1:53 PM 5/26/2002
E-mail: [email protected]
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: "A story that is SPECTACULAR in some ways, and, at the same time, quite ordinary. A story that could
happen anywhere, and nowhere..." -Tenchi Muyo
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: Hi and welcome to Part 3 of "Me Myself and I"! I'm Chuquita, and this is my cohost and co-cohost, Veggie & Son-San!
[turns to her right to see Son; Veggie is missing]
Goku: HI CHU-SAMA! (waves)
Chuquita: (blinks) Where's Veggie?
Goku: Shopping.
Chuquita: (cocks her head) VEGGIE went SHOPPING?! FOR WHAT!
Vegeta: [enters the room carrying several large white boxes in his arms; whistling] (happily) Hello Chu! Hi Kakay!
[sits down]
Chuquita: So, Veggie, what's in the boxes?
Vegeta: (clueless) Boxes? What boxes?
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) The boxes you're HOLDING. You know, in your HANDS.
Vegeta: [looks down at boxes] ..oh? THESE?
Chuquita: (groans) Yes, THOSE Veggie.
Vegeta: ...yup. They're certainly boxes alright.
Chuquita: (frustrated) And what's IN the boxes, Veggie?
Vegeta: Nothing...important. Really, it's, uh, nothing--HEY! [Son grabs the boxes away from him] AHH NO DON'T!
Goku: [opens boxes to reveal several sundresses and a white ballgown] ... (blinks) Uhh--
Chuquita: --Veggie? (slowly) What are you doing with all these dresses?
Goku: [holds one up] They're way too big for Bulma--(gasps) VEGGIE! You're not CHEATING on her ARE YOU!?
Vegeta: (offended) NO OF COURSE NOT! (angrily) I would never to that to Bul-chan!
Goku: Then...they're YOURS?
Vegeta: (gawks) WHAT?! NO! (little smile) If you must know, they're for you, you know, incase Chu decides to give in to
Piccolo's idea.
Goku: (pale white) You bought me a ballgown?
Chuquita: Veggie's starting to scare me.
Vegeta: There's NOTHING scary about it. (to Son) You'd be about the same height if she zaps you, right?
Goku: (blushes) I DON'T KNOW!!!
Chuquita: (groans and shakes her head)
Goku: (to Chu) This is a weird conversation.
Vegeta: [holding up a tape-measure] Here, hold still.
Goku: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!
Vegeta: I'm measuring your waist. (glares at him) You got a problem with that?
Goku: (wails) CHUUUUUUU!!!
Chuquita: VEDGE CUT IT OUT! You're scaring him!...(mumbles) You're scaring me too.
Vegeta: And what's so scary about me measuring his waist?
Chuquita: Nothing! It's just that---listen I--
Goku: --Chu doesn't even know if she's going to listen to Piccy yet so leave me alone!
Chuquita: Well, actually I WAS planning on using his idea.
Goku: WHAT???
Vegeta: (humming happily as he folds the ballgown back into its box)
Piccolo: [standing next to Veggie] (smirking) You know, I wouldn't be so happy if I was you?
Vegeta: Hmm? (looks up at him; curious)
Goku: (gets the idea) Yeah Veggie, I might do something bad.
Vegeta: [face goes blank] Bad?
Piccolo: That's right, Son here might surprise you.
Goku: (nods) Umm-hmm. (slyly) (leaning close to Veggie) Infact, I might just lock us in that coat closet over there and--
[whispers the rest into Veggie's ear]
Vegeta: (eyes widen till they take up half his head) (glowing bright red) (shocked) You can...do that?
Goku: (liar-liar-pants-on-fire) (sugary-sweet) You bet, V-chan.
Vegeta: (instantly gets up) (quickly) I'm-leaving-now-bye-Chu! [teleports out]
[Chu & Pic stare at Son; gawking]
Piccolo: What did you SAY to him!
Goku: Something that Chi-chan tells me.
Chuquita: What's so bad about that?
Goku: (evil grin) Something that wouldn't survive our "G" rating, either.
Chuquita: (shock) ...oh.
Piccolo: (laughs) I didn't know Goku could BE evil.
Goku: (happy-boy) HEE!
Chuquita: On with Part 3!
Summary: If you are me then who am I? During a sparing match Veggie spontaniously begins to wonder what it would be like if
HE were in charge of Goku's body. Not paying attention, he accidently hits Goku too hard and knocks the large saiyajin
unconsious. The slightly guilty ouji goes to bed that night only to wake up as "Kakarrot" himself! Is Goku slowly going crazy
or has Veggie's wish, out of some bizarre coincidence, been granted? And if so, who is in Veggie's real body!? Find out!
Chuquita: You know, I'm kind of hoping they WILL make that live-action dbz movie.
Goku: (gawks) You're kidding?! WHY?!
Chuquita: Movie=merchandising=dbz import stuff to King of Prussia Mall's comic store=saiyajin plushies and Goku & Veggie
comedy doujinshi for me!
Goku: That's quite a stretch.
Chuquita: Yes.
Goku: Why do you need all that stuff.
Chuquita: (stares at him; then sobs) (over-dramatization) BECAUSE I HAVE NO DOUJINSHI! AND I WANT SOME! *sob*
Piccolo: I don't think they MAKE comedic slap-stick doujinshi with Goku and Vegeta in it.
Chuquita: They don't? Then what DO they make with them?
Piccolo: ...
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Nevermind. I get it.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
::I never considered, what would be happening to my own body while I was in Kakarrot's.:: Vegeta thought to himself
in panic as he looked down at his own body, who was staring up at him peculiarly, ::Wait...if I'm here, then the person in
my body right now must be--:: " --AHH! " Vegeta shrieked.
" What? "
" Uh, nuh-nothing. " Vegeta laughed nervously, frightening images of Goku reeking havoc in the ouji's body; stuffing
his face with FISH; running around squealing hystrically for no good reason; skinnydip-fishing. Vegeta gulped.
:::"Don't I make a cute little ouji, Veggie? " Goku giggled, smiling up at Vegeta with a big goofy grin; poking at
two little dimples on his borrowed cheeks, " Almost even cuter than you! " he pointed to the orange gi he was wearing on
Vegeta's body, " Look I made one just for you! Little--I mean, *giggle*, BIG buddy Veggie! ":::
" Ehhh, ehhh, " Goku's face was a stark white from the vision, however, the person infront of him had on a grumpy,
"Mr. Pouty Face" expression which was normal for the ouji to be wearing, ::Wow Kakarrotto's good at being me:: Vegeta
mentally commented to himself.
" Kakarrot, can you tell me where you found, uhh, that item of clothing? " the person in Vegeta's body said, slightly
embarassed.
" I found it in your secret closet with the rest of those clothes. " Vegeta pointed to the other costumes on the bed,
" Kind of ironic that they're all specified just to fit "my" body, huh? "
The small saiyajin's face went red, " Heh-heh-heh, yeah, ironic. Very. " he laughed nervously, " Umm, Kakarrot, about
me hitting you the other day--during the fight I mean; I, uh, I'm suh--suh--sorrreee. *pant* Sorry. I'm sorry. " he sputtered
, " Chi-Chi said I might have caused brain damage, but I never really expected, well, " he pointed to the outfit on Goku's
body, " THIS. "
" What are you talking about? " Vegeta said, confused.
" The hit, I HIT you on the back of your head, by ACCIDENT, REMEMBER! " the ouji replied, then muttered, " To tell
the truth I was really daydreaming about punching that EVIL WITCH LADY at the time please don't hurt me for saying that Bulma
told me to tell you the truth it wasn't my idea. " he looked down at the ground.
Vegeta blinked for a second, then burst into laughter, " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're a riot, Kakarrotto! You really
sounded like me that time! For a second there I really thought I'd gone crazy. "
His body stared back up at him with consern, " What did you call me? "
" Kakarrot, feh, you baka. Thought you could fool your "little buddy" into thinking he lost his mind, huh? " Vegeta
grinned at him, blinking one eye.
" ... " the small saiyajin stared at him with his jaw hanging open. He suddenly turned his back to Vegeta and started
screaming at the top of his lungs, " ONNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! "
" You're telling me WHAT? " Bulma said, gawking at the small ouji.
" Onna, you'll never believe this! He thinks he's ME! " Vegeta pointed to himself, " Well, actually it's more along
the lines of he thinks he's me and has somehow been wished or swapped bodies with Kakarrot. "
" So he's-- "
" --acting just like me if I had the chance to be Kakarrot for the day. " Vegeta finished her sentence.
Bulma blinked, " Wow. You can tell you've been married to somebody for a long time when you can-- "
" --finish off their sentences. "
" ... "
" ... "
" VEGETA CUT THAT OUT!! " Bulma yelled, shaking her fist in the air.
