Hello! Welcome to chapter two! This is the only other one I have complete at the moment, so it might just be a little while before the next one is posted. I just wanted to throw that out there so all of you know.

That being said, many thanks to Poisonberries, Valentine's Ninja, TheShhTiger, Cecil Kain Cerberus, saltedpin, and Dark Rage195 for their reviews!

Here we go with chapter two!

Underneath This Skin
Chapter Two: Nothing Can Hold Me

...

"Hey, Lightning. I brought you some dinner."

I lay on my side, staring at the wall beside my bed. I've been here since I spoke with Bahamut, staring at that same chipped spot of paint on the wall. "I'm not hungry, thanks."

Tifa walks over and sits on the bed behind me, setting her hand on my shoulder supportively. "Lightning…"

It hurts… It hurts so much. Kain was the anchor that made me want to come back. He's what made me cling to reality, and now that I'm back, I find out he moved on a long time ago. How does one recover from that? "Tifa, why is Bahamut such an ass over the before subject?"

She sighs and reaches around me to set a plate with a hamburger and a small salad on the bed in front of me. "Because he's sure that our pasts can only interfere with what we have to do now."

I turn slightly to glance at her. "Which is?"

She smiles and rubs my shoulder soothingly. "You'll find out when Odin's back. It's not safe if you don't have your Eidolon."

I'll just ignore that for now. I have other things on my mind. "But if the Eidolon can be taken out of someone, can't one of you just wipe my memories of your set-up and let me go on my way?"

She shakes her head slowly. "Once bonded with an Eidolon, your life will never be your own again. Even if Bahamut did erase your memories, you'd be left searching for something you can never find. It's like a piece of your soul was ripped from you, and you'll never feel complete until it's returned."

"I already feel that way." I sit up and turn to look at her. "Tell me, Tifa, and don't be dodgy with that before crap. Do you have any kids?"

She inhales a deep breath, then slowly shakes her head. "I've been here since I was fourteen. No kids."

I lean closer to her and set my hand on her shoulder to make her eyes meet mine. "Well, let me tell you, when your child is taken from you with no choice on your part, it hurts. It hurts like someone reached into your chest, ripped out your heart, stomped on it until it failed to even resemble a heart, then jammed it back inside. It hurts in a way that you can't ever know unless you experience it."

She looks down, averting her eyes, and whispers, "I'm sorry, Lightning. There's nothing I can do for you."

"Then, please, leave me alone so I can figure this out."

She nods slowly and stands, turning slightly to add, "Please eat something."

Maybe later. I'm not hungry.

…

I glance up as a knock sounds on the door to my room. It's not Tifa, because she just knocks and then walks in if I don't say anything. I sigh and call out, "Come in!"

The door opens and our leader walks in, holding a tray with a plate of some toast and a glass of juice. His eyes soften slightly when he makes eye contact, but then harden almost immediately again. He holds the tray out to me, saying, "Tifa tells me you haven't been eating much."

It's been almost two weeks since I first woke up to this life, and I've been too busy trying to figure out what this means for my old life to care about trifles like eating. I turn away and cross my arms, facing the wall by the head of my bed. "I'm not hungry."

Thankfully, unlike Tifa, he drops the subject after setting the food on the bed beside me. Taking up a seat on the edge of Tifa's bed, he keeps his hands buried in the pockets of his coat and says, "I want to apologize. I know it may not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but the fact that you're here is my fault. If I had paid closer attention to Odin, his berserking nature would have been caught and he would have been sent off before you were trapped. So, I'm sorry."

The notion is nice, but… "Thanks, but it doesn't change that I'm still stuck here like some kind of prisoner."

He nods once. "I may not be able to empathize, but I do sympathize. I know it doesn't mean much yet, but once your Eidolon is returned to you, you'll feel much better; more involved. Speaking of, Odin should be back within the next week or so."

"That so?" I mumble, bringing my legs up against my chest. Everyone here had the choice to bond. They weren't forced from their lives. They didn't have this pain, at least not the same pain. They chose. They had their own conscious to fight with. I was forced against my will to come here, and now I can't go back.

"Lightning, how do you feel about leaving this place for a little bit?"

I glance up at that. "You mean I'm allowed to now?" I ask, making sure sarcasm is loaded in my voice.

He nods once. "Accompanied by another, at least until your training is complete. How would you feel about leaving with me and taking a walk? The fresh air may do you some good."

What the hell? What've I got to lose? "All right, fine. Where to?"

He points at the tray and says, "Eat up and get dressed. If you don't eat all of that, I'll be forced to take you out to eat in public."

I scowl. The last thing I want is for the rest of the world to think I'm dating this guy, or something. I grab the edges of the tray and pull it to my lap. "Fine. I'll eat."

