You know, ever since I was a kid, all the way to Baltimore, I've always been alone. Sometimes the rising feeling of insecurity and sorrow drowned me, every Christmas, every Easter, and every other family holiday. It just hurt too bad, with the knowing, that I wouldn't have anybody to share the days with. Sometimes I felt I was going to die alone.

But no, a blue eyed ex-marine shoved his way into my life, and then I had something I've always wanted, but never gotten; a father. At first, I thought he would be like all the rest. Uncaring, and willing to toss me out like I was garbage, whenever they had the chance. But he was different. The first time I got shot on the job, it was him that sat on my bedside. Whether or not I claimed to be fine, he read my lies, and helped me instead.

It was then, that I realized that the gruff exterior was just his walls. That it was all there because he lost Shannon and Kelly. When I found out, I didn't say a word, just kept it to myself. I thought 'He really must trust me, if he told me all those things.' and he did.

The day he left for Mexico, my heart shattered. I felt like I was ten years old again, and my father left me in a hotel in Maui. He left with a 'you'll do.' and nothing more. I can't lie, the sting is still here, but it's now a dull ache. It was when he returned that we came to the conclusion, that we couldn't deny; He was my father, and I was his son. Blood or not.

Though, there was this one particular case where a marine's wife and daughter were murdered while he was overseas. And unsurprisingly, Gibbs was absolutely furious. No, livid. His face was contorted in anger, and he growled viciously. I dealt with it through the case, because I knew it brought back old memories. But I felt it went too far when we found out why the little girl and mother were murdered. They were witnesses to a murder. Now that was uncanny. Gibbs though? Gibbs was beyond angry, so damn mad, hell froze over. I went to his house that night, and just sat in silence, while he worked on the boat. You could feel the fire radiating from him. I said 'Dad, you know, you don't have to keep it in silence. You can talk to me.'

I guess he didn't want to talk, because he turned to me, and straight out yelled. How life was unfair, and why did God have to take away the precious things in life. I just sat still, letting him get it out.

But what he went too far in, was his next words. 'You know what Agent DiNozzo, why did I have to get you and not my Kelly instead? Why aren't you dead? Not her.' I understood his anger, but that was too much, even for me, and I've heard many hurtful things in my life. I stood with tears stinging the edges of my eyes. I stalked up the wooden stairs, but he didn't even spare a glance in my direction.

When I got home, I cried. I drank. I dreamt about the sad things in life. I guess I really was useless after all. I sat there the whole weekend, and got wasted, and plastered. Monday, morning I woke up with drum beats playing a solo in my head. I dragged myself to the shower, and to work. I didn't see Gibbs there, so I assumed he was in MTAC. Just as I dropped my backpack, he swiftly walked towards the bullpen, not even giving me a glance.

'Gear Up. Dead Petty Officer.' Was all he said. The crime scene was gruesome, and gory. I went to capture some photos of shell casings in the clearing the woods, out of sight from my team. I suddenly heard a shot, and I burning pain in my side. Next thing I knew, I heard three more shots, and the drop of a body, and my name being called.

When I next woke, I was in a hospital. The regular beeping told me. I felt a hand grasping my own. My eyes cracked open to find my da- boss, holding my hand.

'Gibbs?' was the only thing I could choke out. He was probably hear to chew me out for not seeing the attacker.

'I'm sorry.' was his words. I'm sorry? From Gibbs? That was surreal. But I still felt hot tears roll down my cheeks.

'No it was my fault Gibbs, I was stupid. No one could ever replace Kelly. I'm just a burden. If my real father couldn't love me, why should you?' I regretted talking, as my voice cracked in shame. I expected a headslap for being weak, but all I got was a kiss on the forehead.

'Should be a rule; Don't apologize, when you've got nothing to say sorry for. No one could replace my Kelly, but you're my son, and no one could replace you either. You each have my whole heart' A touch of a smile could be slightly seen, whether or not the cheesiness factor was exploding. I realized, a real father and son would forgive each other no matter what. And that's what we are. He told me that we are equal, and I was loved. Now I know, I was just a lonely kid in Baltimore. But now I'm a man with somebody to lean on.