Obviously I don't own Castle. That really would be a wish come true.

…

A man is sitting in his office

Bored. That's how he feels. He knows that he should feel more, but he doesn't. He's just… bored,

He knows that he should care now as Gina nags him about how he hasn't written anything for months and before that what he had written was never remotely publishable.

Sometimes, late at night when inspiration still hasn't come and the alcohol has run out, he'll find himself wandering over to his bookshelf. He thinks it's quite pathetic really, looking over his own novels to remind himself that he is indeed an author and a bestselling one for that. He gains a small amount of relief from that piece of knowledge but it is quickly crushed by the realisation that this is what it has come to.

He used to sit in this very room typing for hours on end. Not because he had to. Not because Gina wouldn't leave him alone until he'd gotten something she could sell on paper. Sure sometimes it gave him a small bit of incentive to make a few deadlines, but generally it had nothing to do with that no matter what anyone else thought about it.

He'd do it because he loved it; loved creating something, building it up and watching it grow. He always loved a story and this was his own to mould and shape. He loved his characters. The ones you could really dig in to, the ones that were so intricate he felt an obligation to tell their story right and once he started you'd be lucky to tear him away from his computer. It's like a rush he can't even fully describe, better than almost anything else he's experienced before, excluding the feeling he gets when Alexis comes home accompanied by yet another A or when she's just being her most amazing daughter in the world self. Well and sex of course (he is a man after all) although he's a bit embarrassed to say sometimes it's come close to it.

But he doesn't get that anymore, the buzz has disappeared apparently with his imagination, creativity and baby girl who isn't so much of a baby anymore.

Columbia. It's not exactly far away but he feels the emotional, symbolic distance of her growing up and becoming an independent young lady outweighs the actually rather short drive across the city.

And that's why he's bored. Not because she's gone so much but because she has gone he has nothing else to focus on but the boredom he knows has been there for a long time but failed to do anything about.

He needs to get out of here. This room, this apartment, her. He was an idiot to think one long phone call meant they could re-establish a relationship. Sure the summer had been good. She was happy because he had gotten some writing done and even managed to finish what was to be his last Nikki Heat book. And when he wasn't writing she had been rewarding him for getting all that writing done. Yeah, it had been really good for a while there.

But the summer had ended and the flame began flickering and dulling until all that was left was a bit of smoke that currently seemed to be coming out of her ears. He had considered getting a new publisher after the break up but Gina had proved to be nothing but professional thus far about the whole thing. Still though, seeing her always leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Like a 'what could've been'. Not with her, he gave up on that thought a while ago. But with the mystery he never was able to solve.

Detective Kate Beckett.

The thought of her momentarily seems to break a small part of his boredom before he quickly remembers how he failed, couldn't charm her out of her tough detective front. Sometimes he'd thought he'd seen glimmers of hope, when they had gotten riled up over a case and their lips were only inches apart. The smell of cherries invading his senses. The way she couldn't always stop the blush or stifle a small smile and had to turn away trying to conceal it but he saw, he always did and it made an almost triumphant smile appear on his face.

But alas, he really had failed and lost her to some baboon of a robbery cop. Demming, Shlemming it was all the same. He'd lost and wasn't about to sit around watching them.

Together; getting engaged then married, having their pretty little detective babies and growing old together. Even the thought of it makes him want to throw up. He could never sit around watching the woman he loved-

Wait. Did he just say 'loved'?

No. No. No.

She had been an interest to him, a mystery he just had to solve and nothing more. Right?

Whatever he did or didn't feel (because he didn't, right?) must have gone long ago anyway. They both said goodbye and moved on with their lives.

Well it wasn't exactly a goodbye. She had said she'd see him in the fall. But that had been a long time ago. He had planned to go back then. Honestly. But then he'd imagine walking back into the precinct, out of the elevator and finding her and Demming lip locking in a quiet corner when they thought no one was looking, or even just him putting a subtle hand on her lower back as she fretted over a particularly tricky case, letting her know he was there for her and he no longer had the motivation to return. He couldn't even pick up the phone and call her, too afraid it wouldn't be her that answered but her boyfriend, his voice dripping of sex. Sex with her. Not a place his mind wanted to go for too many different reasons.

