Author's note. Don't freak out, this is just meant to be a bit of fun and mock the pairings themselves, not the one who endorse them. Okay?...cool, let's have fun.

Suggestions are welcome.

Enjoy and please review.

Good evening and welcome to Professor Marvellous Balderdash guide to non canon pairings from the wizarding world of that little rapscallion Harry Potter. Now, many of you will have heard of these pairings and in my study I have discovered that some of you mouse scrollers highly dislike said pairings.

I find myself at a considerably loss at understanding this erratic point of view and so have constructed this paper exploring why you couldn't be more wrong. Each chapter shall present the couples involved in each pairing and they shall state just why they belong together.

Our first pairing today involves one of the most popular non canon pairings Dramione. Mr Draco Malfoy, if you could please explain why you and Miss Hermione belong together?

Draco- I'm hot!

Good, good, an excellent point. Miss Granger, if you could state your first reason?

Hermione- I've turned completely shallow!

Indeed you have. Mr Malfoy, do you have anything to add?

Draco- I'm a misunderstood little rich boy!

What woman doesn't like that? Now, Miss Granger...?

Hermione- I think I can change him!

Inspired. Now Mr Malfoy, some ignorant readers may point out that you have a rather bigoted attitude, what do you say to that?

Draco- When have I ever appeared bigoted?

Precisely Mr Malfoy. Miss Granger, many would question why a liberal young activist like you would want to go out with the wizard who is racist in nearly every single way?

Hermione- Oh but darling Draco isn't racist any more, he completely changed overnight and for no apparent reason.

Well, I don't think anything else needs to be said but perhaps the two of you could sum up your relationship for the nice readers?

Draco- I'm hot!

Hermione- Oh, he's so hot and blond! I don't need any other reason!

And there you have it. Join us next time for more non canon pairings that clearly should have happened. This is Professor Marvellous Balderdash bidding you good night.

Author's note. Suggestion on other brilliant reasons for couples to be together would be very welcome. Only non canon pairings mind you. Thanks.