14

The interview earlier and trying to keep a bright face the entire day wore me down. I saunter down the hall with my head hanging low below my slouching shoulders and a feeling of pure exhaustion dragging at my body. I am walking barefoot, not caring what anyone in the Capitol thinks about it. President Snow's daunting words are still lingering in the back of my mind.

"Conan, I wanted to speak with you before you went to bed." Leon's voice carries from down the hall.

I turn around and face him, holding my head up and looking right into his eyes.

"Yes?" I ask tiredly.

He opens the door to my room and sits in the red chair near the bed. I flop down and look at him.

"I know all of this has been hard on you, trust me." he says calmly. "Keeping a smile on your face even when it hurts, and having to go live in a strange place without your family… and Olin."

"It's been horrible and I'm worn out." I sob, letting go of the tears.

"I understand and I'm going to do my best to help you through it. Ok?" he asks quietly.

"I know. Thanks." I sniff and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand.

Leon pats my shoulder and waves his goodbye before exiting the room. I push off of the bed and walk into the bathroom to wash everything off of my face. Underneath the dusts and creams I am still sickly pale and my eyes are bloodshot from crying, but I felt good to let go for once now that the Games are over. I drag myself into bed and I am immediately asleep.

"Rise and shine sleepyhead!"

I wake up to Sasha's face inches from mine and I nearly jump out of my skin.

"It's another big day for the victor! You're to get onto the train for your tour of the districts and your return home, so come down and get breakfast!" Sasha shouts from the door and then slams it without thinking.

I put my head in my hands and groan loudly. Her yelling and door slamming gave me a headache and I'm still exhausted from yesterday. I heave off of the bed, walk groggily to the closet, and pull something out. It's a crème colored shirt and a washed out pair of blue jeans which seems fine for right now, so I slide it on and walk out of the door. No one is outside ready to spring on me as usual and I am relieved. It should be a virtually uneventful breakfast.

"Conan, wait up!" Olin shouts from somewhere in the hallway. "I want to help you prepare for your victory tour."

This man's attitude has changed a lot since he was snapping at Cambria before the Games.

"Ok, can we talk about it while I'm eating?" I ask sharply.

"Sure, whatever, I just want to get you prepared." he says. "You know, I went through this same thing when I was about your age."

"Yeah, I know." I mumble.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"I'm fine. I've just got a headache." I snap back at him.

He slows down and walks a few paces behind me. I'm so frustrated and upset right now that I can't even control my actions, so I'm glad he's giving me some space.

When I get into the dining room I find an elaborate breakfast out on the table and I feel my stomach grumble loudly.

"Hungry?" Sasha asks through a bite of pancake.

"Yes." I respond before sliding into my seat at the table and digging in.

Olin sits down next to me and prepares to give me my pep talk.

"Eat up, you only have thirty minutes before you're expected on the train." he begins. "When we get on, our first stop will be District 12 and so on, saving our District for last."

"Mhmm." I acknowledge through a mouthful of egg and bread.

"You'll be expected to give a speech to each of the Districts at their Justice Building and it will be broadcasted to all of Panem." Olin continues.

I nod and continue scarfing food.

"And you might not want to eat too much because there will be a sample of food in every District to try out of respect… for the lost tributes and such." he ends with a wink.

At that comment I nearly choke on my mouthful and end up spitting some egg onto Sasha's plate. I swallow the rest and drink some water, pushing my plate away and standing up.

"Just kidding, there are no food samples." Olin says with an ear to ear grin.

"What?!" I shout angrily.

I grab a piece of toast with butter on it from Sasha and throw it at Olin. It lands in his hair and he whips around with a growl. Right as he picks up the entire stack of pancakes Sasha breaks in.

"Cut it out you two, you're acting like children and I will not tolerate it!" she snaps before stamping out of the room.

Olin sets down the pancake stack and I storm out in Sasha's footsteps. Olin just sent me over the edge with the sample thing and I needed to get out before I exploded. Cambria would've helped me handle this if she were here. But then again, I wouldn't feel like this if she was still here. I decide that by the time I get to my room it will probably be time to get on the bus, so I walk into the sitting room and plop down on the couch.

"Sasha must have forgotten that we are still kids." Olin sighed from behind the couch.

"How old are you?" I ask while still facing forward.

"18." he replies quietly. "And you're 15, right?"

"Yeah." I respond. "What's it like to be a mentor?"

"It's tough knowing that you're responsible for two kids' lives when you've barely lived your own yet. You get pretty attached to some of the kids and you feel responsible for their deaths." Olin says with a deep sigh.

"You seemed a lot older when I first met you." I almost whisper.

"I guess that's what the Games and mentoring does to you." this time it's his turn to force a smile.

I stand up and give him the 'we should get going' look. He nods his head and we make our way to the train station to board our train.

"It's about time you two got out here. We only have one minute before the train leaves." Sasha says impatiently. "What would the Districts think if the newest victor didn't make it to his tour?"

She clucks her tongue as we board the train and it takes off the second we step on. I love riding the Capitol trains. One because they're made by District Six and two because the experience is so amazing in itself.

