A/N: HI THERE! Sorry I haven't written anything in a looooong time, but I'm on spring break right now, so I've got a bit more time than usual! This is coming from a list I started a week ago. I was really bored, and I was trying to think of things to fill my time. Suddenly, this one fanfic (I forget which one…) came to mind, and I remembered in it that Kurt had a list of qualities he wanted to find in the perfect person for him. So… Yeah, because I'm freaking weird, I started one, too. As of today, I have hit 100 things. No, they are not STANDARDS. Merely qualities that would make a person perfect for me. So, I thought: Why not make it a fanfic myself? So, that's what I'm doing. Here ya go!

Prologue: Kurt's Journal

"Blaine! Blaine, would you please open the door!"

"Wes, maybe we should just come back-"

"David, our adopted son is finally dating, and we have valuable information he could use! We need to train him so he can go forth in his sex life!"

"…When did we adopt Blaine? …And when did he get a sex life?"

Blaine made a noise somewhere between a chuckle and a groan as he stood up to open the door to his dorm. He loved his friends, he truly did, but sometimes they were just so… what's the word? Annoying was too much of an understatement that Wes and David themselves would be offended that a better word was not used in its place. They were so… Rambunctious? Agitating? Ridiculously stupid and nosy and beyond all hope of psychological help?

As soon as the door swung open, David and Wes flew to Blaine's bed, both sitting straight as boards and smiling mischievously. Of course they had found out. How could they not? All of the Warblers had been waiting for months for Kurt and Blaine to stop fighting the sexual tension between them and just go out, so of course their biggest supporters would be the first to know. Even tough it hadn't been even an hour since Blaine had kissed Kurt.

Blaine sighed. "Yes, okay? We're dating. I kissed him. Now get out, I have a duet to prepare for." He motioned o the door, throwing it open wide and holding his hand out as though he was ushering them through it.

Wes smiled wider. "Oh, yes Blaine. We know about you and Kurt. To be honest, we expected more out of that. We expected love ballads and Shakespearean sonnets."

David joined in. "Yeah, we never knew you could be so… simple." Wes giggled a little.

Blaine stared at them in annoyance. "What? I'll have you know I love simplicity. And I know Kurt does as well. I didn't want to embarrass him or freak him out."

Wes smirked. "Oh yes. Serenading Jeremiah in the GAP with all of the Warblers is so simple."

David's smirk was so similar to Wes', that they were practically identical. "But for Kurt, hey… maybe it's fate."

Blaine's brow furrowed in confusion as he shut the door and inched closer to his two best friends. "What are you two on about here?"

Wes and David smiled at one another, the Wes reached behind him into his back pocket. When he whipped his arm back around, a small, golden-brown leather journal was clutched tight in his grip. A small journal Blaine had only seen one other person have.

"Is that Kurt's private journal?" he hissed.

"Mhmm," Wes said, tossing it back and forth between his hands. Blaine's eyes followed the motion before he reached out to grab it. But Wes was faster and he tossed it to David, who held the little book high up above his head and out of Blaine's reach.

"You two are insufferable! I just started dating him not even an hour ago, and you two already feel the need to interfere!" Blaine groaned in exasperation, then collapsed onto his roommate Connor's bed face-first. "Just please go put the journal back before he leaves the choir room."

David laughed. "Blaine, we've had this journal for two days. Kurt's been too distracted by Pavarotti's death to really notice."

Blaine turned his head to glare at them. "You didn't read it, did you?"

Wes tugged the journal out of David's grip. "We did."

Blaine sat up, throwing Conner's pillow at the two of them. They ducked it cleanly, then Wes held up his hands in mock surrender. "Now Blaine, calm down. We did it for your sake to see if he liked you or not. What we found was actually a lot more interesting."

Blaine's hand was holding yet another pillow, and he was going to chuck it at David's face, when his arm stopped in midair. "What do you mean… interesting?"

"Well," Wes began, opening the book up to the fourth page, "read number 54."

He held the book out at arm's length for Blaine to take. Blaine hesitated for a moment, then gingerly took the small leather-bound book in his hand. He turned it over so he could read, then cocked a triangular eyebrow.

Inside the book wasn't entries of secret writings and things that were only meant for a certain pair of blue eyes. Instead, there was a list of numbered items that were written in a younger kid's mildly legible cursive. He ran his finger slowly down the page until he reached number 54, then read it aloud.

"Number 54... Prefers simplicity to extravagance." He looked back up at Wes and David, who were both grinning stupidly. "What is this?"

David came over and flipped two pages back. This page contained the first part of the list, written in the hurried scribble of a younger child. He looked at the top of the page, where the title had been written bigger, and on two lines. Blaine read it aloud again.

"The Perfect Guy List." He looked below that to the word in parentheses. "Qualities I would find in the perfect person for me."

"Don't you get it, Frodo?" Wes said, coming to stand to Blaine's left side. "This is the perfect opportunity for you to be Kurt's perfect man!"

Blaine looked at him with wide eyes, then shut the book and tossed it on his bed. "No. No way. That's cheating. Whether or not I am Kurt's perfect guy, using his list wouldn't do me any good except him possibly finding out and dumping me. I can't do that to him."

David jumped in then. "Blaine, that's just it! We've read through the list, and everything in it pertains to you!"

Blaine blinked. "What?"

Wes picked the book back up. "We first thought maybe he started writing it when he met you, because he thought you were perfect for him. But then we saw the first page." He flipped the cover open, then held it in front of Blaine's face.

The front page read 'This journal belongs to Kurt Edmund Hummel. This list was started on March 23rd, 2002.'

Blaine blinked. "Everything in this journal pertains to me… and he started it when he was nine?"

David grinned. "Exactly, dude! You were Kurt's perfect guy before you even knew it."

Wes took the book back. "But, since you don't want to use this to your advantage…" He and David started walking back to the door. "We'll just go bring this back to Kurt's room."

Blaine's thought process was thorough, and took a millisecond.

"Alright, alright!" he yelled, exasperated. "I'll try to be Kurt's perfect guy."

Wes and David turned back around and practically skipped over to the bed. They sat down on either side of Blaine and opened the book again.

"How about we write down the list here so that Kurt can have his journal back later?" Wes suggested.

Blaine blinked at him. "We're going to be able to write all of this down in one night?"

David got up and went to Blaine's laptop. He flipped it open, turned it on, typed in Blaine's password, then clicked on his Microsoft Word's Processor icon.

"How do you know my password?" Blaine said, confused.

David smirked at him. "Don't think seeing you watch Harry Potter enough times didn't rub off on me. Your password ha been Gryffindor since the sixth movie came out."

Blaine growled. "Won't be when you leave."

"Anyway!" Wes shouted, opening the book up to the first page. "Let's look through the list, shall we?"

With that, he and Blaine looked down at the book, while David typed out the list.

A/N: And let the craziness ensue! So this is gonna go by number on the list, so expect a lot of chapters. I'm going to try to update this and others a LOT more. I know, I've been neglecting you all. My apologies. Forgive me? ;)

P.S. - Yes, I have finally figured out the magical abilities of the horizontal line. I always wondered how people did that. It makes more sense now. :)