Epilogue

Pain. So much pain. It reached through the enveloping blackness and grabbed a hold of his mind, refusing to relinquish its grasp. The comforting darkness shattered, he slowly floated toward consciousness, the pain only increasing as his brain became aware of his body. Everything hurt and felt so heavy, and he could not even summon the strength to open his eyes. A brief surge of panic raced through his veins as he tried to make sense of his condition, still groggy from sleep. And then suddenly, he knew.

Chaos.

All at once the memories came rushing back, and Vincent found himself hoping he was dead. Perhaps that was why he was so cold and could not move. Maybe this was the pain of death finally come to take him, to remove such a foul being from the face of the Planet once and for all. It was preferable to going on after what he had done…

His hopes were quickly dashed as he continued to awaken, his heightened senses coming to life as his mind continued to clear. He was lying somewhere cramped but fairly comfortable, something warm and soft covering him from just below his neck. At first his mind was a blank, but slowly the pieces fell into place. He vaguely recalled Lucrecia helping him to the couch before he passed out, amazed at her strength and bravery. And stupidity. She had put herself in such danger, and every second was his fault. At least by now she was gone, and it would never happen again. He had finally lost control… and lost Lucrecia for good.

It was dark in the room, but there was a small light burning at the far end of the couch. His bare feet were propped up on something warm, and there was a gentle weight pressing down against them. It was odd, but his tired mind couldn't make sense of it through the haze of pain and anguish. There was a quiet scratching sound every now and then only someone with his sensitive ears would have noticed, and he cursed Hojo yet again for his alterations.

Now I have only the rats left for company…

The sharp stab of pain in Vincent's chest had nothing to do with his long battle with Chaos, and he longed to rise to his knees and howl with despair. Lucrecia had returned to his life only to be taken away again. No, to be chased away, frightened away… How could he ever have expected her to be able to accept him? He had been a fool, blinded by a desperate hope fueled by his love for her. Every moment in his presence was a danger, just as Hojo intended. No one could ever love him again. Lucrecia had tried her best, tried so hard, and he would not blame her for leaving. At least this time she had been his and his alone, and she had known exactly how he felt. The past two months had been the happiest of his life. He would cherish those memories and take them to his grave, safe in his heart forever. Hopefully, that would be soon…

Vincent was considering opening his eyes when whatever it was his feet were resting on shifted slightly. He frowned, somewhat relieved to realized that he could at least move his facial muscles. His instincts flaring to life, he cautiously cracked open one eye but made no other movement. What he saw made no sense at first, his vision blurry and his brain still slow to process, but when the fog finally cleared he was so shocked it took all of his self-control to remain still.

Lucrecia. His Lucrecia. No, not any more…

Then why was she sitting at the end of the couch with his feet in her lap as if it was the most normal of things to be doing? She had a notebook balanced on top of the blanket covering him, a pen held in her left hand and a look of intense concentration on her face. Gods he loved that look…

Vincent remained completely still and watched her with half-lidded eyes, instantly warmed by his love for her. She was so beautiful when she was deep in thought, her glasses sliding down her nose as she pursed her lips and studied the page in front of her. She cocked her head ever so slightly, several soft strands of hair trailing into her face. He longed to reach out and brush them away, to place his hand beneath her chin and turn her face his way. But he no longer deserved her attention, if indeed he ever had. Lucrecia briefly raised the pen to her lips, holding it there but not chewing on it. Then her green eyes lit up and she lowered pen to paper, creating the scratching sound he'd heard before as she hastily scrawled something in the sloppy handwriting Vincent had always struggled to read.

It was amazing how watching such a simple act could make him want her so badly, need to reach out and crush her against him in a possessive embrace. But he quickly pushed those thoughts away, the memories of what she had seen reminding him that that part of his life was over. He had been given a second chance, and the door had been slammed shut in his face by his own twisted hand. Lucrecia had finally seen him for the monster he was, and worse still, he had laid his hands upon her. He had always sworn to her that was something he would never do. It was part of what set him apart from Hojo. She could always feel safe with him, trust him not to hurt her… and that promise had been shattered like so much broken glass. He was no better than the man she had fled…

As tempting as it was to go back to sleep, his entire body exhausted and on fire with pain, Vincent knew he would never find rest until that question was answered. He was terrified of what she might say even though he already knew he had destroyed their relationship, but to hear it from her lips would be devastating. She had denied it the night before, but he knew it was because he was suffering and she did not wish to be cruel. She was so kind, so good to him… she deserved so much better. He hoped she would finally find someone who would treat her like the amazing, wonderful woman she was. The agony he felt at the very idea of his Lucrecia in the arms of another man was nearly unbearable, and he could not help but groan aloud.

