A/n: Betaed by the lovely MistyMi! Thank you for your hardwork my darling! 333

Assuming We…

Chapter Twenty Two

Sasuke's POV

Even if we had to wake up at such an ungodly hour, I still felt oddly refreshed the next day, even if a bit dazed. I couldn't remember having fallen asleep in the first place since the last bits of the night had been a blur of clouded lust, but it had been a long day so apparently I had dropped dead as soon as Itachi had offered me an opening to sleep.

Nevertheless, as soon as I woke up I was flooded by a wave of embarrassment because I couldn't process that all the things I had done with him had been real. It had only been one day and already we'd crossed barriers that never in a million years would I have dreamt that I'd be able to cross. Something like this wasn't even something I had allowed myself to consider twenty four hours previously.

My love for Itachi had been bothering me for such a long time, my own ego crushed, frail because of how terrible I felt about myself because of such feelings, and yet, whenever I so much as felt his hands on me nothing else seemed to matter.

It was something I couldn't understand. Was 'love' such a simple, frivolous thing that was reckless in its indulging contentment? Was this enough that all it took was for two people to fall into each other to make everything else disappear and seem meaningless?

In my lack of experience, it kind of shocked me that things like 'love' and 'desire' were so powerfully blinding that made people's minds black out and not think rationally about anything else - like an all-consuming impulsiveness.

Despite myself, I had to wonder if, all along, this was what I had truly wanted from the very start, even when I was desperately trying to run away - from Itachi and myself. I certainly hadn't ever expected us to be so sexually compatible.

It's difficult to turn your back on someone who fits you like a perfectly tailored suit - someone that, no matter how you look at it and how many cons there are stopping you from being together, sets you on fire and exposes parts of you that you thought you'd wanted to keep hidden.

I knew this was just the beginning, and that things were far from being simple or easy between us; but when we were like that - lost in each other - it sure felt like it.

I had never been a particularly shy person, but my own shamelessness had taken me by surprise. I hadn't expected for it to be so easy to fall into a sexual atmosphere with my brother at all, and yet, I had been easily carried by my own whims and been aggressively demanding of him. There was a hunger in me I had not known until then, and the fact that he complied so easily made it all the more enrapturing. I felt so over the moon that I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever grow tired of it.

For as much as I had tried to escape, I realized that there wasn't a single thing about me that I felt like I wanted to hide from Itachi because it was easy to want to expose myself to him. Maybe this was just me eagerly wanting to finally tear down the barriers between us so we could go back to being brutally empathetic towards each other.

After all, if there was one person who knew everything about me and probably knew me better than I knew myself, that was him.

Itachi woke up not in a bad mood per se, but he was quiet, and a little out of sorts since the alarm clock had ringed fifteen minutes after the supposed set time.

In a bit of a hurry, we showered (separately, still) and got ready to leave. I was unsure of how long we'd be away from Tokyo, so I took my suitcase with me just in case considering I hadn't even unpacked yet. We were supposed to be in Kyoto for two days, and on the third (on Christmas eve) we would be returning to Tokyo after lunch.

I had put on normal daily clothes but Itachi had, surprisingly, put on a pair of warm black sweatpants and a red hoodie with some sneakers, tying his hair up messily in a bob that he covered with a cap. I have to admit that, in all 17 years of my existence, I had never seen him dressed in such a way. It's not as if my brother always dressed impeccably - he did enjoy being carelessly casual sometimes - but that was not usual for him, at least to my knowledge.

I couldn't help but snort because, even if he could pull off the look, it was still a funny sight for someone like him.

"I have some training to do as soon as we reach Kyoto," Itachi had explained, as I chuckled. "It's easier if I'm already in proper attire than if I have to go and change. It's going to be a fast paced day, Sasuke."

Either way, I suppose it was harder for him to be recognized in the streets wearing that.

Kisame picked us up to drive us to the airport, and I was a bit surprised when he told me that he wouldn't be tagging along since he was my brother's manager.

At some point before this, Itachi had worked for a talent company - the one where he had started doing his first couple of commercials, photoshoot sessions and small jobs in television. That same company had been the one that got him the role in that cheesy soap opera that made people notice him and that allowed him to make some serious money.

