Memory

Gojyo's shoulder blades itched in a way that made him already regret turning his back on the Seiten Taisei. Thus far he had nobly fought off the urge to actually look behind him. Sure, no one would see his spinelessness (except for that creepy frilled lizard that had been staring at him for a while) but it was also a useless waste of energy. The desert trek was already sapping his strength and he just had to be wearing a black coat which attracted heat the way he picked up chicks. Which reminded him of how hot and thirsty he was. He took another swig from his canteen.

A distant sound whistled through the distance. Was the wind or was that a vroom?

No, either the mirages had started or that was the sound of a car motor. Theoretically it could be anyone driving out here, but Gojyo was pretty sure only Hakkai could manage to hit that many bumps in a flat desert. He took off in a run.

By following the unholy noise of rocks being crushed, small animals stampeding for their lives, and monks explicitly blaspheming, he was quickly get within sight of a white jeep. Charging straight towards it, he could soon make out Sanzo in the front, scowling over the dashboard. Hakkai's smile looked even more maniacal than usual, and there was something that looked like a silver coronet on his head.

Moving a little to the side until he was no longer directly in the path of the rampaging jeep, he cupped a hand over his mouth and shouted their names as he ran. "Hakkai! Sanzo! Wait up! I'm talking to you, baldie!"

It wasn't until the first bullet whizzed past his ear that he remembered why his old friends might not immediately recognize him.

Screeching to a halt, he held his hands in the air and shouted, "Wait, stop, it's me, Gojyo, I swear, I can explain!"

Hakkai hit the brakes so hard that Sanzo toppled over the front of the jeep. Gojyo snickered, "Nice one, 'Kai."

Unfortunately, Hakkai didn't seem to be listening. "Now, now, Sanzo, that doesn't look like a yokai, or at the very least not a crazy one. You can relax your trigger finger."

"Hell yes he can! Why is it only when I'm meeting you from this perspective that I realize what total psychopaths we are?"

Hakkai shot him a puzzled look, "And you, err, mister…are you by any chance a relative of a yokai named Dokugakuji?"

"Um, Hakkai? It's me, Gojyo."

Hakkai looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Another copy. And not even a good one. Shoot him, Sanzo."

"This is for looking like the damn kappa who got himself lost in a fucking desert and made me take valuable time to look for him twice." Sanzo coolly took aim and fired—right at Gojyo's forehead.

Squawking as he frantically dodged bullets, Gojyo shouted, "Wait, wait, wait! Hakkai, would anyone else know that you hate it when I use cans as ashtrays?"

Sanzo and Hakkai exchanged glances.

"Or what about how the first time I met both of you? Hakkai, you were lying on the road with your guts pouring out. Sanzo, you kneed me in the stomach. Oh, and you both act like bitchy little girls when it rains. That good enough?"

"Well, he's still the idiot who made us detour for him…" Sanzo said, raising his gun again.

"Hey, this time you ditched me! Not my fault." He jumped to the side from habit as the gun went off. At least this time it wasn't aimed to actually hit him. Progress: always slow where Sanzo was concerned.

Hakkai asked, "Gojyo, what happened to you?"

"Gods, I don't know where to begin. First of all, the monkey is still running crazy without the headband. I'm sorry."

"Of all the incompetence…" Sanzo muttered.

"And he's really not going to be as easy to stop this time. Really. He's gone crazy in a new and exciting way—he's the one who dyed my hair, no seriously. And my eyes."

"Your eyes," Hakkai muttered, looking at him with serious apprehension.

"Psh. More easily fixed than his regrettable fashion sense."

"Hey, I kind of like this coat, droopy-eyes!"

"What's that on your forehead?" Sanzo demanded.

"Ah, that. I think it might be some sort of holy mark. Sanzo, do you know what it is?"

Sanzo reloaded his gun in a heartbeat and aimed it straight at his head. "If some fool made you a Sanzo, I swear I'm going to put a bullet through your forehead."

"Hey, hold your fire, Your Holiness! It was your damn monkey that did this!"

"Mmmm, maybe you'd better start at the beginning," Hakkai said.

Sanzo took a drag of his cigarette. "So in conclusion, you ate some funny desert fruit and spent the last couple days hallucinating instead of getting the monkey's limiter back on. Useless."

"That's not what happened at all! Just because you don't know what's going on doesn't mean you get to pretend you don't think any of it happened!"

Hakkai said, "Sanzo, your explanation fails to justify the obviously unnatural changes in Gojyo's appearance and attire."

"Speaking of which, Hakkai, why are you wearing a crown?"

"Oh, I became the King of a small city-state in this area that has some interesting laws concerning trial by combat. It's really a very dull story compared to what you've been through, I'm sure."

Sanzo tapped on Jeep's dashboard. "There's really only one way to get to the bottom of this, and that's to go to this supposed cave and see for ourselves."

"There's nothing supposed about it, damn it! And haven't you been listening to me? I don't think a full frontal assault will cut it this time!"

"You mean we might have to coordinate our efforts into something resembling teamwork?" Hakkai suggested.

"No, we'd still get our asses handed to us! I'm saying we can't take him on in a straight fight!"

"Ah-ha, then you think we should use our group's other specialty, subterfuge."