"Good," he says, then does the last thing I expected. He smiles. Not just a slight quirk of the lips, but a full-on smile. He's always so serious all the time. I didn't think he had the proper muscles in his face to smile.

…

Half an hour later, I'm dressed in black jeans and a matching jacket while standing outside Bahamut's office. I raise a hand and knock, then wait while his footsteps scuffle on the other side and the door opens. He offers a quick smile, then gestures down the hall for me to lead the way. He doesn't talk much, but he manages to get his intentions across pretty clearly.

As we reach the sitting room with a majority of the rest of the household inside, Bahamut says, "I'm taking Lightning outside for a breath of fresh air. Prishe is in charge while I'm gone."

I raise an eyebrow at the combination of how his face is suddenly stoic again and his choice in second-in-command. The girl is insane. I mean, I could see Cecil or Cloud as being a better leader. Whatever. Not my choice. I sigh and follow the leader out the door, holding a hand up to shield my eyes from the sun. It's been six years since I've been outside in the sun. Can you blame me?

As soon as we're outside, I fall into step next to him and tuck my hands into the pockets of my coat by reflex from the chilly autumn weather. They said it's the middle of October, but, somehow, I forgot how cold it was in the fall. I'll survive. Like he said, it'll do me good to be outside.

His hand snaps out in front of me, stopping me mid-step. A short moment passes in silence before he says, "Please, don't call me 'Bahamut' when out in public like this. Everyone else—namely Prishe—calls me 'Mutt.'"

"Huh." I turn away and look up at the signs to buildings around our home while muttering, "Why not go by that on a regular basis, then?"

"Because it's disrespectful to Bahamut."

"Speaking of Prishe, why is she your second-in-command?" May as well. No harm in asking, right?

He chuckles lightly and says, "Because not only is she my closest friend in our squad of bonded, but she's also the longest bonded besides myself. She's been bonded to Zalera for almost fifteen years now."

I raise an eyebrow, watching as he turns off the side of the road by a bridge and instead walks down into the soppy riverside. I walk with him, moving at a similar pace a few feet away for comfort. "And how long have you been bonded?"

A light chuckle escapes his lips as he looks up at the dreary grey sky. "Thirty years."

My other eyebrow rises and I ask, "How old are you?"

"Thirty."

What? "You've been bonded your whole life?"

"I was born to be Bahamut's host. My mother was his host before me and, when I was born, he moved to me in favor of the new life. Most Eidolons are, at birth, bonded to humans to learn the world in their hosts' method of choice and they share their powers in exchange. Bahamut is reversed. He takes a newborn human as his host to be reared his way and, in exchange, lets the human have control of their body for the most part."

I nod slowly. I still don't understand most of what's going on around me. All this talk of Eidolons really doesn't make sense. Everyone says it'll make more sense once I have a bond of my own. And, though they haven't said it outright, they've implied that this will be easier to understand once I let go of my past, too. But how…? How can I just let go of Kain? How can I let go of Dullan?

Ever since I first met Kain at the age of eighteen, he's been a huge part of my life. We lived together through most of college, and married the fall after we graduated. September twelfth. That would've been our anniversary. Our wedding was simple, just like the bond we shared. Everything was so easy between us. There wasn't ever the fuss of being super-good-looking or trying to be incredibly witty. We could be ourselves when we were together.

Even his method of proposing was simple. We had been studying in the campus library during the spring semester of our sophomore year. We were crouched over textbooks, cramming for midterms when he silently slid the box with the ring in it across my psych book. Our relationship was easy. We didn't stress over little things, and we didn't blow big things out of proportion.

How can I just let that fade?

"Lightning? Are you all right? You're crying…"

I look up, just realizing I'd stopped in my tracks and had hugged my coat around me. I reach up, gently touching my cheek. Yep. I was crying. I turn away, showing my back to him, and mumble, "Not like you care. It's all from before, anyway."

He reaches out, lightly setting his hand on my shoulder. "I told you this morning. I can't empathize, but I sympathize. I want to help you clear your conscience. This isn't your fault, and you shouldn't have to suffer alone."

I keep my back turned, staring blankly at the gate to the underground waterway a few paces away. "I don't know how to let them go."

His hand grips comfortingly, offering a meager form of support. "I want to be your friend, Lightning. I want to help you through this."

I turn slowly, finally locking my eyes with his. "How? How can I get over him? For the past eternity, my hazy memories of him were all I had to keep me sane. His smiling face was my anchor. I held onto the hope that I could return home as long as I remembered him. Now, I finally do wake up, and I find he's long since forgotten about me and moved on with some other woman. How am I supposed to feel?"