However, after this, with Itachi being showered with new projects, he decided to leave the company and try to fend for himself. Kisame, who had been managing his career projects in said company at the time, had gladly followed him to be his right hand man and help him organize his busy schedule and the ridiculous demands coming from all sides.

I wasn't very knowledgeable of how things worked in the industry my brother was in. Thanks to him I had been able to go to a few plays he'd been in, photoshoots, events and parties even before becoming a model myself. However, his world as a career, albeit fascinating, was still a mystery to me.

Since Itachi always managed to clear his schedule when we were together, I honestly had no idea what twenty four hours of his daily life looked like. We talked a lot over the phone and texted each other, but I always felt like Itachi kept a lot of things from me, maybe to prevent me from being burdened with guilt for bothering him, or maybe he simply didn't want me getting disenchanted by it all since he knew I wanted to have a go at it at some point.

At the airport I realized that Itachi's mood was caused by exhaustion since we ended up having to sit down and wait for the call to embark the plane and he basically leaned his head on my shoulder and promptly fell asleep. Just like that, as if someone had pressed an 'off' button on him.

When I woke him up he composed himself as if he hadn't fallen asleep at all.

However, after we got on the plane, he put his seatbelt on, leaned against me again with his arms crossed over his chest, and was instantly asleep, once more without uttering a single word.

I watched him for a while, wondering if he'd been that tired already or if he hadn't slept well the previous night. I knew he'd taken the day to welcome me back to Tokyo, but I didn't know how tired he'd been beforehand, or how many days he'd been working already. Spending the day with me was sure to have been emotionally draining, and all the action during nighttime had certainly taken its toll. If I had been tired, I could only imagine how he'd felt.

I wondered if Itachi had been so eager during intimacy because he had a lot of stamina that not even I was used to. I mean, if he'd been tired, how would he perform if he'd been in full shape? The thought alone made blood rush up to my cheeks.

Naruto had outstanding stamina, too, but it's not as if he and I had an easy time being in a situation where we could just freely go at it several times over, so I couldn't really tell how far we could go until there was nothing left.

Being with Itachi had been new and surprising, but also overwhelmingly good. I had considered myself to be a sexually active person, with a strong libido and considerably knowledgeable, but quite frankly, I had never been provoked so much to the point where I found myself unable to go soft until exhaustion took over. With Itachi I realized how inexperienced I was, and how much I still had to learn, and we really hadn't done much.

It was difficult not to think about it, though. I wondered where Itachi had learned certain things and how many lovers he'd already had. Did he fuck mostly men, or women? Did he behave similarly or was he more ruthless with men?

Thinking about it made my chest burn in annoyance, yet, I couldn't help it. Even if I knew that this person was my brother I suddenly felt like I was currently on my way to meeting someone completely different. I wondered if he thought the same thing about me.

Had I surprised him, too, somehow? Had he been shocked by me - by my shameless straightforwardness?

In a way, I suppose this was a good thing. Maybe because there were so many sides of each other we didn't know, it became easier to forget the blood that connected us.

Still, Itachi was my brother and I loved him as such. If anyone asked me if I would prefer that we weren't blood related, I don't think I'd ever consider it as an option just so we could be lovers without obstacles. I wouldn't give up his connection to me in exchange for anything.

From a rational point of view, this should be enough to make me want to protect our connection as brothers, right? The fact alone that we were both men was already socially burdening enough, why add incest to it to make it even worse? Why was I even accepting this, letting myself go and burying myself deeper in something that had no future?

And to think that I had been rejecting these feelings for months.

Even if I had no idea what to do, a part of me hoped that, sooner or later, things would become clearer and we could find a way for it to work, somehow. In my young mind, I even dared to hope that Naruto could fit into the equation, too, but I knew it was too much to ask; too much selfishness and greed on my part.

Itachi was so out of it he didn't even flinch as the plane took flight.

Sighing, I pressed a small kiss to the top of his head before looking out the window, at the still dark sky outside.

Itachi slept soundly throughout the hour and a half long trip, unperturbed by turbulence, other people's chattering or even my own occasional shifts of position because he was heavy, and I wasn't exactly comfortable. He didn't even wake up as we landed. I had to give him a slight push to make him open his eyes.