There was a long moment. Then they all burst out laughing.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Gojyo said, "Aw, who am I kidding? We'll just charge in the same as always. Jeep, you stay out of the fighting, so that I can throw these two idiots in the backseat and escape once it all goes sour."

Jeep rumbled in agreement.

Sanzo said, "Just so you know, if you manage to get left behind this time, there is no way in hell I am coming back for you."

"Yeah, yeah, heard it before, Sanzo-sama. Look, can I borrow some of your bullets for this stupid useless gold revolver?"

"What, your shakujou isn't good enough for you?"

"About that…uh, Hakkai, why don't you really press down on the gas?"

"If you've lost one of the temple's sacred treasures, you goddamn cockroachhhhhhhh-"

"Ah-ha, isn't this fun? Jeep, watch out for that cactus, please."

Sanzo stormed through the cave entrance, deliberately kicking up dust as he walked. Hakkai followed more sedately, Hakuryu curled around his neck in dragon-form. Gojyo trailed after, muttering, "Sure, let's charge straight in. Not that it will make the slightest difference since the creepy bastard can smell us a mile off. What ever made me think that you two would be any better at subtlety?"

The cave was pretty much as Gojyo remembered it—still the dented furniture, jumbled piles of books, creepy statues toppled over, and broken junk in the cart. The only difference was that the Seiten Taisei was gone.

"Hnn. So I see nothing so far to justify your wild delusions, kappa."

Gojyo waved his arms. "Look at the cave! The books! Look at that stupid desk! Any of this come across as a little creepy to you?"

"Oh, is that a signed edition from Wu Cheng'en?" Hakkai asked. He began to flip through the book in question, and look of absorption on his face. There went Gojyo's only sane man.

The cave wasn't that big—a quick perusal was enough to confirm there was no one but the three of them (plus dragon) inside. Gojyo checked under the blankets and inside the cart just in case, because the Seiten Taisei had a creepy sense of humor.

"Well, you lot are about half an hour too late."

The sudden voice sent Gojyo jumping out of his skin—and crashing backwards into a pile of books, which toppled over as if it had been deliberately placed with only one book on the bottom. Sanzo snickered at his discomfort as he struggled out from under the mess, while Hakkai made vague motions with his hands as if helping while his eyes remained fixed on his precious book.

And perched on top of Goku's cart, sitting on the handle as if it was a boyar, was the Merciful Goddess Kanzeon Bosatsu, in all her silk-bikini glory.

"You gods shouldn't do that. It's bad for us poor mortals' nerves." Gojyo glared as he tried to extract himself without stepping all over the spines of open books.

"Us poor mortals? I wonder about that, Kenren. Mind and body are linked and all that."

"Oh, yes, cryptic divine babble. You're not very original, I already got that nickname from psycho-Goku. Speaking of which, I don't suppose you know what he's up to, and would be willing to lend us a hand with the simian retrieval?"

Sanzo gave her a flat look. "Just point us towards the monkey and we'll take of him. No need for you to do anything."

"Wait a second, Sanzo-sama. If you've been paying attention to anything I've said, you might realize that we could use some help!"

"I'll pay attention when you stop being an idiot, idiot."

"Why you…!"

The merciful goddess laughed, a long deep sound like a dam breaking over a hapless town. In one swift motion she leapt from the top of the cart to land in from of Sanzo, a small white piece of paper fluttering down next to her. "You might want to reconsider your stance, Genjo Sanzo, 31st of China. The Great Sage's power has only ever equaled that of heaven in theory, but now he is rapidly climbing in that direction. Certainly he is far beyond the reach of a handful of fallen deities. Your only hope lies not in your gun but in the small odds he still hears your voice."

Hakkai finally closed his book, and raised his hand slightly. "Excuse me, Miss Goddess? A question? If, as Gojyo conjectured, the Seiten Taisei does in fact become stronger the longer he is left unrestrained, then why did you and the rest of heaven ignore him until now?"

"Ah. Well, you see, I was unavoidably detained by some important business."

"How about, say, the three aspects?"

"Also regrettably distracted. A matter was raised which drew the attention of much of heaven."

Hakkai raised an eyebrow.

"Very important business," Kanzeon repeated, quickly stooping to pick up a flyer which read, "All-Heaven Mahjong Tournament! There can only be one winner!"

The goddess said, "So look. The Seiten Taisei got loose and has invaded heaven for complicated motives involving who locked who in a cave for five hundred years. No one else seems to have much luck dealing with him so I'm willing to give you lot a shot. You have a great winning record with the Seiten Taisei despite generally being outmatched in strength, and if worse comes to worse the world is already doomed. I'm the only way you're going to manage to travel to heaven, so you can either accept my offer or give up."

"Mm. Speaking for myself, I believe you are withholding critical information," Hakkai said.

The Kanzeon Bosatsu raised her hand, and a shimmering purple portal appeared in the air. "There's your entrance, take it or leave it. It will remain for one hour; you have that time to decide."

Sanzo bit out, "I don't need a fucking hour. Get out of my way."

From behind the veil, a deep voice called out, "My lady, where are you? You were supposed to be at the emergency meeting ten minutes ago!"

