Andromeda,

How are things in rainy old Britain? I'd say you're complaining about the lack of warm weather right now despite the fact that's it's meant to be summer, but I can tell you with complete confidence that it is infinitely colder here in Sweden. There also seems to be an infestation of Prestibits nearly everywhere, though the Swedes are blaming their effects on 'Pollen Allergy'. How wonderful it must be to be so ignorant.

The quest for the crumple-horned snorkack living quarters has yet been successful, although we did come across some rather promising tracks this morning, intentions to follow them will hopefully lead to conclusive results, though only time will tell. The family that we are living with seems very accepting of our intentions, or at least have not been negative like so many other researchers we have contacted, and are providing companionship as well as help in navigating the countryside and speaking the upside down language. They are rather entertaining people, honestly, though the father doesn't speak a lick of English. Still, their son and daughter have been very helpful and for that we've been thankful.

More on them to come, however. On to you.

I can only hope my positive regards have made it your way and things are starting to look up, though I will understand if they have not made it yet. It is quite the distance from here to there. Still, I am enclosing several in this letter, hopefully they survive the trip. How goes Mission 'Pretend Sections of Last Year Did Not Occur'? Has been keeping busy truly helped or does it seem as useless as ever? Perhaps mentioning it is not helping.

How is the family? How is Octavius, for that matter? I am aware that asking you to pet sit a pet that you in fact gave me is not the best way to thank you for such a lovely present, but what can one do when they must go on an expedition to Sweden and their host family claims to have allergies? (Always the allergies with these people, when will they understand that it is the large colonies of Prestibits they allow to float about?) I digress.

Hoping summer finds you well,

Xenophilius

Dear Xenophilius,

As I spend most of my time inside like any good rich Pureblood, I cannot comment either way on the weather, though due to the placement of Sweden in relation to England, and particularly my portion of England, I can only presume that you are in fact correct in your assumption that it is colder. Still, it cannot be so bad if people insist on living there? Although I would say that the rain here is dreadful and yet we still put up with it, so perhaps Swedes have the same vein of craziness for the cold. Who are we to judge?

I wait for confirmation that you have found the crumple-horned snorkacks den, if only so that I know your mission has been a success and I did not spend all summer missing one of my best friends for no good reason. Fruition of results is the only way I will excuse you for abandoning me for a near three months, Xenophilius. I hope you are aware of this. My own mission, for that matter, is less than successful. Especially when people insist on bringing it up even ten seconds. You would think given the fact that only about five people were aware of the predicament I had gotten myself in it would not come up as much, but apparently not.

What a pity.

In any case, I do not blame you for asking, so do not hold guilt over that, it is natural curiosity I suppose. I stare at the wall less and have stopped eating packages of Jammy Dodgers in one sitting, so I would say there has been some mild progress at least. Perhaps it is in thanks to your well regards. If so, I thank you, because there are so many Jammy Dodgers one can eat until they begin to doubt their own sanity, as I'm sure you're aware.

"More on that later" sounds promising. Do divulge. Is the daughter cute? Or the son? Whatever you prefer, really, I am honestly in no position to judge for obvious reasons. I'm sorry for the typical questions but unfortunately as your friend it is my duty to ask. The introduction of any potential romantic mate in your life requires scrutiny. It just is how it is.

Octavius is well, though he is a bit fed up stuck in my room. You see, mother is generally unaware of his existence (I've sworn the house elves to secrecy) so he must stay in my room at all costs. He is rather lovely and well-tempered despite your ominous warnings; maybe he just likes me better because he recognizes me as his savior? Please do continue digressing, I'm intrigues by these Prestibits. What exactly is it they do?

Much love,

Andromeda

Aloha Andromeda,

Regards from Utah. Aha, you probably assumed I'd be in Hawaii due to the intro but no, my dear, I am on a quest to visit all the weird and unnecessary tourist traps in Muggle America and so I have found myself most recently at something dubbed 'Hole N' The Rock'. It is what you expect, yes, but it also so much more. I have tried to purchase the taxidermy horse from the owner, Gladys, for Charity but alas, my charm has failed me.