As easily as before, he composed himself and we disembarked. By then he seemed to be in a much better mood, something was relieved about. It wouldn't be a good day otherwise.

000

"Have you considered your sexuality at this point?"

Itachi's question came as a surprise to me and I looked away from the window of the car we had rented and at him, who kept his eyes trained on the road, both hands on the steering wheel as he drove us to Kyoto. It was still very early in the morning, but the sun had already risen over the horizon, even if the world seemed so blissfully quiet.

The day was cold, but it was sunny, and I had silently been enjoying the landscape.

"Only enough to know I'm not straight," I replied, watching my brother's profile curiously. "I haven't given it much thought, to be honest."

For a few seconds, my brother seemed thoughtful. "It's not like you need to label yourself, but at some point you need to understand what you're going for," he said, casually. "You dated girls all your life; now you're involved with two men, and that was easy for you to accomplish. You understand what I'm saying?"

"I'm not sure it's a matter of preference but more about the situations that led me to be with both genders?" I muttered, with a small shrug of my shoulders. "I didn't dislike being with girls, but… I don't know; maybe because I was never in love with my girlfriends those relationships feel empty when I think about them, so, it's different now."

"Different how?" Itachi asked, sounding genuinely interested. "Different because now you're with men? Or are there differences between Naruto and me when compared to the girls?"

Even if his words were simple, I instantly knew that to be a tricky question, full of traps. Itachi was trying to have me compare him and Naruto so he could understand what weighed more in my eyes - he didn't care about my feelings for those girls at all.

I couldn't possibly do that, so I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

I tried not to sigh. I wondered when, or if, Itachi would ever stop trying to evaluate my feelings for him and compare them to the ones I had for Naruto. From a logical point of view, I understood what was so confusing and upsetting to him about this, but at the same time, our situation was already delicate enough and I wished that he could value the strength of what we had and my feelings for him alone. Regardless of how easy it had been for us to be sexually intimate, it's not like I'd simply thrown myself at him without previous consideration - after all, I'd been holding back for a whole year.

"I don't think I ever told you this, but for a long time I didn't care about relationships, girls or dating," I replied instead, avoiding his question on purpose, slumping more in my seat and crossing my arms over my chest. I looked onwards at the road before us. "I only started dating because mom kept making jokes about when I'd get a girlfriend. I had many girls confessing to me, so I thought, why not. Let's date. Let's have sex and see what's so great about it that everyone wants to do it."

I snorted bitterly. "Sex is fun, but dating was really boring, Itachi," I confessed, tilting my head back. "I'm not usually the kind of guy who has sex without being committed. Girls are very demanding, and I don't particularly like that. I'm not the image of someone's 'type'. I'm not supposed to act as an idealized prince charming."

"It can't be helped if you're popular," Itachi commented, soothingly. "Also, you're not easy to get to know, so it's normal that they'd create their own conceptual image of you."

I chanced a glance at him, whose eyes were still fixed on the road. I couldn't help the fleeting thought that, even with that fucking messy bun at the top of his head with hair sticking out in every direction he looked frustratingly handsome.

"Dating people to forget about how you feel for someone else sounds stupid, I know," I continued. "That's what I did when I understood my feelings for you. Sex isn't something I ever found complicated, and I was desperate. I thought, as long as I can keep my mind occupied I'll be fine."

"Did Naruto keep your mind occupied?" Itachi asked, his tone even. "Is that how you managed to fall in love with him?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Don't ask tricky questions," I retorted.

"I'm not," he denied, seriously. He paused before asking, "Did you question your sexuality when you realized how you felt for me?"

"No, because it didn't have a sexual connotation to it yet, it was just… a lot of emotion," I explained, somehow feeling my cheeks heating up as I looked away from him and to my lap. "I found you alluring but didn't allow myself to think about you in a sexual way. It never crossed my mind to jerk off to thoughts of you, for example; that was completely off limits. I didn't think that it was a sexuality thing, that it was because you were a man; I just thought I felt that way because it was you. I don't know how to explain it."

"No, I understand," Itachi assured me, softly.

"Well, for sure I had unconsciously accepted something inside my mind because it was easy being physical with Naruto from the start," I proceeded. "So, I don't think it's a matter of whether I prefer girls or boys, it's just that, so far, I have better memories with… well, guys."

