Title: Casual Deductions

Rating: T

Pairings: Suggestions of Morgan/Reid but nothing explicit or actually real

Warnings: Hints of slash (again, not real slash to speak of)

A/N: So, yet another fic set in this bizarre world I've unexpectedly set up. I didn't expect to write another so soon – should really be working on chapter 10 of my DW/CM fic – but I was reading Sherlock fics and this idea popped into my head so I wrote it.

This is set before "Interesting Friends" so it's before Sherlock met John (which sadly means no John). Still Reid and Sherlock are adults here. And again, this can technically be read as standalone, though it does tie in with "An Even Match" and "Interesting Friends"

Hope you enjoy! Please review!

Quantico, Virginia, U.S.A

January 5, 2006

FBI agent Spencer Reid was sitting at his desk in the Behavioral Analysis Unit - going over a consult on a triple murder in New Orleans – when his cellphone buzzed loudly. Blinking, he frowned and picked it up. There were only two reasons his phone ever buzzed – one was because they had a case and clearly they didn't because he was already at work. The other was Sherlock Holmes, friend and annoyance.

He flipped the phone open and read the message:

Where are you? -SH

Brows scrunching together, Reid sighed and quickly typed out his reply, wondering what Sherlock wanted this time. Because he always wanted something. Didn't usually matter what it was either, Sherlock just expected things from people. Reid wasn't sure, even after all these years, if he was bothered by this or not.

At work. Why?

He'd hardly even gotten back to the consult when his phone buzzed yet again and he sighed, reading:

I need to see you. Can you come? -SH

He blinked, shaking his head as he replied. Sherlock had asked a lot of ridiculous things, but this had to be right at the top of the list of them.

I'm at WORK. You're in London. No, I can't just leave.

Again, it took less than a minute for his phone to buzz again and Elle looked up, smirking at him slightly. "Someone loves you today, Reid,"

Reid ignored her and read the message.

No I'm not. I'm in your apartment. Can you come? -SH

The shock must've been evident on Reid's face as he read that message. He blinked a few times and re-read it, making sure he hadn't mistaken the words in some way. Nope, still the same message. Now he was thoroughly confused.

How did you get in my apartment? What are you doing here?

He didn't even bother going back to his paperwork this time, instead waiting for Sherlock to reply. Annoyingly enough, he took his time sending a reply this go around. Of course he would. Sometimes, Reid really thought that Sherlock deliberately tried to piss people off. But he knew that wasn't true. He just didn't think about other people's feelings.

Must I really explain how easily I picked the lock to your apartment door? You really should get someone to see about the poor security here, by the way, it's atrocious. Anyone could just walk right in and take everything you own. Not that you own anything of particular value, but you should still at least pretend to protect your things. Now, I will ask one more time: can you come. You know I loathe repeating myself. -SH

Sighing, the agent did roll his eyes this time and typed out a quick reply, shaking his head.

No, I told you I'm working, Sherlock.

Morgan and Elle were both watching their younger teammate curiously now. "Who's so eager to talk to you, Pretty Boy? Finally got yourself a girlfriend?"

Reid blushed and shook his head as his phone once again vibrated loudly on his desk. "No, it's just an old friend,"

Fine. How do I get to the FBI building? –SH

Reid scowled at the newest message, typing out a reply.

"An old friend, huh?" Morgan grinned teasingly, "Well what do they want?"

"It's nothing," Reid said, sending the message. "He's just being… annoying."

You are NOT coming here, Sherlock. I'm WORKING.

"He?" Elle grinned, "Didn't know you swung that way, Reid."

When Reid just stared at her blankly, apparently not getting the joke, she sighed and shook her head. Sometimes he really was adorably innocent. "So what's he annoying you about?" she asked as Reid received another text.

He read it distractedly and shrugged, "Nothing, really, just wants to talk I guess,"

No you're not. You're texting me, which means you aren't on a case. Which means you're doing paperwork. Which means you can most certainly take the time out to see me. How do I get there? –SH

You're NOT coming.

Reid sent the message with a little frown of aggravation on his face. Why did Sherlock have to be so stubborn? Why was it so hard for him to just listen to other people? Sometimes, Reid decided, he really, really hated the other man.