Lucrecia gasped, almost dropping her pen as her head jerked in his direction. Her eyes widened in surprise, but a moment later a soft smile graced her lips. Vincent could only stare at her, wondering what there was to be happy about. She reached up to push her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose, setting the pen down in her lap and softly running one hand along the blanket covering his legs. Even such light, indirect contact had an instant effect upon him because it came from her.

"Hey," she said softly, still sharing that soft, shy smile that had the power to break through all of his defenses as if they did not exist. "I'm so glad you're awake."

Vincent allowed himself to meet her eyes, swallowing hard against the rush of emotions racing through his veins. This was going to be so hard… He loved her so deeply, with everything he was, but he was going to let her go for exactly that reason. He would not fight or plead with her to stay. He wanted her to be safe, happy… and he could not give her that. He found he could not speak, staring at her helplessly and wishing he could hold her one last time. But it wouldn't be right. He closed his eyes and tried to push down his desires, and when he opened them again he found Lucrecia frowning with concern.

"You slept a long time… It's nearly ten at night now, and you fell asleep around five this morning. How do you feel?" she asked. One delicate hand had come to rest on his calf, gripping it nervously as she spoke… or perhaps to help focus his attention.

Vincent tried to speak, but all that came out was a strangled gasp. He focused all of his energy and cleared his throat before trying again, and this time he managed a rasping whisper. "Like hell."

Lucrecia's frown deepened, and he swore there were tears shining in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby…"

Now Vincent frowned, confused and almost angry. Why was she toying with him like this? He had accepted that she was going to leave. He would always love her, but he didn't think it proper that she continue to call him that. She was the only one who had ever used such a name for him, the only woman to ever know him that way. It brought up so many intimate memories that the word tore at his soul the way Hojo had once torn apart his body. He grit his teeth, his hand and claw tightening into fists. She turned away from his harsh expression as if unsure of what she'd done wrong, gripping her notepad tightly against her body. Vincent focused his eyes upon it, desperate for a distraction.

"What is that?" he asked, his voice still rough but stronger than before.

Lucrecia went still, slowly lowering the notepad to rest against his legs in her lap. She took a deep breath as if gathering her courage, but when she turned back to him that same wonderful smile lit up her face.

"I'm making a list of people to invite to our wedding."

"….."

Vincent was thunderstruck, blinking rapidly as he stared at the only woman he had ever loved. The smile he adored touched her emerald eyes and made them sparkle, and he had never seen anyone look so utterly happy in his life. Gods, she was serious… but how? She had witnessed him fighting the transformation, watched as Chaos' wings burst forth from his back and seen him crawl across the floor weak and defeated, moaning and trembling like a child. He had yelled at her, shoved her… Lucrecia had only further proven that she was far too good for him by remaining by his side and taking care of him until he fell asleep, and she even stayed while he slept. And now… No, this couldn't be.

"Vincent…?"

Lucrecia's voice was soft and timid, her smile having faded into an expression of concern. Vincent swallowed hard and fought to find his voice, though he still had no idea what to say. But his lover clearly needed him to respond, chewing on her bottom lip and beginning to fidget. He would not leave her to suffer in silence.

"I… I don't understand."

"We've been engaged since the day after I got here," Lucrecia said, setting the pen and pad down on the arm of the couch and beginning to wring her hands atop his legs. She stared down at them, the joy in her eyes replaced by worry. The guilt hit him hard, and he wished he felt able to sit up and wrap his arms around her.

"Yes…" he agreed. He'd never quite gotten over the shock of hearing her say yes when he finally got the chance to ask her to marry him. His eyes fixed upon the ring on her left index finger, one he had carried with him for over three decades. The sight of it on her hand made his chest grow tight. How could he ever let her go?

"I know it's only been a few months, but we've known each other a very long time. I don't want to waste any more time, Vincent," Lucrecia said, pausing and lifting her head to offer him a shy smile he could feel in his toes. "I… I want to be your wife as soon as possible."

"Lucrecia…"

Vincent struggled to pull his tired and aching body up from the cushions, carefully removing his long legs from Lucrecia's lap. He grit his teeth against the pain as he finally managed to sit after much effort, waving away his lover's attempts to aid him. He leaned heavily against the back of the couch, left breathless and hurting in every cell of his being. Once he was upright, he closed his eyes and focused on calming his body, determined to remain that way. Even though he could no longer see it, he felt the world around him continue to spin as he fought a wave of nausea. He was relieved that Chaos was silent inside his mind, sated for the moment even though he had not been allowed his release. Perhaps the long battle and chance to make him suffer had been enjoyment enough for the demon. Vincent knew the peace would not last, but for now the creature was blessedly far beneath the surface.

