AN: This is my first fan fiction in nearly 10 years, which means I am more than a little rusty. Please feel free to review. A big super massive Thank You to my Beta Alilypea who has always encouraged my writing, even if wasn't all that great.

Rating is for later chapters, it's gonna get sexy up in here

There was space, endless space. She was spinning in the zero g catching only glimpses of the fire on the destroyed wreck that was the Normandy and the odd flash of the after burners on the escape pods as they headed towards the Citadel. All she could do is hope that the collector ship that was the cause of the attack wouldn't start targeting them next.

Was Joker safe? Had she hit the button in time? She frantically looked through the wreckage looking to see if she could get a visual on his escape pod. Then she heard it, the unmistakable hiss of a puncture in her suit, reaching behind her head she felt it, a hole in her oxygen line. Taking a deep breath she felt the familiar thickness of the air around her, a feeling that she had experienced going off world when she'd taken a little too long to put her helmet on. She was running out of air, and quickly. The black edges around her eyes started to threaten to close in and then she saw a flash, Joker's escape pods after burners had kicked in.

"Joker," she managed to choke out before the crushing pressure hit her chest, reaching up for her throat and trying to take a breath she looked out at the great beyond struck by how peaceful the stars seemed even amongst all the chaos of the attack, and then everything went black.

Jolting upright Shepard found herself struggling to figure out her surroundings. The faint blue glow of her fish tanks let her know that she was in her Captains quarters.

"God," Shepard found herself saying, "I hate that fucking dream"

The blue orb in the corner of her captain's quarters pulsed. "Sorry to wake you commander," the familiar female voice said, no real emotion thereto show that she was actually sorry "Mordin requests to see you in his lab at your earliest convenience, he says it's urgent."

"Yeah I'm up," Shepard rubbed her face and forcing her racing heart to calm down "and when it is not urgent with him? Tell him to give me 15 minutes to shower and grab a coffee and I'll be down."

"Logging you out Shepard," the blue orb disappeared back to where ever it came from.

Walking into her washroom she looked closely at the face staring back at her in the mirror. Her hair had gotten long, the raven locks now halfway down her back. It was nice, running her hands through the dark waves. She had always hated the Alliance regulations about hair; they seemed to want to control the smallest details about their soldiers. The scars that had criss crossed her face from Cerberus's upgrades now mostly faded due to "positive actions" according to Dr. Chakwas. She found herself rolling her eyes at her reflection in the mirror how that worked she would never understand. Shepard looked herself in the eyes, her favorite feature. She had never seen another person with the same eyes that she had, a navy blue ring surrounding a pale blue that was so light it was almost white. Kaiden had called them icy, but Shepard thought that they had an exotic flare to them, and since when was being icy a bad thing?

"Sorry to interrupt Commander," Shepard sighed and turned towards the voice in just outside her door.

"But you're doing it anyway..." there was no response, sighing Shepard opened the bathroom door. "What is it EDI?"

"Mordin says that it is very urgent," while the orb in front of her couldn't feel the sting of the death glare coming from Shepard's face, she decided to do it anyway.

"Fine, tell him I'll just get dressed grab my coffee and be in," EDI started to talk "...and NO I won't skip my coffee"

The orb disappeared without its usual farewell; maybe it saw the death stare after all. Grabbing a pair of black cargos and a white t-shirt she made her way to the mess hall, hoping that Rupert had her coffee ready for her. Rubbing her face trying to get the last of the sleep out of her eyes during the slow elevator ride down she tossed her hair into its normal bun. While it was pretty it certainly got in her way when she was lining up a shot with her sniper rifle, and considering they were going to the prison today she figured being ready wasn't a bad thing. Rounding the corner into the mess hall she had to smile when she saw the familiar mug waiting for her, passing a fleeting thank you towards Rupert she made her way back to the elevator.

"Morning Commander," the bright over-happy voice of Kelly met her the second the elevator doors had shut. Did this woman ever have a bad day?

"Morning," can her grumbled reply, two sips of coffee was not enough to deal with this much happiness.

"Are you alright? You look tired," Kelly looked her over, "didn't sleep well?"

"Usually don't, you know me," Shepard had to try not to snap at Kelly, she was just concerned after all.