"I'm coming, Jiroushin, don't get your panties in a bunch. It's not as though I'm missing any actual action." The goddess sauntered through the portal. "Oh, and Kenren, you might try to call your weapon again when the Seiten Taisei isn't around. It's still recovering from the emotional trauma." With that, she disappeared.

"What? You did do something to the temple's treasure, you goddamn cockroach!"

Gojyo edged rapidly towards the portal. "Well, what are we waiting for? We've got a monkey to rescue!"

"Get back here this-"

The first thing that Gojyo noticed about heaven was that bullets did not follow him through the portal. The next was that he was standing on a wood platform raised over a lily garden. Off to his right was an elaborate metal door carved with flowers. Something about the scene raised a feeling of déjà vu, almost a memory—he'd come here looking for someone. A Sanzo with longer hair, who had bribed him with sake to generate an emergency so he could cut his meeting with his aunt short. But Sanzo didn't have an aunt, and when Gojyo started remembering that he'd also come here for a session of dirty poetry with someone who looked like the Merciful Goddess he told his brain to stop being silly.

Sanzo arrived mere instants later and Hakkai was right behind him. Having crossed through the portal, Sanzo's mood adjusted to serious and he kept his gun trained on the door instead of Gojyo. Hakuryu flew in and landed on Hakkai's shoulder.

"The only noticeable exit appears to be that metal door," Hakkai noted. "Aside from this portal, and we might want to remember where that is even if…oh wait, it's gone."

"Then get a move on," Sanzo said.

The door opened into a long hallway, elaborately decorated with candles, incense, and carvings of animals and people with marks on their foreheads.

"Which way?" Gojyo asked.

"Follow the sound of screaming, idiot," Sanzo advised.

In the faint distance, there was the sound of someone shouting and heavy footsteps. "You're probably right," Gojyo admitted. "Are you coming, Hakkai?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, give me a second. Thank you from stopping me from walking into the wall, Hakuryu."

"Put down that goddamn book. If you're slow I'll leave you behind." With that, Sanzo broke out in a hard walk that had them both scrambling to catch up.

But as they rounded the corner, what they glimpsed approaching was a neat column of soldiers, marching in line as someone in the front shouted orders. On unspoken agreement all three quickly ducked back. Hakkai's book and crown disappeared somewhere in the recesses of his sleeves as he straightened to attention.

"Seeing how we aren't looking for confrontation with these individuals, we might avoid them?" Hakkai suggested. Sanzo grunted his agreement.

Unfortunately, they were a little too slow. As they retreated around the last corner, someone shouted, "Halt and be identified!"

The ironic part was, it was usually very hard to get Sanzo to run away from anything. But telling him to "halt" was like shoving a stick into the wrong end of a mule. No one told Sanzo to do anything.

"Does anyone know where we're going?" Gojyo panted as he ran.

"Regrettably, no. But then, we didn't know where we were to begin with, so we can't get lost," Hakkai said.

"I was worried about the dead end straight ahead," Gojyo admitted as they came to a crashing halt in front of a vase of flowers sitting on an end table, decoratively sprucing up the hallway that went absolutely nowhere.

Hakkai said, "Look at that tile pattern on the wall! I do believe that's an example of Verdang's secret door. Do you think we have time to solve the puzzle?"

"Maybe if you're very fast," Sanzo suggested sarcastically. The pounding of boots announced the entire horde bearing down on them.

Gojyo lifted his unfamiliar revolver in his hand. "Got any advice besides point and shoot, oh gun-master?"

"Try not to shoot your own foot, kappa."

The soldiers bore down on them at a speed best suited for trampling, then stopped a few feet away, raising spears as a barrier to easy escape. Gojyo held back, unwilling to fire first given that they were intruders and they might be able to talk their way out using the Merciful Goddess' name.

The uniformed man at the front of the column said, "You have five seconds to identify yourselves before—oh, General Kenren, I didn't recognize you."

"Hi?" Gojyo said uncertainly.

"I suppose it would take something as batshit insane as this mess for them to rescind your banishment. Were you trying to sneak into the meeting late again?" He winked at Gojyo.

"Is that a human?" Someone behind him asked loudly. "And a yokai?"

"They must have let you bring along some servants. Try not to flaunt your conquests in front of the whole court; they already don't like you very much."

Gojyo expected the only thing saving this situation from erupting into bloodshed was that Sanzo was temporarily frozen while his brain tried to decide whether being called Gojyo's "servant" or a "conquest" was the worst insult. Gojyo put on his best bluff face and nodded in what he hoped was a commanding manner, worried that if he opened his mouth he'd ruin it due to not having the same voice as this Kenren person.

"Good to see you again, general. Watch out for the spike trap, it's new. Men, about march!"

The retreat was as efficient as the chase had been. Within minutes they were alone in the hallway.

"What just happened there?" Sanzo demanded.

There was a loud click, and the flower vase dropped straight into the ground. A long metal spear shot from the hole and embedded harmlessly in the ceiling. With a creaking noise, the wall began to rise, to reveal a long flight of stairs.

Hakkai said, "I solved the puzzle."