He could feel Lucrecia's eyes upon him as he rested against the back of the couch, but couldn't bring himself to look at her. He shivered, suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he was shirtless. He raised his arms and wrapped them around himself, the blanket tucked around his lower body. Even when he was not struggling against the demon, when he was 'normal,' he felt so disfigured, so ugly, that it killed him for her to look at him. She was beautiful, so perfect. How could she gaze upon the horrific scars carved into his unnaturally pale flesh and see anything but a hideous freak? How could she still want him? When she laid her head upon his chest, did she not hear how seldom he breathed, and the slow, inhuman beating of his heart? When she caressed him, did she not notice the coolness of his skin and the distinctive feel of so many disfigurements?

Vincent stared down at the clawed prosthetic that had replaced his left forearm and hand, his vision blurring. The scent of blood assaulted his senses, the warmth of the cushions against his back warping into the cold metal of an operating table. The roar of a surgical saw… familiar mocking laughter… blinding white agony… Vincent reached out with his right hand and gripped the place where metal joined flesh, moaning quietly as his eyes lost their focused. His entire body began to tremble, his mind locked over thirty years in the past.

"Here, baby… I know you're hurting."

Vincent jumped, jolted from his vision by Lucrecia's voice. He blinked rapidly and lifted his head, finding her standing before him with a bottle of water in one hand and two round white pills in the other. When had she gotten up? He frowned, disgusted with himself for his weakness. Sometimes the strange waking nightmares were worse than the ones that haunted his dreams... He slowly released his grip on his left forearm, still able to feel a burning below the point of amputation. It was less intense now but there all the same, as if the mockery of a limb could somehow still feel. Vincent swallowed hard as Lucrecia sat down beside him, closer than he felt comfortable with. He accepted the pills without question, in too much pain to resist. He needed to be able to think clearly enough to deal with the situation. She removed the cap from the bottle of water for him, and Vincent suddenly realized just how thirsty he was. He practically grabbed it from her small hands and washed down the pills with the entire thing, barely stopping to breathe.

"Thank you," he said, handing back the empty bottle for her to set on the coffee table. He did not know why she insisted on continuing to care for him. He shivered, attempting to pull the blanket up to cover his chest. He saw Lucrecia's eyes fall upon him and lowered his eyes in shame.

"Are you cold?" she asked, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on his bare shoulder. Vincent tensed, her touch burning into his flesh. It warmed him to the core, but he dared not let himself enjoy it.

"A bit," he said. It was not entirely a lie, though he rarely experienced physical cold. The chill he felt came from inside, and he did not know if anything could ever chase it away again.

"Here… I brought you a shirt in case you wanted it when you woke up," Lucrecia said, leaning forward to retrieve a folded gray garment from the coffee table. "I know how much you don't like to be…" She frowned, her cheeks coloring red as she stopped in mid sentence and sighed quietly. "I wish you could see yourself the way I do."

Vincent stared at her wordlessly as he accepted the long-sleeved shirt, quickly slipping it over his head. The left sleeve had been neatly slit up the inside past the elbow to accommodate his prosthetic, and he instantly felt more secure with his body covered. "I know how I look, Lucrecia," he said flatly, reaching up with his right hand to brush his hair out of his eyes as he leaned back against the cushions. "I know what I am."

He watched as tears filled her captivating emerald eyes, his insides twisted with guilt as he fought the strong urge to reach out and comfort her. She wouldn't want that from him, though, not any more. He had hurt her and given up his right to touch her. His eyes followed the tears as they began to fall from her eyes, his heart nearly ripped in two when she choked back a sob.

"But you're wrong, Vincent… so very wrong," she nearly whispered, shoving the blanket onto the floor to remove the barrier between them. To his complete surprise, she moved closer until her body was pressed against his side. He froze, his eyes meeting hers and holding a question. He felt his heart rate increase as his body responded to her presence, a precious gift she had given him with her return. When he'd stepped out of his coffin in Nibelheim, he had never thought he could feel again, his body as dead as his heart. But she had shown him otherwise, perhaps a little too well.

He almost forgot to breathe as she reached out and tenderly ran her hand along his cheek. His eyes lolled closed as he involuntarily leaned into her touch. He had always been helpless against her affections, melting in her hands for her to do with as she wished. It made it so easy to forget his troubles, to simply be with her and enjoy how much he loved her. They had done so for much of their relationship, both past and present, avoiding their pain while tangled up in each other's intimate embrace. So tempting…

"Vincent, please say something…"

He slowly opened his eyes and met hers. In that moment he felt as if everything else ceased to exist, leaving only the two of them. There was such love and devotion in her eyes, acceptance and need… all of it directed at him. It was nearly overwhelming, and he knew his own feelings were just as clear and honest. Lucrecia's hand against his cheek helped to keep him grounded, and his desire to reach out to her only grew stronger.

"I… how can you still want to go through with it?" he finally managed to ask, his voice little more than a whisper. It hurt so badly to ask, but he knew he had to.