America is a strange and wonderful place, Andromeda. Just last week I visited a giant ball of yarn. Why, you ask? Why indeed. I have no idea. But it is wonderful and strange and reminds me that life is a strange, unpredictable existence. I don't know where tomorrow will take me, but that is the fun of it. Also, I would advise you not to willingly place yourself in an aero plane. Small confined space, strange cramped bathroom, and a heady smell of cigarette smoke as apparently everyone and anyone smokes. In general: an unpleasant experience.

I don't have much else to say, but I hope things are well with you. And if not, imagine me surrounded by unwashed hippies hitching a ride in a giant van and I think that will make you smile.

Hestia

P.S. If you're going through Hell—keep going. (That's your pal Churchill)

Andromeda.

Congratulations on the new engagement are in order, I suppose. It seems that drama will never be short in High Society as long as we have you. That being said, we are pleased to inform you that you are invited to the union of one Arthur Weasley and one Molly Prewett. Presents are not required, but appreciated, and do not worry, it will be a small affair.

Just tell your mother that you're going out to tea or some rubbish. You're an excellent liar, we have confidence in you.

Reply soon, please.

Molly.

Also, don't bring a plus one, please. That would be disastrous and ill-planned.

Dear Charity,

I hope you're all right. I hope…I hope we're all right. I'm sorry. I really am. (And Blacks don't apologize so I don't do this lightly). I know it's weird, I know you're obviously on the side that is not mine, and I understand. I really do. I don't blame you for it, it makes sense. (Bit pointless to even jabber on about it I suppose it's not as though you need my confirmation for your own personal choices).

I just wanted to know if you are well, how your summer is treating you? I understand if you don't reply, I don't mind honest, but I did appreciate you as a person so I wouldn't mind cordial updates. I imagine your summer is probably not the most enjoyable right now, considering Hestia is off traveling, but maybe some summers are meant to be rubbish.

I don't even know why I'm writing this.

I don't know if I'll even send it.

It's actually the worst letter I've ever written.

Sorry,

Andromeda

A—

It's not me you should be apologizing to. It's certainly not my summer you ought to be concerned about being wrecked. But I understand that I am receiving your misplaced emotions because you can't address them to who you truly want to.

That's fine. I get it. Please don't do it again.

For reasons I'm sure you understand I would rather you not contact me again. We could have been friends, sure, but unlike you I have seen firsthand what you've done and unless if you want a letter of anger and rage it'd be in your best interest not to contact me again.

Apologize to the person who deserves it, not me.

-C

Wotcher,

It occurs to me that you can't write back as I don't have a legitimate return address and I am moving too fast that sending an owl after me would just be plain cruel. Fine. We can have a one-sided conversation. I don't mind, those are my favorite.

I'm in Florida at the moment, visiting amusement parks and whatnot. There's this giant bridge that connects the Florida Keys (they're a collection of islands) and I think I'm going to con some bloke into taking me across it in his car later. Apparently if you have a fancy accent and are a pretty bird you can get help with most anything here. If I fancied blokes and wasn't in a committed relationship I could be having a ball. Shit. Don't tell Charity I said that. IT WAS A JOKE.

Anyways, Florida is swell but hot and humid and rainy (but the rain is warm and gross so what's the bleeding point?). People keep saying it's 'Hurricane Season' so I guess that's why.

Best Wishes,
Hestia

P.S. Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. (Yes, I bought a book of his quotes. Hope they are inspiring you to greatness).

Dear Molly,

Thank you very much for the congratulations, though the subtext seemed slightly disapproving but I'll ignore it because I honestly can't handle fighting with someone else right now. For obvious reasons I do not think I will be attending your wedding, although congratulations are in order and I wish you both the best in life. Thank you for the invitation but I think you can see the obvious ramifications were I to attend.

My apologies,

Andromeda

Dear Andromeda,

The crumple-horned snorkack tracks led nowhere. We are back to square one. The admittance that I am your best friend, however, was a very touching sentiment and makes me feel that even if we don't find something on this trip—fingers crossed we do –that it was in a way worth it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it seems it has helped you admit the importance of our friendship.

Really though, thank you.

There is not much to say on that front—though I can confirm that it is females that I am generally interested in. To clear that up. They are blonde, blue-eyed, Swedish to the core. The son is well fed and slightly doughy, and the daughter is very pretty, but also inordinately passionate about potions and experiments. We rarely see her except at meals, so it is the son we primarily deal with. Their names are Aaron and Camilla. Aaron has come exploring with us on several instances—but he is loud and clumsy so it may be thanks to him that no animals will make their presence known. It's all right though; he's still new to it.