So he'd just stayed away. It was for the best really. He could move on from his infatuation and she would soon forget about him, which she obviously had since he doesn't remember receiving a call either. Sure he'd said he'd be back but when he hadn't returned she hadn't exactly tried to track him down or checked up on him. But why would she? He was just some annoying 'nine year old on a sugar rush'. He had begun to think he was really making a difference and solving these cases. He'd stupidly thought she'd needed him. But really he'd forgotten how she was an amazing detective before him and would be just as good when he was gone.

She didn't need him. She didn't need anyone.

He needs to stop thinking about this, about her.

He needs to start looking forward to the future, not back into the past.

He needs a new character. He's tried a few so far but they were never complex enough, never smart, savvy or valiant enough. And without good enough characters how is he to build even the most basic of plots?

Gina suggested researching the different ways of killing someone like he used to do. Spending hours on the internet or talking to specialists looking for the most interesting and weird way you could end someone else's life that intrigued him to no end.

She had told him to write the story and the character would come. But that's not how he works. The story has to reflect the character and he thinks she knows that. She's simply realised she's not going to get a character out of him anytime soon and praying he'll find some other way to give her something before Black Pawn drops him completely. He can't blame them; they've been patient for long enough, they didn't want to lose their bestselling author. But he's given them nothing for over a year now and the name Richard Castle doesn't get him as far as it did a few years ago.

They're all praying for a comeback like no over. Even Alexis, who usually doesn't like getting involved with his writing except to proof read it for him, who usually sits back and lets him get on with it in his own time, has been asking him how it's going, encouraging him in her subtle ways so not to push him, just trying to give him a light tap in the right direction. When anyone else does it, it annoys him to no end. But with her, it makes him love her even more, something he thought wasn't possible. Because she doesn't care about the money he would earn, the fame and attention it would bring. She knows. Knows why he really does all of this and she just wants to bring back that joy for him. She just wants him to be happy. She always was the mature one.

And that knowledge gave him drive for a while and sparked something inside him. But eventually even that faded to nothing.

So now he's bored. Bored and not listening.

"Ouch!" He yells suddenly feeling a sharp pain in his arm.

"Richard! Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?" He looks away because he respects Gina too much to lie and knows it would be pointless anyway if he did.

She sighs and comes to sit down in the chair opposite him.

"Rick, they're going to drop you. I've fought all I can but if you don't come up with something soon…"

"I know Gina, and thank you for all that you've done for me but I can't help it. I'm no longer inspired and without inspiration I'm not an author, my writing is no longer a story, but just words slung together callously."

"So find some inspiration! You've done it before remember?"

"That was a once in a lifetime thing Gina."

She simply huffs out a breath. "Just try something Rick. A change of scenery maybe, you've been cooped up in this office for months. Take a walk or go to a coffee shop no matter how cliché it is. Inspiration doesn't have to come in the shape of one woman Richard."

"I'll try Gina." He appeases her even though he's pretty sure her idea will never work. At least she's coming up with something.

"That's all I ask. I'd better go; I've got a meeting to attend that I'm already late for."

"Bye Gina." He calls out as she makes her way towards the front door.

He makes to stand, grab his laptop and head out the door, ready to do just as she said but instantly collapse back into the seat. It's pointless really; a walk doesn't bring inspiration, not for him.

He walks to the kitchen. Thank god his mother loves 'a drink or two' he thinks as he opens a bottle of whisky. He goes to grab a glass, picks one up before setting it back down, grabbing the bottle and taking it back to his office. If it doesn't bring inspiration, at least it might numb the pain.

A woman is sitting at her desk

Bored. That's how she feels. She's so bored that the mountain of paperwork in front of her is actually beginning to look appealing. They just closed a case, though it's not much of a victory as it was an open-shut 'Jack shot Jill over Bill'' case and when they had arrived at the scene he had just been weeping in a corner, horrified by his own actions. The cases have been like this a lot recently actually ever since Castle-

No. No. No. She doesn't think about him. He left. He said he'd be back in the fall and that had been two years ago. He didn't even call. Therefore he doesn't deserve to be thought about or even considered. There is absolutely no connection between him leaving and the cases being less interesting, more normal. Well as normal as murder can get. It would be ridiculous to think there was.

She experiments with the idea that maybe it's just that he made cases she sees as normal seem interesting with his wacky alien and CIA theories. But she quickly dismisses this. He annoyed her with those stupid theories of his. They weren't even funny.

Although, she did laugh a few times. A real laugh, full of life and pure joy. She's forgotten what that's felt like, to just laugh, let go and experience joy. There hasn't been much laughter since he left.