He snickered, " Sorry Bul-chan. "
" My GOD! " Bulma snorted, then peered around the corner to the living room. The larger saiyajin was now laying on
the couch, still in the french maid uniform, " Poor Goku. " she said sadly, then cocked an eyebrow, " Where did he get a
french maid uniform big enough to fit him?! "
Vegeta sweatdropped, " Huh--how should _I_ know! "
" I didn't say you did, I just-- " Bulma looked back at him, " You customized a FRENCH MAID uniform for him?! "
" Along with about a dozen other to-remain-nameless Kaka-costumes. " Vegeta looked around innocently.
" How did he find that stuff so quickly? " Bulma scratched her head, " If I know you, which I do, you would probably
keep something like that locked away pretty secretly. "
" I guess he must have gotten that little tidbit of information from back when we "fused" with one another. This is
probably some kind of temporary Portara earring side-effect. " Vegeta shrugged.
" Or MAYBE it's because YOU CONKED HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR FAT FIST YOU NEANDERTHAL!!! " Bulma screamed in his
face.
" Hmmph, no reason to get "iffy". Neh! " Vegeta stuck his tongue out at her.
" *DING*DONG*! *DING*DONG*! VEGETA!!! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!! " Chi-Chi's voice roared from behind the front door.
" Oh no! Chi-Chi! " Bulma squeaked out, " Who knows what kind of things Goku's done to her this morning if he thought
he was YOU! "
" Yeah, she's probably going to come in and say it's all MY fault! " Vegeta pouted stubbornly, crossing his arms.
" It _IS_ all your fault, Vegeta! " Bulma snapped at him.
" Oh, so it is. " Vegeta said, " ...oh well! " he grinned.
" GAH! " Bulma fell down, animé style, " VEGETAAHHHH! "
" YAAAH! " Chi-Chi's foot just burst through the front door.
" That's not a good sign. " Vegeta gulped.
" DIE OUJI OF EVIL! " Chi-Chi kicked down the door and stomped into the room, followed meekly by Gohan. Goten ended
the Son parade, skipping in.
" Hi Bulma hi Uncle Veggie I'm going to play with Trunks now bye! " Goten said cheerfully as if nothing had happened
and skipped up the stairs whistling. The source of his contentment revealed in the bow-and-arrow sets he had tied around his
back.
" Heh-heh, cute kid. " Bulma laughed nervously at Chi-Chi, who, fortunately for Bulma, pushed her aside and glowered
at the ouji.
" ERRRRRR... "
" You know, you shouldn't bare your teeth like that Onna, they'll STAY that way. " Vegeta snickered.
" WHERE'S MY GOKU YOU PIG! " Chi-Chi roared.
" Pig? That's the best you could come up with? " Vegeta said, slightly disappointed.
" Oh, you're right. Oh-kay. CREEP! "
Vegeta smiled, " Better. "
" Here I am, Onna. " Goku said in a sing-song voice, draping across the couch.
Chi-Chi glanced over at him and shrieked, " AHHH! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!!! " she glared at Vegeta, grabbed him by the
collar and held him up slammed back-against-the-wall, " _YOU'RE_ PUTTING HIM UP TO THIS _AREN'T YOU_! IT'S SOME KIND OF OUJI
_MIND-CONTROL_ ISN'T IT! "
" No, demon-onna, this happened to be MY OWN idea. " the large saiyajin pointed to his head.
Chi-Chi turned towards Goku, then back to Vegeta, who was still pinned against the wall, " Oh...WELL IT'S STILL ALL
YOUR FAULT ANYWAY! YOU HIT HIM! " she shouted, then slapped him, only to feel someone grab her.
" V-sama can hit me whenever he wants, WHERE-ever he wants. " Goku said, holding her up, " Isn't that right,
V-sama? "
" Ehhhhh, hhhhhh... " Vegeta turned away, his face glowing bright red. He frustratedly tried to cause the blood to
rush back out of his face. "
The large saiyajin blinked, ::Strange?! I just scholded the Onna and clearly stated Kakarrot's "servanthood" to his
prince and he hasn't even charged at me yet. Doesn't this BOTHER him!? I'm using his body for my own selfish purposes and all
he does is stand there and try to keep my face from glowing....glowing!?:: he put Chi-Chi down and walked infront of Vegeta,
" Kakarrot, your--my face is glowing. " Goku pointed to the ouji's face.
" You....numbskull... " Vegeta gritted through his teeth, his hands on his red cheeks.
" But, if you're in my body and you've gotten my face to glow like that--then that means-- "
" Yes? " Vegeta looked at him curiously.
" YOU LOVE ME TOO! " Goku clasped his hands together.
" AHH! NO NO NO! IT'S NOT TRUE IT'S NOT! " Vegeta stood up, facing him, his face glowing even more as he denied it.
::Kakarrotto....LOVES me. I can't believe it!:: he practically squealed outloud, ::Look at his, err, my face GLOW!
I don't think I glow that brightly MYSELF:: " Oh Kakarrotto-chan I cannot wait until tommorow when we switch back to our own
bodies again! " the saiyajin said happily.
Everyone stopped and stared at him.
" What did you just call him? " Chi-Chi said, shocked.
" As long as I know the feeling is mutual for Kakarrot over there I guess there's no reason not to let the cat out of
the bag. " he nodded, " Onna, yesterday I did a lot of thinking and I wished ever-so-much that for one day I could be
Kakarrot so I could finally take revenge upon you and all you've done to him! Depribing him of his peasanthood to me, shame
on you. " he smirked.
" I did, say SOMETHING like that to Kaka-chan yesterday. " Vegeta recalled.
" So if you people just want to sit around and wait for tommorow when we switch back that's just fine with me, but
as Kakarrot-of-the-day _I_ happen to have a few more tricks planned for this body. "
" You had PLANS? " Bulma looked down at Vegeta skeptically.
" You know those human "tattoo" parlors where they draw little red hearts on your tush with a 'special friend's' name
on it? "
" No, Vegeta, I don't WANT to know... " Bulma trailed off, a vein bulging on her forehead.
" Off I go into the world! Bye Kakay! " Goku waved coyly at the other saiyajin, then opened the door only to walk
into someone, namely Gohan.
" I can't let you do this, Toussan. I can't let you leave like this. There's something wrong with you. " Gohan said,
determined.
" Wrong!? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME KAKO-SPAWN! NOW MOVE! " he snarled, trying to push Gohan out of the way.
" Alright, Dad. " Gohan said solumnly, then, to everyone's shock, stepped aside. Goku ran out of Capsule Corp, only
to be tackled by a group of people in white coats, resulting in a large cartoon fight cloud. Which, after dissipating,
revealed Goku sitting there in a straightjacket.
" KAKAY!! " Vegeta shrieked, frightened.
" We'll take him in the truck, you and the others can follow and meet us at the hospital. " the head white-coat man
said to Gohan.
" Thanks, we appriciate it, " Gohan said, shaking his hand.
Vegeta and Goku stared at them, confused, " Hospital?? "
" West City Mental Wellness Facility? Who calls it it WELLNESS anyway! " Vegeta said as he sat in the waiting room
with the others. Chi-Chi, who was sitting next to him, continued to stare at the floor. Vegeta glanced over at her, feeling
a pang of guilt and sadness. He bit his tongue and patted her on the back, " It's alright, Onna. I'm sure Kakarrotto-chan
will be fine. "
" But what if he's NOT fine? " Chi-Chi looked up at him, still bent over, " What if they can't cure him Vegeta? "
she said with tears in her eyes.
The ouji's own eyes temporarily widened, " Don't say that, Chi-Chi. " he said in a softer voice. The rest of the
group gawked as they gave each other a small, short hug.
" Tell me I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing. " Bulma gawked.
" If you're seeing it then I'm seeing it too. " Gohan said weakly, " They're calling each other by their own names
and--yes--they just hugged each other. "
" It's offical, the world is coming to an end. " Bulma gulped.
Trunks was busy teasing one of the imprisioned patients with a piece of candy.
" TRUNKS GET AWAY FROM THERE! " Bulma shouted angrily. Trunks yelped and ran back to his seat.
" And then he said it was a secret and I wasn't supposed to tell anybody. " Goten said as the doctor escorted him out
of his office.
" So your father TOLD you he was this 'friend'-- "
" Little buddy. " Goten corrected him.
" Yes, his little buddy. " the doctor scribbled something down in his notes, " He told you he was really your Uncle
Vegeta in your Toussan's body? "
" Yup! He made a wish so he could be Toussan for a day and scare Mommy. " Goten said, then smiled, " But I still like
Uncle Veggie as Uncle Veggie better than Toussan. Toussan makes a MUCH BETTER Toussan than Uncle Veggie though.
" Well, " the doctor said, getting the group's attention, " I have good news, and bad news. "
Chi-Chi and Vegeta lept at the doctor and grabbed him, " IS HE OH-KAY! " Chi-Chi begged.
Vegeta snarled, " DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY KAKAY OR I SWEAR I'LL-- "
" --Calm down! Calm down! " the doctor said, pushing them away, " Nobody's going to hurt your "Kakay". " he brushed
himself off.