After Sasha gets through looking both of us up and down and taking mental notes, she stands up and walks over to me.

"What exactly are you wearing?" she asks sharply.

I look down and see the crème colored shirt and jeans I put on this morning.

"Clothes." I reply smartly.

"This is a victory tour not a lounge day at home." she chides. "How do you expect to make an impression in these?"

She huffs in my direction and walks to the back of the train.

"I didn't even notice what you were wearing. I should've paid more attention to the boy I'm supposed to be mentoring." he says sheepishly. "But I know Sasha will handle it."

"No, I should've been paying more attention to myself, and I believe you about Sasha." I admit.

"Put this on." Sasha snaps.

She's holding a pair of black dress pants and a jacket to go over my shirt and I take them gratefully. With the suit in hand I walk into the bathroom to put it on and I can hear Sasha talking to Olin.

"For right now Conan is your responsibility and you don't seem to be taking it seriously." Sasha snaps.

"I helped him prepare for the Games and ultimately got him through them Sasha." Olin snaps back.

They both stop talking. When I emerge, Sasha applauds lightly and gives thumbs up to my appearance.

"We should be stopping in District 12 in less than five minutes." Olin informs me. "Do you know what you're going to say when you get there?"

"I'm not completely sure yet. Maybe I'll congratulate them." I say, unsure.

"On what?" he asks.

"The strength of their two tributes and say sorry for their loss." I continue.

"That might work, and you can say something nice about one of their tributes." he suggests.

"One of them made it to the final four and I was really surprised, so I could talk about his strength." I decide while saying it.

Olin agrees just as the train pulls to a stop at the station. I've never seen District 12 and I wasn't paying attention as we passed through it, so the overall sadness and hurt that seemed to make up the district took me by surprise.

"Twelve is the poorest district and I feel sorrow every time I set foot here." Sasha sighs.

I step off of the train and into the station slowly, followed by Sasha and then Olin. Twelve is the coal mining district and I've heard about so many deaths in the mines on the news it struck me. Three Peacekeepers surround the three of us and escort us to the Justice Building in silence.

When we get inside I find a building very similar to the one in my district, except this one has an eerie run-down feeling.

"Right this way." the Peacekeeper says in a kind tone. "Through these doors and there are chairs for you."

He leads us out of the doors and we are met with light applause and a few cheers. In the back of the crowd I see a tall man surrounded by two sobbing little girls, and then I see the resemblance. The picture of the boy from Twelve flashes into my head and I glance back at the man. It's a mirror image.

I get the cue to address the crowd, so I stand up.

"Hello. I'm Conan from District Six and I am this year's Victor." I introduce myself slowly. "You might expect me to talk about myself in the Games, but instead I wanted to talk about your two tributes."

Olin gives me a look and I continue.

"Two strong District Twelve tributes made it very far in the Games, but the one that stood out to me the most was the boy." I am cut off by a small voice.

"You mean M-milo?" the little girl stammers.

"Yes, and he made it through almost the entire Games, the force field, and to the final four tributes." I finish and look back out at her. "You must be his sister, what's your name?"

"Silver… and my sister's Grier." she says with a tiny smile.

"Wonderful. Good luck for you two and your father." I announce before sitting back down.

This time there is more applause and Milo's dad smiles up at me and mouths something I can't make out.

The rest of the tour goes mostly as planned and most all of the citizens greet me with applause. Eleven, Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Five, Four, and Three have passed now and they have been seemingly uneventful.

"You've done great so far Conan, now we only have the Career Districts to go… and…" he trails off. "Those should be interesting."

I know what he means by interesting, so I swallow any emotions that are eating me up and try to prepare myself.

"In these Districts it's best to talk about yourself in the Games and not give the people any extra fire. They train to get their fire." Olin explains. "Try to appear calm and cool even if you don't feel like it, got it?"

"Yeah, I'll keep all of my emotions in and only talk about myself in the Games." I say plainly.

"Ok, we'll get to District Two in about four minutes, so use this time to prepare yourself Conan." he instructs me.

I begin to pace back and forth between the chair and the door and shake my head. This is the way my dad taught me to clear my mind, other than ignoring the people trying to get to me. Olin's words brought back memories of my dad helping me prepare for the Reaping when I turned twelve:

"Use the time you have now to prepare son, just try to clear your head of everything and think of it as just a regular day." he soothed.

"How do I do that dad?" I asked through tears.

"Pacing always helped me when I had to go through this. Just pace and shake your head slowly to calm your nerves and clear your mind." he said before leaving me alone to try.

I catch Olin giving me an odd look when I snap back into reality and I stop immediately.

"What's that? You're shaking your head like a dog." he states questioningly.

"It's the way my dad taught me to clear my mind." I grumble, brushing his comment off. "How close to District Two are we?"

The train jerks backwards and the brakes squeal against the metal of the tracks, which answers my question. Sasha comes up behind me and lays a hand on my shoulder, escorting me out silently. When I step out onto the ground I find marble under my feet instead of cement and four burly Peacekeepers standing towards the exit.

They close around the three of us and we're pushed forward and out the exit. District Two seems much bigger and every large building is well kept and sturdy.

