Everybody hates Fenrir Greyback: a savage werewolf with all the table manners of a drunken Skrewt. It's about time someone knocked the sadistic bird off of his (hopefully steel-reinforced) perch and there's one way to do that: REALLY annoy him!

WARNING: Lycanthropy is contagious and has no known cure. Annoy Fenrir Greyback at own risk.

Tell him he's not allowed a Dark Mark until he's house-trained.

Send him a coupon for a waxing session: deadline full moon.

When he goes on about werewolf domination, shake your head and tell him it's just his time of the month and he'll get over it.

Lace his drinks with Wolfsbane Potion and complain loudly when it doesn't work.

Buy him a pink sparkly dog collar.

Give him a scratching post to: "vent out those negative hormonal emotions."

Tell him Lucius Malfoy says he's not allowed on the furniture.

Give him a vegetarian cookbook.

Send him a pink vest top with the words "Humans Aren't For Eating." Insist he wears it with the dog collar.

Send him to Cannibals Anonymous

Ask at Death Eater meetings whose going to be the next to give Fenny walkies.

Say he's quite cure underneath it all.

Dye his fur pink and insist that he keep it like that: along with the collar and vest top.