" Yeah, you better not! " Vegeta formed a ball of ki in his hand, only to make it disappear a second later.
The doctor led them down the hall, " You see, the bad news is your friend seems to be suffering from a mental
disorder. From what I've gotten from interviewing each of you, Mr. Son has been a little "tense" lately because of the
friction between Mrs. Son and Mr. Oujisama here. "
" Heh, no kidding. " Gohan muttered.
" It's not really "friction". " Bulma said, " It's more like "World War III". "
" Or Spy VS Spy; " Gohan added, " without that bombs of course. "
" *sniff* I'm so sorry this happened to poor Kakarrotto-chan. " Vegeta sobbed, an arm over Chi-Chi's shoulder, " I
promise I'll never try to steal him ever again! "
" *sob!* You're going to break that promise as soon as Goku gets better again, aren't you! " Chi-Chi said, also in
the middle of the sob-fest.
" *wail!* Yes I aaaaaaam! " Vegeta bawled.
The rest of the gang sweatdropped.
They entered a white hall with multiple large doors covering the walls. Little peep-windows were near the top of the
large white steel doors.
" What is this place. " Vegeta said in a small voice. He and Chi-Chi had since stopped crying.
" This is the part of the mental ward where they keep patients. " Chi-Chi whispered back.
" I figured you WOULD know that, having the EXPERIENCE and all. " the ouji smirked, then yelped as Chi-Chi grabbed
him by the neck and started to strangle him.
" THIS *SMACK* IS *SMACK* NO *SMACK* TIME *SMACK* FOR YOU TO GET UPPITY WITH ME!!! " Chi-Chi screamed at the top of
her lungs, then froze to see the doctor staring at them peculiarly. She dropped the smirking Vegeta and laughed nervously,
" Hahahahahaha! He's such a kidder that Vegeta. Hahahaha! " she raised her fist, then purposely bopped him on the head, hard.
" OWW! " Vegeta reached for his head, then growled lowly at Chi-Chi.
" Hmm, " the doctor scribbled something down in his notes.
" You better not be writing about me you bakayaro! " Vegeta snorted at him, " Or the Onna either! " he motioned to
Chi-Chi, who gave him a slight "thank you" nod.
" Tell me, Mrs. Son. How long have you and Mr. Oujisama known each other? " the doctor asked.
" Uhh, I met him shortly after he and the nameks were teleported back to Earth. At first he just seemed like an odd,
peppy guy. " Chi-Chi said, " Like Goku--only a little more stressed out. "
" WHO ARE YOU CALLING ODD! " Vegeta snapped at her.
" You spent the first two weeks at Capsule Corp running through the hallways hooting "Ha-ha take that Freezer; die
Freezer die!". " Chi-Chi exclaimed.
" Oh-kay....maybe I _DID_ do SOMETHING like that. " Vegeta crossed his arms stubbornly.
" After that he kind of sunk into a grumpy mood; stole Dr. Brief's spaceship; flew off into space for a year; and
returned the crazed obsessive little maniac we all know today. " Chi-Chi said.
" Space is a cold place. " Vegeta nodded, " A lonely cold place, is space. I spent that whole YEAR in search of
Kakarrotto so he could teach me how to become a super saiyajin...but I never found him...until he came back home...and
laughed at my pink shirt that Bulma had forced me to wear. " he narrowed his eyes, " That was cold...just like space. "
Chi-Chi rolled her eyes at him, skeptically. Vegeta glared back.
" WHAT! " he yelled.
" Mr. Oujisama, " the doctor said, changing the subject, " How long have YOU known Mrs. Son? "
" 11 years 5 months, 2 days, 6 hours, 33 minutes and-- " Vegeta glanced at his watch, " 10--no--11 seconds. "
Chi-Chi slapped herself on the forehead.
" Mrs. Son, your children say you and Mr. Oujisama argue a lot over-- " the doctor flipped a couple pages back in his
notepad, " Whom Mr. Son "belongs" to? "
" HE THINKS HE CAN JUST TAKE GOKU AWAY BECAUSE HE'S A SAIYAJIN TOO! " Chi-Chi shouted, then pointed at Vegeta with
rage, " WELL _YOU_ DIDN'T HAVE TO CARRY HIS CHILD IN _YOUR_ BELLY FOR NINE MONTHS _DID YOU_! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH
LABOR _TWICE_ DID YOU! "
" ... " Vegeta blinked, " I can't say I have. "
" He doesn't even care about Go-chan's own feelings. All he wants from him is some slave-boy to do his own bidding!
And it's only so he can soothe his battered ego because his PLANET BLEW UP! " Chi-Chi said.
" HEY! WAIT JUST A MINUTE! First of all, it's not "slave-boy", it's servant-maid; and I had LOTS of them back on
Bejito-sei! As crown prince I should be waited on hand-and-foot. But then Freezer came and took that all away from me. I HAD
NOTHING! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH BEING SOMEBODY'S LACKEY; disposable even; WHILE KNOWING THAT _YOU_ SHOULD AND WOULD
HAVE BEEN A RULER YOURSELF HAD CIRCUMSTANCE NOT CHANGED THAT! " he paused, " And I do CARE about Kaka-chan's feelings. I
never physically HURT you, have I? " he said to Chi-Chi, who bit her lip.
" No, you haven't. "
" You see! That's the problem. " the doctor shook his head.
" You mean I should start smacking her? " Vegeta beamed.
" OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOT--*cough*--I mean, no. " the doctor sweatdropped, " Mr. Son is torn between wanting to keep
you happy and Chi-Chi happy. He obviously cares for you both; but has trouble excepting the fact that you cannot care for
each other. It is hard because two of the people he loves have such a burning rage against one another. It's, sort of like
a similar situation to a child living with parents who are in an unhappy marriage. He feels as though its his fault; like he
cannot find a way to change how you feel about each other. However, I have never seen a case quite like Mr. Son's before.
The way he reacted; by thinking he is Mr. Oujisama, is probably his way of imitating to try to please that person's will. "
" But why Vegeta? " Bulma asked, " Why didn't he wake up imitating Chi-Chi? "
The doctor turned to the group, " Which one of you was recieving the most verbal abuse by the other on the day of
Mr. Son's accident? "
" Vegeta was. " Gohan sighed.
" Well, there you go. " the doctor shrugged, " Follow me, he's in a room right down the hall. " they walked on, then
stopped infront of one of the large doors. The doctor carefully opened the little window at the top of the door, " Hello
Mr. Son? Your friends are here to see you. "
Chi-Chi and Gohan peeked inside the window to see Goku sitting in the corner of the padded room, wearing a
straightjacket, " Oh Go-chan. " she said sadly, " I can't bear to see him like that. " the large saiyajin looked up at them.
" Where's Kakarrotto? " Goku said in a small voice, beggingly.
" YOU'RE Kakarrotto, Toussan. " Gohan said quietly.
" No, you don't understand! " his voice wavered a bit, " I'm not supposed to be in here! I don't belong in here!
Kakarrot believes me! He'll agree with me! "
Vegeta, who was too short to reach the window, floated upward and pushed Gohan's head aside to see in.
" KAKARROTTO! " Goku grinned, then lept to his feet and ran over to the door, " Kakarrot tell them! Tell them I'm not
crazy! We just switched bodies for a day! Like in that movie! Tell them I'm really your little buddy, please! They'll listen
to you. EVERYBODY listens to you Kakarrotto! "
" ... " Vegeta just stared at him blankly.
" Kaka-CHAN! PLEASE! " he sobbed, banging his head against the door, " Please tell them Kakay, please tell them! "
" We're going to need to keep Mr. Son for observation for a couple weeks. " the doctor adjusted his glasses, " It
could take up to two months before he becomes completely rehabilitated again. "
" Two months? IN HERE! " Goku yelped, " I CAN'T STAY IN HERE TWO MONTHS! I HAVE TRAINING TO DO! I HAVE TO REACH
LEVEL 3 SO I CAN DEFEAT KAKARROT! "
Vegeta cocked his head at the large saiyajin.
" OOH! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU SUDDENLY SHUT UP KAKARRROT! IS IT BECAUSE _I'M_ HERE! " Goku shouted at Vegeta, " As soon
as I enter the conversation you decide to play it stupid and just float there in pity! Well I wish I knew why you aren't
helping me because after tonight when we switch back it's going to be YOU in this padded room instead of ME! "
" He does an uncanny impression of Vegeta. " Bulma muttered, shocked.
" IT'S NOT AN IMPRESSION ONNA!! I _AM_ VEGETA!! AND _HE_ IS KAKARROTTO! I had DINNER with you last night! " Goku
wailed, " Remember! I felt so darned bad about K.O'ing him I didn't eat! You and Mirai looked at me like I was CRAZY! And--
--and Trunks! He's the one who blabbed to you about the fight; and you made me stay home when you went over to check on
Kakarrot and that witch! " he said, exasperated, " Isn't that enough proof for you? "
Bulma stared at him for a long time, then spoke up, " I'm sorry we have to do this to you Goku. But we have no choice
...and it's for the best. "
" ...no. No onna, not you too! " Goku cried.
