A/N: WHOA! WHOA THERE! HOLD ON A MOMENT!

Okay, heres the deal. This chapter is rated a high M. If you're at all offended by sexual activity or anything of that sort you should probably move a long. It's not super detailed, but I'm warning you.

WAIT! DID YOU READ THAT OR ARE YOU JUST IGNORING ME LIKE ALWAYS? Oh... you did. Well okay then.

Enjoy!

Chapter Seventeen

His hand clasped around my wrist, pulling me into him with a sudden surge of strength. I hit his chest, not hard, but with force and looked up to his face. I was a few inches shorter than him without heels and I found him looking down at me, his eyes glinting with the light from the living room. We both dropped to the couch and he released me, turning his head so that we were eye to eye. I had needed to leave but those blue eyes stopped me. Fear had taken over, and yet now that he stopped me it seemed to almost dissipate.

"Listen," he said and I did, lost in his gaze for a moment and wanting to taste his lips again. His brows were raised as if to show that he was worried. "I can't promise happiness to you every day of your life, but I promise I'll try to make you happy everyday."

The writer in him was coming out, and he was getting sappy. I didn't so much mind sappy right now, I almost welcomed it. After everything that had happened in the past couple days, and the whole murder thing I could use some sappy in my life. I could use some Castle in my private life.

I nodded, not sure what to say, knowing that something was different sitting here in the dimly lit living room. I stared at him for a little bit longer, taking a mental snapshot of his expression and then dropped my head to look at my hands, my fingers fidgeting against my will. When the hell did I get nervous around a guy? Never, at least not since I was a teenager, and yet here I was feeling the slightest tremor work it's way under my skin.

"Kate?" I heard him shift on the couch, the leather crinkling under his weight. He moved so I had to see his face. "I'm not asking for anything more than we have now. Just that you'll stay a little longer."

"Why not?" I asked before I could really think the question through and apparently it took him just as off guard.

"Because I enjoy just spending time with you. I'm okay with that."

"Yeah right, guys are pigs remember?"

"True, but there are those of us out there that can wait for when the other person is completely ready… there is internet porn after all." He said with a sheepish shrug which made me laugh. He smiled broadly, and I found myself loving it. Loving him as we were right now, sitting on the couch, so close that I could smell the lingering scent of garlic and pepper from the kitchen and other things that seemed to mix together in my nose.

"You really think I haven't thought about it?" I asked and his eyes dropped to the couch for a moment.

"Not with me… have you?"

"Yes," I said, and before I could stop myself I bent forward, my hands going to his jaw, my nails touching his skin lightly. I could feel the roughness of his stubble on the pads of my fingers as I brought his head up so that our lips could meet. I pulled him closer, our lips mashing, the kiss becoming slightly wet as something else took over. It was like a dam had been broken inside me, all the holding out, all the stamping down of feelings. All of it came rushing forward and I began to stand, bringing him with me, my hands guiding him.

I had to turn my head up once we were both standing, my eyes closed so tightly that I removed a hand from his jawline and dropped it to his chest so that I could feel if he moved away. He didn't, instead he took a step closer and I felt my hands clasp at a wrinkle in his shirt, pulling and tugging at it as if it hid something valuable beneath it. I felt the front of it suddenly loosen and I dropped the hand down and under his shirt, running it over his stomach and pulling the shirt completely from the belt's restraint.

We continued to kiss, but I could feel Rick taking small steps back, being mindful of whatever was behind him, and at the same time I felt a roaming hand at my stomach. His fingers tickled the bottom of it, looking for a way in. Finally he found it and his hands rushed over my skin, making it tremble even more. His hands floated over my stomach, the bottom three ribs and then reached my bra where he stopped and gently cupped what he found there. A small moan escaped away from my mouth and into his.

There wasn't physical pleasure just yet, though it was on it's way with how his hand was moving. It was emotional release, finally after all this time there was release; or at least the beginnings of one.

He slowly pulled away, a small sucking sound escaping from us as our lips parted and I opened my eyes to see his face, eyes darting over my own and confusion washed over me, wondering why he stopped. I could still feel his hand under my shirt, it had switched to the other side, and his fingers were at the edge of the bra wire, as if asking to continue. I waited for him to say something and for a moment I didn't think he would, and then: "Unless we want to get walked in on we should probably move to a more private room."

