PREVIOUSLY ON "LOVE AND OTHER DISASTERS": Sirius and Dorcas were paired up as partners for a school project and consequentially becoming friends, and then got locked in a classroom together by accident; James and Kate hooked up last Halloween; the owner of the bra left under Sirius' bed was Nicole; Nicole lost her virginity to Sirius; Isabel hates Lily because she went out with Nate, Lily hates Isabel because she kissed James (before Lily and James were together) for revenge; Lily and Mary haven't been speaking; Lily and James have been dating for a while now; Remus and Dorcas fancy each other.

What Goes Up Must Come Down

(Lily Evans)

When I wake up the next morning, I'm lying trapped in a prison of deliciously muscled arms and legs.

I squirm a little, but he doesn't move. He's completely out, the prick who kicks like hell in his sleep. I've stayed over in his bed twice this week before last night, and it's becoming far too much of a habit, but I like it too much to stop.

I've got a feeling this morning.

I can't explain it. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, but it's still here. It's unsettling. Something shifting in my stomach, like a storm is coming, like things have been up for too long.

I shift out from under the covers, leaning down to pick up my clothes, when I feel a hand brush against my lower back.

"Hi." James whispers, his voice heavy with sleep. His hair is sticking out in every other direction and straight up in the back. I run my hand through it, but it pops right back up.

"Good morning." I say, I kiss him quickly and finish gathering my stuff together to get back to my own bed. "Do you think anyone's awake yet?"

He shrugs. "Maybe Frank. He's always up before everyone else. But probably not." He says, his fingers dancing across my back in gentle patterns.

I smile at him, and he smiles back at me. "What?"

"Nothing. I picked which concert I'm taking you to this summer."

"Who're we seeing?" He asks indulgently, sitting up against the headboard and leaning his arm behind his head.

"Deep Purple." I say. "They're brilliant."

"Alright. If it means I get to spend the summer with you." He riffs, nudging my thigh with his foot.

I shove him back, pulling on a soft cardigan over my bra and threading my legs through some thread-bare pajama pants.

"I've gotta go." I tell him, leaning over and kissing him once more before I slide out of the bed curtains and into the dorm. Frank's bed is made and his curtains are open, but no one else's are. I tiptoe down the stairs and back up to the girl's dorm.

The room is quiet and untouched, save Paige's and Isabel's beds, which are empty. I take a breath and drop my shoes as softly as I can next to my bed post.

The scrape of a curtain opening makes me turn around, and Nicole is sitting on the end of her bed, still in her lacy bedclothes, staring at me with a smug raised eyebrow.

"What kind of time is this young lady?" She asks crisply. I grin guiltily at her.

"I'll not have my best mate become some common slag, sneaking around in the dead of night!"

"Shut it. I'm not sneaking around." I reply, throwing my cardigan at her roughly. I grab the folded white shirt and red sweater sitting at the foot of my bed and thread my arms through the sleeves.

"Those are Potter's pajama pants, you know that, right?" Nicole replies tartly, pointing with her red-polished toes at my pants. I look down at the maroon checkered pants that hang too low on my hips.

With a glare, I pull the sweater over my head.

"How was it, at least?"

"Things have been... great." I say, running a brush through my hair swiftly, but it gets stuck on the ends of my hair where the tangles are.

"He's good in bed, then?" Nicole asks, dropping her feet off the side of the bed. I say nothing, but work hard to bring the corners of my mouth down.

So what if I am a slag? I'm a happy, fulfilled, satisfied slag with a very attractive and willing boyfriend. A boyfriend that I care about... that I may in fact -

"Look at you, smiling like the cat that ate the canary!" She squeals, jumping up and down and clasping her hands to her chest.

"I am not." I move over to the mirror, brushing off my skirt and inspecting how I look from the side. Nicole's arms hug me from behind, and her chin rests on my shoulder. We look at each other's reflections through the mirror.

"I'm really happy for you, Lily. Really." She says softly.

I smile at her. "Thanks."

She nods and moves to the closet, taking a skirt off its hanger and pulling it up over her legs.

"How are things with you and Tom? You haven't talked about him in a while." I ask.

"Things are fine." She says shortly. She grabs a headband off the dresser, sliding it through her shiny blond hair.