Lucrecia looked puzzled for a moment, then suddenly realized what he meant. She leaned forward until her forehead was resting against his, and Vincent's breath caught in his throat. This was torture. "Because I love you, baby… and us getting married is long overdue. Don't… don't you still want to?"

She leaned back so she could look into his eyes, lifting her other hand to frame his face. Vincent's emotions raced through his battered and exhausted body, volatile and confused. He had been so sure she was going to leave… so certain he had finally destroyed what they had and lost her forever. Yet there she was, touching him, caring for him, and pledging her love. Forever. It made no sense to his tired mind and he moaned against the pain. The pills had eased the worse of the ache in his bones, but the torment in his mind remained as sharp as the instruments that had scarred his body.

"I… yes, but…" He sighed heavily, his eyes searching hers for some trace of fear or revulsion. Nothing. "You saw… I…"

He couldn't go on, unable to speak the words. It was too painful, too humiliating. She had actually seen him with wings for gods' sake, not to mention the way he'd acted. He would never forgive himself for how he'd spoken to her, and the memory of shoving her to the floor would live in his mind forever. One more sin to stain his blackened soul…

"Vincent, it's all right," she said softly, moving one of her hands to softly brush back some of his hair. He assumed it must have been a mess and wished for his bandana or even a hair tie. "You did warn me, but I wanted to be there for you. You were so strong to be able to fight Chaos the way you did, and you won. I'm proud of you, baby. So proud… You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of."

Vincent's eyes widened, and he jerked his face away from her touch. "How can you say that?!" he exclaimed, his voice rough as he stared at her in disbelief. "I'm a freak, Lucrecia. A monster! You went to bed feeling safe with me, and you woke up beside a demon!"

"Shhh, it's okay," she tried to soothe him, reaching out as he shifted farther across the couch to avoid her. "You are not a-"

"It is not safe for you here," he interrupted, holding up a hand to stop her. "I hurt you, Lucrecia… I put my hands on you in anger. I am no better than Hojo."

"NO! Don't you ever say that again!" Lucrecia exclaimed, throwing herself into his arms so suddenly that Vincent didn't have time to react. The contact was nearly violent with its desperation, full of need and raw emotion. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his neck, trembling as she burst into tears. Stunned, he closed his eyes and slowly raised his right arm to her back, lightly resting it against her as she cried. "You're nothing like him, Vincent," she whispered, her breath warm against his skin. "Nothing…"

Vincent was unsure of what to do as she clung to him, gradually allowing himself to tighten his embrace and hold her closer. She had initiated the contact, after all. He gently ran his hand along her back, doing his best to comfort her. When she eventually raised her head and sniffed away the last of her tears, she brought her face close to his and nuzzled against his cheek, setting his heart aflame. He was unable to help but give in to a quiet sigh of contentment, though he instantly felt guilty for the indulgence.

"You can't stay here," he whispered, going against every wish of his mind and body. Even as he spoke the words, he brought his natural hand up to run through her hair, coming to rest at the base of her neck. He felt her shiver and tried his best to ignore it. "I cannot risk hurting you again. I came far too close…"

"You would never hurt me," she insisted, placing one hand over his heart as she leaned in and softly kissed his lips. It took all of Vincent self-control not to pull her closer and deepen the kiss, tempted to forget all about nightmares and demons. "I'm fine, baby. You were strong enough to fight it… and even when I met Chaos he didn't hurt me, remember?"

Vincent forced himself to put a bit of distance between them so he could think more clearly, though he kept his hand on her shoulder as if frightened she might go too far. He was no longer quite so certain he could watch her walk away. "I hardly feel comfortable relying on that. This is not right. You… you should have so much better than this. I cannot give you the life you deserve." He was suddenly very aware of their damp, dusty basement dwelling, ashamed that he had not tried harder, done more…

"Vincent, you are giving me the life I want. Because what I want is you."

'You didn't even want me when I was normal!'

Vincent stared at her wordlessly as his tormented words came rushing back, shouted at the one he loved in a moment of misery and weakness. His deepest pain, an intense fear and… yes, anger that had burned inside him like a poison for over three decades. The thing he had fought so hard to hold back and deny for so long, finally bursting forth in one moment of despair. He instantly felt nauseous and revolted, lowering his eyes and struggling to breathe. His vision blurred as his mind was rocketed back to the night Lucrecia told him she'd decided she couldn't leave with him after all… that she'd decided to remain with Hojo and go through with the completion of the experiment. She said she loved him deeply, but her decision was final… and with it, she had chosen death.

