A/N: My first Canaan fic and I already decide to do something special XD Y'know I've seen like thousands of drabble fics on this site and only very few of them were so well written that I could imagine everything that happens only by reading what the characters say and without any help of descriptive text parts in between. And this is exactly what I wanna try myself at =D I will try to keep the amount of descriptive text as low as possible and focus on the dialogue parts. So let's see how good I am at drabble fics! Let me know what you think, okay? ;-)

Warning: For the sake of humor, the characters will be ooc. Otherwise there wouldn't be anything to laugh at ;-) Also, this story will contain Yuri (girl x girl), slightly suggestive stuff and a tiny little bit of coarse language. If that's not your cup of tea, feel free to leave now and choose another fic that appeals you more ;-)

Hint: This story will play four years after the storyline of the anime, so in this story Canaan will be 20 and Alphard 24.

And now enjoy reading!

~Spoons

#1: Alphard fails at cat's cradle

Setting: Alpahrd sits on the couch of her and Canaan's apartment. (They've moved as far away from China as possible and now live in New York together.) Her fingers as well as her wrists are quite badly interconnected with very tearproof, woolen yarn and she looks at her hands, scowling. At the same moment, Canaan comes back from a walk in the city.

Let the fun begin!

"Hey Alphard! I'm back!"

"Yeah, hey, hi."

"Wow. What a nice greeting."

Canaan hangs her jacket on the coathanger in the small entry hall and then walks into the living room, sees the situation Alphard is in but manages to supress her laughter and plops herself on the couch next to Alphard. She pretends to watch TV, but fails and stares at Alphard's hands anyway before she finally starts to talk.

"How did that happen?"

"I've tried myself at that cat's cradle stuff you like to do when you're bored."

"Hmhmhmhm...seems like you suck at that, huh?"

"Pretty much. Instead of the Eiffel Tower I got this crap. Damned artifical hand can't do it's job right!"

"Hmhm...Honey, I don't think your artificial arm is the problem."

"I know, I know. Ugh. It looks much easier when you do it, you know."

"Uh huh...Hm...hmhmhmhm..."

"You know, trying to laugh silently won't work when I'm right next to you!"

"Sorry. I, hmhm, I just think that's...ahahahahahaha!"

"Stop laughing! That's not even remotely funny!"

"Well yeah, it is. I'm so gonna tweet this."

"Oh no you won't!"

"Yes, I will."

"Believe me, you won't."

"Oh yeah? Why not?"

"Simple. If you tweet my cat's cradle fail then I'll post that embarrasing photo of yours on Facebook."

"What embarrasing photo? There are no...oh. You mean that one?"

"Yes. That one."

"Aw, come on! You'd really do that to me?"

"Remember I tried to kill you a few years ago? I've done far worse things than that to you ."

"...Fine! I'm not gonna tweet it then."

"Good."

"You're a spoilsport."

"Whatever. The photo's already on My Space, by the way."

"What!"

"Kidding."

"Ugh."

"I mean who still uses My Space? Of course I meant Twitter."

"Alphard!"

"Just joking, no worries."

"Ugh."

"Yeah, I figured just posting the photo would be boring, so I copied it a few times, edited them with some effects, made a video with it and posted it on Youtube."

"You didn't..."

"Yeah, I did. Just type in Canaan and the Cactus by Iwannashootpeopleagaindammit. It's the one with the Jeopardy music that already has like 500k views."

"What the hell!"

"Hahahaha, baby, I'm just messing with you. Why do you fall for that everytime?"

"Ugh, you're way too good at this..."

"Yeah, I'm that great, aren't I? Now help me out of this fucking mess already!"

"Alphard. Language."

"Yeah, yeah. Go get scissors or something."

"Magic word?"

"You're kidding me..."

"If you don't say the magic word then I won't cut you free."

"...You're really enjoying to have me dependent on you, aren't you?"

"Very much, yes."

"Wipe that smirk off your face!"

"Okay, okay. Now. Magic word?"

"Ugh. Fine. Would you please go and get a pair of scissors to help me?"

"See? That wasn't that hard now, was it? Stay here, I'll be right back."

"Tch. Yeah, smartass. As if I'd go anywhere with my hands tied up like that."

"I heard that!"

"Hmph."

.

A few minutes later...

.

"Aaaand there you go. All free again."

"Ah, much better. Thanks."

"I don't understand why you didn't simply rip it, though."

"I tried! But I've accidently picked the tearproof yarn you use to sew your clothes. Guess now you can be sure that this stuff actually is really tearproof."

"Hm..hmhmhm."

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and laugh at me. I'll have my revenge one of these days."

"Aw, don't be like that, babe. I mean, come on! You have to admit that it's so not like you to be such a klutz."

"Tch, yeah. Look who's talking."

"Uhm...what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I remember a certain roadtrip that got us stranded at a farm for a day and a certain someone who told old farmer Bobby that he had a nice ass."

"I meant his donkey!"

"Then why didn't you say donkey?"

"Because ass is a synonym for donkey!"

"Yes, an old one! I mean, who in the world uses the word ass when they mean donkey? Come on! You got that dude mad horny at you back then. If I wouldn't have been with you he would have totally tried to get in your pants."

"He had a wife!"

"So? Most of the dudes that visit knocking shops on a regular basis also have wives or girlfriends."

"Wait, are you comparing me to a prostitute?"

"No, I'm not...Although I do have to admit that sometimes you certainly have the skill of one."

"Oh god, where did you get the experience to compare that?"

"Well, one time Liang, Cummings and me-"

"Okay, stop right there. Ugh. I think I'm gonna puke if you continue."

"Hehe, guess you're right. Better not dig too deep there..."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome...Well now admit that you're the bigger klutz!"

"Ugh. Are we gonna have another one of those pointless discussions that won't lead anywhere?"

"Well, if you surrender and admit that I'm much smarter and sexier than you and that you're the bigger klutz, then no."

"Pfffft. As if I'd do that!"

"Fine, then this discussion will continue."

"When have you become so thick skulled!"

"Consequence of being forced to live with you, I guess."

"Forced? Alphard, what the fuck!"

"Language."

"Don't language me! And stop smirking like that! And what the hell do you mean by forced!"

"Well, that Natsume woman said it's either I stay with you and never, ever even get close to a weapon again or she would have let me killed. I didn't have much of a choice, did I?"

"Fuck you!"

"No thanks. That's what I have you for."

"..."

"Aw, look who's blushing."

"Shut up! And if you don't like it here then you're free to leave anytime!"

"Aw, weak comeback, baby. And I'm just teasing you by the way, so chill out."

"...You really need to stop doing this."

"Yeah, no I won't. That's why you love me, right?"

"I also love you for other reasons."

"Which would be?"

"Uhm...well, you're-"

"You know, how about we go the bedroom and you explain those reasons to me in prrrivate?"

"Mmmh...I hate it when you purr like that."

"Hmhmhm, no you don't...Come on, let's go!"

"What the- Alphard! Put me down!"

"Oh, I will. Once we're in the bedroom."

A/N: I subscribe to you as an author if you sign up at Youtube with Alphard's account name XD Well, how did you like it? Best thing ever? Bullshit? Let me know, 'kay? ;-) Thanks for reading and see ya at the next chapter! Bye!

~Spoons