They still had no idea which way to go, but a secret door rather begged to be investigated. Particularly since Sanzo suspected that if there was an "important meeting" going on at the other end, then Kanzeon Bosatsu might be there, and he could give her a piece of his mind. (And ask her for directions, Hakkai cheerfully added.)

The fact that this involved climbing a shit-load of stairs was something that the great Sanzo-sama might not have counted on. He'd never really gotten a decent break after the desert, but no way Gojyo was going to collapse of exhaustion before the other two, and so they kept going.

At the top of the stairs was a short hallway, then a massive iron door with pair of regally dressed guards in front. "Watching a secret passage? Seems unnecessary," Gojyo commented.

"It also wasn't very effective," said Hakkai, walking over and checking the motionless bodies for any sign of life. It took no more than a glance to see this was futile, because nothing could be alive once the heart had been removed.

"Something's ripped the lock clean off the door," Sanzo commented as he approached, hand tight on his gun.

There was no real need to kick the door in because it had a person-sized hole already, as Hakkai pointed out, but Sanzo did it anyway.

The scene inside was one of total carnage. A wide room opened into a long oval table, and each of the figures around it lay sprawled over the table in some bloody manner. A few had made it away from their seats, but most had died sitting, indicating that either it had happened very fast or they hadn't put up much of a fight. Despite a few missing heads, on many faces Gojyo was deeply unnerved to see a mark identical to the one now on his forehead.

The doors on the other end of the room were littered with guards sprawled over the metal wreckage, indicating that they at least had fought back.

And at the far end of the room, sitting on a magnificent jade throne, was a dead man in a white robe, sprawled gaping with his intestines hanging out of his body.

An odd memory twisted through Gojyo, of kneeling before this throne while trying to hide his snicker at something Tenpou had said, but the man's face had been different, and when he blinked the vision was gone.

"Nothing here is alive," Hakkai said softly.

"You don't think this was done by…?" Gojyo asked.

"This is none of our concern. We should focus on finding Goku," Sanzo snapped.

Gojyo didn't reply, but he thought he might have more reason than the rest to be able to see the truth behind this situation. The Seiten Taisei had told him that it wanted the gods dead. The creature hadn't struck him as being the type to bluff.

"Scared, kappa?" Sanzo demanded.

"Of dying with you? Definitely." Gojyo drew his revolver. "Luckily that isn't happening. Let's go, we have a monkey to catch."

It was hard to avoid stepping in blood as they moved out of the broken doors, but it wouldn't be the first time they'd kept journeying while stepping over corpses, and likely wouldn't be the last.

"Are you sure you will be alright, not joining the Emperor inside his safe house?" Jiroushin asked.

Kanzeon Bosatsu shrugged his/her shoulders. "They're all fools. Safe is likely to be far far away from the man who's first order upon ascending the throne was to execute Konzen, Kenren, and Tenpou."

"Who, by the way, were supposed to be banished from heaven no matter how many times they reincarnated. Are you quite certain that they're going to make this situation better?"

"Little in life is a certainty. That is what makes it interesting to live, particularly when those three are around."

Jiroushin raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're not doing this just because the Jade Emperor ordered you to lose the mahjong finals to him?"

"I'm the goddess of mercy, Jiroushin. That means I only do what strikes me as most entertaining at any given moment."

"You might be missing the definition of mercy, my lady."

"Fool. It's the mortals who have it wrong. Mercy is the gift of life, and there's nothing gentle or kind about that."

They set off following a trail of red stains and the occasional property damage, down a hallway that was a little too narrow for Jeep to fit (and yes, Hakkai would have cheerfully driven around indoors if given the opportunity.) Once they'd heard the sound of shouting behind them, and Sanzo had started walking faster in a not-running sort of way and the other two had followed suit.

Hakkai had speculated aloud that the scene inside must be relatively new and was only just being discovered. He had also commented that at the moment, with blood on their clothes, they might look like killers, ha-ha.

Hakkai liked tempting fate a little too much. Gojyo was fairly sure that it was either him or the Merciful Goddess who had arranged for them to pass by an open window at the same time an entire army of guards walked by. Sanzo hadn't exactly made things any better by flipping a cigarette butt out the window just in time to land on someone's head.

"You know, they'd have already caught us if they'd come through the window. Going around for a side door clearly took up too much time," Hakkai said as they bolted down the corridor at top speed.

"We're losing the trail," Sanzo complained.

"Well, why don't you go back and politely ask them not to trample on our evidence, Sanzo-sama?"

"Your open mouth makes you run slower, kappa."

"The same thing is true for you!"

"Oh look, they seem to have gotten in front of us as well," Hakkai said, stepping aside with a bright smile so that Sanzo and Gojyo sped past him straight into the arms of the waiting heavenly army. Sanzo managed to stop himself in time by using Gojyo's body as a springboard. Gojyo fell flat on his face.

"Halt in the name of the Jade Emperor! We demand that you submit peacefully to arrest and hand over the baby dragon you've taken hostage! Any deviation from our orders will justify extreme force!"

Gojyo quickly scrambled to his feet, and when his shakujou still wouldn't return to his hand, he fumbled loose the golden revolver.

He was almost eye to eye with the leader of the procession, a wide soft-cheeked man with a divine mark on his forehead wearing a white uniform, who sneered at him and said, "Someone seize this—uh…Kenren?"

