Warnings: Cussing, vaguely sexual situations. Kind of directionless and plotless and super fluffy just like everything I write.
Disclaimer: Neither FFVII or FFVIII belong to me. Or Kingdom Hearts, I guess, but that doesn't show up til the end.
Notes: Cleaning out my writing folders, found this fic. Here goes? Events occur post-Advent Children for Cloud, post-game for the FFVIII gang.

x x x

Cloud woke up to the sensation of someone prodding at him with something very pointy. The intent behind it didn't seem to be malicious, though, so he rolled over and glared instead of stabbing back.

"So you're alive after all," the blond man looming over him said.

"What." Cloud sat up and looked around. He was in a makeshift camp that showed signs of being well lived-in, and he had no damn clue how he'd gotten there.

The looming man raised an eyebrow. "Oh, fantastic. He speaks. Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my bedroll?"

Cloud looked down. He did indeed appear to be encased in a sleeping roll. How very strange. "Who are you?" He asked, mind slower than normal in that he still had no damn clue where he was. This shouldn't have been happening. He hadn't even blacked out. Where was Tifa? Had she dumped him here?

"Manners, pretty boy. Didn't your mother ever teach you any?" The man's lips formed a strange combination of a sneer and a smirk, and Cloud decided that he needed to find someone else to explain because this guy was about the most obnoxious person ever. It didn't take long to discover this.

"My mother's dead," Cloud said.

"So's mine. Since I was born." The man replied promptly, "So you don't get to guilt trip me with that. What's your name?" He crouched down and poked at the embers of a fire that had long since gone out. Sighing, he tugged off his gloves to dig through a bag and came out with a box of matches, which he used to light some paper and drop it on the coals. He tossed a piece of firewood on top of it.

Now that he thought about it, Cloud was rather cold. "Where are we?" He asked, confused. Was he back in Nibelheim?

"You are made of fail," the man said with a tone of awe. "Hyne, I guess I'll go first because you can't seem to answer a fucking question. I'm Seifer Almasy, former Sorceress' Knight. Your turn."

None of it meant anything to Cloud, but at least he had a name to go with the face. "Cloud Strife. Where are we?"

"The Bika Snowfield in Trabia." Seifer perused him for a moment. "You have no clue where that is."

Cloud shook his head.

"You don't even know what Trabia is." Seifer said.

Cloud shook his head.

"The name Ultimecia probably doesn't even mean anything to you." Seifer said, squinting at him curiously.

Cloud shook his head once more.

Seifer whistled, impressed. "Where you from, spiky?" He set a stand over the fire and then a pan on the stand.

Cloud scowled at the nickname, but supplied, "Nibelheim, before. Edge now."

Seifer stared at him blankly.

"Midgar. Gaia. Means nothing?"

Seifer nodded.

"Thought so," Cloud sighed, sinking back into the sleeping roll. Maybe going back to sleep would help.

x x x

The next time he woke up, Cloud actually left the tent. He made sure he had everything essential with him, only sparing his clothes a passing glance while he spent long minutes making sure the six segments of his fusion sword were in perfect shape. Too bad Fenrir wasn't here with him, but he would make do with what he had.

Seifer wasn't anywhere in the near vicinity when he emerged from the tent, and Cloud looked around with a frown, wondering what exactly he was supposed to do now. But he wasn't some whimpering, dependent child who needed his mother to take care of him, so he started walking in a random direction, exploring the area.

It wasn't until after he had to fend off a Blue Dragon that he considered going back to sleep again. This was such a waste of his time. He slid his sword back into its holster and wiped sweat off his brow.

A slow clap sounded behind him and he turned to find Seifer there, his own blade slung across his back. It looked like a strange cross of a gun and a sword, but Cloud couldn't say anything about ridiculous weapons so he kept silent.

"Impressive," Seifer drawled. "Everyone from your world as good a fighter as you?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Anyone from your world as good a fighter as you?" Seifer pursued the point.

Cloud hesitated this time. "There used to be," he eventually murmured.

Seifer hummed in partial understanding, but Cloud didn't feel like explaining. What could he say? All the rest are dead because of me? Crazed murderer wasn't the right impression to be handing to the man who was essentially taking care of him.

"Well, then." Seifer said, unslinging his blade. "Let's do this."

"What?"

"Let's see what kind of fighter you really are," Seifer challenged, then charged so that Cloud had to jump back and block with his sword to keep from being impaled.

Seifer's foot collided with his abdomen and he flew backwards, landing in a crouch. His eyes narrowed. So that's the way he wanted to play?

Seifer wasn't going to know what hit him.

x x x

"Wow."

Cloud looked over at the previously unconscious man from where he kneeling, tending the fire. "Shouldn't challenge foreign swordsmen," he warned quietly. "Some of them won't be as nice as me."

