go bowling."

House's eyes widened. "But that's not what... " He quickly shut his mouth and pulled out his phone, stalking off. Wilson grinned after him.

"Duncan is going to move in with me," Wilson told House as the latter burst into his office a few days later. "Beth is going to Costa Rica to rescue birds of prey and Duncan doesn't want to go. So Beth said it would be okay if he stayed with me for a while, maybe permanently."

House narrowed his eyes at him. "And you're okay with that?"

"Okay? I'm great. I lovethis kid, House. I couldn't be happier. I've ordered some things for him, there's not much at my place for a kid, and I've already started remodelling your old bedroom for him. It's going to be great having him there. And I owe it all to you. i always thought maybe I wasn't cut out to be a father but I'm great with Duncan. Thank you, House."

House looked at him, his mouth open slightly, his eyes wide. "You want him to live with you?"

"Of course, he's my son, why wouldn't I want him to live with me? We have eleven years to catch up on. Of course I may not be able to spend as much time with you but it's important I build a good relationship with Duncan. He's only been in my life for a few days but I already don't know what I'd do without him."

House limped to the sofa in his office and sat down heavily. "Look, Wilson. I need to tell you something."

"Can it wait? I have painters coming. Going to get the bedroom painted purple for him, apparently he likes the colour. Then I need to see if I can find a better school for him, get him added to my insurance... "

House got up and went to the door, pulling it open with a worried look on his face. Duncan was waiting outside on the seat. The neat and tidy smart casual clothes and nerdish hairstyle were gone, and instead he'd reverted to typical teenage grunge.

House ushered the boy in, taking a large envelope Duncan had been carrying and holding it out to Wilson.

"He's not your son," House said, his eyes locked on Wilson.

Wilson put his hands on his hips and smiled tolerantly at House. "Look, I know you might be threatened by Duncan's existence, but you only have to look at him to see he's my son. He loves me, and I love him, and you just have to accept that."

"He's an actor!" House shouted. "I hired him to play your son. You were supposed to realise what a lousy father you'd be, not turn into Ward Cleaver."

"I know," Wilson said, letting House off the hook.

"You...you know?" House said, his eyes shooting from a grinning 'Duncan' to Wilson. "How... "

Wilson took a bill out of his wallet and handed it to the kid, he'd been great, he deserved a tip. "Thanks, Wendal. Hope that pilot works out for you."

Wendal took the money and tucked it away. On his way out the door he turned to House.

"Told you he'd work it out. You need a better scriptwriter, those lines were lame, man. Goat's cheese, on a pizza! Everyone knows kids like peanut butter." He went out the door, shaking his head.

"You bastard!" House said, pointing his cane at Wilson. "You lying, sneaking, double crossing bastard!"

"I'm the bastard?" Wilson asked, pushing the cane aside. " You're the maniac who hired an actor to play my son. What the hell were you thinking that was going to achieve?"

"You wanted a kid, I just wanted to show you that you weren't cut out to be a father. You can't keep a relationship with a normal person."

Wilson felt a pang of sympathy for his friend. His voice softened, "you're not, 'not normal', House, you're just off the bell curve a little. Don't worry, my 'need to be needed' hasn't gone away yet, I don't think it ever will, but, I'm not looking for a kid."

"You said... "

"I briefly wondered what it would be like, what I was missing." Wilson threw his hands up in the air. "You're the one that decided to make a federal case out of it. It was just a passing thought, a moment's regret. I don't want a kid, not now, probably not ever. But House, if I did," Wilson fixed House with a stare, "If I did, that would be mychoice, not yours." He picked up his coat and case. He opened the door and looked at House, still standing silently, hunched over his cane, and looking uncharacteristically at a loss for words. "You coming for dinner? We'll make pizzas."

House brightened, and followed Wilson out the door. Wilson looked back at him, "just for the record, House, I'd make a great Dad."

"Just as long as I don't have to be Uncle Greg," House groused. "How did you know anyway?"

"I'm not Taub, I used triple strength condoms. Beth wasn't pregnant."

House looked startled for a moment and then laughed. "You could have saved us both a boatload of money by just telling me that at the beginning."

Wilson smiled. "I could have, but that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun."