a note from anne;;

hey guys! first kh fanfic, so go easy on me. i'm fairly new to the world of kingdom hearts, but i've played birth by sleep, watched cutscenes of various other games and read pretty much every page on the wiki, stalked the fandom, and basically turned myself into a lunatic. so, anyway, i'm thinking this will be a four-shot, with terra in his prison-dark-place with xehanort, then aqua in rod, ventus's dreams, and finally them breaking free and reuniting.

Want.

It was once such a simple emotion, one that seemed so childish now. One that had been portrayed when the Master would not let him travel other worlds until he reached a higher rank.

W-A-N-T.

The unfamiliar word surged through Terra's mind, however dormant it was. Surrounded by nothing but blackness and that wretched demon, wearing that perpetual smirk with his hands clutched behind his back. Want no longer existed. All there was left was need.

Like he needed to return to the world of the living, leave this god-forsaken place, and finally find his friends.

His friends.

Aqua. Her name instantly brought back her fairy-like face, her slight smile, the way her azure eyes glimmered whenever they rested upon either Ven or Terra, or 'her boys' as she affectionately called them. She seemed so close, so very close. Torturously close. His hand flicked out to caress her milky white cheek, to show her the fondness that had been shoved below the rage he had about her spying on him, though the illusion dissipated before his shocked cobalt eyes. A gasp leaked out from between his parted lips, and he whirled around, searching for his Aqua. He ran into the darkness, his hands squeezing open, shut, open, shut, as if on one turn he would find her slender fingers entwined in his own.

But there was no bluenette in sight. He could run forever, turn around, and there the serpent would stand, eternally.

Distantly he remembered, one of his most precious memories of them, seated on a bench in the Land of Departure. His eyes locked on the stars, her knees pulled close to her chest, her head leaned against his shoulder and her nose nuzzled against his gray shirt. Beside Aqua sat Ventus, who had dozed off not long before the girl next to him had as she had seen him asleep in quite an uncomfortable position with his neck bent back. She had smiled warmly and lowered him so he was lying on his side with his head on the edge of her thigh. "Hopeless sleepyhead." She muttered affectionately. Absently she had stroked his hair, and so nodded off like that, her face pressed into Terra's shoulder and her hand on Ven's head, as if protecting him.

Ventus. His brother. Terra still didn't know what had happened to the boy, whether he was living happily with Aqua, or he had been taken over by Vanitas, or if he was dead. The last thought made the young man whimper, ever so quietly. That couldn't be true. Aqua would have protected him, of that Terra was certain. He pictured the fifteen-year-old's comforting toothy grin, his arms thrown behind his head blissfully. Ven was always more flamboyant, attention-seeking, than Aqua. Instead of tenderly tracing his cheek with his thumb when he was down, like Aqua did, he clapped him on the shoulder (or at least he tried; Ven was of average size for his age and Terra was quite big for his nineteen years.) and cheerfully encouraged him. They both had different ways of comforting him, and they both did their jobs well.

Another reminiscence rocked him to the core. Terra and Ventus were sparring, while Aqua perched daintily atop a half-wall, watching them with her eyes half-open. "Ven…" Aqua mused, cradling her chin in two cupped hands, "Why do you hold your Keyblade like that?"

Between slashes at Terra, the boy answered, "I…don't know…Aqua…I just…do, I guess."

The bluenette rolled her eyes. "That's not much of an answer."

Ventus winked. "Sorry."

"I know why." Memory-Terra grinned, dodging a swipe from the blond boy. "The Ventus just feels the need to be different. It's its natural instinct to be peculiar." He teased, as if narrating a documentary on some foreign animal. Aqua chuckled, while Ven's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, you're so gonna get it, Terra…"

The memory let loose a tortured scream from Terra's mouth, as he sank to his knees on the cold ground. Xehanort took no notice; it seemed he was so caught up in directing the little slave they lived in the mind of that he had become oblivious to the scene around him. So he was indeed alone. Not that he cared; it would ruin him for Xehanort to see him like this. That demon could not see Terra weak. Never.

He didn't want Aqua and Ventus…he needed them. He needed them like he needed water, or oxygen, or food, or…he realized that nothing else would be necessary enough to be compared to the importance of his friends-no, his closest companions. His everything. His only reason for staying alive. The only reason he didn't let himself sink into the inviting darkness long ago.

But now, he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure whether he would ever sense Aqua's crystalline cyan orbs ensnaring him into doing whatever she wished. He wasn't sure if he would ever ruffle Ven's spiky hair and feel his hand being playfully smacked away. The yearning he felt seemed to be pulling him towards them, so far away but so very touchable. His arm stretched, fingertips longing to touch her arm, as he saw the bluenette with her palm on the back of the blond youth's head, seemingly petting his windswept hair. Terra's arm dropped. Aqua glanced up and smiled invitingly, while Ven grinned and waved. The two then outstretched their free hands, and Terra clawed at them with his own. But to no avail; they passed right through. Hallucinations, he told himself. I've gone crazy. Bonkers. Off my rocker. Lost my marbles.

Regardless, Terra wished with every fiber in his being that he could be with them as a single tear slid down his cheek and into the hollow darkness below, lost forever.