"You're a crazy fucker," Seifer said with a tone of agreement. He struggled to sit up, and Cloud rolled his eyes and shoved him back down effortlessly.

"You'll only hurt yourself," he scolded. "Rest."

Seifer complied, staring up at Cloud with awestruck green eyes. It was almost enough to make him blush; instead, he looked down, eyelashes fanning over his cheeks.

"That was incredible," Seifer said in a hushed tone. "Shiva, normally I'd be spouting all this bullshit about how it was a fluke, but I can't even pretend – where'd you learn to fight like that?"

Cloud actually did blush this time, though he fought it valiantly. Finally, he said, "There were people I had to protect." And he left it at that.

Seifer didn't say anything. His own eyes were downcast, but Cloud didn't press. He didn't have the right to ask anything of this man.

"You weren't bad," he eventually broke the silence.

It seemed to work at breaking Seifer from his melancholy. The blond looked up with furrowed brows. "What?"

"You did some things that I've never seen before." Cloud gestured vaguely. "That cross thing. And the whirlwind."

Seifer nodded his understanding. "Those are my limit breaks. I tap into them when I'm running low on energy. Everyone here has different ones. I can access it when I'm barely hurt, but some people need to be nearly dead before they can use them."

"We have limit breaks in my world too." Cloud said distantly, but didn't explain anymore. Seifer, following his lead from before, didn't push it. He seemed to understand that Cloud didn't want to talk about Gaia.

By this point, it had been long enough since their battle that Seifer had regained some of his strength. He managed to push himself upright, and locked his arms around his drawn-up knees for support. After staring pensively at Cloud's face for a time, he said in a low voice, "I don't have the resources to figure out where you came from, much less how to send you home. You should go to B-Garden."

Cloud arched his eyebrows questioningly.

"Balamb Garden," Seifer clarified. "Where I came from."

Cloud shot him a flat look. Totally unhelpful. "Care to elaborate?"

Seifer rolled his eyes and started talking. By the end of the night, Cloud was sorry he'd asked.

x x x

Sunset over miles and miles of nothing but snow was a remarkable sight. The clean white landscape was tinted with hues of purple and orange that painted the whole valley with a vibrant glow. Nibelheim had never had sunsets like this. Just the snow.

A shuffling noise down below alerted Cloud that Seifer was approaching, but he didn't bother looking until Seifer knocked on the tree trunk so the branch he was on vibrated. "Hey, spiky," Seifer called up. "C'mon, we're taking a trip."

Cloud dropped down next to Seifer in a crouch and straightened up with a question in his eyes.

"Trabia Garden. I'm running low on supplies." Seifer explained. "There's only so much animal meat I can eat before I want good old-fashioned potato chips again. Plus I'd like to bathe without feeling like a snow lion's gonna find me and eat me while I don't have my blade."

Cloud couldn't deny that civilization was a welcome idea for him as well. He wanted to see if he could contact anyone from home, and Seifer's cell phone had already proved to be useless in that regard.

He looked around their camp and frowned. "How many supplies can you expect to carry with all of this equipment strapped to your back?" The tent alone would take up more space than they could spare, and that said nothing about the bedroll.

Speaking of bedrolls, they needed to pick up another one if Cloud was going to stay with Seifer. Seifer may have been a surprisingly considerate bed partner, but that didn't mean Cloud was comfortable waking up every morning enveloped in his arms. Well, actually, he didn't mind the warmth. And it was hard to have nightmares with Seifer's slow breathing in his ear, his steady heartbeat against his back.

Maybe it was uncomfortable to acknowledge how much he liked it.

"Oh, we're not taking this crap." Seifer said with a disinterested glance around.

Cloud frowned in confusion.

"We're in a safe area that's been spelled against monster attacks," Seifer explained. "Haven't you wondered why no beasts have bothered us during the night?"

Apparently Seifer thought he was an idiot. That wasn't cool. "I wasn't wondering about animals looting your camp. I was thinking more about humans," Cloud clarified.

"Oh. Well, how many humans have you seen passing through this way?" Seifer pointed out, but his eyes were oddly shifty.

Cloud stopped, crossed his arms, and waited. He knew he was stubborn enough to wait him out.

"It's spelled against humans also. No one would be able to see it unless I had given them permission," Seifer finally said.

That would have been an enormously useful skill to know over the course of Cloud's life. "Where'd you learn that? Can you turn yourself invisible?" Cloud asked. He wondered if he could learn the spell himself, or if it was unique to Seifer's abilities.

Shifty eyes weren't the half of it. Seifer shuffled his feet and set his jaw as he looked pointedly away. He really was the worst bluffer Cloud had ever seen. "I had a… teacher, I guess, who taught me some things," Seifer replied. "And it only works on inanimate objects."

Cloud hummed in understanding. Still, it would be a highly valuable talent to learn. "You're teaching me," he decided.

