4. Offense and Defense

Salazar didn't sleep well that night. Or any other night the rest of that week for that matter. Since the night of their meeting, he had busied himself with the final preparations for the school's opening and had avoided Helga as much as possible. He still couldn't figure out what had come over him, why he'd let things go so far. Why he made things go so far. Helga was either too busy or too naïve to notice that he'd been keeping his distance from her.

Rolling over in bed, Salazar pushed his face into the dark green pillow and growled before throwing his blankets off his legs. Tomorrow was the first of September. Tomorrow was the start of a new era. But today was just like the rest of the week.

The stone floor was cold against his feet as he dragged himself out of bed and shuffled over to the large mirror hanging on the far side of his bedroom. Bleary-eyed, he stared at himself, tracing his gaze over his chest, his arms, his angular chin, the curtains of dark hair. He reached for a set of robes laying across a nearby desk as he shrugged them on, never taking his eyes from the mirror.

He shook out his hair as he buttoned the robes over his chest. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his shoulders back and headed to meet his companions in the Great Hall.

Rowena was the only one that had beaten him to breakfast. She sat in her usual spot near the front, a book in one hand and a spoon in the other. Her black hair cascaded across her shoulders as she turned her head to greet whoever it was that had come in.

It quickly became obvious she'd been expecting someone other than Salazar. "Oh. Hello, Salazar," she said, rather more coldly than necessary. She turned back to her book and her soup without another word.

Salazar sighed and took a seat across from her, but made no effort to try and speak with her. If this was the way she wanted it, he wouldn't bother arguing. No sooner had he seated himself than a house-elf appeared practically out of nowhere and scrambled toward the table, bowl in hand. He placed the bowl in front of Salazar and bowed so low his long nose nearly touched the floor.

"Thank you, Mitzy," Salazar said absentmindedly as the house-elf scuttled away. He stared at the broth and spun his spoon around in the bowl a few times before trying the soup. It wasn't bad, but he found that he wasn't particularly hungry.

The doors to the hall swung open and Godric strode in with a shining smile on his face. Rowena glanced at him and smiled broadly before turning back to her book again. Godric sat down next to Rowena in a flurry of red fabric. "Good morning."

"Morning," Rowena said, not taking her eyes from her book. Salazar nodded politely and continued forcing himself to eat the soup. Godric seemed in a cheerier mood than usual, but Salazar imagined that the imminent opening of Hogwarts was the kind of thing that would put his friend in good spirits.

As Mitzy returned with a bowl for Godric, Helga came into the hall, looking rather weary. She sat next to Salazar and pushed a coppery strand of hair from her face. Rowena finally put down her book. "Helga, dear, you look positively exhausted. Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine, Rowena. Just a bit of trouble sleeping," Helga replied with a smile. Salazar noticed that it didn't touch her eyes. "Must be all the excitement."

Rowena nodded, not entirely convinced but wise enough not to push the subject any further.

The hall was quiet as they each sat and ate their soup, and all four of them were lost in very different thoughts. Rowena was running through a list of last minute things she had to check on in the library. Salazar was wondering about Muggle children and expressly aware of his proximity to Helga. Godric was wondering vaguely if Quidditch could be taught in schools. Helga, after thanking Mitzy for his gracious service, was thinking about the next morning and the arrival of the students.

Salazar was the first to finish his breakfast and he stood while addressing Rowena, "Is there anything you need from me today?"

Rowena seemed surprised by the question, but shook her head. "Well, if there's nothing else," Salazar continued, "I'll be in the library or the Potions storerooms for most of the day." He turned without waiting for a response and swept from the hall as hastily as he could without seeming suspicious.

"Wonder what he's up to," Godric mused as he slurped at his soup.

Rowena shrugged, not really interested in the answer. Helga guessed he was working on lesson plans, but she could also tell something had been bothering him. Part of her thought it was the Muggle-born problem he had raised earlier in the week, and another part of her believed it had something to do with her, though she would barely admit that even to herself.

On a whim, she pushed back her chair without finishing her soup. "I've just remembered I have some work to do in the library for a bit as well. If you should need to find me, I'm sure I'll be there or in the greenhouses."

Godric glanced at Rowena as Helga hurried out. "I think the stress is finally starting to get to us."

"It would appear so," Rowena replied, flipping her book back open as she finished her breakfast.

Helga ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out a few knots as she walked through the corridors to the library. She wasn't sure what she was going to accomplish by doing so, but she felt like it was necessary nonetheless.

She spotted Salazar the instant she opened the library doors. He was sitting in the far corner at a table with a single large book spread out in front of him. He looked up as she entered and she swore his expression darkened just a little.

"Helga," He said, looking back to his book, hoping she was there to find a Herbology text and run off to her greenhouses.

She walked over to him and placed a hand on the edge of the table. "Salazar…."

"Don't, Helga. Not here. Not now."

"You don't even know what I was going to say," Helga snapped, crossing her arms across her chest indignantly.

"Look, what we did….what I did…"

"Is that all you ever think about?" She asked bitterly. "I simply wanted to know if you were alright. It's obvious you haven't been yourself the past few days and—"

"I hoped you hadn't noticed," Salazar sighed, turning away from her.

"Of course I noticed. How could I not? But since you so tactfully brought it up, have I done something to offend you, or are you still carrying the same worries as before?"

Salazar rounded on her. Something in her tone was more painful than he expected. He grabbed one of her wrists and pulled her towards him roughly. She was so surprised that she didn't have time to stop herself from crashing into his solid chest. She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he held her steady.

"If anyone is to blame, it's me. Don't think you've offended me," He hissed into her ear. His words were meant to calm her but his tone was harsh.

She pulled back from him a little, her bright eyes meeting his. There was a flash of fear across her face, but it lasted only a second before it was replaced by something harder to pinpoint, something akin to resolve. "Then what is it. You're plagued by something. Just tell me what—"

"No," he let go of her wrist and pushed her away from him. She staggered a bit but held her ground. Her gaze never left his as she waited for him to continue.

"My thoughts are too dark for you to know," Salazar mumbled, dropping his eyes. "I will not defile your kind constitution with my ravings."

"You're insane," Helga replied, almost laughing. "You'd use me like a common whore, but you're worried about tainting my delicate sensibilities with a thought you might have?"

"Is that what you think?" Salazar asked angrily, slamming the book closed on the table. "Do you think that I don't care for you?"

Helga moved in to lay a hand against his chest, despite the fact that he was shaking with anger. "No, I only meant…You know what, it doesn't matter."

"It does," Salazar huffed through clenched teeth. "Despite what people say, I am capable of emotions. I don't want you thinking that I—"

Helga cut him off by placing a soft kiss on his lips. He barely had time to register her action before she had pulled back and started for the door. "Eventually, you'll have to utter your thoughts, Salazar. When you do, I'll be waiting," she called over her shoulder and let the door slam behind her.

Salazar stood next to the table, still shaking. He brought a hand to his lips, letting his fingers trace across the memory of Helga's presence. It shouldn't have happened, but he could no longer promise himself it wouldn't happen again.