"Who is this friend anyway?" Morgan asked. "You never mention any friends to us."

"No one, just a friend," Reid insisted, "I've known him since we were kids."

"Ooh!" Elle grinned a bit wider, "A childhood friend of Spencer Reid. Never thought I'd see the day. Do you think he'd tell us any embarrassing stories?" She glanced over at Morgan, who was grinning too.

"I dunno," he said, "Maybe we should find out."

He went to grab Reid's phone just as another text message buzzed. Reid made a lunge to stop the older man, but he wasn't quite fast enough as he grabbed the younger man's phone from the desk and flipped it open to read the message that was sent.

"Morgan! Give me my phone!" Reid protested, making another grab for, scowling as Morgan held him back and read the message aloud.

Fine, I'll just have to look the directions up myself if you refuse to tell me. I'll be there in about twenty minutes. You know Spencer you really should remember who you're talking to sometimes. I hate being told I can't do something. -SH

Reid clenched his fists and glared at the phone. Arrogant bastard. Really, was it that hard to be considerate to a friend? Just once he'd love it if Sherlock would say "Oh, that's okay, I understand, I'll stay out of your way." But would he? No. Because he's Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes is the biggest narcissist on the entire planet!

"So he's coming here?" Elle grinned, "We'll get to meet him!"

"No you won't," Reid muttered, snatching his phone back from Morgan while he was distracted. "I'm telling him to go back to my apartment."

"Well apparently that won't stop him, Reid," Morgan said, "He seemed pretty determined."

Reid fought the urge to roll his eyes again and sent another text. This one far more annoyed than the last.

Can't you just do this one thing for me? Wait. Be patient. I know you aren't good at being "considerate" but TRY. This once.

A moment later he got another message:

Too late. I'm already in a cab. –SH

Annoyed now, Reid just shoved the phone back into his pocket, not bothering to answer the next three times the phone buzzed. Instead, he focused on his consult and every now and then glanced up at the clock. Those twenty minutes flew by with Morgan and Elle chattering away about what Reid's old friend would be like and what kind of stories they could get from him.

He was watching the elevators when they dinged and Sherlock stepped out, wearing a visitor's badge and his customary smirk. Reid was out of his seat before Sherlock had even spotted him and he made his way to his friend quickly.

"I asked you to stay at my apartment!" he hissed under his breath.

Sherlock sighed, "Yes and I asked you to come to your apartment. You refused, I had no other alternative."

"Except to wait!" Reid sighed, shaking his head at the man. There were days when he wanted to just strangle the other man. And then other days where he was glad he'd met him that day in the park.

Sherlock ignored the remark, "So this is where you work. It's a bit crowed. Noisy. How do you think in here at all, Spencer? It's like a constant barrage of annoyances,"

Reid sighed, "You get used to it," he said, resigned to the fact that Sherlock wasn't leaving. Not even remotely close to leaving. And now Morgan and Elle were making their way towards him. Great. This was just wonderful.

Biting his lip, Reid grabbed Sherlock's elbow and looked at him pleadingly, "Those are members of my team. Look, just… don't mention my mom, alright? Or dad. Don't."

Sherlock narrowed his eyes and raised a brow at his younger friend, but nodded curtly and Reid relaxed just a little bit. The last thing he wanted was for the team to know about his parents. Anything about his past really, but with Sherlock here that wasn't going to happen, so he did the best he could.

"Hi," Elle grinned and held out her hand to Sherlock, who blinked at it for a moment, narrowed his eyes and looked her over very carefully before taking her hand. Elle looked a bit confused by the glance, but ignored it.

"Elle Greenaway," she said, introducing herself. "You must be Reid's friend,"

Sherlock nodded, "Yes, Spencer and I have known each other since we were children… Sherlock Holmes, by the way," He turned to Morgan and his eyes sparkled for a moment. "And you must be Derek Morgan. Spencer told me about you in his emails."

Reid felt his face heating a bit and wanted to elbow Sherlock in the ribs, but that would just draw too much attention to what he'd just said, so he let it go.