Vincent leaned forward and took his face in his hands, trembling violently as the memories assaulted him. It was so sudden, so powerful, that he was left completely vulnerable to the rush of emotions, his wounded heart exposed. A loud ringing filled his ears and he closed his eyes against the pain, hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he recalled the night she died with startling clarity. He saw himself sitting at the table in his room, methodically loading his duty weapon in the moonlight. One was meant for Hojo, another for himself… but he never got the chance to fire his weapon. His grief, his rage, had been all-consuming, and all of his training as a Turk had failed him. Outmaneuvered by a nearsighted scientist, failed to keep his promise to protect Lucrecia's son, sentenced to be tortured and twisted into a vile monstrosity.

He was vaguely aware of Lucrecia's arms wrapping around his trembling form, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. He normally would have been embarrassed by the open display of emotion, but he was past caring. As the images ran through his mind again and again, he felt something begin to build inside him, an unbearable pressure in the core of his being. It was different from the guilt and despair that had become a part of his identity, a burning deep in his gut like an acid eating away at him until there was nothing else left. And it had been there for a very long time…

Vincent lowered his hands, the tears nearly dried on his pale cheeks as he turned his head to face Lucrecia. She had been crying, too, her green eyes full of sorrow and compassion. She reached out and touched his cheek, but this time it brought him no pleasure. He closed his eyes and frowned, a knife in his heart as he forced himself to ask the question that had silently plagued him for over thirty years.

"How could you do that to me…?"

He almost didn't recognize his own voice, hearing the pain, resentment, and anger in his tone for the first time. He had always denied those feelings, refusing to believe they existed. He could never be angry at Lucrecia! She had done no wrong. She had been a victim of Hojo, and of his failure to protect her. She should hate him, but she continued to pledge her love. Yet in the past, when given a choice between he and another… a choice that would have saved her, given Sephiroth a chance at a normal life, and preserved his very humanity… she had turned him away. Vincent grit his teeth, the familiar presence of Chaos brushing against his thoughts. Yes, he was angry, and maybe… maybe he ought to be…

Lucrecia's eyes locked onto his, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. But she did not look away, taking a deep breath and steeling herself against his bitter words. He could see how much they hurt her, cursing himself and wishing even more suffering upon his soul. He could never repent for everything he had done to her, and even now he continued to bring her pain. The agony he had endured resisting the last transformation did not even come close to helping him atone. What right did he have, then, to be angry? He had only gotten what he deserved…

Vincent hung his head and pulled away from her, retreating to the farthest end of the couch. He was ashamed of his words, yet frightened by the truth behind them. He couldn't face the things he saw in Lucrecia's eyes, and he certainly did not deserve her touch or comfort. "I'm sorry," he whispered, wishing he could take those words back and shove them far down again where they couldn't hurt her. They should have remained his burden alone. "I didn't mean-"

"No, wait! I'm… I'm so glad to hear you say that."

"… what?"

He glanced up at her through the curtain of his bangs, his arms crossed over his chest as if to guard his heart. A sad smile graced her lips, her eyes seeking out his. So many emotions passed between them, so much love and pain, enough to fill a lifetime. He tried to look away but couldn't.

"You've never… expressed any anger toward me about what I did to you, Vincent. I knew it had to be there, but you didn't want me to know… or maybe you were hiding it even from your self."

"No! I'm not angry with you!" he protested, his heart in his throat. Panic rose within him and he felt trapped within her gaze, his eyes darting about wildly. He hugged himself more tightly, pressing his spine painfully into the arm of the couch. He wished to be anywhere else on the Planet, but he was cornered. "I could never be-"

"Baby, it's okay," she said, her expression tearful yet understanding. "You should be mad at me! I think being able to finally express that is a big step…"

Vincent remained tense but slowly brought his eyes back to hers, trying to breathe evenly.

"Then… then why?" he whispered, feeling like a frightened child. Part of him longed for the warmth of her body even as the acid remained in the pit of his stomach, the memory of her back as she walked out his door flashing through his mind. Their illicit relationship had endured and his love for her had not changed, but the pain of her rejection was ever present. As Vincent gazed into her eyes, he felt it as strongly as he had thirty years before. He closed his eyes as if to shut it out, shivering and allowing his hair to form a shield of black around his face.

"I've tried to explain before, but you didn't believe me," Lucrecia said, he voice gentle but firm. She made no move to approach him, and he was not sure if he was grateful or worried. "The reason I… chose not to leave with you had nothing to do with you, Vincent, or anything you did or didn't do. It wasn't because you weren't good enough, or because I didn't love you enough, or because of any of those things you keep telling yourself. You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened, because none of it was your fault. You're right to be angry… I couldn't go through with it because of me."

Vincent shook his head, having heard her speak the same words the night she'd suddenly arrived in Junon Harbor. He had been so desperate to believe her, so shocked by her arrival and so pathetically needy. The words had eased his pain for a while, but the wound remained just beneath the surface, slowly eating away at him and feeding Chaos until he had been worn down and overwhelmed. Why could he not simply be happy to have her back and forget about the past? Why was nothing ever easy for him? Was he truly cursed as his mother had always told him?

