I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content.

A/N: I decided to write this fic after having so many Shenko feels and wanting Shenko babies to squee over. Also, the awesome Shenko fans on Tumblr. There is no other motivation behind it. It's just supposed to be super cute and sweet and all those good feels. Please enjoy.

Oh, and thanks Shauna, for helping me come up with Jagher first craving.

Nine; month one.

They hadn't planned on having a baby. Not so soon.

They had wanted things to settle down first, the reconstruction to begin, the funerals to be over. They had wanted their lives to return to some degree of normalcy before they started a family. It hadn't happened that way, though.

Of course it hadn't.

Three days after Anderson's funeral, and the morning after taking the test, Jagher Shepard had awoken at two-thirty, her nightmares and grief keeping her once again from sleeping through the night. Slowly, carefully, she untangled herself from the blankets and climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Kaidan. He needed a good night's sleep as much as she did. Maybe more. She paused to look back at him, squinting in the darkness so she could make out the line of straight nose, the curve of his lips.

Sometimes it still felt like a dream.

Jagher shook her head and padded into the bathroom, her bare feet making almost no noise on the carpet. She closed the door before turning the light on and sitting on the edge of the bathtub, one hand on her stomach and her body slightly hunched with weariness.

She had to tell Kaidan. She hadn't told him the night before because she didn't know how; she still didn't know how. Shepard was terrified and it didn't matter that it was a good scared.

With a sigh, she got to her feet again and stared at herself in the mirror, her reflection cut off at about hip-level. Jagher lifted her tank-top and stared at her still-flat stomach, trying to image what she would look like pregnant. For so long, all she'd ever seen herself as was a soldier. She'd never imagined settling down and having a family, not until Anderson had told her, in his last breaths, that she'd make a good mother.

Tears filled her eyes again, the same as every other time she thought of Anderson, her friend and mentor, the man who had been like a father to her through everything, now dead and buried in the ground.

Jagher shook her head again, sending her thoughts away from that place.

Shepard pulled her shirt back into place and then turned the tap on so she could splash some cold water on her face and bring herself back to the present. As she was wiping her face dry, she heard the door open. She lowered the towel to find Kaidan looking at her with sleep-blurred eyes full of concern.

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

He rubbed at his eyes for a second. "Is everything all right?"

She chewed her bottom lip as she considered a few possible ways of breaking the news. Kaidan's brow furrowed as his concerned increased—it wasn't often Jagher was at a loss for words. "Kaidan," she stared. "I… uh, have some news. I probably should have told you last night, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up and I was exhausted. I'm always exhausted though so I don't really know—"

Kaidan put his hands on his lover's shoulders, cutting her off while making her focus on him. "You're rambling."

Jagher tried to smile, but her mouth didn't want to comply. "I, uh, we're going to have a baby."

It was Kaidan's turn to hunt for words. Several expressions played across his face, but finally settled on disbelief and happiness. He wrapped his arms around Jagher and pulled her into a fierce hug, his face pressed into her hair. Quiet laughter escaped his lips and the noise brought similar laughs to Jagher. In that moment, she wasn't scared about having a baby, she was happy that her and Kaidan were going to have a family. She returned the embrace as Kaidan kissed her ear, her cheek, her mouth.

Over the next few weeks, the fear came and went along with nausea and intense cravings for pickles wrapped in salami. Shepard bemoaned her desire for weird food but ate it nonetheless, along with handfuls of crackers. She would also eat whatever protein, fruit, or vegetable Kaidan gave her for nutritional reasons, but if it wasn't a pickle wrapped in cured meat or a cracker, it always came back up a little while later or made her stomach so upset she was rendered immobile for the better part of the day.

Towards the end of the first month, the soon-to-be parents were curled up on the couch, watching an old movie. It was raining heavily outside and the apartment was dark despite it being the middle of the afternoon.

Jagher was scared again, still unsure of how to prepare herself for what was coming in less than a year. Her mind wasn't on the movie at all; her green eyes moved rapidly back and forth as her mind ran through all sorts of horrific possibilities.

As if he could sense her thoughts, Kaidan's arm tightened around her by a fraction, drawing her tighter to his chest. "Jag, you're shaking a bit." He pulled the blanket from the back of the couch down over them and took an extra moment to tuck it securely around her. "Are you feeling okay?"

She could feel his voice vibrating against her back. It was soothing. "I'm fine," she muttered, more out of habit.

"Shepard."

He hardly ever called her by her last name anymore, only when he knew she was keeping something back. She sighed and rolled over under the blanket so she was facing Kaidan. Their noses were almost touching. "I'm scared Kaidan—I don't know how I'm going to do this. I didn't have a normal mother. I barely even saw my mother. I have no frame of reference."

He didn't belittle her fear by comparing it to the amazing feats she had pulled off in the past. Kaidan just kissed the tip of her nose and brushed some of her hair away from her green eyes. "Jagher Shepard, you will be a great mother. Anderson saw it and I see it too."

There was confidence in his voice, a surety that really made her feel better. She smiled.

"You've got eight months to freak out though, Jag. Don't waste it all now."

She gently punched his chest, her smile turning into a reluctant laugh. Kaidan's laughter joined hers and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. Since she was lying farther down on the couch, her face was pressed into his chest, muffling her curses.

As the moment passed, Kaidan puts his mouth against her ear and whispered, "I'll be here the whole time, Jag. We'll figure this out together."