Fanfiction. net is being stupid and keeps undoing the formatting for Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's bond conversation. And while I was fixing that I noticed that I switched to carrot denoting bond conversations part way through this story :X Oops! Back to the old style.

/blah blah/ = Bond talk

With new found resolution, I decided to not let my already-turbulent future become more chaotic. Once I get out of here… oh yeah. I can't get out of here. Damn it. Sighing, I decided to shift my focus back to selecting the play lists. After another few breems passed and I was locked-yet-not-locked in my quarters, I started to feel like I was suffocating. I need some air right now.

As soon as I got up my door swiftly opened, but not for me. "Sideswipe, why are you doing? You'll have your sight back soon enough, no need to panic."

Why does the universe hate me? The universe really didn't have to send in Red Alert to babysit me. Damn you, Ratchet. This is the last time I'm going to be nice to you. Forever.

After a beat I realized what Red had said and I gave him an incredulous look. "Did you just tell me to not panic?"

"I assume that any warrior would be in a relative state of panic as compared to their normal demeanor whenever they lose a critical ability to do their job."

Okay, I was a bit uneasy at the moment, but it wasn't because I was blind. The idea that there are similarities between my trine and the Seeker trine isn't something I cared to think about, but stupidly I did and now I don't want to anymore. Naturally, the universe wouldn't let me totally drop the subject by sticking me with the duty-bound Red. If the blindness was at all to blame, it would only be that it allows me to digress into whatever random thought crossed my mind to stave off boredom. See, this is why warriors shouldn't put much emphasis into thinking outside of battle or training – or pranking, which is kinda like training if you look at it like I do sometimes. I'm not saying we should be stupid, but when war shapes your entire reality, it's hard not to think about it. If you don't take a break, it'll consume you and you'll turn into Sunstreaker.

"Uh, yeah, it really sucks to be blind. I can't even find the right music to entertain myself."

Moments later I heard a chair move until it stopped near me. Red sat down in it and I could feel his optics staring at me. Reluctantly I sat down again and turned my blank gaze towards him. I swear I could feel his discomfort as much as mine. Or maybe I'm just imagining it because there's no way he could be comfortable.

"So… what's up?" I asked in a feeble attempt to dispel some of that discomfort.

"Ratchet said you needed a break from him and vice versa, but officially you need to be under the watch of an officer and he volunteered me to Prime. Naturally, Prime approved." Red said the last part with a bit of a drawl.

"Yeah, that's Prime for you." I could understand the exasperation Red was feeling. Prime has this romantic notion that comrades-in-arms should always be given the opportunity to maintain a neutral respect of each other, if nothing else. His spark may be in the right place, but it can be really, really annoying. "Sooo…"

I stopped after nothing came to me and dead silence returned, our unease hanging thick in the air. "Yeah." Red acknowledged after a few clicks.

After a few breems of another awkward moment between us, I finally came up with the only thing I could think of: Ratchet. "I guess Ratchet was pretty happy when you saw him?"

"You could say that, but he appeared more relieved than anything. I'm thinking he could use another medical assistant. With all the stupid things that goes on around here, plenty of which result in injuries, he probably doesn't get much time outside of Medbay with only First Aid and the occasional assistance from Wheeljack," Red responded.

"Hn, I suppose you consider this to be one of those times that stupidity results in a Medbay trip," I mused aloud, in a bland voice. It was a rhetorical statement, but I couldn't help taking a shot at Red's earlier rant. It seemed like a deca-orn ago, but the salt in the wound still stung, to borrow a human phrase. I may have done something stupid that resulted in me being in the situation I'm in now, but Red did something stupid that resulted in the situation we're in now. I don't expect him to figure that out, though, because he thinks being direct and honest is always the best policy and can't fathom what "tact" means.

'And this was exactly what I was talking about,' the voice sharply interjected, pointing out that I was being quick to blame Red.

"Are you referring to our earlier discussion in Medbay that occurred because you did something stupid, which forced me to leave the base's security to those with less rigid requirements than me?" Red said in the same tone, unaware of the other conversation I was having with myself.

"Yup, that one."