"Naruto and I, "Itachi concluded, sounding a little patronizing.

"Yeah."

"And you don't feel attraction for others of the same gender?"

"I don't exactly look at people like that," I explained with a huff because, honestly, stupid as it may seem, I hadn't really considered these things. "I don't look at girls or guys and think 'oh, I'd fuck them'. I can see if a person is attractive, but I don't automatically waste mental time on them."

"You're not usually attracted to people in general, are you?"

"Not at all," I admitted. "I don't think it's difficult to have sex, though. It's not hard getting an erection. I just don't really feel attraction very easily."

"Maybe you're just a regular bisexual, bordering a little on demisexual," Itachi suggested.

I licked my lips, looking at him. "My sexuality is not really something that I lose my sleep over, Itachi."

"You didn't answer my question, though." Itachi's hands lightly caressed the steering wheel but he didn't look at me. "About whether Naruto and I are different."

I couldn't help but huff again. Itachi knew the answer to this very well. He knew me well, knew my train of thought, knew I never said things light-heartedly, so why was he trying to trap me?

Then again, maybe it was exactly because I had always been honest that it made him feel uneasy, but it's not like I could be any different. If I lied to him and simply said what he wanted to hear, he would see right through me, and if I simply did what he wanted me to do, he would know. It was a double edged sword, and I didn't really know how to handle it yet.

"Of course, you're different," I chose to say, softly. "But you can't ask me to compare you two. You're my brother; he's my friend. I was in love with you from the start, while I had a developing relationship with him. I love you both in different ways and for different reasons."

"I see." Without looking at me, Itachi casually scratched the side of his nose with a finger, his lack of further elaboration letting me know I had somehow said something that upset him.

I frowned at him. "Itachi," I said, in a reproachful tone. "Don't think about unnecessary stuff."

"I'm not," he denied, once more casually. "I'm simply not very knowledgeable of the concept of romantic love, it seems. There are things I'm still trying to understand because, right now, I can't seem to wrap my mind around them."

"You can't seem to wrap your mind around a lot of things," I couldn't help but point out seriously and, truth be told, a little pissed. "But I guess I should expect it since you haven't been struggling with this the same way I did."

Itachi threw a silent glance at me, his expression slightly surprised but with a hint of annoyance.

"I already told you we were on the same boat," he said, reproachfully. "We simply dealt with it differently."

I pressed my lips together and didn't reply. After a few seconds of silence, he allowed himself to heave a small sigh.

"It's not as if I'm doubting your sincerity, but I do think that the both of us are clouded by this intensity of the novelty of love," Itachi explained, slowly. "Spending time together, being intimate, and engaging in sexual activities. It's all very overwhelming and I think it's easy to bask in it carelessly. Regardless, the bigger picture is considerably vaster than just this, Sasuke."

I bit down on my lower lip, contemplating him. "Because we're brothers, both men, and I'm underage?" I poked, a little bitterly. "We've gone through this already."

"Yes," my brother confirmed, his voice having become oddly neutral. "No matter how much you idealize it, you and I will never be able to have anything like what you have with Naruto, no matter how nice we have it behind closed doors."

I inhaled sharply. "I keep wondering if your issue is us as we are at this point or Naruto," I muttered, shaking my head from side to side.

"Yes," he repeated.

I groaned feeling suddenly tired. Pressing my lips tightly together again, I looked out the window. "Maybe it would be easier if I lied to you," I muttered. "If I told you I'm one hundred percent sure you're all I want, that I'm willing to go through hell for us, and that I don't have feelings for someone else."

"I'm sure fifty percent of that would be true," Itachi said, carefully. "I don't want you to lie to me and, as I said, I don't doubt your feelings, as I hope you don't doubt mine. I just doubt both of our abilities to handle this situation properly. It's too much of a mess as it is already, and it becomes even worse when you happen to have feelings for someone else."

"You have feelings for your lover, too, don't you?" I asked, looking back at him.

"That's why I'm no better." Itachi chewed on his upper lip, thoughtfully. "Although, I'm not in a relationship. Still, Sasuke, regardless of how the both of us deal with our respective lovers, the two of us still can't think that 'love' is enough to make everything alright."