I swallowed hard, nodded and he grinned. He removed his hand from under my shirt and I did the same, missing his warmth until those hands clasped and he pulled me along in a rush to his room. I stumbled once or twice, but never fell, laughing each time. I could hear his own laughter echoing in my ears and he turned once he opened the door, drawing me into him again and his hand found its place back where it had been. We paused there and it was then I remembered the gun against the small of back. I took a step away from him and pulled it from its holster and unloaded it. I couldn't help but smile at the small look of worry that crossed his face.

"Don't worry." I said and he just nodded slowly. I reached past him and placed the gun and clip on top of a bookshelf in his room before turning back to him. Once the gun was down he smiled again and wrapped his arms around me, pulled me to him.

He kissed me deeply, backing away into the room until his knees bent against the bed and he sat down, pulling away. I stood between his legs, his one hand against my stomach under my shirt and the other on the outside on my hip. He was looking up to me grinning and I couldn't help but do the same even while my stomach swam. It'd been years since I felt so nervous, and it wasn't the coming act that was causing it. The act I was well familiar with, what made my nerves burn in worry was that once this was done and over with that would be it. He'd hang around for a week or two, but he'd have gotten what he wanted.

I took a deep breath and placed my hands on his shoulders and shoved him back, straddling him and bent down so that we were nose to nose. "What would you do if I just left right now?"

"Cry in the corner like a little girl, probably." He said, his breath hot against my face. "Would you make a grown man cry?"

"Maybe," I said and reached to his side and poked him. He gave a small laugh, shifting against my leg. "It depends, would you make a grown woman cry?"

"Never." The smile faded slightly. His hands were on my waist now, and I jerked as a finger prodded my side.

"Ow, stop it."

"Then don't start it," He said, waggling his eyebrows.

"You really don't want to go down this road, Castle. I can take you."

"Please do, oh please take me." I poked his ribs again, causing him to yell 'ow' and laugh at the same time.

I bent down, keeping my lips just out of full reach. He brushed against them, each touch a shock to my nerves, and each time he moved his head closer I moved back, teasing.

"You're mean," he said against my lips.

"I know."

"Then stop."

"You stop."

"I'm not doing anything just yet, want that to change?"

"Anytime, Castle."

I felt his hand touch my neck, keeping me from moving back and I figured he was going to hold me there so he could get to my lips. He didn't, instead he went to my neck, kissing a trail down to my collar bone and then back up to just below my ear, nibbling and gently sucking as he went. My body shivered at the touch and there wasn't much I could do to hide it. Damn him.

I reached down to his shirt and began to unbutton it the best I could with my fingers shaking. He was at the side of my neck, just above the shoulder, sucking at a place that caused a small gasp to come from me. I felt him smile against my skin.

He sat up, slid from his shirt and went back to kissing my mouth, my hands digging into his back at places, pulling him to me, and yet he pulled away. He was working at my shirt, undoing the buttons, and doing it quickly. I pulled it off, still kissing him and we fell back to the bed.

"Black, nice." He said when we parted for a moment. "Thought you'd be more into pink for some reason."

"Black is much more sexy," I said between kisses, undoing my bra and glad to be free of it. I tossed it off the side of the bed, but made note of where it landed. Rick's hands instantly went to my chest and then down my stomach before going back as mine went to his. My stomach was jumping at each touch he made on my bare skin, and I could feel goosebumps crossing his arms as I took hold of them and pulled them away. He looked at me, questioning and I just smirked as I rolled off him and began to pull my pants and panties off. He seemed to catch the hint and took off his own jeans.

Nude on a bed; nude with Castle. A few weeks ago I'd have never seen this coming and would have broken the bones of anyone who suggested it. Even laying beside him, watching as he struggled with getting his right shoe off along with his pants, I couldn't believe it. Was I really going through with this? It would change everything, wouldn't it? Right now we were just playing at it, having fun with each other, spending time with each other… like we did before. This would make it real, this would make it more than fooling around, wouldn't it?

Then there was the whole, 'he'll leave me' thought that broke into my head again while I was stripping out of my clothes. Why was I thinking about this now? This could be amazing, and if he left then he left, I didn't need him. Yet, I'd miss him if he did. I might even kill him for taking advantage of me, but he had been around for two years. Could it just be the chase he was interested in?