Hesitantly, Red spoke up. "Sideswipe, I want to apologize. Aft Prime excused us I tried giving Ratchet a piece of my mind for volunteering me, but he beat me to it and gave me a piece of his mind instead. His rant about my rant in Medbay gave me a few things to consider. First, I want to apologize for being late in meeting you here. I'm sure it was unnerving to be left alone in an unsecured situation. I hadn't expected to take long, but there was a lot to think about. Secondly… I know your current predicament is stressful enough and you didn't need me getting on your case. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time."

I gaped at him in shock. "You're apologizing – to me?! You never apologize, especially when you're at least partially in the right!"

"I am at the very least capable of understanding when my actions are wrong when they are brought to my attention, even if I'm in the right," Red Alert huffed defensively.

I stared in his direction, almost instantly feeling bad. Pit, I have really let my bad mood get the best of me.

'So what are you going to do now?' that internal part of me asked.

Not even a joor ago I was convinced that a broken trine was better than the alternative. My earlier absolution is being confronted with something that seemed implausible. Wait – implausible? It's implausible that Red could ever apologize for not being considerate of others?

I let out a small bitter laugh and rubbed my hand against my temple. "Y'know, Red, there's some kind of eloquence in something you just said, about what we do when confronted with the truth…" I trailed off.

The truth is that I've spent too many vorns secretly blaming Red. I thought Red started the rift between us and him, and that Sunny and me were only at fault for not trying to rise above it. The few times that I tried to rise above it, like earlier, I would ultimately blame him when it failed. I guess the truth is that I don't fight falling in line with the war mentality where everything that's wrong is always your opponent's fault.

There's something really pathetic about that and I don't like it. Time to change things up by starting with something I almost never do: offer a sincere apology. "I'm sorry as well. Red, I've also been giving you a hard time; I was sure that you would never understand Sunstreaker and me because you're busy being a self-righteous, aloof, paranoid 'bot."

"Thanks," Red cut in sardonically.

"You're welcome," I said with as much retort, "but you might want to let me finish. I'm trying to apologize, just give me a moment. The last time I genuinely apologized with something past 'I'm sorry I blew up your favorite thing' I think Iacon was still standing." I waited a moment before trying again. "What I'm trying to say is it's not okay for me to think of you only as that arrogant and paranoid mech because it's not true. It doesn't help anyone to cut you out piece by piece and then turn around and blame you for everything else."

After a few clicks, I focused all of my hearing on him. Another moment passed before I heard the faint sound of his gapping mouth snapping shut.

"What?" Except for Inferno, no one apologized to Red. Usually they just dismiss him and joke about how "that's just Red" and never bother with him. I've never really thought about it until now, but I can relate to how frustrating it can be to be blown off because everyone is convinced that you have a two-dimensional personality.

"Sideswipe, you and I are not one for warm and fuzzy moments, but I think we have for once have come to an agreement. You aren't the only one who jumps to conclusion. I never really understood you or your twin, and when we struggled to communicate to each other, I figured it never mattered to you what I said because you care more about actions. I started yelling at you because I was mad. Eventually, I tried convincing myself that it didn't really care if I yelled at you because I got tired of the frustration."

I waited before speaking again, letting what he said sink in. You'd think that working with a mech for vorns that you'd get a chance to work things out before they get out of control, but time's funny that way. You're angry for an orn so you ignore them until it blows over, but then it turns into a decaorn without either mech speaking about it, and next thing you know it's been a vorn and you're still angry. It's easier to ignore someone and wait for them to speak first. It's even easier if one mech becomes isolated. I can't imagine what Red's life has been like, spending several vorns alone and thinking no one – not even his trine mates – cared about him except Inferno.

"Maybe when I get my sight back, we can play that game. You know, the one we were talking about earlier." I offered him my olive branch again, thinking maybe this time I could do something without making him mad right afterwards or expecting him to be mad and act on it.

"Perhaps. I will require energon soon, and I believe Ratchet mentioned he was going to keep working after he spent a joor relaxing. I don't know if you've been keeping track of the time, but it's been almost 3 joors since he volunteered me."

"Really? Have we been talking for that long?" How did so much time past? I hadn't bothered checking the time when Ratchet left me at my quarters.