I couldn't find the strength to debate on this anymore. I could hear the conflicting thoughts going through Itachi's mind and I knew there was nothing I could do or say to change this train of thought.

After the amazing night we'd had just a few hours previously, this made me feel unavoidably sad.

Itachi was right when he said that we didn't know what to do and that our feelings weren't enough - but they should, at least, be the foundation of hope for something more, something better; maybe even something executable.

It hurt that a part of me already knew how this was going to go based on Itachi's fucking hypocritical morality (that he only used when sex wasn't involved mind you). Still, there was nothing I could really do but let him have his way and see our reality (or the possibility for it) for himself.

"How did you find out you were pansexual?" I asked, immediately changing the subject because I knew we'd probably end up fighting if we continued talking about us.

Itachi didn't seem fazed. "A person's sexuality doesn't have to be a romantic or dramatic concept," he said easily (maybe glad to talk about something else too), in his polite conversational tone now. "I learned to separate sex from emotions very easily when I first got to Tokyo, and in the world of arts, we meet many different kinds of people. I suppose I came to understand that there is beauty in the unusual, and perfection in things that are deemed imperfect by society's standards. When you are only capable of seeing the beauty and forget about details, I guess that makes one pansexual. It's all about the person rather than their sexuality or gender."

"Right," I muttered, looking down at my hands a little thoughtfully. "I don't think I am that mindful of others to see that extent of beauty. Although, I can understand the part about liking someone exclusively for who they are rather than what they are."

Wasn't that what was happening to us, in a sense?

"That's why separating one sexuality type from another is important," Itachi said, maybe purposefully not elaborating. "What is complicated to you feels easy for me. But then again, life teaches you many things."

"You lost your virginity in Tokyo, right?" I questioned, looking back at him.

"Yes; I was eighteen," he replied, taking a second to exchange glances with me rather inquisitively. "Even if I did have several flings after that, my first time didn't happen as spontaneously as it did with you, though. Even if the timing was unexpected, I had premeditated it, and it happened how it should, with someone who made sense to me."

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "You don't need to be harsh; you already knew I wasn't attached to the person I first had sex with,"

"It still bothers me, nonetheless." Itachi made a smacking sound with his lips, slightly annoyed. "How old were you? Fifteen?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, with a small smirk, remembering how pissed he had been over the phone two years previously when I had first told him. "You know it wasn't that interesting or memorable, though. I do wish I had planned it differently, and with someone who had been more relevant. At least you got the upper hand on that one, huh?"

A small smirk appeared on Itachi's lips. "You can ask if you want to know who it was."

I blinked at him, considering his words for a few seconds. "Do I know them?" I ended up asking.

"Yes," my brother replied, unhesitant.

Despite myself, I swallowed hard. While I wanted to know who Itachi's lover was, something inside of me rebelled against the possibility of knowledge of such a fact, least of all if it was someone I knew. Before, I had thought that I'd be fine, but suddenly I felt…

"Never mind," I muttered, looking out the window again.

"Are you scared that you might get jealous if I tell you who it is?" Itachi asked, thankfully without teasing.

"Jealousy would be a hypocritical feeling considering my situation with Naruto," I said, dryly. He merely scoffed but didn't comment further.

Itachi was right - I was definitely scared. But what was I scared of?

I knew Itachi probably didn't need to find someone terribly interesting if he just wanted a casual lay, but for him to have a steady lover - even if not in a an actual romantic relationship - that person would have to be someone who lived up to his high standards at least to a certain point, and that was already saying enough. I could definitely think of a few people that would be suitable for the role, and yet a specific one kept popping to mind unavoidably but I didn't allow myself to be tormented by it - I didn't want to consider it at all.

We were quiet for a few minutes that were both tense and comfortable. This kind of atmosphere had been familiar for over a year now, but the things causing it seemed to have changed. Somehow, the way it felt hadn't.

I couldn't exactly understand how the present day contrasted with the day before, and yet, in a way, it felt sort of relieving that the air wasn't charged with a conflicting sexual energy. It was definitely a bit easier to breathe like this.

After a while, I felt the weight of a hand falling over the back of mine and I looked down to see slender fingers squeezing mine, almost reassuringly, over my thigh.