" Don't worry, sweetheart, we'll come to check on you now and then; until the two months are up. " Chi-Chi said,
patting him on the cheek.
" But--but--no...please NO! " Goku said pitifully as he watched them all leave back into the other room, following
the doctor. Vegeta stood there infront of him for a moment. The two staring at each other. Goku hung his head and sighed,
" Vegeta? "
The small saiyajin broke into a wide grin. Goku bolted to attention.
" KAKARROT!! " he gawked.
" HEE. " Vegeta giggled. Goku's jaw dropped to the floor, " Silly Veggie! I am good at being little. "
" Kakarrotto, Kakarrotto you go back there and tell them who you are RIGHT NOW! " the ouji threatened, his voice
wavering.
Goku floated backwards a little bit, still grinning at his body in the cell, " See you in two months! " he waved,
" Byebye Veggie I love you! "
Vegeta watched the small figure float to the ground, then happily skip down the hall, laughing joyfully until he got
towards the door to the doctors room and began to walk in a more Vegeta-like manner.
" KAKARROT! YOU COME BACK HERE!! KAKARROT?....KA-KA-RRRRROOOOOOOOOT!!!! "
*****************************************************************************************************************************
5:58 PM 5/28/2002
THE END
Chuquita: TA-DA!
Goku: (gasp) So it really WAS Veggie AFTER ALL! He DID get his wish!
Chuquita: Or maybe he didn't. Maybe that was just Vedge-head playing with your mind at the end there.
Goku: Really?
Chuquita: (shrugs) Who knows! I'm not even sure myself who was who. (a-HEM) (uses her twilight-zone voice) Vegeta Oujisama;
a man who has played a game against his own mind--and lost. They say the limits of the human mind are endless, and Vegeta has
just proven them right, on the outskirts of The Twilight Zone.
Goku: Doodeedoodeedoodeedoodee--DOOOO!!
Chuquita: (grins) Oh-kay! We're done.
Goku: So what now?
Chuquita: Veggie hasn't come back yet.
Piccolo: (coughs loudly)
Chuquita: If I didn't know better I'd say you wanted something.
Piccolo: Could be.
Chuquita: ...well?
Piccolo: (turns to Son) How would you feel about being the first female saiyajin in the Corner?
Goku: (uneasy) Well...it would just be for ONE story, RIGHT? (glances at Chu)
Chuquita: Yeah, pretty much. But that's your decision.
Piccolo: (grins) Come on! Help me screw the ouji's mind up some more!
Chuquita: Yes! Let's disturb Veggie!
Piccolo: But surprise him first.
Chuquita: Of course.
Goku: Uhhh, (deep in thought) (happily) WHAT THE HEY!
Chuquita: Alright Son-kun, here goes! [zaps him]
Girl Goku: Oooooh, lookit me! I'M PRETTY! (giggles) Veggie's gonna be SOOOOOOO jealous.
Chuquita: Or frightened.
Piccolo: Or turned on.
[all stare at him]
Chuquita: (to Pic) (flatly) You plan on making this as painful as possible for Vegeta, don't you Piccolo?
Piccolo: Can I help it if I enjoy seeing him tortured.
Chuquita: Umm, I don't torture, I just punish when seen fit.
Girl Goku: (now in one of the sundresses Veggie brought in earlier) Don't I look Beauuuutiful?
Chuquita: (points to Son) Now Goku, he's torturous!
Piccolo: I see what you mean...he does it UNKNOWINGLY of course...but still.
Chuquita: We need to come up with a new name for you.
Girl Goku: We do?
Chuquita: Yes, after all, we gave Veggie one back in Meadow Muffins.
Piccolo: (recalls) Heeheehee, "Veggilina".
Girl Goku: Piccolo wasn't even there at the time.
Chuquita: (shrugs) Go figure. (thinks) How about, Kayka!
Piccolo: Kayka?
Chuquita: Yeah, it's Kakay...in pig latin.
Kayka: IIIIII LIKE IT! (big grin)
Piccolo: (snickers) Boy this is going to be fun when Vegeta comes back.
Chuquita: Hai. Last time I saw him he was running away in fright.
Piccolo: (to Son) Kayka, when Vegeta finally comes back, DON'T tell him who you are right away.
Kayka: Why?
Piccolo: You know, let him guess. It's a game.
Kayka: (smiles) A game? I LIKE GAMES PICCY!
Piccolo: Yes, I know you do. (laughs maniacally) This is going to be more fun then Tuesday Happy Hour at Dende's. Haha! I
love it. [walks offstage]
Chuquita: (looks at her watch) Well everybody, it's getting to be that time again.
Kayka: Time to sing the fun song?
Chuquita: No.
Kayka: Time to countdown Letterman's top 10 stupid pet tricks?
Chuquita: No.
Kayka: Time to put our arms behind our backs and do the chicken dance?
Chuquita: NO! (to audiance) It's time to give a little sneak preview of the upcoming fics!
[confetti floats down from the ceiling]
Kayka: WHEE!
Chuquita: (to audiance) Anyone remember that list of 8 story ideas I wrote about at the end of "Little Buddy"? Well, I'd like
to announce that I've finished 4 of them! (that is if I don't go back to "You Gonna Eat That" for another parodied episode)
And the 4 remaining fics are:
4) dna mix-up fic. Bulma does some tests on the boys and Veggie mistakes Goku's dna sample for his. The shocked prince now
thinks he too is a peasant. Vegeta then goes to Son, begging him to teach the ouji how to be a thrid-class saiyajin like
himself. Now the ouji must undergo a series of 'to him' humiliating tasks. Will he survive? What happens when he finds out
about the mix-up?
8) Kako-germs. Based on a comic strip I wrote. Vegeta actually proves Goku's so called kako-germs really exist. When the
little creatures realize who's watching them they spring for a new home on the saiyajin prince. How will Veggie get rid of
them? What happens when he decides to NOT get rid of them? Will Goku be germ-less forever?
3) Piccy fic. Piccolo uses a stupifying potion to turn the entire planet into mindless minions so he can finally succeed in
his long-unfufilled quest for world domination? But what happens when the plot backfires and the people become too stupid to
perform simple tasks? How will Piccolo undo what he's done?
And
1) Goku runs off to join the circus; literally. Now Veggie, Mirai, and Bura have to stop him before he makes the biggest
mistake of his life.
Chuquita: Not necessarily to be written in that order. And I also have another brand-new fic idea about Vejitto!
Kayka: Me and Veggie's fusion baby?
Chuquita: Yeah, the idea is this. Remember how everyone Buu killed gets wished back to life. Well I have a theory that
Vejitto is his own seperate person because the portara earrings created him. In the show yourself you even say, quote;
"{Goku:} Right. Then a super strong warrior will be born from the mixture of our strengths!" If he's born he's gotta exist.
Kayka: I follow you so far.
Chuquita: I have it starting out with King Yemma telling Dende (this is after they defeat Buu) that he can't just keep
Vejitto here because he's included with the rest of the people on Earth. So Dende unwillingly takes Vejitto back to Kami's
Tower and Vejitto sets out on a journey to find his unsuspecting parents.
Kayka: Heehee, heeheehee.
Chuquita: But first I'm going to take a mini-break and get this other story that's been sitting in my head for the past
several days out and onto notepad. It shouldn't take more than 2-3 days.
Kayka: (cocks an eyebrow) Then why is it called a "break"?
Chuquita: Because it's a Tenchi fic (my second) and you won't find it here because this is the Dragonball Z section. It'll
be a short one-part mini-fic called "KABOOM!"
Kayka: Not a very happy title.
Chuquita: The storyline's a combo of a Spongebob Squarepants episode and an actual Tenchi comic I have. Washu creates a
pie-bomb; Mihoshi accidentally eats it; and the gang tries to get rid of the bomb and keep her from blowing up and taking
them all with her at the same time.
Kayka: (rubs tummy) I love PIE!
Chuquita: (happily) Who doesn't! Cya next time everybody!
Kayka: BYE!
Chuquita: OH! BTW, this Corner WON'T continue into the Tenchi mini-fic but continue after when I come back to write the next
DBZ story which will probably be #4 on my list up there. Veggie's gonna be with me in the Corner for the mini-fic along with
our special guest Ayeka.
Kayka: (sniffles) But what about me?
Chuquita: I can't have you there like--the way you are right now. Besides, how are you supposed to scare Veggie if he's there
already!
Kayka: Good point.
Chuquita: Now we say goodbye.
Kayka: BYE EVERYONE! WE WILL SEE YOU SOON!
Chuquita: Bye!
Kayka: VEGGIE LOVES ME!