I turn to her, leaning against the wall. "Fine? I thought - "

"I'm going to Paris for the summer." She interrupts with a grin. "Mother worked it all out, owled me yesterday. I'll stay with Grandmére in the cottage right outside the city."

"That sounds amazing." I say. "I, on the other hand, will be in sweaty Cokesworth dodging insults from Petunia."

"Didn't you apply for that two-month healers auxiliary training program?"

"Yeah. But I don't know if I got in yet." I remember the stressful information sheet I had to fill out, including checking a box saying that I was of muggle birth. "And to be honest, I'm not even sure if I want to be a healer at all."

All the lectures from McGonagall and the other professors circulate in my head as I push them away. I knew I wanted to do something with potions, but I didn't want to work at the Apothecary. Professor Slughorn had introduced me to a few researchers and inventors over the past few years, but I hadn't heard from any of them about internships so far. And on every single form or application, there was always that bloody box I had to check. And it might as well have been the mark of Cain, the way it stared at me like the fat, red X it was.

"What do you want to do then?"

"I've always wanted to become a ballerina." I say, twirling around Nicole, thinking about my short-lived dreams of being onstage at the ballet. Nicole shoves me, and laughs.

"You could never last in a real dance school. Look at your form. Sloppy." She says archly, picking up her bag off the messy desk in the corner of the room. "Ready?"

"Almost." I say, shoving the make-up essay I had to write for McGonagall (with James' help).

Breakfast is breakfast as usual, except for Dorcas sits next to Remus and Nicole doesn't end up sitting with us at all. Tom was sitting down at the end of the table, so she broke away from Dorcas and I as soon as we got to our usual spot.

Sirius has his eggs. Peter is absorbed in something he's copying. Dorcas and Remus hold hands under the table.

I push the newspaper away from me when Frank passes it along the table. The pancakes are dry, and I drown them in syrup.

"So, are you two a thing now, or what?" Sirius asks through a full mouth, waving his knife at the boy and girl sitting across from him.

Dorcas and Remus both look at each other through the corner of their eyes, and then looking away.

Peter finally glances up from his parchment. James puts down his fork loudly.

"Yes." Remus says finally. Dorcas' head shoots up and he looks at her for approval, and she smiles slowly.

"Yeah, we are." She adds.

Sirius nods, chewing thoughtfully. "Just thought I'd clear that up for everyone." He says quietly, going back to his food.

James glances at me out of the corner of his eye. He's been saying Sirius has been acting strange since last week, and he keeps asking me if I've noticed.

I'm not really sure what to say. Sirius and I have always had a strained friendship. What with me hating him and him hating me and James fancying me and then me fancying James back finally and him finally warming up to me... I think. I'm not really sure where I stand with Sirius, because we haven't really spoken just the two of us in a while, but I hope we're friends. That said, Sirius always seems a little moody to me, so I always say that he's probably just tired or something.

Breakfast ends awkwardly, Remus and Dorcas leaving together and Peter following Sirius blindly, still reading whatever he was. Sirius strides out, looking irritated about something.

James and I are two of the last people to leave, just as the house elves came up to clear the dishes. He holds my hand warmly, but stares at the ground and only nods when I start telling him about the Charm Club trying to organize a dance sometime next month.

That is, until we're in a mostly empty corridor and his hand breaks from mine to my lower back, pulling me into a searing kiss.

"James!" I push him away from me, catching my breath.

"Merlin I love it when you say my name." He groans jokingly, his hands cupping my thighs and pulling me back up against him.

"I'm going to kick you." I threaten him, shoving his chest to get him away from me. He smells far too good, and I really can't miss class today. They're having individual meetings with students today, and I need to know where I stand what with my grades.

"Come on, we've got a solid few minutes before our next class. There's an empty broom cupboard right across the hall…" He whispers huskily in my ear, his fingers shifting through my hair at my neck.

"You and your bloody sexual tunnel vision." I scold him. He laughs, but it's deep in his throat, like a muted lion roar.

Before I can stop, I'm pulling him into that broom cupboard and unzipping my skirt.

I lay my head against James' chest, after classes have finished for the day and we're free to relax until dinner.

