Kaidan Alenko pressed his fists into the small of his back and stretched, relishing the pain as his muscles unknotted. He rolled his neck and dragged his forearm across his brow, wiping away layers of sweat and grime. As he did so he couldn't help but see the changes under his skin. When the sun shone on exposed flesh at just the right angle the network of green filament beneath the skin became visible. The same synthetic network now found in all organic beings.

Leaving his shovel where it was, trust inches into the freshly turned soil, he back away from the garden plot and into the welcome shade of a nearby tree. Its tangled branches cast deep shadows and trapped the cool night air until well into the heat of the afternoon despite not being in full leaf yet. Even being in the best shape of his life, farming was a grueling work. Nothing in his Alliance training had prepared him for this.

He was alone in the garden today. The heat of the late afternoon sun had driven the rest of the crew back to the settlement to work on other various projects. As grueling as the work was, Kaidan was grateful for the moment of solitude. A strange thing considering there were only forty-four other people on the planet.

By some miracle, all aboard had survived the crash on this mysterious planet with its huge, ever present moons. Steve Cortez and the others in the shuttle bay had been lucky to make it out. The rocky outcrop the Normandy had finally settled on had sheered its way through the hull, damaging one shuttle and nearly puncturing the drive core.

Yet, even the hulking dog mech had crawled out of the twisted mess of metal.

It had taken about a week for the reality of their situation to fully sink in. No one was coming for them. The entire crew had looked to him for guidance. Military rank still held sway in those early days, and he'd taken on the challenge gladly.

The ship was intact enough that for the first few weeks they stayed in the vicinity of the crash, but as food stores got low and local flora seemed to provide little in the way sustenance, they'd been forced to make a move.

Finding a location had been easy once they'd managed to extract the undamaged shuttle. Cortez, Kaidan and Liara had flown in a series of every widening circles around the crash site to get the lay of land. The terrain reminded Kaidan of parts of China. Long river valleys divided by high jagged peaks in long lines leading east towards an ocean they could just see in the distance.

They discovered the ship had come to rest only a few kilometers above a natural plateau of arable land halfway down a south facing slope. It had taken them only days to forge a usable path to the plateau and Kaidan had begun directing work on a settlement immediately.

Though the crew of the Normandy had been largely technical staff aboard only for the retrofit, many of them had been trained in multiple disciplines over the course of their careers. One woman, Catherine Hogan, who had been working on the ships life support systems, had originally trained in horticulture hoping to move to a colony one day, and Kaidan had put her in charge of a crew of ten to work on food production. Catherine's team had stared by hunting down edible local plant life, even finding several species palatable to turians and quarians, which made Garrus and Tali significantly less fearful about the future. Now, everyone took turns working in the gardens, though some were better suited to it than others.

From under the wide canopy of the bordering tree line Kaidan surveyed all they had accomplished in the last several months and felt truly hopeful for the first time in ages.

He was just about the get back to work when there was a raucous crashing in the underbrush near the path. Instinct sent his hand to this hip for his pistol and he gripped uselessly for moment before he remembered he no longer carried it. There were large predators on the planet, but they'd mostly steered clear of any areas the crew frequented. Kaidan was regretting staying at the gardens alone when Catherine came careening out of the trees and pelted across the fields at top speed.

"Catherine, what's wrong?" he called out as she approached. There was a smear of blood across her cheek and her short, curly hair was in disarray, filled with twigs, and her bare knees were scuffed with dirt.

"Are you all right?" Kaidan reached out to steady her as she came to a shaky halt. She was red in the face and panting, but her blue eyes sparkled with laughter.

"I'm fine," she gasped. "I wiped out on the path. Never mind that. You've got to get back to the camp. Tali did it. She got the comm working?"

"Which comm?"

"The only comm that matters! The quantum communicator. She's reached Earth." She laughed almost hysterically, grinning from ear to ear.

"Holy crap," was all Kaidan could say. He took off at a hard run up the path to the camp. Behind him, he heard Catherine keeping pace. Nobody was going to want to miss this.

They reach the south end of the camp and it took all of Kaidan's will power to slow to a jog as he wove through the tents and stone houses. The approach to the great hall was packed. Everyone was there already and they parted as Kaidan voice boomed for them to make way.