It's nice to hear you're doing slightly better, and that Octavius is behaving for once. Perhaps you are a fire crab whisperer of some sort? Or just have a calming influence. Maybe we will have you out of your room before the end of summer, for a reason beyond social functions. I heard Molly and Arthur were getting married? Maybe you could go to that. It'll probably be fun. At the very least you can give them my regards, as I will not be attending for obvious reasons—and then promptly tell me the details as I do wish I could be in attendance.

I will be sure to tell you all about Prestibits when I get back, don't worry. If I wrote it to you this letter would go on and on.

Well regards,

Xenophilius

Dear Ted,

Ted,

Edward,

To Ted Tonks,

Bollocks.

(unsent)

Andromeda.

I think you misunderstood. The invitation was less of a request and more of a subtle order. That being said, subtlety is obviously not working so I will be forthright with it: come to the wedding, or else. If you are not in attendance then I will apparate to your house, drag your improperly dressed self out of bed, and force you to come to the wedding. And what kind of drama would that stir up in your home? Nothing good, I'm sure. Plus how ghastly would it be to show up a wedding improperly attired? You'd besmear the Black name forever.

It's probably best to just cooperate and come willingly.

Molly.

A—

Perhaps I was a bit harsh. I still would prefer to be in as little contact with you as possible, but I have to write you to do me a favor. Don't come.

Please.

Don't.

I know I don't have a place to ask that of you, but, well, as Ted's best mate I kind of have to. Sorry.

-C

Dear Charity,

I have no intentions of attending, don't worry. I am well aware of my current role as social pariah. It is neither my place nor my initiative, and as far as I'm concerned I already have enough weddings to attend this summer. I hope you all have a lovely time.

Sincerely,

Andromeda

Dear Xenophilius,

You are daft. I am ignoring your well words and well wishes, as well as your description of the Camilla bird as 'pretty' because one paragraph of you letter is so insane that it needs to be addressed at once. I am not going to the wedding for obvious reasons and for you to ask me to is awful. Just ask someone else for the details; I'm sure you and the rest of the group are still in touch. Please don't be ridiculous.

As for the rest of it, you're welcome. You really are though, and it's not just because my friendship circle has dwindled down to you and Hestia who's gallivanting about the States like a lunatic. (Have you been getting correspondence from her, by the way? She writes me occasionally and apparently she is charming blokes into doing her whim. Cheeky cow.) I can honestly say you are one of the few people I can be honest with, and I miss you excruciatingly. Also, have you done the Ancient Runes summer work yet? I'm only halfway done and I've been doing some everyday.

Now on to the important bits. Xenophilius Lovegood thinks a girl is pretty? I always assumed that you didn't even see people, no offence. But I've never once seen you go after a girl (albeit I have only known you for less than a year). She's even into doing her own little thing that other people might think is odd, it's perfect. Perhaps this is premature, I'm sorry, this is actually the only decent news I've gotten all summer and I am well prepared to run with it.

Stop me if you've heard this one. So Xenophilius and Camilla meet an ordained official in a bar. All right, sorry, I won't go there. Feel free to regard this whole paragraph. Or at least, this paragraph up to this sentence. I look forward to hearing about these Prestibits. Perhaps I've been misblaming allergies all this time when it's actual them. Life is odd like that.

Much Love,

Andromeda

Dear Molly,

Although you paint a very vivid picture I doubt the seriousness of the threats. The answer is still no. I don't even know why you'd want me there, to be honest. I am well aware of whom the guest list includes and if that doesn't spell disaster I don't know what does.

Andromeda

Andromeda,

Okay so the bridge was boring. The view was lovely though. The company less so. I was stuck with some English Major (whatever that means) and he just driveled on about authors nonstop. Being a wizard it was a very one-sided conversation. I know I said I love those but only when I'm the one leading. Anyways, he started reciting this bloody weird poem at me.

"We must not speak to goblin men, / We must not buy their fruits:"

I fell asleep after that bit and then when I woke up the goblins were attacking some bird named Laura. You should read it. I know how you love to read weird muggle bollocks and then apply it directly to your life. Ted told me as much. (Too soon? Sorry.)