"No. Like I said earlier, I had a lot to think about."

"Oh." Red was surprising me every which way. I guess we've both been thinking a lot about the trine.

/Awww, time for a hug./ Sunstreaker's sickingly-sweet tone of mockery crackled over the bond. Damn it.

/How long have you been listening?/

/Ever since you and Red made sweet love./

I jumped at his words. /What the Pit, Sunstreaker?/

Sunstreaker bursted out laughing. /Okay, okay. You dropped your guard when Red apologized to you. Never saw that coming. Didn't think you'd apologize, either./

/Yeah, you should apologize to him too./

/What's that? Your barriers are going back up. You're breaking up, can't hear you./The sound of static interference echoed in my head before completely cutting out. I know he'll figure out his own way to apologize to Red, but it's not going to be with words. I think Red knows that, and maybe he'll easily figure out what's the equivalent of an apology from Sunny.

"Sideswipe? Are you okay? Why did you jump?" Red's voice sounded alarmed. I mean, most of the time his voice sounds alarmed but it was different this time.

"Sunstreaker's been pestering me."

"That sound's exciting. I'm sure glad I don't have a spark bond with him like you do," Red smugly said.

"Yeah, there's almost nothing as strong as a split-spark bond. Yippe."

/Nope, but he should be able to 'hear' me if we had any real trine bond. I think the biggest 'apology' would be fixing the trine bond. Action speaks louder than words,/ Sunstreaker spoke up, adding his input on the matter.

/I thought you couldn't hear me./

/Your barriers are wavering, so I can hear you sometimes and but not other times./

/I'm sure the times you can hear me just happen to occur when it's most convenient for you./

/Yup./

/You're such a conceited aft./

Sunstreaker chuckled. /Can't help it if you aren't as good as me when it comes to controlling the bond./

I was about to mock his ego when Ratchet buzzed Red Alert and me over the comm. link. ::Hey Sideswipe, ready to see the light?::

::Primus, yes.::

::Then get your aft down here. Red, officially you have to escort him to Medbay, but only because he's blind. His punishment period has passed so you can drop him off at the door.:: Ratchet abruptly cut out.

"Wow, I feel like such a sparkling right now."

"On the bright side, you won't after the next joor."

We talked while we returned to Medbay about the latest events at base. Red actually caught me up on the latest stunts pulled by bored Autobots. We got to the Medbay doors in no time.

"Going back to work?" I asked

"Yes, I need to make sure everything in set up before I take my break," Red stated matter-of-factly.

"I guess work is always number one," I said, reminiscing about what I said earlier when he visited me in Medbay.

/Ya'know, you're clearly still are annoyed about how he left without any acknowledgment when you tried being nice and thanked him. Since you basically promised to repair the trine by rectifying past slights, you should mention that,/ Sunny pointed out.

/No, that's just whining and I'm not going to whine./

/What are you talking about? You've been whining all orn! And anyways, this is what you got yourself into by deciding to make things right with Red. Now time to kiss and make up,/ he responded gleefully.

/Primus, sometimes I really hate you. No, more like often I hate you./

/Nah, you love me. Deep down everyone loves me. They're only angry with me because they're jealous./

I ignored Sunstreaker's vanity and groaned. I'm going to let this one go because I'm not whining to Red.

Apparently I didn't have to say anything because someone else beat me to the punch. "Sideswipe," Red Alert spoke up, "one of Ratchet's points in his long-winded rant was that you thanked me but I ignored you. I didn't so much ignore you as much as I, uh, nodded in reply." I could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

"You nodded at a blind mech?" How does a hyper-vigilant mech forget that he was talking to a blind mech?

"You threw me off when you thanked me because I was focusing on not continuing my 'rant', as Ratchet called it. I figured I'd keep it simple rather than drag on the matter, so I kept my response simple."

"By nodding at me."

"I didn't say it was the smart thing to do," Red huffed.

"How did you miss the dark optics?"

"It's the optical relays to your CPU that are shot, not the power supply or the optics themselves. I'm guessing Ratchet never bothered with opening your cranial unit and shutting the power supply off. Your optics are on, you just don't know it."