Garrus Vakarian met him at the door as Kaidan and Catherine stepped inside.

"You certainly made good time, Cat," he patted Catherine one the shoulder as she put her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath. "Grab a drink. There's no one to talk to yet."

He turned to Kaidan. "I don't know how Tali did it, but that girl is a genius."

"Has there been a reply? Can we really talk to Earth?" Kaidan tried to bring his sober frame of mind back to the forefront. He didn't want to get his hopes up.

"We've pinged a relay on Earth and got an automated message in reply. If someone is still monitoring the stations we should have a response soon."

They walked through the tables and benches of the mess hall and towards the labs in the back. Garrus paused outside the door and leaned his tall frame against the wall, crossing his arms.

"Kaidan, are you ready for this?" he asked quietly in his deep, two-toned voice. "We have no idea what we might hear."

"Garrus, I've been ready for this for months. It's killing me, not knowing what happened to..." He caught himself and finished with, "Earth."

Garrus knew what he really meant was Shepard, but he tactfully refrained from saying anything.

"I know. We'd all like to know what happened. Tali said she could route the image to a screen in the hall so everyone can watch. Good idea? Or bad?"

Kaidan dragged his hands down his grimy face and sighed deeply.

"Hard to say. Everyone deserves to be part of this, but who knows how long this connection with last. We can't waste it."

Garrus nodded, his mandibles twitching slightly.

"I think everyone understands that. Keep it professional and I don't think anyone will complain too much."

Wishing he had time to clean himself up and get into the uniform he hadn't donned since the crash, Kaidan gripped the doorknob and entered the lab.

The huge room had been the first building they'd erected. He and Liara, using their biotics, had helped raise the massive stones that made up the walls. The roof and floor were salvaged plating from the Normandy protecting all their most sensitive equipment from the ship. As such, the such the room had no windows. Karin Chakwas' medical suite occupied the south wall, while EDI's mainframe took up the entire north portion of the space. Moving her had been a challenge, but well worth it considering the knowledge she contained. The rest of the space was filled with workbenches cluttered with tools and plans and blueprints. Tali had cleared space against the back wall for the remains of the quantum communicator and had been working on it in all her spare hours.

Kaidan had never expected it to work again. There had been significant damage to the rear of the ship and they didn't exactly have a source for spare parts.

Closing the door softly behind him, Kaidan stepped into a room filled with the iridescent blue light cast by the holographic projectors in the relay. His breath caught in his throat and he had to fight away the reminder of their situation; the fact that their technology was only going to go backwards for the rest of his life.

"Kaidan, you're here," Tali called from the console beside the comm. "I'm still waiting for a response."

He putted a hand on her shoulder and turned her away from the orange light of he computer and hugged her tightly.

"Tali, have I ever told you how amazing you are?"

She laughed and hugged him back.

"If there is one thing quarians are good at, it's salvage and repair. I knew I could do it, but I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up."

They broke apart and turned to look at the round, glowing panel on the floor. The barely restrained tension and anticipation in the air was palpable. A millions doubts ran through Kaidan's mind. What if earth was a smoking ruin? What if there was no one left to answer their call? What if the Crucible hadn't worked after all?

Both of them jumped when a static filled imaged leaped into existence above the panel. Neither of them spoke while Tali cleaned up the signal and brought the figure into focus.

As it cleared, Kaidan stood to attention and snapped out a sharp salute.

"Admiral Hackett, it's damn good to see your face, sir." Kaidan couldn't restrain a grin.

"Major Alenko, you're a sight for sore eyes," Hackett said as he saluted in return. "Where are you Major? When we didn't find the Normandy after the battle we feared the worst."

"All crew survived, Admirable, but we're stranded. Joker managed to get us through the mass relay, but we crashed when that energy wave hit us, and we have no idea where we are. The skies don't match any know star charts."

Hackett's face was grim. "Alenko, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but there won't be a rescue. The relays were destroyed. Every last one of them from what we can tell."

"We figured as much, sir," Kaidan said calmly even as his heart sank with disappointment. "What happened? Did we win?"

"Major, there's so much to tell you I'm not even sure where to start. I assume the changes we've found in ourselves, you're finding there too?"