"Listen to me, Vincent," Lucrecia said, the slightest hint of frustration creeping into her voice. "You know the way I was back then… I was so unsure of myself, so depressed, and the only thing I'd ever been any good at was my work. And… and I was so confused about how I felt, what I wanted. Hojo had me so that I thought I was incapable of thinking for myself, and I was afraid of him. I was weak, stupid, and cowardly, and I will regret that for the rest of my life! I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, Vincent. I take complete responsibility for everything I did to you, and to our son." Her voice broke and she paused, choking back a sob.

Vincent grew painfully tense, recoiling at the sound. He was hurt and angry for himself, for Sephiroth, and for her… and he felt completely helpless to do a thing about it.

"Vincent…?"

"What?" he answered, his voice cold and gruff. He hated himself so intensely at that moment that he fully understood why she had rejected him. If she had any sense, she would get up and walk out the door again.

"Please look at me… Tell me how you feel."

All he wanted was to go someplace safe and quiet where he could escape the raging emotions inside his head. It should have been preferable to do so with Lucrecia by his side, but he suddenly felt so uneasy, so shaken, that he wanted to be alone. He could feel her eyes burning into him, and after all she had done for him he knew he owed her at least that much. His love for her would always win out over all else. He took a moment to collect himself and slowly raised his head, tossing his hair back over his shoulder. Much of it rebelled and hung into his eyes, but he hardly noticed. He kept his arms folded across his chest, his posture rigid. Lucrecia had not come any closer, the look in her eyes so worried and distraught that it was difficult to do as she asked. But he forced himself to steadily meet her gaze, swallowing hard before finding his voice.

"I… understand why you made your decision," he said, and suddenly he was a young Turk again, seated next to his pregnant lover and fighting to maintain his composure. "But it does not make it hurt any less."

"I know," she whispered, a single tear trailing down her cheek. She finally dared to move within arm's reach, though she was careful not to touch him. "I am so sorry for that… I wish there was something I could do to take it away."

"Your being here now… it helps," Vincent said, wishing he was better at expressing himself. There had never been a bigger understatement, and he hoped she understood. "It helps more than you know."

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "I'm glad. That's all I want, baby. I just want to make you happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with you making up for lost time, doing everything I can for you… I just wish you would relax and let me."

"It's… difficult," he said, lowering his eyes to his lap. "To believe you could really want to be with me now when…" He shook his head and exhaled sharply, frowning severely. "And even if you do, it isn't safe. I don't deserve-"

"Leave it up to me to decide what you deserve, all right?" Lucrecia said, sliding across the cushions until she was pressed against him. Vincent grew tense, but when she reached out and ran her hand along his pale cheek and through his hair he melted into her touch. "I want to be with you, and you can't talk me out of it."

"You shouldn't be with someone like me," he continued to protest, his eyes dropping to his prosthetic. He absently flexed the claws that had replaced the fingers of his left hand, a dizzying feeling washing over him. He could make them move the same as the digits of his remaining hand, yet even after using them for over a year it still didn't feel as if they belonged to him. They were attached to his body, controlled by signals sent from his brain, but he couldn't feel a thing. It was disconcerting and always left him feeling ill and disconnected, and he quickly looked away. "I'm a- no, Lucrecia, please don't do that…"

Lucrecia had reached out and taken a gentle hold of his forearm, almost cradling it in her lap as if it was a delicate treasure instead of the vile mockery of a limb he despised. His first instinct was to yank it away, but he feared hurting her and remained frozen in place. He wanted to avert his eyes but could only stare in horror as she gently pushed up his sleeve and ran the fingers of one hand along the length of the gold metal. She knew he couldn't feel what she was doing… yet she was behaving as if he could. It was strange at first, and all he wanted to do was make her stop and take back his arm so he could hide it against his body. She had touched his prosthetic before, but he had never allowed her to study it so closely, or keep a hold of it for so long. It made him extremely uneasy, and he had the illogical fear that she was going to hurt him somehow. But as she continued, turning his wrist over gently between her hands so she could rest her palm against that of the cool metal, he found himself slowly beginning to relax. She was so gentle, yet without hesitation or fear, and when he dared look up and meet her eyes he saw something there he never expected to experience again… acceptance.

"I just want you to know that you can trust me," she said, her eyes nearly pleading with him. "I know I need to earn it… but I'll never stop trying."