"Huh." Usually the optics of blind mechs are completely offline. It was weird to think my optics were on this entire time even though I couldn't see. Weirder to think that I didn't know.

/There's something poetic about that,/ Sunstreaker mulled over.

/What do you mean?/

/You deliberately turned a blind optic towards Red even though your optics could see him. When they no longer could see him, you first assumed he was being callous to you. Now that you haven't been able to see with your optics for a while, you've learned to actually see him for him and not what you assumed your optics were telling you./

I didn't respond to Sunstreaker right away. His words gave me a lot to think about. About Red, Sunstreaker, myself, my trine, and the trine I fear becoming. /For a brutal warrior, you can be oddly deep./

/Nah, I just like poking at your faults. If I appear to be deep, it's only because your faults are so deep,/ he smirked.

/Haha./ I knew he'd never fess up to being intelligent because – well, there's no more need to dwell on that. One step at a time and Sunstreaker isn't going to stop acting stupid about being smart any time soon. Instead, I turned to Red. "Thanks. See you later."

"Yes, I look forward to winning," Red gloated before leaving. I think the act of preferring to being isolated to his security machines was his defense because he's a lot more receptive than I expected.

I walked into Medbay. "Oh good, you finally made it. I was starting to think Red was blinded too and you were both aimlessly wondering the halls."

"You are so funny, Rachy," I said sarcastically.

"'Rachy'? Really? You're going to start teasing the mech who's holding the parts that can give you the gift of sight again?"

"You know I love pushing the limits."

"Yeah, that's what idiots do. Get on the berth, because you already have been pushing my limits of my maximum daily of you."

I smirked and climbed onto the nearby berth. After nearly a joor of final repairs to my optics and hip servo, Ratchet informed me to cycle my optics. I powered down my optics for 30 clicks before powering them back up in time to see Ratchet peering down at me. As soon as my optics came back fully online, Ratchet's concerned face became smug. "I'm so happy. Only a couple more breems of post-operation tests and I don't have to see you for the rest of the night."

Ratchet pulled me up. "Okay, first thing is completing the tests for your fixed hip servo. Walk to the other side of the room." I walked to the other side of the room as instructed. Ratchet gave me a series of more instructions to make sure I could walk, balance, and transform without issue.

"Last thing is to test your optics."

"Ratchet, isn't the fact I can see your gestures about what to do to test my servo enough? I'm hungry." I tried willing my energon tanks to make a sound for emphasis.

"Most of the required tests were completed simultaneously while testing your servo, but not all. Get back on the berth."

I climbed back on the berth and sat while Ratchet dug in one of his medical drawers. "Freakin' snow blowers…" Ratchet grumbled.

"Hey, Ratchet, I've been meaning to ask you why your newest insult is 'snow blower'. Since when do you use human technology as an insult?"

Ratchet groaned and rubbed his temple, shaking his head. "Since the minibots were in here for nearly an entire orn after one of their fights and kept calling each other terms like 'snow blower' and – well, you don't want to know the rest. 'Snow blower' got stuck on my mind because Cliffjumper kept using it in every other sentence. Like how humans complain of songs getting stuck in their heads, I have Cliffjumper's lame insults stuck in mind. I try not using it when I'm thinking about it but they keep slipping in and it only reinforces it."

I burst out laughing. "Seriously? You actually let Cliffjumper get stuck on your mind."

"Shut up. It's not Cliffjumper who's stuck on my mind, it's their insults that managed to stick after listening to them in the background for seemingly-endless joors. Next time I'm just going to force them offline." Ratchet looked positively annoyed. I'm so delighted that I can see he's annoyed.

"Ratchet, I love how annoyed I can tell you are right now," I cheerfully shared my thought.

"Yeah, well then I'll make sure you love this." He pulled out a tool and pointed it towards my optics. A bright light shined through the device and immediately hurt my optics.

"Ow, what the Pit, Ratchet?"

"I'm verifying your optic relays work. If they work, your CPU should determine how much to adjust your optical receivers to minimize the effects of this light."

"You know you just wanted to hurt me. I can't believe you've been such an aft even after I let you get a break."

Ratchet stepped closer to examine my optics as a series of lights went off. "What, you mean sending Red to babysit you? I did you a favor."