"Um," Gojyo said, preparing himself to duck a thousand spears.

"G-g-general Kenren, it's been a long time. I just want you to know that I had nothing to do with that attack on you from behind in the courtyard. In fact, I had nothing to do with any attacks, I was away at the time. Visiting my family. Because I have the highest respect for the Western Army and its General. I think you should be aware that whatever our differences, I never said anything about you to your face-" the god seemed to realize that the soldiers on either side of him had beat a hasty retreat, "And I can see you have this situation under control! I have pressing business elsewhere!"

At the sight of their commander shoving them aside in his haste to leave, the retreat quickly became a flat-out race.

Hakkai said, "Well, that was convenient. Shall we should back-track a little and see if we can pick up Goku's trail?"

Sanzo demanded again, "What just happened?"

Gojyo held up his hands. "I have no idea! Honest!"

"Clearly someone who looks like Gojyo is a person of familiarity here. Or someone who looks like the person the Seiten Taisei chose to disguise him as is. Perhaps someone that Kanzeon Bosatsu also has met, since she's used that name as well."

"General of the Western Army, huh?" Gojyo said.

"Yeah, if you're a general, I'm a paper-loving bureaucrat," Sanzo sneered.

"Get out of my way! Move it, I order you to hold him off, aren't you listening to me? Don't just run away and leave me behind, I come from a very noble lineage!"

"Eeiiiiiiiii! Run for your lives!"

"Idiot, that's General Kenren and there are only seven of us!"

"He's come back from the dead and he's looking for revenge! They must have unsealed him with Gyumaoh!"

"He spotted us! Run!"

After the fifth such encounter, all of their ears were ringing from the constant shouting. When a particularly stupid soldier kicked Sanzo in his haste to get away, the irritable priest emptied an entire chamber of bullets after him and his comrades. It did not seem to improve his temper that the escapees seemed convinced that it was General Kenren who was attacking them.

Hakkai commented, "I don't think it's a good idea to provoke heavily armed men when they're running away. In addition to the ethical quandary of firing on retreating people."

"Hnn," said Sanzo, which in Sanzo-speak meant, "Fool, if I wanted to hit them they'd be already dead."

Their path was much swifter with someone running ahead of them shouting, "He's coming! Run for your lives!" But Sanzo at least didn't seem to appreciate the lack of resistance, judging from the way he was grinding his teeth. If he didn't get to shoot something soon he might turn his gun on Gojyo.

Even Hakkai started to look miffed when someone in a white robe almost trampled him in their efforts to get away from Gojyo. When one of the cries became "Make way for Kenren's party!" Gojyo began to seriously fear for his life.

"As soon as we're done here, you're getting that damn mark removed from your head," Sanzo ordered.

"Aw, does someone not like no longer being the most popular girl at the dance? Since we're all aware that strange men trying to kill you is the only adrenaline rush you ever get…"

"So help me, one more word out of you and I'll see if you make a more effective shield with your mouth sealed-"

Hakkai interrupted, "Excuse me, but does anyone else hear that?"

There was a crashing sound ahead. It was followed by a familiar scream they recognized as a certain not-yokai's version of laughter.

They all broke out into a flat run.

Their pursuit led them to a battered segment of hallway where the building had been completely ripped in two. Entering the broken room through a smashed wall, they emerged into a broad rectangular space. In the center, sitting on a raised platform, was a boy dressed in a long white robe, his hair pulled back in a bun, his eyes wide and vacant as he slumped over the arms of his chair. The image struck Gojyo even stronger this time: he could see the boy a whirling motion of violence fighting enormous beasts, tossing aside armed soldiers, as he drove his sword into his own shoulder, Goku was crying and in the end I couldn't do anything for either of them…

The disorientation was his only excuse for not reacting first to the obvious: the Seiten Taisei raising a clawed hand to slash down at the Merciful Goddess.

The goddess ducked backwards, and kicked him in the stomach with a strength belying her bare feet. The Seiten Taisei recovered quickly, and circled her, growling.

When he finally lunged, she was ready. In a swift movement she flipped him over her shoulder, and planted a hand on his forehead when he landed on the ground. A golden diadem formed around his forehead.

The Seiten Taisei ripped off the limiter in one swift motion, and clamped his teeth down on her outstretched arm.

Yowling in pain, Kanzeon recoiled. After slamming Goku into the floor, the wall, a stray chair, and finally straight through the ceiling, she finally managed to shake him loose, albeit not without losing a fair bit of blood and half her shirt in the process. The Seiten Taisei remained embedded in the ceiling with his head sticking through the roof.

Gojyo asked, "Is it wrong that the whole time crazy Goku was chomping on her arm, I had no desire to help the god lady whatsoever?"

Hakkai said, "I had this odd feeling of déjà vu, as if I was looking at someone who had watched me fight over and over again and never really done anything to help, and to interfere would be disrupting the natural cycle of karma."

Sanzo took a drag of his cigarette. "Hnn." Which in Sanzo-speak meant, "What Hakkai said."

Kanzeon Bosatsu called, "All of you suck!"

"I could have told you the diadem might not work anymore," Gojyo added for good measure.