He wanted to tell her that he did trust her, that she didn't have to try. But he knew he would be kidding himself, and that she knew it, too. He trusted her more than he had ever trusted anyone in his life… but not the way he used to. It killed him to admit, but he was no longer the young man he'd once been, and their relationship had been forever changed by her decision. When one had been tortured so cruelly and joined with a demon whose thoughts were often violent and disturbing, trusting others was not something that came easily. Vincent had not had the best foundation on which to build trust to begin with, but before his alterations Lucrecia had managed to reach him. He had trusted her with his heart, something he had never done before… and perhaps he'd trusted her too much. Had she taken advantage of his desperate need for her, his desire to have someone who finally cared for him and saw him for who he was? Or had she loved and needed him just as badly and simply made a fatal mistake because she'd been wounded, too?

"We have time," he said, reaching out with his free hand to caress her cheek. He needed so badly to believe his own words, that time would heal the pain… that eventually, he would forget the way she'd hurt him and see only their love when he looked in her eyes. Then perhaps his dreams would be filled with only happy memories, and he could finally find some peace. Maybe he would grow strong enough to control Chaos better so he could try to be the man she deserved…

"Do you believe me when I tell you I won't leave you, that this is forever? That nothing will ever come between us again?" Lucrecia asked, releasing his forearm and bringing both hands up to frame his face. She leaned in close and gazed deep into his eyes, searching his soul. Her body grew still and he could hear her breath catch as her heart rate increased. Her hands against his face began to tremble ever so slightly, and Vincent knew his answer was deeply important to her, perhaps more important than anything had ever been. He swallowed hard, lost in her emerald eyes, his love for her almost overwhelming.

"Yes," he said, his deep voice quiet as he held her gaze. "Of course I do."

Even as he leaned forward and kissed her with all of his love and need threatening to drown out coherent thought, a voice in the back of his mind told him that one day, she would realize she was being foolish. She could do so much better. He was a scarred and disfigured failure at best, a foul demon endangering her safety at worst, and there was no way he could ever expect her to remain. But he would hold her and love her for as long as he was blessed by her presence, and when the time came he would let her go. His arms snaked around her possessively as he deepened the kiss, desperate to convince her to stay with him as long as possible. He may not have deserved her, but no one would ever love her more.

Lucrecia suddenly broke away, breathlessly leaning back and studying him closely. Though her cheeks were flushed with passion her eyes were almost sad, lips forming a thin line as her expression turned serious. He watched her with confusion, blinking and wondering what he had done wrong. She reached up and brushed a strand of hair from in front of his eyes, sighing wistfully before she spoke.

"You still don't believe me, do you…"

It was not a question, and Vincent instantly lowered his gaze in shame. Somehow she had read his mind, searching out the insecurities still locked inside his heart. "Yes I do," he argued weakly, raising his eyes and forcing what he hoped was a confident expression onto his face. He kept his arms locked around her, terrified that she was about to get up and leave in disgust.

Lucrecia frowned and shook her head, her warm hands still cradling his face. "I wish I could convince you," she whispered, tears in her eyes. "I don't want you to worry about that any more. I'm never going to leave you, baby. I thought after everything we just went though, you would finally believe… I wish there was something I could do to show you that-"

She stopped abruptly, her eyes widening slightly and losing their focus the way they did when a particularly brilliant idea suddenly crossed her mind. He had seen that look many times, usually in the lab decades before, but he'd always found it endearing. He wondered what she was thinking, about to ask when she suddenly dropped her hands from his face.

Vincent watched in stunned fascination as Lucrecia quietly slipped from the couch onto the floor, positioning herself on her knees in front of him. She smiled up at his curious expression before reaching out for his hands. He gave them to her without question, allowing her to thread her much smaller fingers through his right hand while gently taking a hold of his left. She gazed up at him with love shining in her emerald eyes, her smile almost serene. She had never looked more beautiful in his eyes than she did at that moment, hair slightly tousled, a slight blush in her cheeks.

"The hell with planning a wedding," Lucrecia said, almost breathless. Her smile widened ever so slightly to punctuate her sentence, but Vincent only frowned. Was she changing her mind already? Had she not just told him that he needed to learn to trust her? He was so busy worrying that he nearly missed her next words. "Run away with me, Vincent."

"I… I'm sorry?"

"I don't want to wait any more. As soon as you feel better, let's get married. We'll just pack a bag and go, just you and me. I don't even care where. All I want is for us to be married… the way it always should have been."

Vincent's brain finally caught up with her excited words, almost as surprised as he'd been when she'd suddenly appeared in his bedroom. He gazed down into her eyes and blinked, and she laughed at his dazed expression. She started to look a bit concerned when he failed to reply as a full minute ticked by, however, staring down at his hands held in hers. He wanted this so badly, wanted to tell her yes, but fear held him back. Was she only suggesting they do this out of pity? What if he failed as a husband and made her miserable? Did someone like him even deserve to be married?