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) I'm sure he does....
E-mail: [email protected]
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: "A story that is SPECTACULAR in some ways, and, at the same time, quite ordinary. A story that could
happen anywhere, and nowhere..." -Tenchi Muyo
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: Hi and welcome to Part 3 of "Me Myself and I"! I'm Chuquita, and this is my cohost and co-cohost, Veggie & Son-San!
[turns to her right to see Son; Veggie is missing]
Goku: HI CHU-SAMA! (waves)
Chuquita: (blinks) Where's Veggie?
Goku: Shopping.
Chuquita: (cocks her head) VEGGIE went SHOPPING?! FOR WHAT!
Vegeta: [enters the room carrying several large white boxes in his arms; whistling] (happily) Hello Chu! Hi Kakay!
[sits down]
Chuquita: So, Veggie, what's in the boxes?
Vegeta: (clueless) Boxes? What boxes?
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) The boxes you're HOLDING. You know, in your HANDS.
Vegeta: [looks down at boxes] ..oh? THESE?
Chuquita: (groans) Yes, THOSE Veggie.
Vegeta: ...yup. They're certainly boxes alright.
Chuquita: (frustrated) And what's IN the boxes, Veggie?
Vegeta: Nothing...important. Really, it's, uh, nothing--HEY! [Son grabs the boxes away from him] AHH NO DON'T!
Goku: [opens boxes to reveal several sundresses and a white ballgown] ... (blinks) Uhh--
Chuquita: --Veggie? (slowly) What are you doing with all these dresses?
Goku: [holds one up] They're way too big for Bulma--(gasps) VEGGIE! You're not CHEATING on her ARE YOU!?
Vegeta: (offended) NO OF COURSE NOT! (angrily) I would never to that to Bul-chan!
Goku: Then...they're YOURS?
Vegeta: (gawks) WHAT?! NO! (little smile) If you must know, they're for you, you know, incase Chu decides to give in to
Piccolo's idea.
Goku: (pale white) You bought me a ballgown?
Chuquita: Veggie's starting to scare me.
Vegeta: There's NOTHING scary about it. (to Son) You'd be about the same height if she zaps you, right?
Goku: (blushes) I DON'T KNOW!!!
Chuquita: (groans and shakes her head)
Goku: (to Chu) This is a weird conversation.
Vegeta: [holding up a tape-measure] Here, hold still.
Goku: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!
Vegeta: I'm measuring your waist. (glares at him) You got a problem with that?
Goku: (wails) CHUUUUUUU!!!
Chuquita: VEDGE CUT IT OUT! You're scaring him!...(mumbles) You're scaring me too.
Vegeta: And what's so scary about me measuring his waist?
Chuquita: Nothing! It's just that---listen I--
Goku: --Chu doesn't even know if she's going to listen to Piccy yet so leave me alone!
Chuquita: Well, actually I WAS planning on using his idea.
Goku: WHAT???
Vegeta: (humming happily as he folds the ballgown back into its box)
Piccolo: [standing next to Veggie] (smirking) You know, I wouldn't be so happy if I was you?
Vegeta: Hmm? (looks up at him; curious)
Goku: (gets the idea) Yeah Veggie, I might do something bad.
Vegeta: [face goes blank] Bad?
Piccolo: That's right, Son here might surprise you.
Goku: (nods) Umm-hmm. (slyly) (leaning close to Veggie) Infact, I might just lock us in that coat closet over there and--
[whispers the rest into Veggie's ear]
Vegeta: (eyes widen till they take up half his head) (glowing bright red) (shocked) You can...do that?
Goku: (liar-liar-pants-on-fire) (sugary-sweet) You bet, V-chan.
Vegeta: (instantly gets up) (quickly) I'm-leaving-now-bye-Chu! [teleports out]
[Chu & Pic stare at Son; gawking]
Piccolo: What did you SAY to him!
Goku: Something that Chi-chan tells me.
Chuquita: What's so bad about that?
Goku: (evil grin) Something that wouldn't survive our "G" rating, either.
Chuquita: (shock) ...oh.
Piccolo: (laughs) I didn't know Goku could BE evil.
Goku: (happy-boy) HEE!
Chuquita: On with Part 3!
Summary: If you are me then who am I? During a sparing match Veggie spontaniously begins to wonder what it would be like if
HE were in charge of Goku's body. Not paying attention, he accidently hits Goku too hard and knocks the large saiyajin
unconsious. The slightly guilty ouji goes to bed that night only to wake up as "Kakarrot" himself! Is Goku slowly going crazy
or has Veggie's wish, out of some bizarre coincidence, been granted? And if so, who is in Veggie's real body!? Find out!
Chuquita: You know, I'm kind of hoping they WILL make that live-action dbz movie.
Goku: (gawks) You're kidding?! WHY?!
Chuquita: Movie=merchandising=dbz import stuff to King of Prussia Mall's comic store=saiyajin plushies and Goku & Veggie
comedy doujinshi for me!
Goku: That's quite a stretch.
Chuquita: Yes.
Goku: Why do you need all that stuff.
Chuquita: (stares at him; then sobs) (over-dramatization) BECAUSE I HAVE NO DOUJINSHI! AND I WANT SOME! *sob*
Piccolo: I don't think they MAKE comedic slap-stick doujinshi with Goku and Vegeta in it.
Chuquita: They don't? Then what DO they make with them?
Piccolo: ...
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Nevermind. I get it.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
::I never considered, what would be happening to my own body while I was in Kakarrot's.:: Vegeta thought to himself
in panic as he looked down at his own body, who was staring up at him peculiarly, ::Wait...if I'm here, then the person in
my body right now must be--:: " --AHH! " Vegeta shrieked.
" What? "
" Uh, nuh-nothing. " Vegeta laughed nervously, frightening images of Goku reeking havoc in the ouji's body; stuffing
his face with FISH; running around squealing hystrically for no good reason; skinnydip-fishing. Vegeta gulped.
:::"Don't I make a cute little ouji, Veggie? " Goku giggled, smiling up at Vegeta with a big goofy grin; poking at
two little dimples on his borrowed cheeks, " Almost even cuter than you! " he pointed to the orange gi he was wearing on
Vegeta's body, " Look I made one just for you! Little--I mean, *giggle*, BIG buddy Veggie! ":::
" Ehhh, ehhh, " Goku's face was a stark white from the vision, however, the person infront of him had on a grumpy,
"Mr. Pouty Face" expression which was normal for the ouji to be wearing, ::Wow Kakarrotto's good at being me:: Vegeta
mentally commented to himself.
" Kakarrot, can you tell me where you found, uhh, that item of clothing? " the person in Vegeta's body said, slightly
embarassed.
" I found it in your secret closet with the rest of those clothes. " Vegeta pointed to the other costumes on the bed,
" Kind of ironic that they're all specified just to fit "my" body, huh? "
The small saiyajin's face went red, " Heh-heh-heh, yeah, ironic. Very. " he laughed nervously, " Umm, Kakarrot, about
me hitting you the other day--during the fight I mean; I, uh, I'm suh--suh--sorrreee. *pant* Sorry. I'm sorry. " he sputtered
, " Chi-Chi said I might have caused brain damage, but I never really expected, well, " he pointed to the outfit on Goku's
body, " THIS. "
" What are you talking about? " Vegeta said, confused.
" The hit, I HIT you on the back of your head, by ACCIDENT, REMEMBER! " the ouji replied, then muttered, " To tell
the truth I was really daydreaming about punching that EVIL WITCH LADY at the time please don't hurt me for saying that Bulma
told me to tell you the truth it wasn't my idea. " he looked down at the ground.
Vegeta blinked for a second, then burst into laughter, " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're a riot, Kakarrotto! You really
sounded like me that time! For a second there I really thought I'd gone crazy. "
His body stared back up at him with consern, " What did you call me? "
" Kakarrot, feh, you baka. Thought you could fool your "little buddy" into thinking he lost his mind, huh? " Vegeta
grinned at him, blinking one eye.
" ... " the small saiyajin stared at him with his jaw hanging open. He suddenly turned his back to Vegeta and started
screaming at the top of his lungs, " ONNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! "
" You're telling me WHAT? " Bulma said, gawking at the small ouji.
" Onna, you'll never believe this! He thinks he's ME! " Vegeta pointed to himself, " Well, actually it's more along
the lines of he thinks he's me and has somehow been wished or swapped bodies with Kakarrot. "
" So he's-- "
" --acting just like me if I had the chance to be Kakarrot for the day. " Vegeta finished her sentence.
Bulma blinked, " Wow. You can tell you've been married to somebody for a long time when you can-- "
" --finish off their sentences. "
" ... "
" ... "
" VEGETA CUT THAT OUT!! " Bulma yelled, shaking her fist in the air.