"That one should have. That was pure divine power…" Gojyo was a bit concerned to see the Merciful Goddess look unnerved. Then she grinned with her usual bitchiness and said, "Well, let's see you take a shot at it."

Unfortunately for her, the Seiten Taisei wasn't taking cues from her dramatic narration. He dropped from the ceiling and jumped onto her back, tearing off a decent-sized chunk of her ponytail.

"Ouch! Look, you damn monkey, it's Konzen! He has nicer hair than me! Fetch!"

Unfortunately, it worked. The monkey got a good look at Sanzo and punted Kanzeon Bosatsu across the room like she was yesterday's trash. Then he pounced.

Gojyo fired off two shots and Hakkai hit him with a blast of chi. The hideous part was that he didn't duck or block their attacks. He simply took the blows and kept coming. With blood seeping out his arm and shoulder, his entire right side smoking, he landed squarely on Sanzo's chest, slamming the monk into the floor. Even as his skin healed over, his clothes continued to drip with spilt blood and exude a sickening stench of burning.

The monk didn't move, didn't call up his sutra. Gojyo couldn't explain it—it wasn't as though Sanzo had any qualms about firing bullets at Goku. He shot at them both for the crime of being noisy on a daily basis. Instinctively, Gojyo refrained from attacking as well.

He would shot again if Sanzo was in danger, of course. But at the moment, the Seiten Taisei was looping a clawed finger around Sanzo's hair. As he tugged on it, it grew in length, falling around Sanzo's face in waves. The Seiten Taisei raised a lock of hair to his face and sniffed deeply.

In a harsh voice, Sanzo said, "I know you're not crazy like last time. I can see it in your eyes. So get up and get the hell off of me. We have a mission to complete and I won't indulge you any more than this. One field trip each to cope with your tragic past is all I'm tolerating from the three of you, and all three are officially over!"

Crazy-Goku reared back as if he'd been slapped.

Sanzo looked him in the eye, still not moving. "If the kappa was right about something for once, and you don't remember anything, then you don't need to. Just follow me."

"Ah…" the Seiten Taisei seemed to have lost human speech again. His clawed hands pulled away.

In a swift jerk of his head, he swiveled around to look at Kanzeon Bosatsu. "Give him back his memories. You took mine away, so you must have been the one who made them forget. Give them all back, right now!"

The Merciful Goddess was scrambling to her feet on the other side of the room, where the wall had a new hole in it. She looked awful—her hair had been ripped off one side of her head and the other was drenched in blood, one of her arms was hanging a little funny, and she seemed to be supporting herself on one foot. Gojyo threw himself across the room towards her, and put an arm under her waist to help her stand up. (Hakkai, he noticed, hadn't moved. He'd made the tactical decision to keep his chi trained on the Seiten Taisei, and Gojyo couldn't blame him for it.)

She said, "I can't do that, Goku. Reincarnation is a little more complicated than what happened to you. If I forced it, the odds are good I'd create two personalities. Or drive them insane."

"Liar. You can do it. You always lie, don't you? Lied to Konzen to make him take me, didn't tell him what I really was. Did you want me to kill him? Or maybe he was your sacrifice. The last village tried to sacrifice a girl to me. They didn't even know why they worshipped me, feared me, but do you? If you did I don't think you would have dared touch what's mine."

"You're the one who's hurting him." There was an edge of tension in Kanzeon's voice, and Gojyo was horrified to realize that at some point during the conversation the Seiten Taisei had wrapped one hand around Sanzo's throat and begun strangling him. Seemingly without even noticing.

Hakkai fired one burst of chi after another, but even when Goku's arm briefly turned into a charred bone his grip didn't budge. When Gojyo tried to leap to help, suddenly it was Kanzeon holding him back, her injured arm unexpectedly strong. Giving up on his attacks, Hakkai shoved a frantic Hakuryu behind him ripped off his limiters, launching his entire body and accompanying vines at the Seiten Taisei.

Kanzeon screamed, "You can't go near him, touching a living thing will make him worse!" But it was too late to reverse a leap in mid-air.

The Seiten Taisei reached out one arm and batted Hakkai away, as his other arm latched onto a vine, then tugged. Hakkai screamed as the vine ripped loose from his flesh. The Seiten Taisei examined the vine with curiosity, and began plucking leaves.

The moment his throat was free gave Sanzo time to react. This time, he called forth the sutra, and it wrapped around Goku.

Gojyo only wished he was surprised when the sutra caught flames. He was genuinely surprised when Sanzo screamed as if he was burning as well.

This was no time to be chivalrous, so Gojyo drove a foot into the Merciful Goddess' bleeding leg injury, then leapt to help Hakkai beat at the flames. Hakuryu frantically flapped his wings on top of the blaze, whimpering in pain.

Kanzeon Bosatsu shouted, "You have to stop, Goku! This isn't like Kenren's weapon—if you destroy the sutra it will take a piece of him with it! Never mind what it will do to the entire lower world; he'll be the first to die. I know why you want to destroy it! You're the gods' opposite, and everything we created you need to destroy. But do you know what that means? You're going to kill all of them! Even though you don't want to! You have to let me seal that power again!"

The flames subsided. The Seiten Taisei muttered. "That's not true. It's all your fault."