"If by that you mean the fact that we all appear to now have cybernetics, then yes."

"And the geth here on Earth appear to have developed some organic parts. No idea what that's all about, but seeing as we're all now essentially the same, it's really cut down on the arguing."

"We've seen some benefits here as well. Joker's disease has been significantly lessened, and it would seem that our dextro-amino based crew are having a much easier time than we expected adapting to the new environment."

It was then that Tali jumped in. She stepped up beside Kaidan and saluted. "Admiral Hackett. Tali-Zorrah vas Normandy. I apologize for the interruption, but Kaidan is far too polite and I'm sure you can guess what the burning question is. Shepard... did she make it?"

The Admiral took his hat from his head and Kaidan's heart sank. A military man only removed his cap for one reason.

"The Commander didn't survive. Whatever she did on the Citadel saved us all, but we were unable to find her body in the wreckage. We can only guess that she was incinerated in the explosions that destroyed the station." He paused for a moment, cleared his throat and continued. "I know how close you were to her Kaidan, and I'm sorry to have to tell you this. However, we found Admiral Anderson's body at the console used to open the arms, so you can be sure she didn't die alone."

No one spoke for several moments. Kaidan could tell Tali was crying behind her mask. A lifetime in an environment suit couldn't take away the instinct to wipe away tears.

"Thank you, sir. I can't think of anyone she would rather have been with at the end, and I'm sorry Anderson didn't make it. He was a good man."

Kaidan turned for a moment and watched Tali quietly leave the room. He hoped Garrus was still outside. They would need each other. Pushing away the hurricane of emotions he faced Hackett again.

"So, the Reapers were destroyed? We're safe?"

"That's where things get strange, Major. The Reapers are still alive."

"What?" Kaidan exclaimed, rage soaring to the surface.

"Whatever Shepard did stopped the Reaper attacks. In fact, not only did it stop the attacks, but the Reapers have been communicating with us. It would seem that their memories have been almost entirely wiped. They don't know why they were attacking, only that they had to. Whatever controlled them has withdrawn and they wish to exist peaceably with the rest of the galaxy."

"With all due respect, Admiral," Kaidan ground out between clenched teeth, "that's fucking insane."

"That's exactly what we all said," Hackett replied with a deep sign. Kaidan realized just how old the man looked. He'd always seemed a little long in the tooth, but now it was even more obvious.

"Kaidan, son, I hate to say this and drive the reality home that much more, but it's not your problem anymore. The Reapers have been communicating with all sentient life from what we can tell. The fact that you knew nothing of this tells me that there are none in your system. Consider yourself lucky."

They were each silent for a moment. Neither knowing what to say. Hackett broke the quiet.

"Major, there is no longer a chain of command for you, so don't feel you have to answer this, but I'm curious to know how the Normandy even ended up… where ever you are."

"Not at all, sir," Kaidan fought the urge to stand at attention. Hackett was right; he was no longer a soldier. "When we thought our assault on Reaper beam had failed we fell back and regrouped. Once we realized Shepard had made it to the Citadel, we went back to the Normandy, hoping to make a landing once she got the arms open.

"By the time we got into orbit, the explosions had already begun and we were far too close for comfort. Joker saw an opening and made an emergency jump. That's when we saw the energy wave. We had no idea what it was and thought it was probably better to stay ahead of it. Wishing now we hadn't."

"Alenko," Hackett said with a small laugh. "You and your crew are probably better off than us back on Earth."

Kaidan raise an eyebrow, taken aback by the strange statement.

"With the relays destroyed, every ship in the system is now trapped here. Asari, salarian, turian, krogan, quarian, the works. Working out how to share Earth has been… challenging to say the least. Thankfully, Shepard is still managing to help us out. Every time things get too heated, all someone has to do is mention her name and that shuts people up real quick. She didn't sacrifice herself so we could all go back to war with each other. It'll all work out in the long run, but it's going to take some doing, and to be honest, I'm just not sure how much I have left in me."

"I'm sorry, sir," Kaidan said a bit breathlessly. "I wish we could help somehow."

There was a sad silence that weighed heavily on both of them. Walls and shields threatened to fall and expose the raw emotions beneath.