He snickered, " Sorry Bul-chan. "
" My GOD! " Bulma snorted, then peered around the corner to the living room. The larger saiyajin was now laying on
the couch, still in the french maid uniform, " Poor Goku. " she said sadly, then cocked an eyebrow, " Where did he get a
french maid uniform big enough to fit him?! "
Vegeta sweatdropped, " Huh--how should _I_ know! "
" I didn't say you did, I just-- " Bulma looked back at him, " You customized a FRENCH MAID uniform for him?! "
" Along with about a dozen other to-remain-nameless Kaka-costumes. " Vegeta looked around innocently.
" How did he find that stuff so quickly? " Bulma scratched her head, " If I know you, which I do, you would probably
keep something like that locked away pretty secretly. "
" I guess he must have gotten that little tidbit of information from back when we "fused" with one another. This is
probably some kind of temporary Portara earring side-effect. " Vegeta shrugged.
" Or MAYBE it's because YOU CONKED HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR FAT FIST YOU NEANDERTHAL!!! " Bulma screamed in his
face.
" Hmmph, no reason to get "iffy". Neh! " Vegeta stuck his tongue out at her.
" *DING*DONG*! *DING*DONG*! VEGETA!!! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!! " Chi-Chi's voice roared from behind the front door.
" Oh no! Chi-Chi! " Bulma squeaked out, " Who knows what kind of things Goku's done to her this morning if he thought
he was YOU! "
" Yeah, she's probably going to come in and say it's all MY fault! " Vegeta pouted stubbornly, crossing his arms.
" It _IS_ all your fault, Vegeta! " Bulma snapped at him.
" Oh, so it is. " Vegeta said, " ...oh well! " he grinned.
" GAH! " Bulma fell down, animé style, " VEGETAAHHHH! "
" YAAAH! " Chi-Chi's foot just burst through the front door.
" That's not a good sign. " Vegeta gulped.
" DIE OUJI OF EVIL! " Chi-Chi kicked down the door and stomped into the room, followed meekly by Gohan. Goten ended
the Son parade, skipping in.
" Hi Bulma hi Uncle Veggie I'm going to play with Trunks now bye! " Goten said cheerfully as if nothing had happened
and skipped up the stairs whistling. The source of his contentment revealed in the bow-and-arrow sets he had tied around his
back.
" Heh-heh, cute kid. " Bulma laughed nervously at Chi-Chi, who, fortunately for Bulma, pushed her aside and glowered
at the ouji.
" ERRRRRR... "
" You know, you shouldn't bare your teeth like that Onna, they'll STAY that way. " Vegeta snickered.
" WHERE'S MY GOKU YOU PIG! " Chi-Chi roared.
" Pig? That's the best you could come up with? " Vegeta said, slightly disappointed.
" Oh, you're right. Oh-kay. CREEP! "
Vegeta smiled, " Better. "
" Here I am, Onna. " Goku said in a sing-song voice, draping across the couch.
Chi-Chi glanced over at him and shrieked, " AHHH! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!!! " she glared at Vegeta, grabbed him by the
collar and held him up slammed back-against-the-wall, " _YOU'RE_ PUTTING HIM UP TO THIS _AREN'T YOU_! IT'S SOME KIND OF OUJI
_MIND-CONTROL_ ISN'T IT! "
" No, demon-onna, this happened to be MY OWN idea. " the large saiyajin pointed to his head.
Chi-Chi turned towards Goku, then back to Vegeta, who was still pinned against the wall, " Oh...WELL IT'S STILL ALL
YOUR FAULT ANYWAY! YOU HIT HIM! " she shouted, then slapped him, only to feel someone grab her.
" V-sama can hit me whenever he wants, WHERE-ever he wants. " Goku said, holding her up, " Isn't that right,
V-sama? "
" Ehhhhh, hhhhhh... " Vegeta turned away, his face glowing bright red. He frustratedly tried to cause the blood to
rush back out of his face. "
The large saiyajin blinked, ::Strange?! I just scholded the Onna and clearly stated Kakarrot's "servanthood" to his
prince and he hasn't even charged at me yet. Doesn't this BOTHER him!? I'm using his body for my own selfish purposes and all
he does is stand there and try to keep my face from glowing....glowing!?:: he put Chi-Chi down and walked infront of Vegeta,
" Kakarrot, your--my face is glowing. " Goku pointed to the ouji's face.
" You....numbskull... " Vegeta gritted through his teeth, his hands on his red cheeks.
" But, if you're in my body and you've gotten my face to glow like that--then that means-- "
" Yes? " Vegeta looked at him curiously.
" YOU LOVE ME TOO! " Goku clasped his hands together.
" AHH! NO NO NO! IT'S NOT TRUE IT'S NOT! " Vegeta stood up, facing him, his face glowing even more as he denied it.
::Kakarrotto....LOVES me. I can't believe it!:: he practically squealed outloud, ::Look at his, err, my face GLOW!
I don't think I glow that brightly MYSELF:: " Oh Kakarrotto-chan I cannot wait until tommorow when we switch back to our own
bodies again! " the saiyajin said happily.
Everyone stopped and stared at him.
" What did you just call him? " Chi-Chi said, shocked.
" As long as I know the feeling is mutual for Kakarrot over there I guess there's no reason not to let the cat out of
the bag. " he nodded, " Onna, yesterday I did a lot of thinking and I wished ever-so-much that for one day I could be
Kakarrot so I could finally take revenge upon you and all you've done to him! Depribing him of his peasanthood to me, shame
on you. " he smirked.
" I did, say SOMETHING like that to Kaka-chan yesterday. " Vegeta recalled.
" So if you people just want to sit around and wait for tommorow when we switch back that's just fine with me, but
as Kakarrot-of-the-day _I_ happen to have a few more tricks planned for this body. "
" You had PLANS? " Bulma looked down at Vegeta skeptically.
" You know those human "tattoo" parlors where they draw little red hearts on your tush with a 'special friend's' name
on it? "
" No, Vegeta, I don't WANT to know... " Bulma trailed off, a vein bulging on her forehead.
" Off I go into the world! Bye Kakay! " Goku waved coyly at the other saiyajin, then opened the door only to walk
into someone, namely Gohan.
" I can't let you do this, Toussan. I can't let you leave like this. There's something wrong with you. " Gohan said,
determined.
" Wrong!? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME KAKO-SPAWN! NOW MOVE! " he snarled, trying to push Gohan out of the way.
" Alright, Dad. " Gohan said solumnly, then, to everyone's shock, stepped aside. Goku ran out of Capsule Corp, only
to be tackled by a group of people in white coats, resulting in a large cartoon fight cloud. Which, after dissipating,
revealed Goku sitting there in a straightjacket.
" KAKAY!! " Vegeta shrieked, frightened.
" We'll take him in the truck, you and the others can follow and meet us at the hospital. " the head white-coat man
said to Gohan.
" Thanks, we appriciate it, " Gohan said, shaking his hand.
Vegeta and Goku stared at them, confused, " Hospital?? "
" West City Mental Wellness Facility? Who calls it it WELLNESS anyway! " Vegeta said as he sat in the waiting room
with the others. Chi-Chi, who was sitting next to him, continued to stare at the floor. Vegeta glanced over at her, feeling
a pang of guilt and sadness. He bit his tongue and patted her on the back, " It's alright, Onna. I'm sure Kakarrotto-chan
will be fine. "
" But what if he's NOT fine? " Chi-Chi looked up at him, still bent over, " What if they can't cure him Vegeta? "
she said with tears in her eyes.
The ouji's own eyes temporarily widened, " Don't say that, Chi-Chi. " he said in a softer voice. The rest of the
group gawked as they gave each other a small, short hug.
" Tell me I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing. " Bulma gawked.
" If you're seeing it then I'm seeing it too. " Gohan said weakly, " They're calling each other by their own names
and--yes--they just hugged each other. "
" It's offical, the world is coming to an end. " Bulma gulped.
Trunks was busy teasing one of the imprisioned patients with a piece of candy.
" TRUNKS GET AWAY FROM THERE! " Bulma shouted angrily. Trunks yelped and ran back to his seat.
" And then he said it was a secret and I wasn't supposed to tell anybody. " Goten said as the doctor escorted him out
of his office.
" So your father TOLD you he was this 'friend'-- "
" Little buddy. " Goten corrected him.
" Yes, his little buddy. " the doctor scribbled something down in his notes, " He told you he was really your Uncle
Vegeta in your Toussan's body? "
" Yup! He made a wish so he could be Toussan for a day and scare Mommy. " Goten said, then smiled, " But I still like
Uncle Veggie as Uncle Veggie better than Toussan. Toussan makes a MUCH BETTER Toussan than Uncle Veggie though.
" Well, " the doctor said, getting the group's attention, " I have good news, and bad news. "
Chi-Chi and Vegeta lept at the doctor and grabbed him, " IS HE OH-KAY! " Chi-Chi begged.
Vegeta snarled, " DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY KAKAY OR I SWEAR I'LL-- "
" --Calm down! Calm down! " the doctor said, pushing them away, " Nobody's going to hurt your "Kakay". " he brushed
himself off.
