Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kelley Armstrong. Story is produced without profit.

Characters: Tori/Derek

Status: Completed one shot

Rating: K

Warnings: None

Inspirations: -

Summary: He's had to change everything about himself so he can be accepted. Tori understands that better than anyone.

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The Lies We Tell Ourselves

...

Why are you here, Tori?

The question rings in her ears, the answer sticks in her throat. She tries to force it out because she doesn't know what it is either and some part of her wants a reason.

"Where else am I supposed to go?" But she regrets asking as soon as the words leave her mouth. She knows he doesn't really care.

"There must be somewhere." He folds his arms, tries to intimidate her, but she is not a whimpering Necro. She's a Witch, and from what Andrew has told her about the experiments, she's a damn good one. Even if that does scare her sometimes. She pulls her shoulders back and lifts her chin. She's so much smaller than him but there's a fire in her eyes to match his own.

He holds her gaze for a moment before he turns away from her with a sneer of disgust and a bitter laugh. "We both know you don't like any one of us. I just don't understand why you stay here."

"Why do you?" She snaps back, sharp enough for him to turn his head in surprise. She already knows he won't answer and she'll bet it's because he doesn't know either. It could be Chloe, more likely Simon, but he's spent so long thinking he's a monster that if it really was any of those, he would have taken off by now.

His eyes glaze over slightly and she can see the thought process working through his brain. Almost like a computer, she thinks. Such a brilliant mind, but she's not impressed. She was taking apart computers and putting them back together again before she was nine. There is nothing he possesses that she doesn't have.

Though their curse is quite different.

"I'm here to keep Simon and Chloe safe," he says, his arms going back to his chest. She snorts. She knew what he was going to say before he did but she doesn't call him on it. Lying to themselves is all they have left.

"Yeah, well I'm here to keep myself safe."

It's never a sure bet, lying to someone with enhanced senses, but she knows he wont search for it. It's easier for him if he believes what she's showing him. He doesn't want to see her as anything more that a cold hearted drama queen, and that suits her just fine.

"I'm serious, Tori. If I feel you're a threat then I'll have no problem getting rid of you."

Liar

"Never doubted that, Wolf Boy." And she plasters on a winning smile to go with insult. It hits its mark. He tries to pretend is doesn't but she can see the tension in his jaw and so she decides to run with it. "I mean, that is what you do, isn't it? It's almost normal for you, being a cold blooded killer. Right?"

He shifts slightly, muscles coiled and ready to strike. She can see the struggle play across his features and she can pinpoint the exact moment he manages to pull himself back. It's disappointing. She doesn't have a death wish but she can't help but wonder what it would feel like, what it would take to make him rise to the bait.

He smiles, slow and cold, a predators smile. A smile reserved for easy prey, a sure catch and the insult rankles. "Yeah, that's right. It's my nature," he says, with a lazy shrug of his broad shoulders. Then he leans down to her, so close she can feel hot breath on her face and he whispers through gritted teeth, a deadly gleam in his eye. "What's your excuse?"

A cold chill works its way up her spine. "What are you suggesting? How dar-" She strikes out at him and he catches her hand in his.

"You know what I'm talking about. Or did you forget what you did to Chloe?"

She pulls her hand away, fixes him with a snarl worthy of any werewolf. "I don't give a shit about Chloe Saunders."

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about."

She wants to claw his eyes out of his head, escape from his piercing gaze the only way she knows how. "Get out," she hisses, swallowing hard because she would rather die a thousand times over than let him see her cry. She walks over to the window, watches a stringy furred cat limp away from a dumpster.

He doesn't move quick enough. He is at the door when she marches over to him. She shoves him and he takes a step back, more out of surprise than anything to do with the force of the push.

"You're such a goddam hypocrite. Wailing about how much of a monster you are and how nobody can see the real you and all that shit. You're just too interested in yourself and your precious Chloe to see anything. I'm here too. I'm being hunted down, I'm sleeping on dirty floors. I'm cold and fucking hungry but does anybody ask how I am? No. Your all too busy making sure Chloe is all nice and comfy."

His green eyes are wide with something akin to shock. She's pretty sure he's not used to anyone ranting and raving at him but she's too angry to stop.

"You think I don't know that I'm the expandable? That you wouldn't throw me to the wolves, "A bitter laugh at her own pun, "to save any one of the others? You were willing to throw me out on the street, to be killed or raped or god knows what else. You know what kind of monsters are out there and you were going to put me right in the middle of them."

He pales slightly. "I didn't-I wouldn't-." but he cuts off because he knows he would have. He will. He's already considered the consequences of his ultimatum if not completely. She knows this because she would have done the same.

She throws her hands up, lets out a sharp, bitter laugh. "Hell, even Chloe would hand them over if it meant saving you or Simon. Or herself." she adds as an afterthought.

"You think I want to be here!" she screeches, standing on her tiptoes so she can shout in his face but she's still at least half a foot too short. " I don't. I want to go home. I just want my mother. That's all I want."

And then she breaks. Drops to the floor, head in her hands as hot tears spill down her cheeks. "She doesn't want me. My mom doesn't want me."

Derek is silent. She can feel his eyes on her as she cries. There is no sound but that of her heaving sobs, and then she hears soft footsteps and the click of the door as it closes. She smiles wearily, and swallows down the whirl of emotion that is eating away at her from the inside. She knew he wouldn't stay.

She wouldn't have either.

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