He sighs lightly and lets his shoulders fall in defeat. "No one said he forgot you. Yes, he moved on, but he no doubt loves you still. If it had been me, I know I could never forget you."

I let my gaze drop to stare at the murky water by our feet. "Is that supposed to comfort me?"

"I don't say these things to comfort you. I say it because it is truth, and I believe the truth will ease your suffering."

I shake my head. I don't want to have this conversation… Not here, not like this. "We should head back, shouldn't we?"

He manages a short nod and gestures back the way we came. We walk in silence for a few minutes and, as we approach the rundown building we call home, his hand reaches out to stop me as he whispers, "I'm your friend. Please, trust me."

I nod once and walk inside, going straight up to my room. I don't need this. We'll see about when I have Odin back. Maybe that will make things easier to understand.

…

I've tried to stop thinking about Kain. Really, I have. I've tried to push those thoughts aside and just try to live. I smile, but I'm pretty sure everyone knows it's fake. I'm trying to get involved. I'm trying to hang out with the others, get to know them better, and learn more about this life.

When I got home from my walk with Bahamut, I crashed for the rest of the day and when I woke, everything just seemed so pointless. It felt like I was just wasting my time, trying to fight this life. There wasn't any good reason to ignore this. It's my life now, right?

Deep down, I know I'll never be able to let go of Dullan and Kain. I'll never be able to forget the day I first held my son in my hands or the moment Kain and I said our 'I do's.' But, for now, I'll live. I'll keep them close, but I'll let them live their lives.

Today, Tifa and I are on our way to the kitchen for lunch. She's chattering away about some big problem that Asura helped her through. Admittedly, I stopped listening about ten minutes ago. My mind just got away from me.

My attention snaps up as motion comes from around the corner and Bahamut comes out, holding his hands together in front of him as if hiding something between his cupped palms. He smiles lightly when he sees me and says, "Ah, just the person I was looking for!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

He nods and moves his hands closer. "Guess what came through the ethereal postage for you?"

Uh… "Odin?"

He nods again with a slight wink. "Mm-hm. He's all set for the bonding, if you'll just hold your hands out like…" He makes a bunch of odd hand gestures as if he's trying to show me what to do, but doesn't want to part his hands. Finally, he sighs and asks, "Tifa, can you show her what to do?"

She giggles happily and holds her hands out together, cupping them as if trying to hold water in them. "Like this."

Okay… I hold my hands like hers and wait as Bahamut comes closer and gradually shifts to move whatever's in his hands—Odin, I'd guess—to mine. He keeps his palms over my hands, hiding the sight of the Eidolon from my view. Whatever he looks like, he's really warm. A gentle heat is radiating onto my hands now, and it feels so soothing and comfortable.

The leader nods and says, "Now, slowly, slowly bring your hands closer to you, moving Odin right up to your heart."

I start to move, inching my hands closer as he keeps his above mine. I don't get what the big deal is, but whatever. Only once his hands are almost pressed flat against my chest—which I am not all that comfortable with, mind you—does he slip them away, letting me press the entity in my hands into my chest.

Okay, let's try this. Odin? Are you there?

"Where am I?"

My name's Lightning. We're bonded now.

I want to yell and scream at him, but Bahamut said he won't remember anything he's done before. He's like a newborn, with no memory of what he's done before. I have to be gentle and treat him like we just met.

"I see… I am Odin, but it appears you knew that."

I did. Bahamut told me.

"I… am not familiar with many things. I look forward to your guidance."

Sure. That's what being bonded is all about, right?

"Of course, in return, I will offer my power to you."

Thank you. Bahamut said we'll get training on how to work together. Are you ready, Odin?

"As I'll ever be."

…

Odin and I are sitting on the couch in the main room while everyone else sits around with interest. I shift awkwardly under the sixteen pairs of eyes before Bahamut finally breaks the silence. "You have your Eidolon now. It's time you learned exactly what we do."

It's silent again for a minute, so I ask, "Yes?"

He takes a deep breath from where he leans against the wall casually. "We, as the bonded of Eidolons, are charged with protecting the world from unjust usurpers of power."

I blink. The who in the what where? "What?"

He stands upright and walks a few steps closer, saying, "They don't actually bond with humans, but there are Eidolons who feel they are better off injecting their unlawful influence to those of wealth and power, turning those humans to humanity's nightmare. It is our duty, as the bonded, to make sure those individuals are freed from their imprisonment."

"I still don't follow."

"We track down the tainted Eidolons, then make a move to find all the humans under their influence. If we can get in a close proximity, we can cleanse their minds of ill will and force the other Eidolons from their thoughts forever."

I sit back in the couch and cross my legs comfortably. "…And if you can't get close?"

"We can't properly fight the solo Eidolons, so our only alternative is to keep trying to get close, or kill the humans."