"He did?" the older agent looked confused, but shrugged it off, "He's never mentioned you."

Sherlock smirked, "I doubt he would. Spencer's a very private personal, usually."

"Spencer's standing right here," Reid cut in, "And I'm sure I'd love to talk to you, Sherlock, but I'm busy, so –"

"Busy?" Elle snorted, "Reid you've done four consults today to our one." She waved her hand between herself and Morgan, "We've even slipped our own into your pile."

Reid shot her an annoyed glare, but Sherlock spoke before he could.

"Excellent! I've always wanted to see the inside of this place! Mycroft refused to allow me entrance to his office when he was working with CIA last month,"

Reid raised his brows, "CIA? Really?"

Sherlock nodded, his lips curled a bit, "Yes, some apparently top secret mission. He certainly didn't forget how to find the time to bother me with his trivial problems while working with his spies."

"Who's Mycroft?"

"His brother," Reid answered before Sherlock could. He was certain whatever Sherlock's answer was it would have been far less kind.

Elle nodded, "Well, Mr. Holmes, come on, we're having a slow day, we can give you the tour,"

Reid sighed heavily as Elle and Morgan led the way and Sherlock and he followed a bit behind, listening to his friends talking about some case that they'd solved a few months ago.

"Yes, Spencer told me about that. Actually, we texted each other during that case. He wanted my opinion on the chemicals that were used in the dye found on the victim. I'd done an experiment when I was in school that was nearly identical,"

"Really?" Morgan frowned, glancing back at him, "Do you work in law enforcement?"

"Of course not!" Sherlock looked appalled at the very thought. "I'm a consulting detective."

Reid almost rolled his eyes again at Sherlock's 'consulting detective' comment. Of course Sherlock would call himself that. He'd be the only person to give himself a unique job title and claim being the only one. Though, to Reid's knowledge he was. Reid still wasn't entirely sure he believed Sherlock. Why would Scotland Yard allow someone, even someone as brilliant as Sherlock, to help on their cases when they had their own detectives who were good at their jobs themselves?

"A what?" Elle frowned, "Do you mean a Private Investigator?"

"No," Sherlock frowned, "I mean a consulting detective. The police consult me whenever they can't solve a case. Frankly, it happens far more frequently than the general public should be pleased to know. I don't know how anyone can put faith in the police when they can't even do their own jobs properly."

Reid grimaced. Great. Now he'd offended them.

"Hey!" Elle frowned, "Police work isn't exactly easy, you know."

"Well of course you'd think that. You probably struggle with the simplest of cases,"

"Sherlock!" Reid hissed at him, shaking his head.

"Hey now!" Morgan spoke over Reid, "You don't know who you're talking too, pal, I'd watch myself."

Sherlock smirked, shaking his head, "Of course I do!" he said, once more looking Elle up and down with a frightening spark in his eye. "Elle Greenaway, FBI agent. Newest member of this team, according to Spencer here. Last night you went out for drinks, a man asked you to come back to his place with him – his name was Daniel. You turned him down but kept his number. Probably even programmed it into your mobile just in case,"

"Sherlock!" Reid warned, staring at his friend in shock. Morgan and Elle just gaped at him, Elle with wide disbelieving eyes as her crossed arms slowly fell away to her side and she blinked.

Sherlock, however, wasn't finished yet, "You're a female in a typically male job so your overcompensate with your aggression, possibly in an attempt to prove to fellow agents and yourself that you aren't as weak as you think you are, but the attempts often come across as… bitchy, I suppose. You don't have an extremely active social life and you've got immense trust issues. You believe that if you present this hardened shell of yourself to the world and your team that they won't pry and you won't have to worry about being hurt anymore. You lost your… father at a young age. Hmm, that was probably your inspiration to go into law enforcement wasn't it? Was he cop? Or… military, perhaps? Either way, you were a daddy's girl and he died and you carry some guilt about that fact as well, not sure why, unless you killed him with is unlikely –"

"Sherlock!" Reid snapped, shaking his head slowly as his friend continued to dig his own grave.