"You think too much about unnecessary things, and too little about what's really important," Itachi said, carefully. "Regardless, if I ever had to choose between you and everyone else I love, I would always choose you alone, without a second thought. No matter what happens between us, I hope you can always go back to this conversation and remember this."

With one final sigh, I turned my hand so my palm was facing upwards so I could intertwine our fingers together. "I will."

However, even if I said this, I hoped that I never had to revisit that line for unfortunate reasons.

For the moment, I was glad just being given the chance to live in Itachi's world and having from him what no-one else had.

Naruto's POV

I stood in front of the show window of the jewelry store on that cold morning, thoughtfully browsing through the items on display as I waited for Kiba. Christmas was close and I still had a bunch of people I needed to find gifts for. It was a pain in the ass. Vaguely, I considered that I should've asked for Sasuke's help before he'd gone to Tokyo. I wondered if Sasuke would get all the gifts from there, which made sense, plus, he was with Itachi - the guy would certainly help him pick the best and most awesome gifts being such a perfectionist.

I sighed. Speaking of Sasuke, I had no idea what to get him. It wasn't as if he was a person difficult to please - he would politely appreciate whatever I got for him, I was sure - but I wanted to get him something more than 'okay', I just didn't know what.

My eyes landed on the rings' section and I couldn't help but be drawn to the shiny steel ones. I could already see Sasuke smirking and saying, 'cliché much?'. Thinking about it made me miss him.

A part of me wanted to get something like that for us, yet I couldn't help but ask myself if something like this was even okay to consider. Even if Sasuke and I had told our friends about our relationship, and even if it felt like things were becoming considerably more serious, there were still details that were blurred.

Sasuke was going to talk to the person he liked - who, apparently, liked him back - and they were going to solve things between them. I had no idea where that would lead them, but I convinced myself that I was ready for every possible outcome.

Only I didn't know if that was true.

Really, I had been so naïve and overconfident, thinking that I had perfect control over everything and that I could take whatever came at me; only I hadn't expected to actually fall in love back then. While I had been serious about giving this relationship a try, a part of me had thought that I was just in it for a good time and that it'd be okay if Sasuke dumped me at some point.

Well, it wasn't okay because I liked him and was more than happy with what we had. I didn't like it at all that he was out there with someone else, but I couldn't just tell him not to pursue something he thought would be impossible until recently.

It bothered me that I didn't know the full story behind that. I knew I couldn't demand that Sasuke tell me every little detail, but not knowing was frustrating. I kept wondering if it would be easier to accept, to cope with if I had something clearer to justify this situation.

I knew Sasuke liked me back. I also knew Sasuke cherished our relationship dearly but, in the end, was it enough for him to want to be with me? To choose me over some guy that lived a few hours away from him?

I knew Sasuke wanted to go to Tokyo after graduating. He'd apply to college there and start a whole new period of his life - with or without me. This was also something we hadn't exactly talked about yet, but we would need to figure it out at some point. Maybe Sasuke would start a relationship with that person after graduating. I didn't want to think about it, but it was unavoidable. Maybe things would change as soon as Sasuke returned.

Sasuke wasn't someone I wanted to lose as a lover; I had come to care for him too much.

But looking at those rings I so wanted to get, I wondered if I was allowed to hope that he would want to be with me in the end and that we could at some point, soon, come out to everyone. I knew it would be difficult for him, but I wanted to be the one there to help when it happened.

"Naruto?"

The familiar - yet deeper than I recalled - voice made me jolt slightly as I straightened my back and looked to the side to see a familiar face walking towards me on the sidewalk.

My eyes widened slightly. "Neji?" I said disbelievingly, turning as said person approached me with a small smile of perfect teeth showing.

"I knew it was you the moment I spotted you," Neji said politely, coming to a halt in front of me. "It's been a while."

"Yeah," I mumbled, a little astonished. I gave him a once over, feeling a bit overwhelmed at seeing him there so unexpectedly. It had been two whole years since we'd last seen each other and he looked older, considerably more mature with his long black coat, polished shoes and long sleek, brown hair loose over his shoulders. His intelligent grey eyes were still of an abnormally clear hue, almost white, and I couldn't deny that the snob bastard looked more handsome than ever.

For some reason, I couldn't repress the onslaught of memories that assaulted me in a flash.