"Excuse me?"

"I know how much of a drain it is on a trine when it's broken. I figured forcing the two of you together without the hot tempered Sunstreaker and having leveled the playing field by chewing out Red Alert might bridge a gap or two between you both," Ratchet said as though it was obvious.

"And how do you know that Red Alert and I could work things out?"

"Because I know you, Sideswipe. I knew you weren't just angry about the Seekers. You think I can't tell when you're upset? Please, I can tell when you're mad and when Sunstreaker is mad. Sunstreaker burns hot when he's mad, but you're usually more like fire burning under ice. You're cold to the outside world until someone pushes too hard and either breaks the ice or your anger melts it first. I can also tell when that's about to happen and when it's because of Red. Likewise, I can tell when you want to make things better. Why do you think I sent you to him before all of this happened? Although that was stupid on my part because I didn't consider how stupid you are outside of base."

I looked at him with shock and disbelief written across my face. "You can't seriously know me that well," I said, ignoring his last comment.

"I can and I do. You think the CMO who's almost always on duty orn in and orn out can't figure out what makes the mechs he sees on a regular basis tick?" Ratchet snickered. "Okay, done." Ratchet moved away and powered down the tool.

"Red Alert was so right."

"About what?" Ratchet asked as he dropped his tool back in the drawer.

"You really do another assistant."

"Hah, you say that like it's an epiphany," Ratchet retorted. "The only epiphany that you need to realize is that I know just about all when it comes to you. I even have half of your schematics memorized. So you should really stop screwing with me." He flashed me a dark smile. "You're cleared for duty. Have fun."

I hustled out of Medbay, and jogged to the Rec Room.

/Are you really that excited to see Red?/ Sunstreaker asked.

/Nah, I'm just that excited to be able to jog. And to finally get energon./

I slowed down when I saw the Rec Room and strolled in nonchalantly. There at the energon dispenser was Red Alert. Two turbo-rats with one blast. I walked up to the adjacent energon dispenser and filled a container as I spoke. "It seems that I caught you on your break."

"Sideswipe, you're already fully functional?" Red said astounded.

"Enough to be cleared for duty. My internal diagnostic found a few minor problems in other areas, but internal repairs can handle it and Ratchet was pretty eager to send me away."

"I can easily see that," Red Alert contemplated the idea of a happy Ratchet.

"So, since I'm cleared for duty but don't actually have any duties right now, perhaps you can teach me that game. I've pretty much completely forgot how to play."

"Uh, okay. Let me set it up in my office. Meet me there in 5 breems." Red walked out of the Rec Room.

"Guess you can't change everything at once," Sunstreaker said as he slide up next to me and shook his head. "Too bad, because I guess that means more quality time between the two of you."

"Really? You think I'm not dragging you in?" I said and flashed Sunstreaker my dark smile, trying to out-do Ratchet's. I don't think it worked.

"Hah, you couldn't drag me in if it was my hip servo that was damaged. Not that I ever would be because I know how to handle a couple of Seekers. Not to mention I wouldn't constantly forget my jetpack," he sneered back.

"I'll take that bet. In the next surprise attack from them you get two of them and if you get beaten up, then you have cuddle up with Red," I taunted.

"Like that'll ever happen. And if said attack occurs and the Seekers are the ones who get beaten up, you have to cleanup and reorganize my playlists. All 236 of them."

"I can't believe you haven't cleaned your playlists since you got your first job in Kaon. Primus, Jazz and Blaster both have an addiction to collecting music and they do a better job."

"Yeah, well you will." Sunstreaker laughed and gulped down some energon. "Have fun not being blind anymore." From the look on his face as he paused before turning away, I could tell he didn't just mean my temporary physical blindness.

I think I will, even if it takes a while. I'm not letting myself turn into Thundercracker, and I'm not letting myself become a half-functioning Sideswipe. If I'm turning into anything, it's a part of a functioning trine.

Please review! I feel like there isn't enough action in there. Please let me know if you agree or if it was better as more of an internal drama.

For the record, I like Red. I just think he's easily misunderstood and he doesn't exactly speak the same language as warriors.

Thanks for reading! Any comments would be appreciated! :D