"And you also find yourself in a bit of dilemma because you're attracted to Spencer here but don't know how to tell him; you think he may be interested, but you can't be sure because Spencer is extremely introverted and probably wouldn't speak up about it and you want to tell him, but you don't want to take that risk. I can tell you it isn't worth it, I know Spencer and he'd be… graceful about it, but he's certainly not interested in you. He's got someone entirely different in mind,"

Reid's face was now the color of a tomato, he was certain of it. But finally, mercifully, Sherlock had stopped talked and Elle was glaring at him, her fists clenched tightly, her jaw locked. Reid and Morgan were both silent, still, waiting to see what she would do.

Without a word she stepped closer to Sherlock until she was standing right in his face, her eyes blazing with rage. Before Sherlock could react or back away she's slammed the backside of her hand into his face with as much force as she could muster and then she whirled around and stormed off. If Reid hadn't known her better, he'd have sworn there were tears glistening in her eyes.

There was a tense awkwardness that hung in the air after her departure. Sherlock's eyes were a bit wide, not from shock, of course. It wasn't exactly the first time he'd been backhanded by someone for his deductions. But from the pain. She had one hell of a swing.

Morgan cleared his throat, glancing at Reid and silently asking him how on earth he and this man could be friends. "Maybe we should… go see what Garcia's doing,"

Reid nodded slowly and trailed behind Morgan with Sherlock, glaring at him.

"Don't do that again," he said under his breath.

"Don't do what? Tell the truth?"

"Sherlock," Reid sighed, "Look, they don't know you like I do. So just keep the deductions to a minimum, ok?"

Then, checking to make sure that Morgan was farther ahead of them, he turned back to his friend. "And what do you mean I'm interested in someone different?"

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "Oh don't play games with me, Spencer, you know exactly what I'm talking about,"

Reid glared at him and shook his head, "Just don't do that again, alright. Especially not to Garcia, she's… just don't."

Sherlock sighed heavily and nodded but didn't say anything as they came to a stop outside of Garcia's tiny office. Morgan tapped on the door before entering and smiled as the blond tech analyst spun around in her chair and grinned.

"Well hello my gorgeous chocolate Adonis!" she beamed, "Ooh, and my pretty little Junior G-man too! To what do I owe this visit?"

"We were just showing Reid's friend Sherlock around," Morgan said, stepping aside to allow Sherlock more room in small space. The consulting detective looked around the dark room with a look akin to awe, but not exactly quite there all the way.

His lips quirked into what was the closest thing he'd yet to produce to a smile. "And you must be Miss Penelope Garcia," he said, taking in the woman's bright attire, purple lipstick and bobbing, curly pigtails.

"Spencer's told me about you in his emails," he smiled – a real and genuine smile this time – as he shook her hand and she grinned.

"Well I hope he hasn't been giving away too many of my dirty little secrets," she winked at Reid, who once again blushed a bit. He was very seriously hoping Sherlock knew how to keep his mouth shut here. Morgan would kill him if he said anything to hurt Garcia.

"Of course not, Spencer only told me that you're possibly the best computer hacker in the country. He would never say anything rude about someone. He's too nice,"

Garcia chuckled, "Too nice, too modest, too good to be true," she smiled at Reid, "He's definitely too smart for this job."

Sherlock smirked again, a triumphant look in his eyes as he glanced at his friend, who crossed his arms and ignored the look, just happy that for once things appeared to be going well. Hopefully they'd stay that way.

"Well, we're in agreement there. He could be doing so many more productive things in his life, but Spencer prefers to play hero. He always loved those ridiculous comics when we were children."

"Sherlock!" Reid hissed and Garcia and Morgan grinned.

"Comics, really, Pretty Boy?"

Reid did not miss the very arrogant smirk Sherlock sent him then and he clenched his fists.

"Oh, don't laugh, Derek!" Garcia frowned at him, "There is nothing wrong with a good comic book superhero! Like Batman and Robin or Spiderman! They just teach kids to have good morals."

"Or become reckless vigilantes bent of their preposterous idea of justice," Sherlock said, "And they dress in rubber suits and spandex. Not exactly the most reliably safe outfit for fighting super powered criminals."