"You look well," Neji commented, conversationally.

"You look good, too," I muttered, swallowing the sudden dryness in my throat down. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to spend Christmas with my family," Neji said easily, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his coat. "Everyone will be gathering at my mother's place, so I thought it would be suitable if I attended."

God, even his cocky speech pattern hadn't changed.

Clearing my throat, I looked away from him. "Okay."

I felt him watching me thoughtfully for a few seconds. "You've grown," he noticed. "You're finally almost as tall as me."

I couldn't find the will to say anything. I couldn't tell if he was trying to be funny or ease the tension in the air, but I honestly didn't know how to react. It's not like I was angry at him or anything, I just genuinely didn't know how we were supposed to interact at this point, which was weird since his family had been acquainted to mine for a long time and we used to be close. Very close.

Still, I wonder how much I had known him back then.

"Browsing for Christmas gifts?" Neji asked easily, clearly intent on making conversation.

"No, I'm just waiting for Kiba," I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and still not looking at him. "How's college?"

"Good." He paused, again, taking a while before speaking. "Are you still angry? About before?"

I felt my heart clench at his words, and this forced me to look into his eyes. "I'm not angry at you," I said, with a shrug of my shoulders. "We broke up on good terms, so we're okay."

He frowned. "You rarely reply to my texts," Neji said, but not reproachfully so, and his tone, kind and careful wasn't something all that familiar to me. "I thought we were supposed to be friends."

I bit down on my lower lip. "It's hard being friends with you," I admitted, maybe a little too crudely. "I just didn't think we should interfere with each other's lives anymore."

To my surprise, Neji actually looked regretful. "I know I wasn't the most pleasant person back then, and I never really got the chance to properly apologize," he said, apologetically. "But I am sorry that I ever made you feel uncomfortable, Naruto. We were good friends and I ruined that."

I sighed, feeling my muscles rigid with tension. I have to admit that this surprised me a little because, in the past, he would never apologize for anything.

"I liked you, so you weren't unpleasant, you just…" I huffed, and closed my mouth before it ran off, shaking my head from side to side. "It doesn't matter anymore, Neji. There's really nothing to forgive."

Neji and I exchanged a long look in silence, both trying to read each other and failing miserably. He had always been a strangely inscrutable person, and even now, it was difficult to see what was on his mind, and considering I had grown up, I now knew how to shield myself from his own evaluating gaze. Looking into his eyes like this, I felt annoyed at myself that I could still find him breathtakingly beautiful, the way his hair billowed gently in the breeze making him look oddly ethereal. Haku had been beautiful, too, but while he'd been androgynous (yet strong), Neji was a very masculine guy.

Now that I thought about it, I wondered if I had dated Haku because he reminded me of Neji but was a more… polished and kinder version of him.

Regardless of how things had turned out for us, in the end, the guy in front of me had been my first love and such things are a little difficult to forget. I didn't exactly have feelings for him at that point, but I still felt things I thought I had forgotten, and it pissed me off.

"I didn't know how to show it back then, neither did I have the courage to express my feelings as I should have, but I did like you back then, as well," Neji said, softly. "Very much so. Looking at you now, you look so much older and so different from then. I always wanted to tell you that I wished I had done things differently. But you never really let me."

God, where was Kiba? Lately it felt like everything was happening all the same time and this wasn't a situation I was comfortable with for many reasons I didn't need to debate on.

Neji and I hadn't seen each other since he'd gone to college two years previously. Our last encounter was still fresh in my mind and I didn't want to hang onto it at all. Just thinking about it made my body heat up and my stomach churn from embarrassment.

Why the fuck was I blushing at a time like this?

I certainly didn't need Neji back in my life.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to express your feelings," I muttered, a little snappily. "You said it now, though, and I appreciate it. But I'm seeing someone, so this is really uncalled for."

"I'm seeing someone, too," Neji said, rolling his eyes at me and looking slightly offended. "I'm not trying to get in your pants, Naruto. I was just glad we got to meet, and I wanted to get my feelings across. I never wanted for things to end the way they did."