"Tell me about humanity's newest colony." Hackett smiled in a way Kaidan had never seen in the old man. It was almost paternal. Kaidan wondered if Hackett had a family somewhere. If they had survived the war.

"Well, sir, it hasn't been easy. Like I said, the entire crew survived the crash. However, we lost two people early on." Kaidan paused, finding it hard to talk about those who'd died on his watch. "The first was a woman who took her own life. Her name was Ai-Wei Lightfeather. She was the only person of Asian descent on the crew. Also the only person of Native American descent. Hard to believe we are even thinking of these things, but it's hard to forget that the few of us will be the ancestors of this colony.

"The next loss was entirely accidental, but even tougher to cope with. A fall from a tree. Olivia Mendez. She was pregnant. Would have been the first child born here."

Kaidan went on for some time. Talking about the building of the camp, stripping the Normandy for parts, researching the seasons and orbit of the planet. EDI was more than pulling weight, using all of her computing power to analyze data and compile the most valuable information into codices. Without her, these things would have taken months to work out.

"All in all, sir, it's been a relatively smooth ride so far. The future is going to be a challenge, but we're all just grateful to be alive."

Hackett nodded in agreement. "Glad to hear it, Alenko. Sounds like things are on your side for once. Now, there is one thing that you can do for me."

"Name it, sir."

"The data was just delivered to me from Alliance Command. We've got information on the families of the crew. You'll be happy to know that your parents are safe and sound in the interior of BC."

"That's the best news I've had in years, sir." Kaidan's heart soared.

"Doesn't look like I'll be able to transmit the information to you over this link. You'll have to copy it down by hand. Still know how to hold a pen?"

Kaidan grabbed a datapad and stylus and got to work. The news was grim, but not as devastating as he'd feared. Many of the crew had lost family. Mostly parents and older relatives, but a few had lost spouses and even children. Kaidan rejoiced at the fact that there were several people who would be receiving good news, including Garrus and Joker.

After the list was complete they continued to share news, talking like old friends and building hope in each other for the future. As the sun began to set, the signal was starting to fade.

"Admiral, seems we're losing the signal at this end. I hope Tali will be able to bring it back up, but..."

"I'll pass the good word on to everyone about your survival. Earth could use the good news."

"It's be a pleasure talking you," Kaidan said with a smile. "I hope we can do it again, Stephen."

Hackett smiled. He can't have heard his first name too often in the winter of his life, but as he'd said, there was no more chain of command, and he deserved to know all his hard work had paid off with friendship.

"One more thing, Kaidan. I don't know if you're a religious man, or if any of your crew are, but I thought you might like to know this. The heads of all major religious groups on Earth have decided to make Shepard a saint. She was a paragon of virtue, integrity and courage. There's never been another like her. I, for one, am proud to have known her."

Kaidan stared at the floor, unable to speak for the lump in his throat. Static filled the air once more and he swallow hard and forced his voice around the blockage.

"Likewise. She was the bravest, fiercest woman I've ever known."

Hackett nodded.

"Until next time, Kaidan. Hackett out."

And with that, the signal dropped and the room went dark. Kaidan stood in the gloom, unsure of what to do next. For months his head had been filled with an endless to do list, his mind constantly prioritizing, delegating and ciphering. Now, it seemed he'd gone blank, and all that was there was the achingly sore memories. He couldn't see the future at all. What came next seemed beyond him.

But Tali's omnitool must have shown her that the connection had been lost and she, Garrus and Joker rushed into the room, crowding around him silently, seeming unsure of what to say.

"I don't know what where to start," Kaidan said quietly.

Joker put a hand on his shoulder.

"Start with the freaky green stuff."

Kaidan gave an amused snort. Leave it to Joker to say something like that and lighten the mood. He wasn't just the best pilot in the galaxy. He was good for so much more.

"Joker, the only thing I can say about that is that it's everywhere. Earth too. And on every other planet they've managed to contact."

Tali took Kaidan by the hand and asked, "Are you ready to talk to everyone, or do you need a moment?"

Kaidan shook his head. "No. I'm not ready, but I have to do this. They deserve to know everything. Garrus, ask everyone to come inside."

