This time, no surrendering

I usually surrender, because that is the easiest thing to do. If you surrender, no one will hurt you. You won't get any wounds. You will feel no pain. It is the pain that frightens me. It is probably the one thing I hate most in this world. No, there is something that is even worse. I can't stand seeing my friends and family suffer. The ones I care about... If it is for their sake, even I can fight. Even I... can kill.

These thoughts were rushing through my head as I walked closer to the battlefield and the fighting army. They hadn't seen me yet as I and my men were behind them, hiding in the shadows of the forest. The gun in my hands were heavy, but I held it steadily. If I failed now, everything would be over. I shivered slightly, the thought of death scared me more than ever. But if I didn't do this, Ludwig would lose this battle for sure.

For a second I just stood there, looking at the soldiers that had wounded my dear friend so badly. It had been an ambush and Ludwig hadn't been prepared for that. He usually weren't the one to lose, but I knew that this war would soon come to an end, and that it would also be the end for the mighty country of Germany. My eyes narrowed and my feeling were silenced, for now. I could do this. I would do this or die while I tried. At that moment, it didn't matter how scared I was to die. I would rater die trying to help Ludwig than live while he died, knowing that maybe I could have prevented it.

I took a deep breath, pointing my gun at the group of soldiers closest to us. A single word found its way over my tightly pressed together lips, sounding both bitter and furious at the same time.

"Fire!"

It felt like an eternity before the first bullets reached its targets, slowly sinking into the bodies of the fighting men. They fell to the ground, their life quickly escaping them, coloring the world with its dark red blood. Then, time suddenly sped up. Other soldiers turned around, finally noticing we were there. They aimed their guns at us and once again I fired my own weapon. Rushing toward them who were my enemies, I saw more men falling. Some of them were theirs, some where ours.

I don't know how many peoples lives I took that day. I can't remember much of the battle, everything is just a blur inside my head. But I do remember the terrible fatigue and the sharp pain in my left shoulder that pierced every part of my mind and body, pulling my emotions out of the frozen state I had put them in. And I remember the silence when the long night was over.

Together with the rest of the German Army we eventually defeated them. The ground was covered with dead bodies and blood. The sun had risen above the mountains. The silence was deafening.

I looked around me. I had lost many men, the brave men that followed me even though they knew that some of them wouldn't come back. With them, I had killed twice as many, men whose families now were without a father or a son. But it wasn't them I was looking for, not then, nor was it the ones of my soldiers that were still breathing and living. The living would find and help each other on their own, and the dead... well, their deaths would haunt me for many sleepless nights to come, but right there, I couldn't think about them.

No, the one I wanted to find was the one man that I had done all of this for, the one I had tried so desperately to save. And I found him. His head was wrapped with bandages and he was bleeding from a wound in the side. He looked tired and worn out, but he was alive. I almost wanted to laugh, the happiness filled me for a few short seconds and all I could think about was that he was okay. That he would survive.

"Ludwig!", I cried, smiling brightly at him. He looked up, he hadn't known that I was there until he heard me say his name. I couldn't read the expression in his eyes. Shock, perhaps, that it was me, the one who usually would hang around him with a goofy smile on my lips and a white flag in my hands, that had done this.

"Feliciano?", he said slowly. I felt the tears I had been trying to hold in rise in my eyes and run down my face. My sudden happiness disappeared as soon as it came. Now, when I finally could allow myself to believe that everything was going to be fine, I could let the feelings that I had ignored during the battle come up to the surface. Fear, worry, disgust, as well as the hope I'd held.

I dropped the gun, my whole body shaking as I sank down on the ground. I had also started to notice the pain in my shoulder that was a lot worse than what it had been when I first got the wound.

"Feli!"

Through my tears I saw Ludwig rushing toward me despite being wounded far worse than me. He sat down beside me, a slight gasp escaping his lips when he saw the wound, realizing that most of the blood covering my uniform was my own.

"Italien! Mein Gott!", he said. "Are you alright?"

I almost laughed again at the absurd situation. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around, wasn't I supposed to ask him if he was alright, since my condition wasn't as bad as his? I gave him a little smile, trying to pretend that it wasn't as bad as it looked, but he must have seen that I forced it.

He took me in his arms and, even though he staggered a little, picked me up and started to walk away from the horrible scene around us. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, pressing my body against his. I could feel him breathing, hear the beat of his heart and I felt safe in his strong embrace.

"Let's go home, Feli."

I smiled, and this time, it was a real smile.

"Yeah"

A/N: Well, this was mostly for practice, and I also wanted to write about a Feliciano that even if he usually was carefree and happy-go-lucky and was waving his white flag as soon as some sort of argument came up, also could be serious and go into battle if it was for someone he really cared about. But then I had to come up with an idea why he usually would surrender, and I think I actually did kinda well on that part, it's the part of this fic that I think turned out best.

Anyway, tell me what you think and help me improve by giving me friendly tips.

Thank you for reading! ;P

-Taigalily