District two; Masonry.

As we approach the Justice Building I see a huge crowd no bigger than the ones in the other districts, but each person stands out on their own.

"Keep it moving." the Peacekeeper hisses.

I glance at Sasha who gives me a reassuring smile, and for once I am grateful for her excessive happiness. Olin elbows me hard in the side as we mount the stage and I realize I never prepared my speech for this District.

"Make it up as you go along." Olin whispers and then sits down in the chair.

Thousands of fiery eyes stare up at me as I walk towards the microphone and all of the haze in my brain comes rushing back.

"Come on Victor, talk." a tall, muscular blond boy sneers.

I clear my throat and rough applause erupts from the crowd.

"This year's Games were very well crafted by the Capitol, do you agree?" I ask the crowd.

"Yes." most of the crowd shouts in unison.

"Well, I conquered those obstacles and I stand before you today as the newest Victor from District Six, Conan." I bellow proudly, forcing back all other emotions. "It took strength, smarts, and skill to win; and I had all three. I stood on that Cornucopia and claimed Victory."

Many of the men and women are looking at me like I'm a joke and their own children should've won, but one lady is crying, only one. Her eyes are large and a milky grey, pouring tears. She was Kodiak's mother, I'm almost certain.

"There was one Career that showed real strength in the Arena though, up until the end." I finish boldly; sparking many angry replies and swears from the murderous, rough crowd.

I look out there and see the grey eyed woman crying harder, but quietly so as not to attract attention. She knew who I was talking about.

"Thank you Victor; that will be all." the woman in the seat on the opposite side of the stage says sharply.

The Peacekeepers walk up behind us and lead us off of the stage and back to the marble clad station. Sasha and Olin share a look of bewilderment and I know I'll be questioned when I set foot inside.

"What in heaven's name gave you the idea to say such foolish things?!" Sasha asks in a fluster. "You know better than anyone here Kodiak was the biggest controversy with the Careers in these Games and numerous others!"

"I saw her." I say simply

"Who exactly?" Olin asks, still shell-shocked.

"Kodiak's mom. I know it was her and I knew it was the right time to say that." I say confidently. "Doubt me all you want, but the problem hasn't left Districts One and Two and it won't follow us back to District Six."

"How can you be so sure?" Sasha asks sharply.

"I never even said his name." I say before walking over to the couch.

It is getting late and the sun is dipping low on the horizon. I made it through the District that brought up the most painful memories and now I have a lump in my throat that I can't swallow. Kodiak was the one who turned on Cambria in the first place and injured her arm, and my contempt towards him is unspeakable. He beat me black and blue with his bare hands and was preparing to pull a knife on both of us when Avan killed him.

"Hey Conan, are you ok?" Olin's tone is cool now and he seems worried.

"No, but I'll hold it up until I get to the Victor's Village." I reply, forcing in the whimper.

Olin will never be my friend. I'll always see him as the mentor who shouted at my best friend the day of the Games, and not the eighteen-year-old boy who from now on I'll have more than enough in common with. We will stay mentor-to-mentor in my eyes. Never more and never less.

"We'll be in District One in ten minutes and I want Conan to rehearse before this time." Sasha calls from another car of the train.

"Remember, don't give them any fire and this time tell about you barely dodging the berry juice wave, that is skill and strength right there." Olin claps me on the bad shoulder that, even after all the work, still has residual pain when touched.

"Ouch!" I cringe at this and grab my shoulder.

"I forgot about the pain on contact, sorry." Olin apologizes.

"That's fine; it's not the first time it's happened." I admit and force a grin through it all.

The train pulls to a stop at the final destination before District Six and I step out onto the glassy marble platform of the District One station. A set of Peacekeepers are waiting by the archway that leads to an elaborate District that seems to sparkle every time one of the remaining rays of sunlight touches it. The buildings here are sturdy as well and very well kept, but everything here has a touch more elegance than in District Two.

The Justice Building is cut out of the same white marble and there are carvings in the sides and ivory climbing up the walls. The mass of people in front of it is very similar to the one in District Two. I pick up the pace a little, climb quickly onto the stage, and prepare to address the people right away.

"Hello! I'm Conan, this year's Victor from District Six." I begin confidently. "The Games this year were tricky and full of unexpected traps like a giant wave of berry juice."

A little laughter and some applause from the crowd.

"Well, I got caught right in front of the wave and was nearly pummeled, but I jumped out of the way just in time. That took skill and confidence." I continue. "It wasn't at all easy, but I fought through with weapons, wits, and my own two hands."

The crowd begins to clap for a few seconds and then they stop and return to their hard and judgmental stares.

"Thank you." I say before taking my seat.

I didn't look through the crowd to match appearances because not one person stood out to me. They all looked like people trained in fighting since the day they could walk. No huge gray eyes and no mirror images in the mass of Careers and adults that missed their chance in the Games.

"Thank you Victor, you are free to go." a frail man sitting near Olin announces in a hoarse voice.

We stand up and so do the two young looking Peacekeepers that lead us back to the station and the train. My tour is over and all that's left is to return to District Six, to my new home in the Victor's Village.

End