Seifer laughed. "I can do that."

x x x

"No luck?" Seifer asked absentmindedly as he perused the dry food aisle of Trabia Garden's small convenience store.

Cloud shrugged as he came up beside Seifer. He couldn't be truly disappointed when he'd hardly had any hope to begin with. The Garden phones worked no better than Seifer's had at contacting home, but could he really expect a standard payphone to cross space-time to get in touch with Tifa? Not bloody likely.

He was more frustrated that the student library had no references to Gaia, Midgar, or Jenova. There was always the vague possibility that their worlds had some connection, but so far he hadn't found it.

"What are you looking at?" He asked in lieu of answering.

A package of noodles flew at him, and he caught it instinctively. "What do you think? Rice or noodles?" Seifer asked him.

"Why not both?"

"I wouldn't be able to fit them both in my pack," Seifer replied. He scratched his cheek. "I guess rice. I think it would last longer."

Cloud twisted his head to make sure there actually was a pack on his back and he wasn't imagining it. "My pack's empty," he pointed out.

Seifer looked up at him in surprise, then turned away. "I figured you'd want me to put you on a shuttle to Balamb Garden," he said with studied casualness.

Oh. Seifer had gone into this with the belief that Cloud wouldn't be coming back to the snowfields with him. It made sense; Cloud should take the opportunity to talk to people who might be able to help him instead of wasting his time hunting monsters and talking with the unexpectedly interesting and thoughtful gunblader. He had a responsibility to return home to a world that needed him. He didn't have time for a vacation.

"Get both," he said quietly, handing the bag of noodles back to Seifer.

Poisonously green eyes brightened, and Cloud couldn't fight back a pleasant flutter in his stomach as Seifer graced him with a genuine smile before saying loudly, "That means we have room for booze! I'm going to get you so wasted."

"Alright," Cloud agreed.

For once, he didn't feel like being responsible.

x x x

"Go ahead, laugh it up," Seifer said, glaring at the TV as he lounged on the hotel bed.

Cloud sat cross-legged on the other bed. He couldn't stop laughing, which was honestly a very strange experience for him. It felt good.

Seifer glanced over at him and couldn't seem to help cracking a smile at his mirth. "I can't believe I didn't see this coming," he admitted.

It was pretty stupid of him. Cloud smirked. "I did."

"Well fucking fantastic for you, spiky," Seifer said with a scowl that had little menace to it. It was made all the more ridiculous by the state of his face, and the reason for Cloud's laughter.

Seifer had shaved off his mountain man beard, leaving him with bare cheeks for the first time since Cloud had met him. Unfortunately, he hadn't realized that he'd developed a deep tan everywhere on his face that wasn't covered by facial hair. The bottom half of his face was sickly pale, while the top half was deeply sun-browned. There was a visible line where it cut off. It looked hilarious.

"Just because you don't have to shave, you effeminate man-child…" Seifer grumbled.

In all honestly, the odd tan line was the only flaw on an otherwise gorgeous face. Cloud had always known that Seifer's eyes were pretty, but he hadn't been able to see how they complemented his chiseled jaw and high cheekbones. Shaggy blond hair, probably longer than Seifer normally wore it, hung into his eyes and gave him a strangely boyish countenance that contrasted magnificently with the raw masculinity of his body.

And, though some people likely would believe it to be a disfigurement to a beautiful face, that scar was maybe the sexiest thing Cloud had ever seen.

Of course, it was hard to take Seifer seriously when he looked like someone had spray-painted the bottom half of his face white.

"So what are you going to do?" Cloud asked.

Seifer shrugged. "My beard grows pretty fast, so this shouldn't be a problem for long."

"Until then, you won't venture out in public?" Cloud guessed.

Seifer turned his head to look at him. "Why would I do that?"

Cloud couldn't tell if he was kidding. "You're a prideful person," he pointed out. It didn't seem characteristic of Seifer to be fine with looking like an imbecile in front of others.

The statement garnered him a weird look. "Yeah, about my fighting ability. I don't care what people think of my looks."

He said it like it was obvious, but it left Cloud staring at him in contemplation. Odd, he wouldn't have expected such a practical response from the arrogant man, but he realized he'd never seen Seifer do anything for the sake of material vanity. He was arrogant, but only about his talents and abilities. From what Cloud had gathered, Seifer was highly powerful in this world, even if it had taken Cloud an appallingly short time to massacre him on the sparring field. Perhaps Gaia had a higher standard for power than Seifer was accustomed to.

Either way, he respected Seifer more for his answer.

"Oh man, you see the jugs on that girl?" Seifer asked, attention caught by the game of beach volleyball on TV. "You could land an airship on that rack."