The Merciful Goddess managed something resembling a smile. "You're correct on the second point. It is the first Jade Emperor's fault you exist as what you are instead of what you should have been, and the rest of us are to blame for standing idle. But so be it. What are you going to do, whine about it?"

Sanzo croaked, "Like hell. I don't care whose fault it is." He raised a hand, palm-up, to the beast crouched over him. "I'm not sticking around here. I just need to know if you're coming with me or not."

Kanzeon Bosatsu called, "Tough words, from the one who followed him all the way to heaven and seems very unwilling to lower his hand."

"Shut up, hag."

Sanzo's hand remained upraised. In a slow, deliberate motion, the Seiten Taisei lowered his forehead onto that hand.

There was a flash of light, and the golden diadem formed around Goku's forehead.

In a small, weak voice, Goku said, "Sanzo, I feel funny. Really funny. And I tried to strangle you. I didn't forget about it, this time…I'm really really really sorry about that. Really. Are you okay?"

Sanzo stared flatly. "Do I look okay, idiot?"

"Um, is the answer yes because you're tough, or no because I'm stupid?"

"The correct answer is the part where you finally get your worthless carcass off me!" With one fierce whack, Sanzo's fan impacted with Goku's head.

"Sorry!" Goku scrambled off of Sanzo and onto his feet. With one hand, he grabbed onto Sanzo's arm and pulled him to his feet—then fastened his hand on the sleeve of his robe.

"Let go," Sanzo demanded, shaking his arm.

"Sorry. Just let me hold on a little longer, please?"

Sanzo said, "Hnn," which meant "Somewhere deep in my black shriveled raisin of a heart I actually care." (Sanzo-speak, as officially translated by Sha Gojyo.) He then proceeded to look everywhere except at Goku's hand, which officially no longer existed in Sanzo-vision.

Sanzo stooped to gather bits of the Maten Sutra. The damage to the sutra appeared to be repairing itself on its own—it was rather creepy watching broken off bits scuttle across the ground to reattach themselves. Gojyo was about to make a smart remark about how other people couldn't look after their sacred treasures either, but he watched the way Sanzo twitched as if pricked by a needle when each piece reformed, and decided not to say anything. No need to get himself hit by a fan.

Hakkai said to Kanzeon Bosatsu, "All's well that ends well, no doubt. Can we trouble you for another portal out of here? I would hate to take up any more of your time." He had managed to get his limiters back on and was already busy healing Hakuryu's wings, which looked like the worst injury of the four of them. Gojyo himself had wrapped his hands in strips of coat before going at the fire so they were only mildly singed. The damage to the coat was an absolute tragedy.

The goddess shrugged. "Meh. There you go." A wave of her hand, and a portal appeared. "Before you go, a bit of wisdom to share. The bad news is, everything in heaven is going to want to kill you. The good news is, they might be too scared to come near you. Which won't stop them from trying to get at you by sneaky means, so watch your back."

Sanzo snapped, "They need us to get rid of Gyumaoh, right? As long as we're doing their dirty work they can't complain."

"That's a qualification with a time limit, sweetie. Once you're done I wouldn't put it past them to find someone to eliminate you. But I suppose you're relatively safe in the short term. I should also mention that the brat over there still has some rather funny energy in his aura. I would say the seal isn't doing quite the same thing it used to."

Goku said, "I accepted it willingly this time. It's working with my energy instead of against it. And I remember everything. It's all hazy, but it's all there." He did not look overwhelmingly happy about this, but Gojyo couldn't blame him given what he suspected those memories consisted of. Five hundred years in a cave. And lots of killing people. At least the kid was holding it together.

"Don't suppose you can fix this mess?" Gojyo asked, waving his hands. After all, the Seiten Taisei had been able to heal before…

"Possibly," Goku said. Sure enough, Hakkai was able to stop healing Hakuryu when the dragon's wings knitted together on their own. Gojyo's hands stopped aching, and he was rather pleased to see that the leather duster (he liked it, whatever Sanzo might say) was no longer ripped. He wondered if the monkey had forgotten to shorten Sanzo's hair or if he just liked it that way.

Speaking of which… "Goku, could you do the same trick on this black dye?" He tugged at his wrong-colored hair.

Goku looked at his feet. "Maybe. Those memories get, um, hazy, and it's not exactly wrong for you so it might not fix, but I could try."

"Let me do it," Kanzeon Bosatsu offered. The Merciful Goddess was back to her pristine self as well, so whatever she had done in the past must not have gotten too much on Goku's bad side.

Gojyo asked, "Whatever you intend to do, is that going to wipe away the things I've been remembering as well?" He hadn't forgotten that she was apparently the one who sealed Goku's memories.

"It might be a package deal. Trust me, you're better off without the old baggage in your head."

"I'll be the judge of that," Gojyo said. "And I don't let anyone mess around the inside of my head, thanks."

The goddess laughed. "Why am I not surprised?"

Behind her, the broken wall began to repair itself, crumbling upwards out of the dust. It was rather impressive given that Goku didn't even seem to be paying attention. That power could be useful, or dangerous.

