Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.
Summary: Some of the significant events in person's life can be measured by coffee...
A/N: This is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe, so this story is best understood after you have read my other stories. There is a major spoiler for Shadowed and Revealed in this story, so I strongly recommend you at least read the main story arc before reading this story.
Measured by Coffee Part One: Acceptance
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22 Mayblossom 1002
It was Seventhday. It was not even fifth hour yet. Why was I awake? Oh, right, because I was invited to join my so-called friends in one of the solariums off the library to...how had Oreius put it? Oh, to "enjoy the early morn" and that sort of stuff (I didn't remember everything else he said, but it must have sounded good because I agreed...that or I'm a gullible idiot...at the moment I was inclined to say the latter). Normally, I'm a decent morning person, but that morning was a different story. It had been long week of training (I really needed to think through the likely consequences of my pranks before pulling them on Oreius...I really did), plus Oreius and I had had a very long Sixthday talk and then I had had nightmare after nightmare when I finally retired. No, I was not having the best morning...I needed coffee.
Walking into the solarium, I noticed that at the moment it was only occupied by Oreius, Ardon, Stonebrook, and his sons, Illusin and Silverstone. Well, Tuulea and Alithia would probably show up soon enough. Stonebrook chuckled as he took in my appearance (simplistic was one word to describe it) and I managed to grin back at him as I toyed with the end of my braid, "Yes, I know, Tuulea will have several things to say about it. But, at least it is not gray or brown." I glanced down at my attire of a simple light blue dress (she would be thrilled I was wearing something other than a tunic with skirt or trousers), and wriggled my bare feet against the cool marble (it was too early for shoes and it was summer so my toes weren't going to fall off). I glanced back up as Oreius opened the doors leading to the balcony and I focused on something more important than my attire. "Please tell me there is coffee somewhere in this room otherwise I will not be able to remember anything said for the next hour."
A more alert person would have noticed that the laughter that was quickly hushed had less to do with my comment and more to do with what one of my "friends" was about to do to me. I was not alert that morning to the conspirators' delight (did I mention I needed coffee or chocolate...or coffee and chocolate?), so I became a victim of their own version of hazing. Ardon walked over to me and silently handed me a mug of what I and my bleary, sleep-deprived state of mind assumed was coffee. I immediately took a huge gulp (oh, how I wished I hadn't)...a second later, the look on my face was apparently hilarious (or so the culprits informed me) as I gagged on...on what I can't even begin to describe, but I knew it wasn't coffee.
I was awake, but it wasn't a happy I-have-my-coffee-all-is-now-right-with-the-world awake. It was more along the lines of a horrified I-don't-know-what-this-is-but-I-think-they-may-have-just-tried-to-kill-me awake. I shook my head then peered at the...contents...of the cup, "What is this?"
Oreius, being the ever so helpful Kentauri he was, just glanced at me and shrugged, "You asked for coffee, did you not?"
I looked from him to the stuff in the cup, which looked remarkably like what I had seen the time the Professor took myself and some other children from the orphanage to the La Brae Tar Pits. I was still examining the stuff as I muttered, "Coffee, yes, and this...this is not coffee. I don't know what it is, but it's bad."
Silverstone, the younger of Stonebrook and Tuulea's sons, made a choking sound and suddenly walked out on to the balcony after I said that and his older brother, Illusin, also looked distinctly amused as Ardon turned to look at me and stated, "It is not that bad, Katerina Alambiel."
I squinted at the contents of the cup with the remarkable resemblance to tar and nodded, "You're right. It's not that bad, it's really very, very, very bad. Well, actually this is just horrifyingly terrible." In case, you didn't notice, I was having a bit of a horrified fascination with the stuff in the cup (I blame the sleep deprivation and the lack of either real coffee or chocolate) and I was not really paying attention to what I was saying. All of which proved to be highly entertaining for the Centaurs (which was good otherwise I would have been in deep trouble).
I pushed some escaping wisps of white hair (recent partial color change I assure you) out of my eyes as I carefully set the cup down then mumbled, "I think it's moving...by itself." Illusin started laughing and I could hear Silverstone laughing out on the balcony while Stonebrook chuckled. I frowned as I looked from Stonebrook to Ardon to Oreius, "Who made this?"
Oreius smirked, "Ardon did."
I blinked at that little bit of information then blurted out the first thing to cross my mind, "On purpose?"
Stonebrook choked and Oreius' entire body shook from the force of his suppressed laugher while Ardon gave me a rather impressive glare as he intoned, "Yes, on purpose, how else does one make coffee?"
I blinked at him (glares aren't very effective on me before six in the morning), "But, this isn't coffee, Ardon. It's, well, it's...okay I cannot actually think of the appropriate word to describe it, so I shall be generous and refer to it as a liquid." I at least had enough alertness to know better than to call it "tar" or "sludge" although it was a close thing. I leaned over to look at it again, "And, it is moving. Right, calling it a liquid isn't being generous, I'm being down right magnanimous to enormous proportions. Why is it moving?"