She was going to tell him…

She doesn't know what she was going to tell him.

Liar. A small voice says in her head.

Fine she knows exactly what she was going to tell him.

That she'd changed her mind, she wanted to come with him, that she'd broken up with Demming because… because…

Because?

BECAUSE SHE LOVED HIM OKAY?

She really needs to stop having these weird internal arguments.

But that was then. That was before he ran off with his ex-wife and then never came back.

He mustn't care as much as Esposito had thought if he hasn't even bothered to call her. So she's glad in a way, that she didn't say it, she doesn't need that kind of rejection. Especially from Richard Castle.

They broke up though, Gina and he. She read about it in the paper, about how they'd been seen arguing in public, about how it got so bad the only solution was to end it. She tried to act like she didn't care, like it didn't even affect her, but it did.

She felt sad. That it hadn't worked out. She knew Castle well enough by now to know he must have put his all into the relationship. That he wouldn't have gotten back together with his ex-wife if he didn't think it could work, that they could rekindle what they once had and make it work this time.

So she's sad. Because he deserves someone to love who loves him just as equally, someone to build a life with.

She's ashamed to say she felt a little bit happy though, because if he spent the rest of his life with someone, please god let it not be her. The woman who had the worst timing in the world, who went to the Hamptons when it was supposed to be her going there with him. The woman he'd said he couldn't stand.

She had thought about calling him, seeing if he was okay. But then thought better of it. He hasn't been in contact because he obviously doesn't want to be and that's fine. Really it is. But she's not going to call him up and offer support and friendship that he obviously doesn't value enough to even call her. It would take ten minutes to drop by and say hello to her and the guys.

She heard the captain mention him on the phone to the mayor one day. Something about how he doesn't host his poker parties anymore; she was briefly worried until Montgomery had said that he had been focusing on his writing.

It made sense. He hasn't released a book since…the last Nikki Heat. He'd sent her a copy, but that's all she's heard from him. It hurt a little really. Knowing he was back in town, promoting his book and he didn't once try to get in contact. There had been a note with the book. A simple Thankyou for everything.

The dedication was similar.

Thankyou, to all my friends at the twelfth.

No KB specifically, he didn't even mention her. Maybe he really didn't care all that much.

"We're heading out Beckett, going for a drink, you coming?" Esposito says as he and Ryan begin gathering their stuff and putting on their coats.

"Not tonight, but have a good one." She smiles genuinely hoping they'll just leave it as she turns her head back to the form she was filling out.

"You say that every night Beckett." Ryan whines, trust him to sound so much like a six year old.

She laughs at their shared pouts. They really are the brothers she always wished she'd had.

"Really guys, I just want to finish this paperwork so I can go home and relax. But maybe another time?"

"We'll hold that to you Beckett." Esposito calls over his shoulder as he and Ryan make their way towards the elevator.

They've been so sweet lately, especially back in the fall, when he hadn't turned up. They would try to give her explanation after explanation as to why he hadn't been in contact yet and when they finally gave in to the possibility that he was never coming back they had been so quietly supportive. They did small things like bringing her coffee, staying that little bit later some difficult nights when they didn't have to and giving her those smiles that made everything feel that little bit better.

She may be their boss and order them around from time to time but they're really more like family and although some people think that would compromise a team, she thinks it makes them even stronger. That's why they've got the best closing rate in New York. Yes it's dropped a little since Castle left but they're still the best, as they were before he came along.

She decides she's done enough paperwork for one night so begins filing things away, grabs her bag and puts on her coat.

When she gets home she starts running a bath and heads to her bookcase but quickly stops herself, she hasn't been able to read anything of his since he left, except for the last Nikki Heat when curiosity had gotten the better of her. But apart from that, she doesn't think she ever will be able to again. Then there's all of her other favorites, ruined by the memory of him and his love for mystery.

So she decides against the bath, a quick shower does just as good a job right?

After, she falls onto her bed exhausted from the day, the day she will have again tomorrow and the day after that and everyday that follows.

She's bored, but the possibility that tomorrow she might arrest a very dangerous criminal and bring justice to a voiceless victim somewhat numbs the pain.

…

So this is my second story and any logical person would of course not start a story when they barely have time to upload for the first one but this is how I write weirdly enough. I write two or three stories at once and alternate so I don't lose interest or get writer's block. I hope you like it so far and review so I can upload more! Because this surely can't be the end. Can it? Want our favorite duo to reunite?