The trees flower brilliantly, the sun casting an orange-yellow glow over everything. The grass tickles my elbow. A bird chips from above, its call answered by two others from different directions. Far away laughter collides with his steady breathing. I let out a loud exhale, my eyes threatening to close from the laziness of it all.

But under this perfect moment, I felt tense.

I had such exact plans in, say, fifth year. I don't remember when it all got so disjointed. Everyone else seemed to know exactly what they wanted to do after graduation. Dorcas was to be a healer, she'd been training for it since the O.W.L.s. Mary arrived at the conclusion she was going to be an Auror in the beginning of this year. Isabel would be married off to some rich pureblood and live out the rest of her life on some grand manor and throw extravagant parties. Nicole was going to be permanently off to Paris. James was getting a place with Sirius and training to be Aurors together, like James' father.

I used to know exactly what I wanted. A suppressed memory resurfaces over Snape and I, sitting together during lunch back in fourth, discussing how we were going to open up our own potions shop. And people could order right from their houses, by owl, and we would have them delivered within the day.

I shut my eyes tightly. There was no use thinking about that, as Snape had obviously changed his plans. I didn't know who exactly he'd allied himself with, but it seemed like a hop skip and a jump from the Death Eaters.

The name makes me almost shiver despite the warmth from the sun.

That was another reason my future seemed unclear. The box I had to check on every form seemed to be becoming more and more important. Attacks were happening more and more, and the only interview I'd been on for a possible apprenticeship turned me away and made some noise about N.E.W.T. scores, even though Hogwarts' N.E.W.T. testing had to be pushed back this year on account of a mistake on the test itself, and something about unfair scoring. The magical world that I was to become an adult in seemed to be turning its back on me.

I turn over on my side, looking up at James. His eyes are closed, and he's breathing so heavily he could be asleep.

Looking at the stubble collecting under his jaw, I think about James' future. And if I'll be in it.

He talks about getting a place with Sirius, but sometimes it almost seems like he wants to ask me. He's never been subtle about anything, though, so maybe it's just my imagination. When I think about what I would say if he actually asked me, I... I might say yes.

When I imagine my future right now, at this moment, nothing else seems clear except for him. I can't imagine going back to indifference, he's become too much of a fixture. He's wormed his way into my heart.

I bite off a piece of the chocolate bar I had James nick for me from Hogsmeade a few days ago. Hey, he's going to break the rules anyway, I should at least get something out of it, right?

He shifts under me, and asks, "You're going to give me some of that, right?"

I lean up on my elbows, holding the chocolate bar over his mouth.

"Bite. Only a bite - "

He looks like he's only going to take a piece off the top, when he actually takes a huge chunk out of it, leaving only a tiny bit left. He smiles guiltily at me, passing it back.

"Pig." I retort, snatching back my chocolate bar (or at least, what's left of it).

He laughs, twirling the end of a piece of my hair with his forefinger and humming.

I sit up, looking down at him with a scrunched-up nose. "Have you finished those schedules yet? Because - "

"I love you." He says suddenly. "You know that, don't you?"

All the air feels like it's been sucked out of me. I almost cough. I couldn't have heard that right. He must have been kidding.

"Shut up." It's the only thing I can think of to say, and I follow it by a nervous, uncontrolled laugh.

His mouth is set in a hard line all of a sudden, and all the light has fallen out of his voice. It's not an expression I'm used to seeing on him, and I'm not quite sure if it's one of my favorites. My stomach hurts all of a sudden, and it's too hot outside.

"I'm serious." He says, sitting up and facing me. His hands clasp mine in my lap. "And I just thought I'd remind you."

"Don't say that." I insist flatly, pulling my hands out of his.

"Damn it Lily." He says frustratedly, running a hand through his hair. "I do."

"Stop, James." I say harshly, "You can't mean that - "

"I am not Snape."

Every molecule of me freezes, and it's like I can't breathe. But he makes me look at him, right into his eyes, as he holds my chin. His hazel eyes break me just a little, and I swallow the lump rising in my throat.

"I'm not Snape and I'm not Isabel. I love you, and I'm not going to hurt you."

The statement is so simple and bare, and painful all the same. I take a breath, trying to find a steady rhythm again. He looks determined, but a little concerned because of my reaction, I think.