"Pity you can't actually bring people back from the dead or anything," the Goddess said. "While I suspect offing most of the Emperor's faction means his rivals will take control, they'll probably feel the need to do something about his demise no matter how little they actually care. I think once I point out that they can't actually seal you anymore, survival will precede pride and they'll find another story to tell which leaves you out of it. But I'd still get out of here right now. Only a matter of time before someone finds their courage or finds someone low-ranking enough to send in here."

"What about Nataku?" Goku pointed at the kid in the chair, who still had the same dead-fish expression on his face.

Kanzeon Bosatsu looked surprised. "No one has paid any attention to him before now, and I don't think that will have any reason to change. He's safe enough here."

Goku said, in a small but firm voice, "No. He's coming with us."

The look Kanzeon gave him was almost pitying, from someone who had little acquaintance with that emotion. "It's his own choice that keeps him here."

"You had your chance to persuade him to wake up. Give me my turn."

The Merciful Goddess raised a hand to her chin and considered. "Well, I suppose the gods can't want to kill you any deader than they already do. Go ahead."

Sanzo said, "Just to clarify, if you want to bring along dead weight, you carry it." He set his shoulders and turned his back, marching forward towards the portal—slowly.

Hakuryu helpfully turned back into a jeep, and Sanzo planted himself in the passenger seat. Hakkai got behind the driver's wheel sluggishly enough to buy Sanzo more time to most definitely not wait for them.

Goku walked over to the kid in the chair and raised a hand towards him, seeming unwilling to touch. Gojyo said gruffly, "Let me."

Together, they managed to lift him into the back seat of Jeep. It was a bit of a squeeze with three in the back, but Gojyo would almost swear that Jeep widened his seats a little to accommodate.

They dove straight through the portal and hit the desert on the other side at full speed, thanks to Hakkai's insane driving. At least one cactus died a tragic and pointless death before Jeep managed to find the road again.

In the backseat, Gojyo tried calling his shakujou again and was pleased that it responded. It was still a tad dented and had a tendency to tremble when waved too close to Goku, but that could be dealt with later. He'd never quite gotten the hang the revolver, and besides, he might want to pawn the gold at some point.

Goku poked at the skull fastener on his coat. "I really like that. It looks cool."

"Finally, someone who appreciates fashion! Yes, I'm keeping that. Hakkai, you can sell off all my old outfits—and don't even mention that clown costume."

Goku added, "Seriously, Gojyo, I will try to find a way to fix your hair. Although, would you mind waiting until the next time we run into Kougaiji and the others? I really want to see how they react!"

"Huh, well on closer examination I've concluded that I look gorgeous no matter what, so it really doesn't matter."

"Funny, your reflection makes me feel nauseous."

"Sanzo-sama, have I mentioned that you also look lovely with your long wavy locks of flowing hair? The perfect complement to that damsel-in-distress thing you have going."

A bullet was fired. Hakkai called, "Sanzo, please don't try to cut your hair off by shooting it. You'd have to empty several cartridges before you'd make any progress. I have a pair of scissors in the dashboard, if you'll just give me a minute."

"Hakkai, we're going off the side of the road!"

"Ooh, is that a meat bun in there? Can I have it?"

"I think I deserve the meat bun, monkey. I've had the lousiest day here."

"You've had the worst day? You were useless this whole time, kappa!"

"Yeah, unlike a certain monk who went down with one hit and was strangled with his own magic scarf…Hakkai, watch it with the scissors!"

"Ha ha, sorry about that. You know, I've been thinking about applications of the Seiten Taisei's abilities, and in the right circumstances hair growth could prove most incapacitating on enemies."

"Hakkai! That's a cliff! Look out!"

Much later that night, when they had all eaten and squabbled to their hearts' content, they let the fire become embers and laid out blankets across the ground. They didn't have a tent—normally they would have found an inn, but Hakkai had mentioned that in the nearest town forward he and Sanzo "might be a tad unwelcome" and Goku had mentioned that the people in the town behind "might think I'm a god, but maybe we shouldn't go back in case I can't awe them anymore and they want all their stuff back." And so tonight they were sleeping under the stars.

Hakkai had found a spare blanket for Nataku, who remained rigidly in a sitting position despite efforts to lie him down. Goku placed a meat bun down next to him in case he woke up in the night and was hungry, because, "I don't think he's eaten in 500 years either."

Gojyo remained awake, sitting by the fire's embers and smoking. It wasn't that he had insomnia so much as that he wasn't ready to sleep. Images kept dancing through his mind, and he was determined to hold on to them for as long as they lasted. He might remember something useful. In the past five minutes alone he had remembered two poems and gotten a better grasp of how to fire a long gun, along with some stuff about commanding armies that he wasn't likely to ever use but might impress the ladies in a bar.

The night was peaceful enough, and he'd always liked to view the stars from this realm. In heaven it just wasn't the same—they never moved and didn't have interesting names.

To his right, there was a slight noise of cloth rustling. He turned his head to see Nataku stir, and open his eyes.

In a moment he'd shout, wake Goku up, see if he could help Hakkai find any other leftover food, and act as a scapegoat to distract Sanzo from taking out his crankiness on the newcomer. But first he stubbed out his cigarette and held out his hand.

"Welcome to the world, kid. It's going to be fun."

The End (for real.)