As the troubling thoughts raced through his mind, he caught sight of his lover's engagement ring shining against the metal of his left hand. He stared at the image hard for a moment, and a sudden thought slammed into his mind that made him so nauseous he had to swallow hard against the urge to vomit. He closed his eyes, shaking his head miserably. Had that bastard done it on purpose when deciding which forearm to amputate? Vincent was right handed, after all, and removing his gun hand would have been far more devastating. Was it some kind of sick joke, revenge wrought for interfering in his own marriage… or just further assurance he could never have the love he longed for?

"I can't even wear a wedding band…"

Vincent opened his eyes and looked down at her, prepared to see the disappointment in her eyes. Even in something as simple and as normal as this, he was a failure. He was going to let her down before they even got started.

"Oh, Vincent…" Lucrecia's expression briefly fell and she almost gave in to tears, but she fought them back and bravely maintained eye contact. "Is there a law that says we can't wear them on our right hands? It makes no difference to me, so that's what we'll do."

She made the statement so firmly that he knew it was not up for debate, so he didn't even try. A slight smile fought its way free at the corners of his mouth, and he was proud of her as he saw the confidence shining in her eyes. She really had changed since her arrival… She had grown stronger, less shy, more sure of herself. She was learning to make decisions, to express her desires, yet she was still so focused on making him happy. In many ways it was she who had crossed the boundaries between them when she first arrived, slowly drawing him out of the isolation he'd imprisoned himself within. On their first night together he had been so self conscious and embarrassed about his body, but she'd comforted him and moved right past it as if nothing had changed. She took each new quirk and habit she witnessed in stride, and though things were awkward at times and far from perfect, she had helped Vincent relax and accept that it was all right to let down his guard, that he really could still love and touch and share his life with her. She had stayed by his side and witnessed a near-transformation, looked Chaos in the eye and somehow still treated him with love and tenderness and trust… How did she do that?

"You're amazing," he whispered, lifting his right hand to run through her hair. He finally did smile, a full, genuine one that almost hurt in its strangeness. Lucrecia's eyes lit up, and this time she allowed the tears to spill down her cheeks. For once he felt no guilt, because he knew they were tears of joy.

"Then say yes," she said, her smile only growing wider. "Run away with me, Vincent. I promise you won't regret it."

This time, there was no need to pause and think before he answered.

"Yes."

~ The End ~

* The next story in this series is Internal Warfare. So head on over there to continue the adventure :)

((Author's Notes: All finished. Wow. That's definitely a bittersweet feeling right there. I started this story last April, and it is the longest fic I have completed since Irony of Fate (I finished that one in 2001!). I definitely shed a few tears, and am kind of in shock as I write this. I think the ending itself is bittersweet, too. There is no "everything is great now!" for these two, and there may never be. I am not going to be one of those who suddenly removes all of Vincent's issues and makes him into a normal guy like so many post-DoC fics I see (Wait, what's a DoC? ;) ). But anyway… while their problems are not completely resolved, they are beginning to address them better, and it seems they are about to have themselves a bit of a vacation.

- I, however, will not be taking a vacation simply because I have finished this story. It may be a couple weeks, but it won't be long before Internal Warfare goes live. That's the next fic in my series, and it will continue my main AU plotline. Vincent is very heavily involved in the story, and you will definitely see what happened after things ended here. It'll be a little more action oriented but still highly focused on character development and their relationships, and you'll be seeing more of the other characters, too. (I'd say the main players as of right now are Vincent, the Turks, Sephiroth/Aeris, and Yuffie). Please feel free to Follow me here to be sure you don't miss it when I publish the first chapter, or come like me on Facebook for updates. The link is in my profile, or you can just look up JenesisX.

- Other things I'm actively working on include my Tseng and Elena fic, Closing the Distance. I also have my new series Behind the Scenes you can check out, and I occasionally update Life's Little Challenges when I get a good random word to go with. I'm going to work on getting some website content ready and hopefully posted before Internal Warfare goes live, so the summaries of my previous fics are available for anyone who would like a refresher course. That link will be in my profile and shared on Facebook when ready. I have been putting that off, it isn't the most interesting work, hehe. The site will be pretty cool when I get it together, though, and my beta has made it look really awesome.

- Before I go, I would like to take a moment to thank my wonderful, amazing, supportive and incredible beta, CykeclopsFF7, for everything she has done for me. (She designed the new cover, btw) Thanks so much, K! I know you need your Vincent fix so it wasn't really work, but I still greatly appreciate it. You helped me get unstuck many times and listened to endless brainstorming, and gave me quite a few great ideas. Much love, but you don't get off the hook so easily… You know how much I'm trying to do in IW, haha! Sorry ;)

- And to my readers, thank you so much for breaking all my records with your support for this story. It definitely helped my confidence a great deal and motivated me to continue writing and expand my horizons. I hope you enjoyed the story and I sincerely appreciate all of your support, reviews, favorites and love. So yeah… hopefully, seeya next fic! ~ JenesisX ))