Only one way to find out, I thought and took a look over. He was just able to get his boxers off after kicking his shoes to the wall. I smiled at his body, deciding that it didn't matter. Whatever happened, it'd work out in the end.

I rolled over so that I was on top, a part of him obviously very happy at this event and it pressed against my lower abdomen. I looked into his face, trying to see what exactly he was thinking, but I couldn't quite tell other than he seemed happy. We kissed for a while longer, his hand roaming lower and there it stayed his fingers rubbing and sliding inside, once or twice making me groan into his lips. His other hand stayed with my breasts, playing with them gently.

I pulled away and moved his hand from where it was and smiled down at him. There was no backing out now.

"What?" he finally asked, his eyes dancing with mine. I shrugged, reaching down and taking a hold of him, watching the surprise cross his face.

"Nothing," I said, "you do have protection somewhere, don't you?"

He nodded. "First drawer in the left nightstand."

I reached over, following his directions and found a small box sitting in the back of the drawer that was mostly full which sort of surprised me. I pulled one of the tiny square packages out and after a moment had it on him, my hand lingering there.

"I could be really mean here," I said, letting my fingers brush gently against him and giving a small squeeze. His eyes widen.

"Don't you dare, you've teased me enough over the years."

"I dunno, you've been annoying me all that time. I think I deserve to see you suffer, don't you?"

"Great," He said, placing a hand over his eyes for a moment and then running it through his hair, looking to the ceiling. "Just great, I'm in love with an evil woman."

It was the word love that I found somewhat interesting at that moment. He had said it in a nonchalant way, like he was already use to saying it. The other part that grabbed me was that he said it in the first place. I gave a small laugh to keep him from seeing that it affected me.

I removed my hand and straddled him again, sinking down slowly. It was slightly uncomfortable as it'd been a while since the last time I did this little dance, but it quickly disappeared, being replaced by a pleasure that coaxed a groan from my throat as I came to the end. I took a deep breath and waited for a moment, getting accustomed to him.

I looked down with a smile to see Rick's face was contorted, his eyes bore holes through me as I rose and fell against him.

"God," he whispered and I grinned, bending at the waist and began to kiss him, tasting his lips as I continued to try to keep the rhythm going. His tongue snaked out and danced with mine while I felt his hands grip my hips, apparently trying to slow me down. I pulled away and whispered into his ear in between gasps.

"Don't tell me you're so close so soon. I'll be disappointed."

"I wouldn't be if you would slow down a bit."

"Can't keep up?"

I heard his teeth click and then felt his lips at my neck and he pulled me up just enough that I had to slow down and he had full access to my neck and breasts. His kisses made a trail down to my chest and it was there his tongue darted out and I shivered. Oh, that wasn't fair. I wanted to stop him as much as I didn't want him to. My right hand found it's way into his hair where I took handfuls, a familiar feeling building in my abdomen and a bit lower.

He rolled me over so that he was on top and I wrapped my legs around his thighs as he took over. He was gentle, taking his time and made sure that I was getting as much out of it as he was. His hands made a trail down south, drawing circles with his fingers as his lips continued to move between my neck, my lips and everywhere else. I could feel the flood beginning and my breathing followed the closer it got.

When he sped up slightly I felt the dam break, pleasure rushed over every nerve in my body, my legs shook, my stomach danced and muscles moved on their own while my fingers dug into the sheets. I came and came hard, but it wasn't just once, and it wasn't quick, somehow it was drawn out and I was left sweating and shivering, my breath coming in gasps. A few 'oh Gods!' came from me but it was in a different voice than my own, at least it sounded that way. I opened my eyes when I realized I had closed them and he smiled down at me as he slowed and I couldn't help but smile up at that face of his. He had certainly had a lot of practice, but then, so did I. I reached up and touched his face and without much warning we rolled again so that I was on top. He had made me go over the edge and it was my turn to return the favor.

"Damn, Kate." He grunted out as I got back into the rhythm I had when we first started. I was still having after shocks from before which just made it even better. Each move down sent another little burst through my nerves and I reveled in each one. I moved against him, up and down and back and forward, using everything I could to make him feel as good as he had me and he lasted much longer than I expected.

When he did finally go over I dropped down and kissed him. I could feel him pulsing inside and he groaned in my mouth, his skin shivered and felt slick from sweat but he still kissed back even as he groaned. He came down after a few moments, going soft inside but he still kissed me passionately, as if he was trying to show that this wasn't all he wanted from me.