This made me feel slightly guilty. Was I being childish? Had I been childish all along by trying to avoid him since he left? This legally adult man who had once been my senpai at school was not someone I knew how to deal with anymore. It was the same person, standing there in front of me, yet, it felt like a completely different being altogether and I didn't want to feel curious about him, or empathetic when it was so much easier to resent him.

It's not like I hated him, no. It was thanks to my admiration for Neji that I realized I wasn't straight. In fact, I had been so infatuated by his looks and had loved him so blindly to the point where I had allowed him to do everything he wanted, letting him control our relationship the way he saw fit. Neji had been my first lover, and the single one no-one, not even my parents, knew about.

Breaking up with him had been really painful to my young heart - that dramatic devastating end to a passionate first love that I had hoped would last forever. Thinking about it back then, it had felt like the world was about to end, and I had cried so much I thought I might die. When he left for college, even if we were no longer together, I felt like a part of myself had been ripped off.

Neji had gone through the motions in such a poised, almost casual way that it had hurt me even more. Had those months of us dating meant nothing to him?

Of course, this was just overdramatized teenage angst because I managed to move on and find other lovers, other people to have sex with and feel good with, other people to love. Neji surely must've felt bitter in his own way, he just hadn't expressed it the way I did.

Plus, yes, I had effectively been ignoring him all along, thinking it was what was best for me.

Despite our three year difference, he hadn't been a cruel lover, quite the contrary - I had been lucky that someone calm and thoughtful like him had been my first. It was simply that he wanted things to go his way and I got tired of it. We weren't bad together, but maybe because we had both been too young in a secretive relationship, things hadn't fallen into place where they should've.

I groaned, rubbing the back of my neck with a hand. "Sorry, Neji, I didn't mean to be rude," I apologized, making a face. "I just… don't really know how to face you at this point. It's not like I'm not glad to see you or anything."

Neji all but released a sigh, tucking another strand of loose hair behind his ear. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, so I'll be on my way," he then said, his eyes never leaving mine. "I'm glad I got to see you, though. My phone number is still the same. I'll be around until new year's so give me a call if you feel like hanging out. In public spaces, I mean, just so we're clear about that."

His small smirk gave the nuance in his words a playful hint, and I couldn't help but release an embarrassed chuckle. "Sure."

With one final smile and a nod of his head, Neji walked past me and went on his way. Despite myself, I turned around to watch him go, feeling strangely lightheaded all of a sudden. That situation had felt surreal.

With a sigh, I shoved my hands inside the pockets of my jacket and glanced at the showcase beside me again. It was weird, realizing that a part of me still held feelings for Neji, even if they were unrelated to the type of feelings I used to have. Maybe that would never go away, and maybe that was alright.

I didn't know how to feel, though. Did I really expect to never see him again once he went to college, even if our families were from the same hometown?

It was no use thinking about how things could've been anymore, because, at this point, I needed to think about how things would go from then on, and that was all that mattered.

Scratching the top of my head vigorously in frustration, I fished out my mobile phone to check for incoming texts. I had one from Kiba saying he was almost there, but none from Sasuke. Apart from the one he'd sent me a little before arriving at Itachi's place the previous day I hadn't heard from him at all and it was starting to make me feel a little queasy for some reason. Supposedly they should be in Kyoto at that point already, so why wasn't he saying anything? Why hadn't he said anything anymore during the previous day? This wasn't usual at all.

Unavoidably, I wondered if, for some reason, Sasuke had found a way to meet that person already. Maybe things had gone further than expected and now he felt unsure of how to approach me on the subject - because, yes, he was that kind of person and he wouldn't keep it from me for long.

Just thinking about it made my insides churn, though.

Biting on my lower lip, I contemplated calling him to check up on him but then remembered him telling me that Itachi would be shooting that day so maybe it wasn't exactly appropriate.

You're being an idiot, I thought to myself, trying to get my shit together.

Resolutely, I shoved my mobile phone back inside the pocket of my jacket and made my way inside the jewelry store.

TBC...

A whole new chapter for you guys! I hope you have enjoyed it, even if this one isn't as big as the previous ones.

Next chapter will be mostly focused on Itachi (and his career) and Sasuke, but there will be a special moment between Sasuke and Naruto too ;)

Also, do we want more Neji? I know I do ;P

Again, I want to thank all of you for reading and for supporting and loving this story for what it is!

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