I'm in D.C. now. Visiting the President. Or, sort of. I can't actually visit the president but I saw his home. Much like when I stalked Buckingham, however, he was not outside. What a pity. Who even is the muggle President? I haven't the slightest, to be honest. Charity would know.

Went to a Quodpot match. What even…? That game is so weird, Andy. Stick with Quidditch, dear. The ball exploded and everyone cheered and I was just sitting there wondering about the snitch. Eustace (he's another bloke I met) said that Brits just don't get it, that it's way more interesting than Quidditch. Not to discredit Eustace, but he's dead wrong.

Hestia

P.S. It is not in our stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. (I felt bad sending you all Churchill, so here's some Shakespeare. Rubbiiiish.)

Andromeda,

Nice. Nearly there.

Caradoc

Caradoc,

You even write in fragmented sentences? Really? How do you do it? I honestly just blab on and on and then sit there awkwardly wishing I hadn't kept on going. For instance, right now. Written word is really only worse, because it's as though your hand just has to write everything your brain thinks and if you aren't paying attention then who knows what will happen.

Your control is awe-inspiring.

That being said, nice for what exactly? Are you talking about the punch incident at the most previous ball? Because I can confirm to you that that was not even remotely intentional, but I thank you for the appreciation anyways as it was quite brilliant if I do say so myself. Or, perhaps, was it in response to my outburst in tea last Wednesday? I can assure you, once again, that was completely out of my control. Evan Rosier was bang out of order and I can't stand him. Blokes my cousin and the very sound of his voice leaves me quaking with rage. How can someone you're related to be so aggravating?

Or is it because I pointed out the Dearborns aren't even on the Pureblood list? Sorry, but you're not. Stop acting like you're true Purebloods. We all know you're worse than the Weasleys.

Please explain yourself at once,

Andromeda

Andromeda,

Actually no, I was simply sending you a quick line before heading out with Miranda. To be so fragmented in letters would be pointless, though I do make a point of being concise. While all of those points in time were certainly wonderful—my favorite being when you called out father on his questionable blood, always a fun time—it was not what I was referring to.

The "nice" was in reference to your recent engagement which we were very glad to hear about. The resulting response was simply the icing on the cake. The "nearly there" however I'll let you figure that one out.

Caradoc

Dear Andromeda,

You are impossible. And not even remotely funny. I cannot further this discussion with you on the grounds of lunacy, but yes, Camilla is 'pretty'. You are also arbitrarily 'pretty' that doesn't mean anything. If you were to get out of the house for once perhaps you would not be driven to such means for entertainment. A great proper source of entertainment, for example, would be the wedding.

And that is all I have to say on the subject.

Progress in the crumple-horned snorkack investigation, we have found what seem to be their living quarters, or what used to be. They appear to be migratory, perhaps changing location due to location? Perhaps they move further north during the summer as they like it to be cold. That being said, address may change as we look into this possibility and most likely head further north. I'll keep you posted.

How are things? How are they really? If I'm your proper best mate you ought to be honest here. I worry.

Well regards,

Xenophilius

Andromeda.

Have we met? My threats are not empty. I will waltz into your house and drag you by your ankle if I have to. We even made sure not to put the wedding on the same day as your sister's so you can attend both. We are being very allowing here, stop being difficult. As for the rest of it, it's my wedding day. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your own best wishes for the bride. If I wasn't about to be excommunicated from Pureblood society I would be at your wedding.

You're coming,

Molly.

Dear Molly,

Why do I feel as though this wedding is a farce and it's actually an intervention? Why do you even want me there? You're loony.

Not coming,

Andromeda

P.S. Have you been getting Xenophilius to join you in this madness? He's been particularly pushy as well.

Andromeda.

Convincing letter to come shortly.

Molly.

Dear Xenophilius,

First of all, thank you. Second of all, I am not simply 'pretty' and that's that. No, this isn't an egotistical rant; I think you have forgotten we've kissed Xenophilius. I am slightly hurt, but don't worry, I have not forgotten. That being said, clearly there is more than just me 'being pretty'. Saying someone is pretty is a big deal. Stop denying it.

I'm not going.