I nod slowly. Somehow, I saw that coming. I knew it wasn't accident that brought Bartz and Jecht back here with blood on their clothes. "So… We're all murderers?"

Tifa takes the slight pause as a cue to speak and says, "We only kill as a last resort. We try absolutely everything else first, and only do so if other human lives are at risk."

All right. So, I'm a bona fide murderer now. Just what I wanted my life to become. "So, now what?"

"Now," Bahamut says, "We start your training. Both you and Odin are new to this, so you will require some instruction on how to use your powers. How to control the potency of your spells, and how to gauge your new strength. It takes time, but if all goes well, you should be on your first mission by next month."

…

It's been long in coming, but the last few weeks have made settling in a lot easier. They were right. Odin does make this whole process easier to understand. He doesn't know what's going on much better than I do, but, somehow, having him here makes it make more sense. I can't explain how or why, but it does. Somehow, I've been able to let Kain go, knowing he's happy. I know I can't ever return to his life like this, anyway. I have a different life to live now. Speaking of…

Hey, Odin?

"Yes, Lightning?"

What do you suppose they mean by 'missions'? I mean, do you think they just magic their way inside these people's homes, or…?

"I cannot say for certain. I suppose we will find out when the day of our first mission arrives."

Yeah. Guess so.

I look up as a crash sounds from down the hall and Luneth runs by, chased quickly by Vaan and Zidane. It's hard to believe kids can be so content with this kind of life. But what about their parents? Aren't they worried about them? Do these kids kill? Do they have blood on their hands at such young ages? If they do, I swear to god, I'll beat the shit out of Bahamut for letting kids get involved in something like this.

I think I should go have a talk with our leader.

"Are you sure, Lightning?"

Yeah. I need to know.

"You have borne a child of your own, have you not? I assume this protective instinct stems from knowing such a bond as mother and son."

It does. I know… I know that if things had gone differently and, suddenly, Dullan didn't come home, I'd be searching nonstop for him.

"I understand. Then let us have words with Bahamut."

Yes. Let's.

I walk down the hall towards his office and knock at the door, waiting until his voice sounds with a brief, "Come in."

I push the door open and walk inside, raising my eyebrow at the sight of the laptop set up in front of him. He closes the lid with a slight nod of greeting and, when he catches my expression, says, "Ramuh charges a generator for electricity. Ifrit and Shiva take turns keeping the temperature moderate throughout the year." His face alters to show a welcoming upturn of his lips. "Now, what can I do for you?"

I drop down into one of the chairs opposite his desk and inhale deeply. "I have a question, and I don't know how you'll take it."

He nods and leans back, slipping his hands back into their favorite positions in his pockets. "Very well. I'm listening."

"It's about the before. Kind of." I lean forward to rest my forearms on my knees and sigh. "Why did you let kids get involved in this? Don't you think their parents are worried about them? I mean, look at Luneth. He can't be older than fifteen."

He nods, a slight smile on his lips, and replies, "Luneth is fourteen. He's the youngest here and, no, I don't condone children getting involved in matters like this. As for his parents…"

"What? Did you do something to them?"

"No, no… Nothing of the sort. You see, Luneth… He doesn't have any parents. He's an orphan. He grew up in an orphanage and never knew his mother or father. Carbuncle chose him because he was a lonely, miserable soul. Here, he has family. I take care in making sure he doesn't see any violence beyond healthy youthful roughhousing."

I nod slowly. "But what about the others? Tifa told me she came here at fourteen. Is she an orphan, too?"

"Lightning," he says, his voice laced with sternness as he stands. "It's not my place to get into everyone's back story. Just know that their lives are happier here and whatever family they have left know not to look for them."

"Okay. Fine." I stand and turn for the door. "If you ever had kids, you'd know it hurts just to think about losing them."

He walks around his desk and reaches out, setting his hand on my shoulder. "Please, Lightning. Don't take this the wrong way. Eidolons not tainted by power search for hosts based on who needs to have their life turn around. They don't pluck children from happy families with love and warmth on all sides. They take them from cold, desolate homes where the only human contact they receive is a backhand from an inebriated parent. The look to save lives, not ruin them."

I turn, shifting to look him in the eye. "You swear to me that's true?"

He nods. "On my life's blood."

"All right, then."

"Did you want to discuss anything else?" He breaks into a light chuckle and shakes his head. "I sound so formal, don't I? I enjoy talking to you, Lightning, and I would like to know you better. The real you. Not the one I've known for the past six years."

"Okay. I've got nothing better to do." May as well, right? Maybe I can understand him a bit better, too. Might be a good idea to actually make friends with the leader.

Not so much of a cliffie here. Hope you all enjoyed!

Please review!

-Valk