Ian shook his wet hair out of his eyes and glanced up at me, a helpless smile playing across his lips. My mind told me to turn away, to sigh in frustration at the missing car, to do anything but what I wanted. What I had wanted for the past two years. What I desired, what I craved everyday, wanting to go forward but needing to hold back. Needing to, for the sake of our friendship.

My heart didn't want to listen to my mind; my heart told me to do otherwise. It told me to look straight back into his eyes, lean forward, close the gap between our faces...

I mentally slapped myself, realizing what I had been thinking. I took a deep breath as my mind emptied itself from those thoughts. Mind: 236. Heart: 0. So far, so good.

Ian glanced up at me again with those crystal blue eyes. My heart melted slightly, but my face stayed strong.

"Now what?" he asked hopelessly, shaking the water out of his hair once more. I shrugged casually, tipping my head against the pouring rain.

"Grab a taxi?"

"Nah, forget it. With this rain, the drivers are probably all on paid leave."

I turned to him when he said that, horrified by the thought of walking home with Ian and his adorable mess of soaked hair right next to me. I didn't think I'd be able to contain myself. At least in a cab, we could sit on opposite sides.

My emotions must have finally reached my face, since Ian flashed a smile and gave me a friendly nudge.

"Geez, it was only a joke, Adastra!" he laughed, hugging me. My skin tingled from his touch I managed to perform some sort of stutter-laugh.

"A joke? How does that even make sense?"

Ian let go of me, threw his hands in the air, twirled around in the rain and shouted, "How does ANYTHING make sense?" He grinned broadly as he spun to a stop and began to unplaster the hair from his face for a third time.

"True, true..." I snorted and turned my gaze back to where the golden-wheeled blue car had stood not ten minutes ago. As I stared, I heard Ian murmur something so quietly I wasn't sure he even said anything. "How does love make any sense, my dearest Adastra?"

My head shot up like a bullet when I heard that. "What did you say?" I asked him, whipping my head around so fast that the little droplets of rain spun from the ends of my hair. He seemed surprised and really scared. Clearly, I wasn't as deaf as he thought I was. Or, I really had imagined it. Great, now my heart was making me hear things.

"N-Nothing!" Ian stammered, turning away. "We should go get a cab." He started walking. Mind: 237. Heart: 0. That was a close one, though.

I shrugged it off and followed him, secretly admiring the way his wet shirt clung to his chest. He was so gorgeous, wet hair pressed against his forehead, blue eyes squinting against the rain. It inspired me to try something bold, and for once, I listened.

I fell in step with Ian and leaned against him. He stiffened underneath me, but relaxed a moment later. What did that mean? I didn't know, I couldn't think clearly; the steady sound of his heartbeat was intoxicating to me. Still, I stayed alert.

"We should have gone to a coffee shop instead. I am SO tired!" I exclaimed, pressing my head into his shirt for a moment for more emphasis.

"What - the rain didn't wake you up at all?" he asked. When I glanced up, a slight smile had formed on his lips. He reached up with the hand close to my side and gently patted my soaked hair. I laughed and shook his hand off of my head.

"Uggh, I shouldn't have stayed up so long to watch that movie with Anthony."

He suddenly stopped walking and spun to face me. I barely managed to take my weight off of him before he turned. "You watched a movie with Anthony? What movie?" he asked, voice harder than usual. It surprised me, and I almost took a step back.

"Relax - we wouldn't watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith without you!" I said, trying to smile slightly.

"What movie?" he pressed, slowly advancing on me. There was something in his eyes that I had never seen before; the usually soft blue irises had a slight crazed look to them. Why did he want to know what movie I had seen with Anthony?

"Th - The Proposal!" I stuttered, switching my gaze from one hard eye to the other. Ian had backed me up against a tree, and the wet bark scratched my back through my thin, wet cami.

As I gave up the name of the movie, his crazed eyes went soft and looked... hurt? Why? It's not like HE had wanted to watch it with me... had he? Lately, Ian was acting very unpredictable. It had become harder for me to read his emotions, too; was he trying to hide something from me?

Ian bit his lip and looked down. God, did he know what he was doing to me when he looked like that? He looked so disappointed; I just wanted to give him a hug. And that's exactly what I did.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. He stiffened underneath me again, but after a few moments he relaxed and hesitantly laid his arms laid his arms around my back too. Oh, why was he being so shy? I had lived with him and Anthony for two years now; I was his best friend and had hugged him many times before, so why so shy now? A few minutes ago, he was twirling around in the rain!

I decided not to question his behavior no matter how badly I wanted to, so I just squeezed him tighter and leaned up to his ear. "I'm sorry if you wanted to watch The Proposal with Anthony," I whispered, "but maybe you can tonight, if he's up for it."

Suddenly, his arms grew tighter around my waist and he leaned into me. My heart pounded madly as his perfect brown hair tickled my forehead, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut. I didn't want this moment to ever end, but like all good things, it did. Mind: 238. Heart: 0.

Ian slightly pulled back and I allowed my arms to fall from around him, but he kept his hands firmly between my back and my waist. Wha...?

His eyes met mine and I steadily gazed back, fighting myself to not to burst. He blinked twice and then opened his mouth. "I don't want to watch it with Anthony, Adastra," he said, whispered. We were so close; I could feel his breath tickle my nose. Contain yourself, Adastra! "I want you."

My heart stopped, almost literally, when those words passed his lips. I could feel my hazel eyes grow huge, mouth slightly open, fingers grow weak. I didn't believe what he had just said, I couldn't, but I wanted to. I desperately wanted to. And as he looked right into my eyes, I could see the truth of it hidden by months of scared lies. If only he had told me sooner, it would have spared us both of so much time filled with pain, excuses, attempts to explain to ourselves what this was, what we wanted, but what we weren't. So much time...

I had just been staring at him for so long, he probably took it as a bad sign and dropped his arms and eyes, taking a step back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

I didn't let him finish, for reality had finally caught up to me and made my muscles react. I kicked off of the tree behind me and propelled myself against Ian. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I closed my eyes and smashed my lips up against his. He stepped back for a split second but quickly regained himself, returning the kiss. His lips were soft and tasted like the Pepsi he had grabbed this morning before we had left. His arms were wrapped all the way around my back, firmly pressing me against him. As his wet shirt started soaking into my usually water-resistant cami, I opened my eyes and saw his gorgeous blue irises staring back into mine. We released the kiss, and just stood with our forehead pressed together, water dripping between us, still wrapped in each other's arms. As his face broke out in a gigantic grin, I couldn't help but mirror it, feeling warm and safe in Ian's arms. However, the moment that I never wanted to end did again, and we broke apart from each other as we realized how many people were staring at us. He cleared his throat but kept his eyes pasted on me, just as mine were pasted on his. We kept walking again but never lost eye contact, and just as his hand reached for mine, I realized something; Mind: 238. Heart: 1.