Garrus trotted out into the hall and towards the exit. Joker made his way to his way to the tables and Kaidan noticed once again how his limp was disappearing. He moved to follow, but Tali took his elbow in her slender, three-fingered hand and held him back.

He turned to face her and found her without her mask. Her bright eyes glowed with the green tint of synthetics, more so than anyone else's, and bits of jet black hair curled around her neck. She rarely took advantage of her increasingly enhanced immune system, but when she did it was usually when she wanted someone to know the depth of her emotions.

"Kaidan, I just wanted you to know..." she faltered, tears welling up again. "I'm so sorry. About Shepard. She was everyone's friend, but she was your partner. Your lover. I wish I could comfort you and tell you it will be all right, but I know how empty that can sound."

Kaidan wanted to look away, wanted to avoid the topic and save it for a less stressful day, but when Tali took her mask of for you, you maintained eye contact.

"Thanks, Tali."

"If you ever want to talk, you know I will always listen."

He smiled weakly and nodded. She put her mask back on and injected a quick dose of antihistamine into a port in the arm of her suit.

People were filling the tables in the hall when Kaidan took his place at the head of the room, standing in front of Shepard's rescued fish tanks. He looked out over them with mixed emotions. Much of today's news would be bad and it was up to him to find a way to soften it.

He'd hoped there might be some chatter in the room and he'd have a chance to collect himself before starting, but people were silent and air was thick with anticipation.

"Well, people, I've got good and bad news in every department," he began, trying to make eye contact with everyone in the room. "Firstly, and we all knew this was likely to be the case, there will be no rescue. The war is over, but the relays are all gone. But however difficult things may seem here, we're not that badly off."

He told them everything Hackett had reported. The trapped fleets, the state of Earth, the desperation of the people who remained. That was probably going to be the easiest piece of news to deliver. It was something they had all pretty much accepted already. He steeled himself for the next blow.

"Secondly, Shepard didn't make it. The good news is that she saved us all. And not only did she save the galaxy, but apparently she posthumously built bridges between all the religions of earth. They collectively sainted her and have united under a common banner."

Catherine spoke up from the back of the room with wonder in her voice. "So, not only did Shepard cure the genophage, broker peace between the turians, salarians and krogan, and the geth and quarians, and save the rachni, again, but she's probably stopped the religious wars on Earth too? Wow. Just... wow."

Kaidan couldn't help but smile at this. With Shepard, all you'd had to do was add the word impossible or suicide before mission and she'd seen it done.

When the room quieted down again he continued.

"On a similar note, Admiral Hackett was able to provide me with a casualty report and a list of survivors for relatives of the crew. I can either go through it with you now, or I can post it to your personal datapads."

Morgan O'Niall, James Vega's girlfriend, spoke up from her seat next to her hulking partner. "I think we're all going to need each others support for this. I'd like to hear it now."

There were murmurs of agreement throughout the room. Kaidan had hoped to be able to just post the lists. Being the bearer of bad news was one thing, but this would be a whole other level.

Morgan clearly saw the discomfort on his face and immediately came to his rescue.

"Let me read it, Kaidan." She stepped up beside him and took the datapad from his hand. "It's been a trying day for you already without adding this to it as well."

Her smile was warm and caring.

"Thank you," he whispered, and retreated to a seat near the back.

Morgan took a moment to look over the list. Kaidan clearly saw the moment when she found her own parents names on the list of the dead. When she finally spoke her voice was strong and unwavering.

"As Kaidan said there's good news and bad news. And Cat is absolutely right; we are going to need each other support, because even the good news is going to be bitter sweet. You're a smart lot and I'm sure you've realized that even if your family made it, you're never going to see or talk to them again in all likelihood.

"I'll just start at the top and work my way down. First we've got the non-humans. Garrus, your dad and your sister made it. They escape Paladin and, oddly enough, ended up on the same salarian colony as Jeff's sister, Hillary."

Joker stood up and gave a loud whoop, pumping a fist in the air and grinning like a mad man. There was some equally manic laughter laced with fearful anticipation.

"Sorry, everyone. Probably should have save that for later." he sat back beside EDI, blushing.

Morgan continued.