Crumple-horned snorkacks like it when it's colder? What is wrong with them? I've been jealous of Hestia for the past few weeks because she's been rocking about in Florida (though she says it's been raining there too so maybe not) because it feels cold here and you want to go further north in Sweden? And you called me loony.

Things are all right here, really. I've been kept fairly busy. Between social events and trying to knock some sense into Narcissa I've actually been spending most of my days out of my bedroom now. I know that a full social calendar may seem like an empty, valid existence but keeping busy is of prime importance right now, and I've been chatting with some lovely people at tea and weddings.

I don't even think I could get away to go to the wedding, honestly. More's the pity.

Much Love,

Andromeda

Dear Caradoc,

I am stunned. That is the most words I have ever heard come from you grouped together, and I didn't even get to hear them. Honestly, I thought you might have thought in fragmented sentences you were so good at them. I am almost convinced that you are normal now. Almost.

Anyways, thank you very much, I certainly feel much better about it all now. I did, however, intend the blowout that occurred due to it, but I suppose I should have expected it. Still, someone has to keep all these formal events fun and unprecedented. I can't even begin to fathom what you meant by 'nearly there' so I'm just going to ignore it and pretend your initial letter simply said 'nice'.

Andromeda

Andy,

Gee, I hope you don't mind that nickname. Oh well, if you do it's not like you can tell me. I've been floo-chatting with Charity occasionally but otherwise I'm practically cut off from regular society. Random question, but are Arthur and Molly really getting married? It's about bleeding time. Actually, by the time this gets to you they might already be married. Weird, innit? It's like we're moving in two different universes that are adjacent to each other but occur at different speeds. By the time that you get this letter everything I've written will be the present for you, but the past for me and everything you're experiencing over there is trickling slowly over to me via Charity so that I hear small updates about your life (very rarely though, what the hell's up with that? I need details) nearly a month after they've occurred.

I suppose that's humane existence though, we all live in the same universe, experiencing and interacting, while also traveling within our own personal universes, unaware of what it's like for everyone else and never quite grasping the concept of the lives happening around us.

Time is weird.

Anyhow, the Muggle president is Richard Nixon, in case you were unsure and dying to know. I had to ask someone and they thought I was right mad. The sacrifices I make for you, Andy.

I don't have much else to say, I feel like the recounts of my many adventures will only serve to depress you more as you are stuck in dreary old England while I am living it up, bunking with vagabonds and seeing the St. Louis arch and really just living life to the fullest. So, sorry.

A few days ago I ended up in this region Americans call 'New England' (but regular England is better, thank you very much) and I hitched a ride up to this musical festival in Vermont, which was fun. The grounds were muddy, the sanitation was poor, and it was crowded as hell, but it was brilliant. Muggle music is really cool actually, I'd suggest you give it a listen.

Okay, I need to shower and sleep.

Hestia

P.S. You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. (That's A.A. Milne. Muggles love him, but none of them seem to know who he is, just what he's done.)

Andromeda,

No.

Caradoc

Dear Caradoc,

Eloquent.

Andromeda

Andromeda,

I try.

Caradoc

Dear Molly,

I assume this means you've given up? Much obliged.

Andromeda

Andromeda.

I have not given up; I'm simply playing the long game. Don't worry, you may have won the battle but I will win the war.

Molly.

Dear Andromeda,

I had forgotten. Given it was New Year's however, I don't think it counts. Although there probably is something to be said about the fact that we rang in the New Year together. I'll allow some leeway, I suppose. I am still in disagreement about a comment about appearance being more than that, anyhow. Even if she does seem intrigued by the possible movement patterns of the crumple-horned snorkack. Don't say it.

Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to learn more about creatures, if you don't believe me you can ask Newt Scamander, who traveled the world in order to provide and encyclopedia of creatures in the magical world (although he did unfortunately miss some). Sometimes if you want something you have to be willing to put yourself through a little discomfort.

Well, you've stated how I feel about that, but I suppose if you claim that you are in fact enjoying yourself and having fun (though we both know how untrue that actually is). I still think hanging out with your proper, actual friends could do you some good, but I won't push the subject further. Maybe you aren't yet ready.

Well regards,

Xenophilius

Dromeda,

Go to the wedding. It's fine.

-Ted

Dear Molly,

Fuck you.

Andromeda

Andromeda.

See you on Thursday! Xx

Molly.