"I wish you would talk to me about those nightmares Shepard," Kelly frowned, "I can't help if I don't know about them you know"

"Don't take it personally Kelly, I don't talk to anyone about them," taking another sip of coffee she glanced up, "anything I should know?"

"You have unread messages at your private terminal, and Mordin requests to see you in his lab. He says it's urgent."

"So I hear, I'm on my way," with a brief wave she headed towards the lab.

The lab doors opened with their normal swish and Shepard did her best to put on her, 'I haven't showered yet, and you woke me up early so this better be important face', but was stopped suddenly when she was greeted with a pair of familiar green eyes staring back at her.

"Hey Commander, don't usually see you up this early," Joker adjusted his hat and flashed her a grin that always melted her insides.

Shepard felt heat crawl up her neck, quickly looking down at her coffee cup she grinned. "Yeah I know, I like my sleep. Mordin got EDI to wake me up." 'Get a hold of yourself Kai,' she thought, 'its just Joker.'

"You ok Commander? You look a little red." Joker beamed down at her "Or is it my charming smile and good looks getting to you?"

Shepard choked on her coffee. "Um no, just really hot coffee," she answered, wiping her mouth on the back of her hands

The door at the far end of the room opened just in time to cut of Jokers come back, and in walked the Salerian doctor.

"Ah, glad you're both here. Know you're busy. Very important discovery. Couldn't wait."

Kai smiled at Mordin, Kelly's description of a hamster on coffee was more and more accurate when Mordin had discovered something. Sometimes she couldn't help but wondering if he was battery operated or something.

"Slow down Doc." Joker laughed raising a hand to try and slow Mordin's chatter. "What's so important that you had to pull our mighty Commander out of bed?"

Shepard elbowed him in the ribs...gently..."Ow! Hey! Watch it, brittle bones remember?"

"That's what I needed to discuss. Joker's illness. Found a cure." Mordin shuffled through some data pads before finding the one that he was looking for. "Old technology but according to tests 99% likely to cure."

Shepard quickly turned to Joker, who was now doing a very good impression of a fish before turning back to the doctor. "Quick Doc, give us the details before Joker faints," she pulled up a chair for him to sit in, as he had now started to sway.

"Jokers bones are brittle due to lack of nutrients in his bone marrow. Bone marrow transplants were often done to treat all kinds of illnesses. It's an old procedure and outdated. However it may work in this case. Just need to find a match."

"Do you have a test ready?" Shepard glanced at Joker, who was now turning white

"Yes yes, all ready. Just need to gather crew," Mordin started to grab swabs from a jar.

"That's wonderful Doctor; can you please go and confirm with that she would have everything needed for the procedure? I'd like a word with Joker."

Without another word the Doctor left the lab, leaving Shepard with a very shell shocked Joker. "Hey," he glanced up at her voice, "you okay?"

Joker found himself nodding, "yeah...I guess"

"Do you want this?" Shepard looked at his face, catching his eye, "you don't seem as happy as I thought you would be."

Joker rubbed his face and cleared his throat. "Of course I do, it just seems so unbelievable. Years I've been told that I would only be able to slow my disability down but never stop it," he swallowed roughly "but what if we don't find a match?" He glanced up into her impossibly blue eyes and felt the sting of tears. After years of wanting this, having the possibility this close but still not certain caused an ache in his chest.

She gave him a reassuring smile, gripping his shoulder, "we will, if this is what you want I won't stop until we do okay? We have a big crew here, and if that doesn't work I'll try and pull some strings at the Citadel."

Joker managed a weak smile back, "thanks Kai," Shepard's heart fluttered at the use of her first name, he had always just called her Shepard or Commander, just like the rest of the crew. "You're the best friend a guy could ask for."

Shepard had to fight back the frown. A friend. That's all she was, and all she would ever be. She was Commander Shepard, Commander of the friend zone. Forcing herself to smile she stood up heading towards the door.

"Hey no problem, you feel okay to fly? Dock us at the prison so we can still go after this Jack person and I will call a meeting and inform the staff of the test okay?" Shepard pressed the door lock

Joker slowly brought himself to standing before flashing his trademark grin at Shepard. "Prison eh? On it Commander," before turning toward the cockpit and walking away with a slight limp, he couldn't help but smile at the thought that soon he may not take so long to walk anywhere. Sitting in his pilot's chair he planned the mass relay jump.