"Tali, I'm sorry to say that your aunt, Shala'Raan, did not make it. Apparently, her ship was destroyed taking down a reaper. They think it was a kamikaze move."

Tali said nothing, just leaned into Garrus who wrapped an arm around her should and leaned his head down onto hers.

Morgan made her way down the list efficiently and with just the right amount of sympathy in her voice. She paused respectfully after each name, allowing a moment of silence before continuing.

Watching her Kaidan felt a pang of jealousy. Morgan and James found themselves a couple after only a few short weeks. Everyone had grown used to them by now, but they were a strange duo.

James was a bear of a man, muscle bound and towering. Morgan was petite to say the least. She stood a full foot shorter than his six foot two inches, and was lean and toned despite the fact that she wasn't actually a soldier. Her red hair she kept cut short in military fashion, buzzed up the back and only inches long on top. The shade of her eyes had barely been altered by the green synthetic filaments.

She was a pretty little thing and her looks belied fierce nature. Truth was, she reminded everyone a little bit of Shepard. But it wasn't that similarity that fueled Kaidan's envy. It was the simple fact that James Vega now had something that Kaidan had possessed and lost.

He ached for Shepard. Despite the fact that he had said his goodbyes in London before the final assault, even though he had known it was probably the last time he would see her, he still could not reconcile himself to the fact that she was gone.

He supposed it would probably be worse if she had lived. Knowing she was out there and he couldn't touch her, hear her voice, tell her his troubles. It was a horrible thought, but everyone could get away with being selfish in their own mind.

Before he knew it, Morgan was settling back into her seat and Kaidan was forced to get back up in front of everyone.

"Well, there's not much else to tell you, people," Kaidan rubbed his hands down his face and sighed. "Liara, you might be interested to know that some of the younger asari have decided to attempt sub-light travel to the Exodus System in hopes of finding Eden Prime intact. They are trying to convince some of the krogan to go too, since they're also so long lived."

"Thank you, Kaidan," Liara said in her soft, even voice, giving him a small smile. "The asari are good at long space flights. It's how we came to find the Citadel so long before the other species. I'm sure they'll make it there safely."

Kaidan wrapped up their gathering with a few words of sympathy and then slipped away. The sun had set and the world was bathed in the silvery light of the two huge moon suspended above the horizon. Behind the hall he climbed another path up to a ledge looking out over the settlement.

By some lucky fluke there was a large rock sitting near the edge of the sharp drop off. It was large and rectangular, with smooth and flat surfaces. It had quickly become a favoured spot for contemplation and solitude.

The night air was damp and slightly chilly, but Kaidan felt numbed to it. He sat down on the rock; its surface still warmed from the sun, and put his elbows on his knees and chin in his palms. Until today he'd actually felt like he was recovering, getting over thing and moving on. Establishing the connection to Earth had dredged up everything he'd put to rest, or at least he thought he had put to rest.

It was like the destruction of the first Normandy all over again. Those two years had been hell. He'd functioned on autopilot for almost a year before he'd finally come up for air. Even then, Kaidan had felt like he was seeing the rest of the galaxy through a haze. As if there was a veil of loss that isolated him from the people he'd once called friends.

But this time he knew Shepard was never coming back. And even if by some miracle she did, she would be trapped on Earth and he would be here.

The stars above were washed out and faint, through the brilliance of two moons. Even on the darkest of nights, nothing in the sky was even remotely familiar. It was nights like this that Kaidan longed to be at home in the Rockies, looking up at the stellar canvas of the north, the familiar shapes of Ursa Major, Cassiopeia, and the Pleiades.

His mind was busy trying to pick out patterns in the bright white speckles in the sky when Liara approached from the path.

"Do you mind if I join you, Kaidan?" Her voice was soft and seemed to add to the beauty of the night rather than take away from it.

"Not at all, Liara. I could use the company."

She sat down next to him. Close, but not too close.

"I'm still slightly surprised every time I look up at night and see those moons. Thessia was unique. It had no moons. When I was a child, the idea of a moon terrified me. I had nightmares about a moon falling into the planet."

"When I was a kid," Kaidan said. "I wanted to live on the moon."

Liara laughed softly, a musical sound.

"Aren't children wonderful. I can't wait until we have some here."