" Yeah, you better not! " Vegeta formed a ball of ki in his hand, only to make it disappear a second later.
The doctor led them down the hall, " You see, the bad news is your friend seems to be suffering from a mental
disorder. From what I've gotten from interviewing each of you, Mr. Son has been a little "tense" lately because of the
friction between Mrs. Son and Mr. Oujisama here. "
" Heh, no kidding. " Gohan muttered.
" It's not really "friction". " Bulma said, " It's more like "World War III". "
" Or Spy VS Spy; " Gohan added, " without that bombs of course. "
" *sniff* I'm so sorry this happened to poor Kakarrotto-chan. " Vegeta sobbed, an arm over Chi-Chi's shoulder, " I
promise I'll never try to steal him ever again! "
" *sob!* You're going to break that promise as soon as Goku gets better again, aren't you! " Chi-Chi said, also in
the middle of the sob-fest.
" *wail!* Yes I aaaaaaam! " Vegeta bawled.
The rest of the gang sweatdropped.
They entered a white hall with multiple large doors covering the walls. Little peep-windows were near the top of the
large white steel doors.
" What is this place. " Vegeta said in a small voice. He and Chi-Chi had since stopped crying.
" This is the part of the mental ward where they keep patients. " Chi-Chi whispered back.
" I figured you WOULD know that, having the EXPERIENCE and all. " the ouji smirked, then yelped as Chi-Chi grabbed
him by the neck and started to strangle him.
" THIS *SMACK* IS *SMACK* NO *SMACK* TIME *SMACK* FOR YOU TO GET UPPITY WITH ME!!! " Chi-Chi screamed at the top of
her lungs, then froze to see the doctor staring at them peculiarly. She dropped the smirking Vegeta and laughed nervously,
" Hahahahahaha! He's such a kidder that Vegeta. Hahahaha! " she raised her fist, then purposely bopped him on the head, hard.
" OWW! " Vegeta reached for his head, then growled lowly at Chi-Chi.
" Hmm, " the doctor scribbled something down in his notes.
" You better not be writing about me you bakayaro! " Vegeta snorted at him, " Or the Onna either! " he motioned to
Chi-Chi, who gave him a slight "thank you" nod.
" Tell me, Mrs. Son. How long have you and Mr. Oujisama known each other? " the doctor asked.
" Uhh, I met him shortly after he and the nameks were teleported back to Earth. At first he just seemed like an odd,
peppy guy. " Chi-Chi said, " Like Goku--only a little more stressed out. "
" WHO ARE YOU CALLING ODD! " Vegeta snapped at her.
" You spent the first two weeks at Capsule Corp running through the hallways hooting "Ha-ha take that Freezer; die
Freezer die!". " Chi-Chi exclaimed.
" Oh-kay....maybe I _DID_ do SOMETHING like that. " Vegeta crossed his arms stubbornly.
" After that he kind of sunk into a grumpy mood; stole Dr. Brief's spaceship; flew off into space for a year; and
returned the crazed obsessive little maniac we all know today. " Chi-Chi said.
" Space is a cold place. " Vegeta nodded, " A lonely cold place, is space. I spent that whole YEAR in search of
Kakarrotto so he could teach me how to become a super saiyajin...but I never found him...until he came back home...and
laughed at my pink shirt that Bulma had forced me to wear. " he narrowed his eyes, " That was cold...just like space. "
Chi-Chi rolled her eyes at him, skeptically. Vegeta glared back.
" WHAT! " he yelled.
" Mr. Oujisama, " the doctor said, changing the subject, " How long have YOU known Mrs. Son? "
" 11 years 5 months, 2 days, 6 hours, 33 minutes and-- " Vegeta glanced at his watch, " 10--no--11 seconds. "
Chi-Chi slapped herself on the forehead.
" Mrs. Son, your children say you and Mr. Oujisama argue a lot over-- " the doctor flipped a couple pages back in his
notepad, " Whom Mr. Son "belongs" to? "
" HE THINKS HE CAN JUST TAKE GOKU AWAY BECAUSE HE'S A SAIYAJIN TOO! " Chi-Chi shouted, then pointed at Vegeta with
rage, " WELL _YOU_ DIDN'T HAVE TO CARRY HIS CHILD IN _YOUR_ BELLY FOR NINE MONTHS _DID YOU_! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH
LABOR _TWICE_ DID YOU! "
" ... " Vegeta blinked, " I can't say I have. "
" He doesn't even care about Go-chan's own feelings. All he wants from him is some slave-boy to do his own bidding!
And it's only so he can soothe his battered ego because his PLANET BLEW UP! " Chi-Chi said.
" HEY! WAIT JUST A MINUTE! First of all, it's not "slave-boy", it's servant-maid; and I had LOTS of them back on
Bejito-sei! As crown prince I should be waited on hand-and-foot. But then Freezer came and took that all away from me. I HAD
NOTHING! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH BEING SOMEBODY'S LACKEY; disposable even; WHILE KNOWING THAT _YOU_ SHOULD AND WOULD
HAVE BEEN A RULER YOURSELF HAD CIRCUMSTANCE NOT CHANGED THAT! " he paused, " And I do CARE about Kaka-chan's feelings. I
never physically HURT you, have I? " he said to Chi-Chi, who bit her lip.
" No, you haven't. "
" You see! That's the problem. " the doctor shook his head.
" You mean I should start smacking her? " Vegeta beamed.
" OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOT--*cough*--I mean, no. " the doctor sweatdropped, " Mr. Son is torn between wanting to keep
you happy and Chi-Chi happy. He obviously cares for you both; but has trouble excepting the fact that you cannot care for
each other. It is hard because two of the people he loves have such a burning rage against one another. It's, sort of like
a similar situation to a child living with parents who are in an unhappy marriage. He feels as though its his fault; like he
cannot find a way to change how you feel about each other. However, I have never seen a case quite like Mr. Son's before.
The way he reacted; by thinking he is Mr. Oujisama, is probably his way of imitating to try to please that person's will. "
" But why Vegeta? " Bulma asked, " Why didn't he wake up imitating Chi-Chi? "
The doctor turned to the group, " Which one of you was recieving the most verbal abuse by the other on the day of
Mr. Son's accident? "
" Vegeta was. " Gohan sighed.
" Well, there you go. " the doctor shrugged, " Follow me, he's in a room right down the hall. " they walked on, then
stopped infront of one of the large doors. The doctor carefully opened the little window at the top of the door, " Hello
Mr. Son? Your friends are here to see you. "
Chi-Chi and Gohan peeked inside the window to see Goku sitting in the corner of the padded room, wearing a
straightjacket, " Oh Go-chan. " she said sadly, " I can't bear to see him like that. " the large saiyajin looked up at them.
" Where's Kakarrotto? " Goku said in a small voice, beggingly.
" YOU'RE Kakarrotto, Toussan. " Gohan said quietly.
" No, you don't understand! " his voice wavered a bit, " I'm not supposed to be in here! I don't belong in here!
Kakarrot believes me! He'll agree with me! "
Vegeta, who was too short to reach the window, floated upward and pushed Gohan's head aside to see in.
" KAKARROTTO! " Goku grinned, then lept to his feet and ran over to the door, " Kakarrot tell them! Tell them I'm not
crazy! We just switched bodies for a day! Like in that movie! Tell them I'm really your little buddy, please! They'll listen
to you. EVERYBODY listens to you Kakarrotto! "
" ... " Vegeta just stared at him blankly.
" Kaka-CHAN! PLEASE! " he sobbed, banging his head against the door, " Please tell them Kakay, please tell them! "
" We're going to need to keep Mr. Son for observation for a couple weeks. " the doctor adjusted his glasses, " It
could take up to two months before he becomes completely rehabilitated again. "
" Two months? IN HERE! " Goku yelped, " I CAN'T STAY IN HERE TWO MONTHS! I HAVE TRAINING TO DO! I HAVE TO REACH
LEVEL 3 SO I CAN DEFEAT KAKARROT! "
Vegeta cocked his head at the large saiyajin.
" OOH! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU SUDDENLY SHUT UP KAKARRROT! IS IT BECAUSE _I'M_ HERE! " Goku shouted at Vegeta, " As soon
as I enter the conversation you decide to play it stupid and just float there in pity! Well I wish I knew why you aren't
helping me because after tonight when we switch back it's going to be YOU in this padded room instead of ME! "
" He does an uncanny impression of Vegeta. " Bulma muttered, shocked.
" IT'S NOT AN IMPRESSION ONNA!! I _AM_ VEGETA!! AND _HE_ IS KAKARROTTO! I had DINNER with you last night! " Goku
wailed, " Remember! I felt so darned bad about K.O'ing him I didn't eat! You and Mirai looked at me like I was CRAZY! And--
--and Trunks! He's the one who blabbed to you about the fight; and you made me stay home when you went over to check on
Kakarrot and that witch! " he said, exasperated, " Isn't that enough proof for you? "
Bulma stared at him for a long time, then spoke up, " I'm sorry we have to do this to you Goku. But we have no choice
...and it's for the best. "
" ...no. No onna, not you too! " Goku cried.