"True," Garcia nodded, "But Reid's more of a science fiction fan anyway. We've pulled some all-night Star Trek marathons in the last few months that would make any Trekkie salivate."

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "Of course,"

"Isn't there something else you could talk about? Other than me?"

"No, I wanna hear this!" Morgan grinned, "What else does he like?"

"There was one show… He only knew about it because of Mycroft, it was a British science fiction show…" Sherlock frowned, trying to remember and Reid crossed his arms, looking just a little bit annoyed.

"How could you forget that show, Sherlock!"

"It's not like it was important! I've deleted it,"

Reid rolled his eyes, "Along with half your childhood memories,"

"British sci-fi?" Garcia grinned, "You mean Doctor Who? They just started a revival for that. It's still hard to get in America; Reid got me into it."

"That's the one!" Sherlock nodded, "The ridiculous show about that time traveler."

Reid frowned, "Ridiculous? Doctor Who isn't ridiculous. How can you even say that?"

"Because it's true,"

Reid glowered at him like he'd just insulted his mother, Morgan grinned brightly and Garcia just hummed to herself, watching the two of them.

It was over an hour later that Sherlock finally left, after a long and surprisingly friendly talk with Garcia. He apparently liked the technical analyst and she brushed off most of his more rude comments, thrilled to have someone who would debate with her about comics and super heroes more seriously than maybe even Reid. Before Sherlock left she told him that she believed he was clearly a closeted comic nerd, to which he snorted and rolled his eyes. Reid thought she was right, but didn't say anything.

"I'll be at your apartment when you get back," Sherlock promised him. Which was when Reid realized that Sherlock hadn't even told him what he'd needed to see him for. Sherlock, of course, said that he'd just wanted to get his opinion on something and was gone before Reid could get him to elaborate.

"Well," Morgan crossed his arms as he and Reid went back to their desks to finish their neglected paperwork. "He was… different."

Reid snorted, "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about him,"

Morgan grinned, "Yeah," he said, his eyes falling on Elle, who was bent over her paperwork, still looking a bit furious. "Still, he wasn't… terrible."

Reid sighed, "You have no idea," he said. "He can be much worse sometimes. I'm surprised his deductions haven't gotten him shot, honestly."

Morgan grinned, "I'm surprised you never told us you had a friend who worked with Scotland Yard. What other secrets are you keeping from us Reid?"

Reid stiffened a bit and forced himself to shrug, "It wasn't a secret, really. I just… don't like to talk about my personal life, that's all. Besides, he's only been consulting with Scotland Yard for a few months now."

Morgan nodded, eyeing Reid suspiciously, "Right. Well, if he's going to be in town for a few days maybe I can come by tonight. I still haven't gotten to ask him about all those embarrassing childhood moments,"

"Morgan!" Reid groaned as he sat back down and slumped into his seat, shaking his head as his phone buzzed again. Four text messages, three from previously, were waiting to greet him.

Is the rest of your team there? –SH

I remember you mentioning your technical analyst. I'd like to meet her, she sounds very interesting. –SH

Spencer, why are you ignoring me? It's incredibly rude. –SH

On my way to your apartment. Tell Agent Morgan when he asks that I'd be delighted for him to accompany you, as long as he brings Penelope. I believe she may be of some assistance to me and I'm sure you would enjoy the opportunity to spend time with Agent Morgan. And don't even try to deny that, Spencer. –SH

Sighing, Reid shook his head again and closed his eyes. Sometimes he really, really wished he'd never met Sherlock Holmes. And other times, he was infinitely glad that he had such a remarkable man for a friend.

-FIN-

A/N: I don't know what it is with me and these oneshots, but they just keep coming to me. And yes, Garcia DID say Doctor Who. I am a nerd. Do not judge me; nerds are cool (just like bowties). :P

Anyway, this was slightly ridiculous (at least in my opinion) but fun to write. Hope you guys enjoyed it! (And yes, there actually was, in my head, reasons for all of the deductions he made about Elle and an explanation for how he knew all that he knew. Maybe he'll even explain that one day).

Please review and let me know what you think!