About this time is when Stonebrook started laughing and his sons just continued laughing, while Oreius gave me a look that was torn between amusement and slight concern (I do not make sense even to myself when I just start talking and am sleep-deprived, caffeine-deprived, and chocolate-deprived, so I can't blame him for being a wee bit concerned). "Katerina, it is not moving. Ardon's coffee is bad, but it has never moved by itself. Wait a minute, where are you going?"
I paused halfway through the door and kind of blinked at the sight of three laughing Centaurs and then Ardon and Oreius who still had some control (it was a bit like a weird dream...except for the stuff Ardon gave me, that was more along the lines of nightmare territory). "I am going to go get coffee that is real coffee and not some barely-liquid thing that keeps moving. By the way, I think it's alive so you should kill it and put it out of its misery." That said I left behind a room full of five Centaurs who were all having laughing fits and wandered my way down to the kitchens.
Twenty minutes later, I was much happier and much more awake as I returned to the solarium carrying a tray with real coffee (my own secret blend) and a lovely gift from the head cook. I was a little relieved to see Tuulea and Alithia had joined the gathering because I was recalling how I had technically insulted Ardon's coffee-making ability (okay, it was more than technically) and I hoped they would protect me if the others changed their minds about how humorous they found everything. Of course, the moment I entered the room and everyone looked at me, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Did you kill it?" Obviously, I need more coffee.
Oreius looked at the floor for a moment (I think he was trying not to burst out laughing like Stonebrook, Illusin, and Silverstone) but Tuulea spoke first, "What are you talking about, Katerina?"
I raised an eyebrow when I noticed Oreius and Ardon exchange a look that was suspiciously guilty before Oreius ran a hand over his beard, "She is referring to the coffee she had a little while ago."
I rolled my eyes as I carried my tray over to the table, "That was not coffee. This is coffee."
I carefully poured my coffee into four cups and offered two to Tuulea and Alithia who looked at it and then Alithia rolled her eyes as she realized what they had done. "Did you really do that to her? Honestly, it was bad enough when you did it to the Kings."
I raised my cup to hide the grin sneaking out as Ardon held up both hands, "It was momentary and it is tradition...and it was Oreius' idea."
I quickly stifled a laugh as Oreius shrugged and then I asked, "So, you traditionally try to poison people with barely-liquid stuff that is somehow alive because it moves by itself?"
Laughter started up around us again, this time with Tuulea and Alithia joining in, as Oreius grinned at me, "No. However, we made it a tradition to trick new knights into drinking Ardon's unpalatable coffee, including the Kings. However, you are the first to retaliate by bringing in someone else's coffee."
I blinked in surprise as I realized I had just gone through a hazing ritual...and, apparently, I had passed. Why had they waited until I had been a knight for nearly two months before doing it? I had no idea and I didn't want to ask, instead I poured two more cups of coffee as Ardon and Stonebrook had absconded with the ones I had already poured and silently offered one to Oreius. Once I saw the surprised enjoyment on each face, I smiled and casually corrected Oreius' assumption. "Actually, I didn't bring someone else's coffee. I mixed up my own special blend, which is real coffee no matter how you look at it." Not one of them argued with that statement.
Oreius chuckled then raised an eyebrow as he finally noticed what else was on the tray I had brought in, "Sepphora, what is that?"
I smirked, "That would be a bag with the rest of my special blend, which is next to my breakfast. Oh, and you cannot call me 'Sepphora' today because it is Seventhday and I will not answer you after this moment if you try calling me that again."
Oreius raised both eyebrows as he looked from me to the gift the head cook had presented to me for my breakfast, "You are going to eat cake for breakfast. Why?"
I shrugged as I happily turned my attention to the plate, "Actually, I am going to eat chocolate cake for breakfast. And, mainly because I'm hungry. Besides, real coffee and chocolate puts me in a very good mood, so I'll forgive you for plaguing me with that barely-liquid stuff which should never be labeled as coffee and I will not start a coup."
Oreius just shook his head and laughed along with the others who had once again dissolved into laughing fits at our conversation. Of course, I thought it was ironic that I was able to mark my full initiation into knighthood by two senior knights with coffee. Oh well, there were worst things (though not many) than suffering that single gulp of that barely-liquid stuff that was definitely not coffee. That Seventhday morning, I enjoyed coffee, chocolate, laughter, and good conversation with friends before I delved back into searching through piles of records and genealogies...it was a good way to start the day.
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A/N: Please Read and Review! Well, I'm trying my hand at a new genre...humor, and yes, this is part of my way to make up for the angst I caused with my last story. This is a three-shot look at three defining moments in Katerina's first six months as a knight. Hopefully, you enjoyed it. Click the little review button below and let me know what y'all thought about it.