Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't sue me.

He was five years old the first time he remembers telling his mother he loved her. His kindergarten class had all made cards for their mothers on account of it being mother's day and he'd worked especially hard on making his look as pretty as a five year old could. The card was covered in glitter and scribbles, but overflowing with all his love.

Nothing had pleased him more than to find his mother would actually be Earthside on Mother's day and he'd barely gotten any sleep the night before in excitement. He greeted the morning with a bright grin as he rushed to the kitchen with card in hand. He found his mother nursing her first cup of coffee for the day and staring blankly at the nearest wall, the place he always found her when she arrived home.

"Happy Mother's day Mama! I made you a card!" Jim shrieked as loud as his little lungs would let him.

Winona didn't jump at the unexpected shriek and simply turned her head slowly in his direction. Her gaze was cloudy and distant, the way it always looked when it landed on him.

Not deterred in the slightest, Jim forced the card into her lap and waited eagerly for her to read it.

Her movements had a lethargic quality to them as she picked up the hand made card and read it's contents.

Jim was all up fidgeting with excitement as he awaited his mother's reaction. Several minutes past by in silence as neither moved.

"Mama?" Jim asked quietly, wondering if his mother had spaced out like she sometimes did. She seemed to shiver at the sound of his voice, curling into herself and burying her face in her hands.

"Go away. Just go away." She muttered.

Jim's face fell instantly and his eyes became clouded over with tears. He'd worked so hard and she, she didn't even…..

Anger pulsed through his veins like fire as he tore the card from her limp grasp.

"You didn't even read it! It says I love you Mama! I just learned how to spell it out!"

Winona just curled further into her arms and let out a low moan.

"Go away…I can't deal with this right now…."

Jim was too angry to back off like he normally would. Too enraged at being turned away again the one time he wanted to be acknowledged by his mother for something. Anything.

"Mama! Mama!" He shrieked, pulling at her arms to make her look at him.

Something snapped inside the older woman and made her bolt from the table in a blinding flash of movement that sent her chair tumbling backwards.

"Stop it! Stop looking at me with his eyes! Stop using his voice! Stop stop stop stop! I don't want to hear it!"

Jim fell back and at the shock of his mother's movement and watched with wide eyed fear as she toward over him, shaking with what could only be rage.

For a brief terrifying moment he was certain she was going to hurt him. Adrenaline pumped though his veins at the thought and made him crawl to the corner and curl into a quivering terrified ball.

He waited for what seemed like a long time for the blow to come, but it never did.

Instead his mother let out a shaky sigh and lowered her raised hand.

"I can't love you, why don't you understand that?" She muttered mostly to herself.

She left without another word, leaving the half torn card on the cool tiled floor in front of her frozen son.

It was a long time before Jim was able to uncurl himself and reach for the card with shaking hands.

He held it with the uttermost care, as though it was made of the thinnest material on the galaxy instead of the sturdy construction paper.

He traced his fingers along the tare in the card, noting how it cut directly though the word love in a harsh jagged line.

He traced it over and over as the tears dripped down his face without his notice.

He cried for his love lost mother and the fate of his card. But mostly he cried for himself, because despite it all he meant what he wrote in his card.

He still loved her.

Even if it was only because he didn't know how to stop.

This is my first 5 and 1 fic and I'm pretty proud of it. I think I was able to capture my moments fairly well, but I would love some feedback. My self esteem already took a nose dive when 1,240 people read my T'Zet 1 story and it only got 1 review! I was very wounded and tempted to not post this out of spite. I didn't think my Star Trek fans deserved it, but I'd hate to make the person who did review suffer. So you're all lucky!

Yours truly,

Jessica499499