"Yeah, I guess it's going to happen sooner or later. My money's on James and Morgan." Kaidan tried to smile.

"I wouldn't count out Amelia and Pete. I live right next door to them. It's hard not to hear what they get up to every night."

"Don't worry." Kaidan patted her leg. "We'll have all the cabins built soon and then we'll all have walls."

"Things are coming along quite nicely, aren't they?" Liara stood and looked down over the camp. The metal roofs made from salvaged pieces of the Normandy's hull reflected the moonlight and glistened with droplets of falling dew. The few tents that remained were barely visible, their camouflage capabilities still active.

Yellow light spilled from the windows of the great hall and Liara could see people coming and going from the shower facility on the far side of the building. The days here were longer than people were accustomed to and the settlement bustled well into the night.

Liara turned back to Kaidan and brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. He'd been letting it grow longer since their first winter. Liara wasn't particularly attracted to human males, but it wasn't hard to see what Shepard had.

"Kaidan, I've always wanted to apologize to you for what happened when I first met you and Shepard."

Kaidan straightened and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Apologize for what?"

"I tried to force her to make a choice, me or you, when I knew very well that she only had eyes for you." She blushed, here cheeks going a dark shade of purple, and sat down so she wouldn't have to lock eyes with him again. "Young asari who can't yet conceive often move from partner to partner. At that age it's more about bonding and friendship than anything sexual. With life spans as long as ours it's part of how we learn to make lasting connections."

"I've never heard of that," Kaidan said.

"It's a very primal reaction. Very much like how human males often fight over females. My point is that I tried to apply asari nature to two humans and it was... inappropriate. I knew so little about your kind at that time."

"I appreciate the thought, Liara, but if it hadn't been for that moment I may never have told Shepard how I felt."

Liara leaned her head down on his shoulder, nudging him a little while her elbow.

"Yes, you would have. You and Shepard were always meant to be. I'm so sorry you didn't have more time together."

"Yeah. Me too."

"But Kaidan, meant for each other or not, you can't let this be the end of you. If the asari have learned anything about love it's that you can find it more than once, and no two loves are ever the same. Don't ever stop looking."

Kaidan didn't know how to respond. Looking for love now seemed impossible and just the thought of being with someone else made guilt flare up in his chest.

Before he could think of something to say in reply, Liara stood again and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't answer, Kaidan. Just remember."

And with that she turned and walked down the path. Kaidan watched her go and was glad that she had returned to the Normandy after the failed assault. The fighting had been intense on the ground, but they all felt the pull to go to Shepard's aid.

Kaidan had never been a spiritual man, but he sometimes wondered if there had been more to that feeling that loyalty. They were a team, close knit and strong, and wouldn't be doing as well as they were if even one of them had been missing now. Except Shepard was missing, but just like on Earth, she remained the glue that held them all together.

The chilly night air finally began to nip at the bare skin of Kaidan arms and he rubbed them briskly as he stood and took one last look out at the horizon before heading for his little cabin.

The camp was quiet when he made it back and closed his door on the outside world. He flicked on the lamp on his desk and looked around his small space. There was enough room for his desk, a small couch, a double bed, and a wall of storage. Most of the furniture had come from Shepard's cabin. The crew had insisted it become his considering he'd spent the majority of his nights there anyway.

Usually, these things were a comfort, but tonight they were nothing more than a painful reminder. He didn't want to get into bed, but as he pulled his datapad from his back pocket he remembered that he wasn't the only one who would be dealing with tough realities that night. Self-pity would get him nowhere.

He peeled off his grimy clothes and hung them on a hook on the back of the door. The reed blinds were already pulled shut and once he turned the lamp off the room fell into near complete darkness.

The blanket and sheets warmed immediately as the nanites woven into them reacted to his own body heat. Pleasantly warm and exhausted from a day of hard work, Kaidan called on his soldiers ability to sleep any time any place and was drifting off in minutes, despite the heavy emotions weighing him down.

His last thought as wakefulness faded was of Catherine bursting from the forest path. As sleep took him the scene changed and instead of running for the camp he was plucking bits of leaves from her tangled hair and wiping dirt from her cheek. Had he noticed before that she had very blue eyes?