"Al - alright." I finally reply. After a moment, he nods once, and leans over to kiss my cheek. And then he pulls me into his arms, a hug that encompasses my entire body, and I cling to him and bury my face in his chest before the tears fall.

"I love you, too." I find myself whispering against him. And I know he hears me, because he squeezes me tightly, and only lets go to press his lips to mine.

The feeling goes away the next day. I was obviously just being pessimistic, expecting just because things were working out that it automatically should fall apart.

I eat dinner next to my extraordinary boyfriend and across from my best friends who were always there for me. I felt lucky, and decided to dwell on that instead of anything else.

"So, all seventh year students, please proceed to the steps in front of the Great Hall for a class picture." McGonagall announced tiredly as dinner was coming to an end.

We all rise noisily, Dorcas and I managing to get out first. The wave of seventh years slowly file out of the doors.

"Excuse me." A shrill voice says from behind us. Dorcas looks at me pointedly, and but I keep walking the way I was.

"Excuse me." The voice repeats.

"Get out of her way, mudblood." Isabel's voice demands.

I stop short, her knocking into my back. I stumble forward, and Dorcas catches my arm. Isabel and Paisley Parkinson stand behind us, laughing meanly. Behind them is a sizable group of Slytherins in our year.

Dorcas squeezes my elbow hard.

There's too much tension between the two of us for things not to blow up quickly. And they do.

"Shut up." Dorcas spits at her, and Isabel's face hardens.

"What was that?" Isabel asks. Paisley seems genuinely surprised, but Isabel isn't.

Dorcas sucks in her teeth. "I said shut up. You're being a bitch."

"Gonna let her talk to you that way?" Winston Pucey says from behind her.

"Fight!" Someone yells.

Nate's here. He's not looking at me, instead at Leslie, who's sending a challenging look to Isabel.

Isabel looks out of the corner of her eye at the group. From behind the Slytherins, some Gryffindors come around them and gather behind Dorcas and I. I can feel James at my shoulder.

She pauses for dramatic effect, and then lets the bomb drop.

"At least I'm not shagging two blokes who happen to be best mates. Tell me Dorcas, what's Sirius like? Is he as good in the sack as everyone says?"

The group congregating around us reverberates with the statement. Everyone looks at Dorcas.

Dorcas' eyes widen. "What are you talking about? I've never shagged Sirius!"

"How come you came walking out after a study session, with your hair all messed up and his shirt open, hmmm?" Isabel's smile is sharp, her canines

I don't know what she's talking about, but Dorcas turns red, and looks from Sirius to Isabel quickly. "I – that's not – It wasn't like that!"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Sirius says coolly.

"We - we were studying, and the door closed, and it got hot. That's it." Dorcas says to Remus. He stands with his arms crossed, his face set and guarded.

Mary's unique laugh cuts through the buzz of muttering. The Ravenclaw Colin Dempsey's hand is around her hip, and she scoffs, "Come on, you're really going to believe that bullshit?"

"Shut up, Mary."

"What? It's ridiculous!" She says pointedly to Remus. He shifts away from Dorcas, his eyebrows furrowing and he looks at Sirius coldly.

"No one asked for your opinion." I felt myself bark. She had the nerve to back up Isabel. The story about Dorcas and Sirius couldn't possibly be true, and she was purposely affirming and backing up the guilts in Remus' head.

Her eyes narrow. She pulls away harshly from Colin.

"You can't seriously not believe me, mate." Sirius tells Remus. This only proves to make him angrier now, pushing past Sirius roughly and leaving the tight-knit group of students forming at the steps outside the Great Hall.

"Of course. I forgot. You don't want to hear anything from me anymore, do you? Any of you." She laughs humorlessly. "My best friends."

"We are supposed to be best friends! You're not exactly acting like it right now - "

"You don't even talk to me anymore Lily! I found out that you and James were dating from Paige. Do you realize how terrible that was?"

"I meant to tell you." I force out.

"You just... what? Forgot?"

My curled fists start to tense up at my sides. "No."

Her expression hurts me. It's like in first year when Evan Clark yanked on one of her ponytails and called her ugly and pinched her arm. Any other time she would have turned around and threw a punch, but it was after her first owl had died. And she tried not to cry, her lip trembled and her eyes softened.