" Don't worry, sweetheart, we'll come to check on you now and then; until the two months are up. " Chi-Chi said,
patting him on the cheek.
" But--but--no...please NO! " Goku said pitifully as he watched them all leave back into the other room, following
the doctor. Vegeta stood there infront of him for a moment. The two staring at each other. Goku hung his head and sighed,
" Vegeta? "
The small saiyajin broke into a wide grin. Goku bolted to attention.
" KAKARROT!! " he gawked.
" HEE. " Vegeta giggled. Goku's jaw dropped to the floor, " Silly Veggie! I am good at being little. "
" Kakarrotto, Kakarrotto you go back there and tell them who you are RIGHT NOW! " the ouji threatened, his voice
wavering.
Goku floated backwards a little bit, still grinning at his body in the cell, " See you in two months! " he waved,
" Byebye Veggie I love you! "
Vegeta watched the small figure float to the ground, then happily skip down the hall, laughing joyfully until he got
towards the door to the doctors room and began to walk in a more Vegeta-like manner.
" KAKARROT! YOU COME BACK HERE!! KAKARROT?....KA-KA-RRRRROOOOOOOOOT!!!! "
*****************************************************************************************************************************
5:58 PM 5/28/2002
THE END
Chuquita: TA-DA!
Goku: (gasp) So it really WAS Veggie AFTER ALL! He DID get his wish!
Chuquita: Or maybe he didn't. Maybe that was just Vedge-head playing with your mind at the end there.
Goku: Really?
Chuquita: (shrugs) Who knows! I'm not even sure myself who was who. (a-HEM) (uses her twilight-zone voice) Vegeta Oujisama;
a man who has played a game against his own mind--and lost. They say the limits of the human mind are endless, and Vegeta has
just proven them right, on the outskirts of The Twilight Zone.
Goku: Doodeedoodeedoodeedoodee--DOOOO!!
Chuquita: (grins) Oh-kay! We're done.
Goku: So what now?
Chuquita: Veggie hasn't come back yet.
Piccolo: (coughs loudly)
Chuquita: If I didn't know better I'd say you wanted something.
Piccolo: Could be.
Chuquita: ...well?
Piccolo: (turns to Son) How would you feel about being the first female saiyajin in the Corner?
Goku: (uneasy) Well...it would just be for ONE story, RIGHT? (glances at Chu)
Chuquita: Yeah, pretty much. But that's your decision.
Piccolo: (grins) Come on! Help me screw the ouji's mind up some more!
Chuquita: Yes! Let's disturb Veggie!
Piccolo: But surprise him first.
Chuquita: Of course.
Goku: Uhhh, (deep in thought) (happily) WHAT THE HEY!
Chuquita: Alright Son-kun, here goes! [zaps him]
Girl Goku: Oooooh, lookit me! I'M PRETTY! (giggles) Veggie's gonna be SOOOOOOO jealous.
Chuquita: Or frightened.
Piccolo: Or turned on.
[all stare at him]
Chuquita: (to Pic) (flatly) You plan on making this as painful as possible for Vegeta, don't you Piccolo?
Piccolo: Can I help it if I enjoy seeing him tortured.
Chuquita: Umm, I don't torture, I just punish when seen fit.
Girl Goku: (now in one of the sundresses Veggie brought in earlier) Don't I look Beauuuutiful?
Chuquita: (points to Son) Now Goku, he's torturous!
Piccolo: I see what you mean...he does it UNKNOWINGLY of course...but still.
Chuquita: We need to come up with a new name for you.
Girl Goku: We do?
Chuquita: Yes, after all, we gave Veggie one back in Meadow Muffins.
Piccolo: (recalls) Heeheehee, "Veggilina".
Girl Goku: Piccolo wasn't even there at the time.
Chuquita: (shrugs) Go figure. (thinks) How about, Kayka!
Piccolo: Kayka?
Chuquita: Yeah, it's Kakay...in pig latin.
Kayka: IIIIII LIKE IT! (big grin)
Piccolo: (snickers) Boy this is going to be fun when Vegeta comes back.
Chuquita: Hai. Last time I saw him he was running away in fright.
Piccolo: (to Son) Kayka, when Vegeta finally comes back, DON'T tell him who you are right away.
Kayka: Why?
Piccolo: You know, let him guess. It's a game.
Kayka: (smiles) A game? I LIKE GAMES PICCY!
Piccolo: Yes, I know you do. (laughs maniacally) This is going to be more fun then Tuesday Happy Hour at Dende's. Haha! I
love it. [walks offstage]
Chuquita: (looks at her watch) Well everybody, it's getting to be that time again.
Kayka: Time to sing the fun song?
Chuquita: No.
Kayka: Time to countdown Letterman's top 10 stupid pet tricks?
Chuquita: No.
Kayka: Time to put our arms behind our backs and do the chicken dance?
Chuquita: NO! (to audiance) It's time to give a little sneak preview of the upcoming fics!
[confetti floats down from the ceiling]
Kayka: WHEE!
Chuquita: (to audiance) Anyone remember that list of 8 story ideas I wrote about at the end of "Little Buddy"? Well, I'd like
to announce that I've finished 4 of them! (that is if I don't go back to "You Gonna Eat That" for another parodied episode)
And the 4 remaining fics are:
4) dna mix-up fic. Bulma does some tests on the boys and Veggie mistakes Goku's dna sample for his. The shocked prince now
thinks he too is a peasant. Vegeta then goes to Son, begging him to teach the ouji how to be a thrid-class saiyajin like
himself. Now the ouji must undergo a series of 'to him' humiliating tasks. Will he survive? What happens when he finds out
about the mix-up?
8) Kako-germs. Based on a comic strip I wrote. Vegeta actually proves Goku's so called kako-germs really exist. When the
little creatures realize who's watching them they spring for a new home on the saiyajin prince. How will Veggie get rid of
them? What happens when he decides to NOT get rid of them? Will Goku be germ-less forever?
3) Piccy fic. Piccolo uses a stupifying potion to turn the entire planet into mindless minions so he can finally succeed in
his long-unfufilled quest for world domination? But what happens when the plot backfires and the people become too stupid to
perform simple tasks? How will Piccolo undo what he's done?
And
1) Goku runs off to join the circus; literally. Now Veggie, Mirai, and Bura have to stop him before he makes the biggest
mistake of his life.
Chuquita: Not necessarily to be written in that order. And I also have another brand-new fic idea about Vejitto!
Kayka: Me and Veggie's fusion baby?
Chuquita: Yeah, the idea is this. Remember how everyone Buu killed gets wished back to life. Well I have a theory that
Vejitto is his own seperate person because the portara earrings created him. In the show yourself you even say, quote;
"{Goku:} Right. Then a super strong warrior will be born from the mixture of our strengths!" If he's born he's gotta exist.
Kayka: I follow you so far.
Chuquita: I have it starting out with King Yemma telling Dende (this is after they defeat Buu) that he can't just keep
Vejitto here because he's included with the rest of the people on Earth. So Dende unwillingly takes Vejitto back to Kami's
Tower and Vejitto sets out on a journey to find his unsuspecting parents.
Kayka: Heehee, heeheehee.
Chuquita: But first I'm going to take a mini-break and get this other story that's been sitting in my head for the past
several days out and onto notepad. It shouldn't take more than 2-3 days.
Kayka: (cocks an eyebrow) Then why is it called a "break"?
Chuquita: Because it's a Tenchi fic (my second) and you won't find it here because this is the Dragonball Z section. It'll
be a short one-part mini-fic called "KABOOM!"
Kayka: Not a very happy title.
Chuquita: The storyline's a combo of a Spongebob Squarepants episode and an actual Tenchi comic I have. Washu creates a
pie-bomb; Mihoshi accidentally eats it; and the gang tries to get rid of the bomb and keep her from blowing up and taking
them all with her at the same time.
Kayka: (rubs tummy) I love PIE!
Chuquita: (happily) Who doesn't! Cya next time everybody!
Kayka: BYE!
Chuquita: OH! BTW, this Corner WON'T continue into the Tenchi mini-fic but continue after when I come back to write the next
DBZ story which will probably be #4 on my list up there. Veggie's gonna be with me in the Corner for the mini-fic along with
our special guest Ayeka.
Kayka: (sniffles) But what about me?
Chuquita: I can't have you there like--the way you are right now. Besides, how are you supposed to scare Veggie if he's there
already!
Kayka: Good point.
Chuquita: Now we say goodbye.
Kayka: BYE EVERYONE! WE WILL SEE YOU SOON!
Chuquita: Bye!
Kayka: VEGGIE LOVES ME!
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) I'm sure he does....