I finally got off and lay down on the bed beside him, my stomach still jumping from time to time and I placed a hand below it and gently rubbed, letting it run its course while I looked over to Rick. His chest was heaving as was mine and his face was up toward the ceiling, his mouth slightly parted. I rested my hand over his chest and he placed one of his on top of it and looked over.

"You know how I said you were extraordinary?" He said and I nodded.

"Yeah…" I said slowly, was I not that good? That couldn't be the case with how he acted a moment ago.

"I need to find a much better word because it doesn't begin to describe you that well anymore." He said with grin and I kissed him, laughing.

"You're not half bad yourself, it's been a while since I felt that amazing." I said and felt my cheeks redden even as the words left my mouth. He smiled and turned over so that we were eye to eye.

"Then I did what I set out to do." We lied there for a moment just staring at each other and the room before finally the sweat that was running down my back and between my breasts became cold enough that I couldn't stand it.

"I need a shower…" I said, not wanting to move from his side, but needing to.

"I could join you." I laughed and shook my head.

"Maybe later." I sat up, headed for the bathroom and stopped at the door. "Do you have a shirt I could borrow?"

He nodded and rolled out of bed, his butt lit up by the moon outside as he stood at the chest of drawers. He was right, it was a nice ass. He pulled out the a maroon shirt and tossed it to me. I caught it, went and picked up my panties from the floor before heading for the shower.

I came back out to find him with his boxers back on. He got up and kissed me before heading into the bathroom, saying, "I hope you left me some hot water."

"Probably not." I said and went back to the bed. I placed my head on the pillow, my body tired and willing sleep. My sleep schedule was still messed up from the case and once I hit the pillow I was out.

At some point I felt him get in bed beside me, his hand going under my arm as I was lying on my side and then his arm snaked around and pulled me gently toward him so that my back was against his chest. I could feel his soft breathing in my hair and I placed a hand to his, intertwining out fingers together.

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of my cellphone going off somewhere in the room. I sighed, unwrapped myself from Rick's arms and swung my legs over the side of the bed, the sheet peeling away from me. I found my jeans against the wall and squinted as I began to pick through the pockets. I had forgotten that my phone had been in my back pocket when I tossed the jeans across the room.

I found it after the seventh ring. It didn't look broken but in the dark it was hard tell. I pushed up on the front and put it to my ear, hoping it wouldn't be another case.

"Beckett." I said and Esposito's voice came over.

"Hey, sorry but we caught a case." I swore softly and sat on the bed. "We weren't up for it, but I think someone hates us somewhere because we got called."

"What happened?" I asked and I heard Rick stir from his sleep. He moved up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"What is it?" he asked in a low tone that I barely heard and I turned frowning, mouthed 'murder' to him. He sighed and kissed my shoulder multiple times as Esposito gave me the address.

"All right, I'll be there in a little while."

"Sorry, Beckett." Esposito said and I hung up.

"Guess murder never sleeps."

"And neither do I," I said standing, my legs screaming at me from the toll of the night before. It was fully worth it though. I went over and got my jeans on and turned around to find Rick getting dress as well and I had to smile. He turned, probably feeling my eyes on him and shrugged.

"You should at least try to get some more sleep." I said, buttoning my jeans.

He shook his head. "We're partners, and I'm coming along."

For the first time between us the word partners meant a little more than just co-workers

Well, this is where we part ways, my friends. I hope you really enjoyed this story because I enjoyed writing it. I know there aren't many first person stories for Castle, which is why I tried my hand. It was a learning experience to say the least. I might continue this storyline at a later date in another story, but I haven't decided.

Also, it's the first sex scene I've written (and to make it even harder on me, it's from Kate's POV. Well, if it was easy there wouldn't be any fun in it :D ) I had some input from a few girl's that are friends and of course ChrisS kicked major ass through out this story and gave me great input from the beginning until the end. Thanks so much Chris, you rock.

So, it goes without saying, any mistakes are on me and my own stupidity.

So what's next? I don't know. I've started a new story, but I'm holding off on continuing it for now. I want to see how the show plays out. It may be a little bit before you hear from my again, but don't fret, I'll back back soon enough.

Thanks for reading and take care,

-Xonze