"You used to tell me everything, and then one day you just decided that you were going to buddy up with Nicole - "

"I was there for her." Nicole interjects from behind me. "You were too busy slutting it up on every available cock in sight!"

Mary's face reddens, but she just shouts back, "That's rich coming from the girl who lost her virginity to Sirius Black!"

The group around us choruses an "Oooooooh."

Nicole's expression completely wilts, and she whips around to where Tom stands behind James.

He looks like he's just been punched in the gut, and then he stares with furious eyes between Nicole and Sirius.

Sirius casually shrugs. Tom shoves past the outer shell of the group.

"Tom –"

Nicole runs after him, pushing past Sirius.

James comes to my side, his hand gripping mine.

I feel like I might cry, and Mary storms off in the opposite direction. He squeezes my hand, and I bite my lip to stop from screaming.

Everyone around us stares at each other. Isabel rocks back on her heels, a feral smile coating her teeth. She takes Nate's arm, and kisses his cheek. She looks back at me and her eyes say, ha.

Why I didn't realize how rotten a person she was until this year boggles my mind. She was always there with these bordering-on-cruel remarks, but I never thought anything of it. It wasn't until I did something to cross her, instead of always staying in her shadow, that she showed her true colors.

The scene starts to disband as people start to realize that nothing else is going to happen. I think about running after Nicole, to make sure she's ok, but McGonagall will notice if the Head Girl isn't there for the picture.

James squeezes my hand once more, and walks me numbly up to the front of the group. I spot McGonagall and the photographer still present inside the Grand Hall, talking to Dumbledore.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Samuel Hoskins comes barreling down the stairs. Kate is running after him with tears in her eyes, and she puts her hand on his shoulder. He roughly bats it off.

With no warning, he starts running toward James. James pulls away from me and a second later he's on the ground. Someone screams, I think it was me. I stumble back against someone, who pushes me back up again and off their toes.

Sam, fist still balled tightly, stares over James.

"You think you can go around shagging other bloke's girlfriends!? You think you can fuck my property!?" His voice cuts sharply.

"Sam –" Kate's voice pleads, but he can't hear her.

I drop down to the ground next to James, gently pulling him up into a sitting position, and James clutches his nose.

"What the hell?" I yell. Sirius pushes Samuel away from James. Samuel's eyes are focused and predatory, and through his teeth he grunts.

"Stay away from her. She's mine." He says to James.

"James?" My voice asks brokenly. His eyes are squeezed shut. "What's he talking about?"

"Don't you ever fucking touch Kate again, do you hear me?!" Samuel's voice shouts as he's carried away by the shoulders.

I can't breathe. I can't think, my mind isn't working.

James... and... Kate?

What - what? He must be... He's got to be lying, but why would he lie about that?

It must be Kate, she must be doing this to try to break us up or something, again, but then why's she crying?

James' hand comes out to hold mine, and I roughly shake it off, chest heaving as I look down at him. He looks afraid.

"What?" I blurt out, mostly to myself. I feel eyes on me, but I can't move, my hands are shaking. This must not be true -

"Lils – "

"He's lying, right?"

He says nothing. He just looks at me, with the hazel eyes that I love.

I feel like I'm going to throw up. Bile rises in my throat.

"Tell me he's lying." I choke out. I scream. "Tell me!"

"Alright everyone, group together!" The voice of the photographer says from somewhere far away. The tight-knit circle that surrounds us breaks, filling into lines.

"Lily, it's not - It's not what you think, it wasn't while we were - "

I stand up, roughly batting the hair out of my face, and walking briskly up to where Professor McGonagall is advising students to stand.

"I'm sorry Professor McGonagall, I'm feeling very sick, I have to go lie down." I say all at once, and without waiting for an answer, I run.

A/N: Hey everyone.

Sorry. Lots of things happened really fast, and the next chapter will be lots more reflections and some explanations for things that may have seemed confusing. I hope everyone enjoyed this anyway.

Thanks to all that reviewed the last chapter, and who followed this story. I hope you're liking it.

I don't really have anything else to say. I've had a really shitty couple of weeks. I love everyone reading this bunches, and the next update should be up sometime towards the end of February or before March 15 (I'm hoping if I set a date for myself then I'll get it done faster).

Please review!