When Dirk met Sherlock

Part one

'You know John's got a new case, and he actually pays his rent. You could try it, earning a living.'

Richard MacDuff was sitting in his (still) half sawn chair moaning at Dirk Gently. Gently, of course was busy watching the people on the street below. Waiting for his stalkee to appear... again. 'Yes well. Very funny MacDuff but I'm conducting an experiment.'

'Of course. Silly me.' muttered MacDuff.

'Yes silly you. Janet, cup of tea.'

'GET YOUR OWN YOU PIG HEADED IDIOT!' shouted Janet from the other room.

And as always a stapler came hurtling through the open door way. 'Now.' Said Dirk with a smile.

There were some muttered grunting and cursing coming from Janet which the whole street could probably hear and then finally. 'I'M TAKING MY LUNCH BREAK EARLY! I HATE YOU!' and the door slammed behind her.

'Thank you,' said Dirk

After a short silence MacDuff suddenly said 'You know you and John's partner are really...similar. You'd get on like a house on fire.'

'Do you mean he matches my enormous intellect or he likes brie?' asked Dirk.

'Why don't you ask him I'm going to meet up with John soon, you can come with me if you like.'

'I don't want to leave in case she moves.'

'Who? Oh Sarah Wainright, the person you're stalking.'

'Yes exactly...no..look as I've already said I'm conducting an experiment.'

'Well it's either him or Janet.'

...Meanwhile...

John laughed as he read MacDuff's last email. Suddenly, Sherlock burst into the room soaked to the skin and proclaiming he was bored. 'How can you possibly be bored you've just had a case?' Asked John Watson

'Solved it. It was obviously the butler. He was having an affair with the daughter so he killed the father and blamed it on the gardener after he found out.'

'How?'

Sherlock sighed and went to sit in his armchair. 'He planted foxgloves outside the rabbit holes and so the rabbits would eat them, not be effected so the poison would build up in the meat. It was only a matter of time until they came to eat the rabbit, as traditional for them on a Sunday, until they were poisoned and died.' Sherlock said very matter-of-factly.

'How did you...?' asked John Watson as he did every time Sherlock had finished a case without him.

'Traces of ash from a cigarette near the foxgloves from a brand which only the butler smoked and his foot prints. Faint but the outline was still visible.'

'Clever,' replied John. 'Simple,' said Sherlock

John then went back to reading the email and broke the silence with a burst of laughter. 'What is so amusing?' asked Sherlock. 'Well...MacDuff, the one I told you about, his partner hasn't had a case for three months and is apperiently stalking some woman named Sarah Wainright. He supposedly believes she is the key to solving how a dog was stolen.' answered John with another bout of laughter.

'That is of no interest to me. Mrs Hudson...' Sherlock called.

Mrs Hudson walked down the stairs from the landing, towards them. 'Yes my dear? Glad to see your back, but you're wet through. Look at you, you must be freezing. Well, get into some nice warm clothe before it goes into your bones.'

'That won't be necessary Mrs Hudson. A cup of tea will suffice.'

'Well, alright but I'm not your house keeper.' and with some reluctance she went off into the kitchen.

'Finally,' Sherlock sighed, picked up his violin and began to strum it.

'You know you are quite...similar to MacDuff's partner Dirk. You should meet him.'

'I shouldn't meet anyone. Especially people who are stalking people because of A LOST DOG!' Sherlock retorted. He had a bad temper when he was bored and John knew this. John sighed, he knew Sherlock too well.