It did not take much to respect Seifer more than he already did. Cloud kept forgetting that, somehow.

x x x

"So do you, or do you not, want me to take you back to Garden?" Seifer asked from behind him.

Cloud didn't respond for a moment; he gave no indication that he was aware of Seifer's presence. He stayed leaning against the tree and stared into the sunset, captivated by the orange glow cast onto the surrounding tundra.

Seifer didn't say anything either. He just stood there, watching Cloud from behind.

"Why are you here, Seifer," Cloud eventually asked.

No hitch of breath or gasp of surprise followed his words. Seifer had known the question was coming.

Seifer sighed, coming over to stand next to Cloud. "I needed to get away from Garden," he mumbled.

Cloud turned to him. "What could you possibly have done, that you believe you deserve to be stranded here out of penance?" He scrutinized Seifer, trying to read something in his eyes, but Seifer turned away before anything could be gleaned from those bright green depths.

Another long period of silence. "You can't guess?" Seifer finally asked, turning to meet Cloud's gaze. Torture and guilt warred for dominance in his eyes, but something else was there too, insidious and faint.

"You sided with Ultimecia in the war," Cloud guessed, but it isn't really a guess when one already knows the answer, is it?

Seifer stayed silent.

Cloud lifted a hand and spread it across Seifer's cheek. Rough stubble tickled his palm. "But not entirely of your own volition?" He said, this time a question.

Seifer paused, but nodded.

Then Cloud read something in his eyes that answered all his questions at once. "You don't feel guilty because you killed so many people," he whispered, abruptly certain. "You feel guilty because you don't feel guilty enough for it."

Seifer growled and jerked away. "What would you know?" His defensiveness was so transparent as to be laughable.

"I know about guilt, Almasy," Cloud said with a glare. "I've killed too."

"Yes, but for the good guys," Seifer snapped back. "You never fought for the enemy, did you?"

"If it weren't for me, the best man I've ever met would be alive," Cloud replied, hushed. "I would side with Sephiroth a hundred times over if it meant bringing him back to life."

Seifer shot him a look of almost tangible disgust. "Don't even feed me that shit, Strife. You've come to terms with your guilt; I can see it in your eyes. But you're a good guy. You would never get over fighting for the wrong cause."

Amazing, how much a man could be certain he knew after living only one lifetime. "Do you know how long it took me to get over their deaths?" Cloud asked. "It took me seven years to even want to talk to human beings after it happened. Suddenly, four months after a betrayal that was barely even your fault, and your world has ended?"

"I don't feel bad about betraying them!" Seifer exploded, eyes wild. "That's why I'm stranded here in this barren wasteland. How could I face other people knowing I would as soon kill them as talk to them?"

Cloud was sick of this bullshit. "People are sick and depraved, you ignorant bastard! Every person you know has thought the same things as you, they just haven't had the strength to pursue their dreams because they feared the inherent risk involved."

"Squall didn't," Seifer said with smug self-loathing.

"From what you've told me, Squall doesn't even have the mental capacity to have a dream." Cloud spat. "He made SeeD. He didn't have the imagination to want anything else."

For some reason, that seemed to reach Seifer in a way that none of his others words had. Odd. The taller man stared at him blankly, thoughts visibly whirring behind his eyes.

Cloud lowered his voice. "Get over yourself. War happens. Don't even pretend like you're special enough to have been the cause of it."

"That's so negligent," Seifer said, making a face. "War is made up of individuals. I wasn't the sole cause of it, but it's because of people like me that war happens at all."

"It's because of people like Squall too, and me," Cloud said. He looked out into the distance. "I'm basically you, except a whole hell of a lot smarter. I went through the youthful ambition phase and joined a corrupt organization that ruined lives because I wanted to make a name for myself. You're part of a flawed system. You're not the flaw."

Seifer came up behind him and, before Cloud even had time to tense up, dropped his forehead to rest on Cloud's shoulder. "Why are you trying to remove all accountability from my actions?" He muttered. "How am I supposed to grow as a person if you keep convincing me that it's not my fault?"

Fair point. Still, it was either of the two extremes, and listening to Seifer whine about his war guilt was just annoying. "I know about guilt, Almasy," he repeated. "You don't need guilt to develop emotionally. You need awareness. And you can't achieve that by isolating yourself in the icy wilderness."

"Yeah." Seifer acknowledged quietly. They stood in silence for long minutes.

Now the tides had been turned, and Cloud had to confront his own demons. The terrible truth was, he didn't want to get home. He'd rather be here, here with weaker fighters and lesser monsters, here where he had no fear of death or dying. He never had to save this world; there were other men for that. It wasn't his job to be the martyr.

Besides, what if he went back to Balamb Garden and they couldn't figure out how to send him back? Where was he supposed to go from there? It was easier for him to stay secluded in the mountains where, yes, he had no hope of returning to his home, but then again, there was no possibility that his hopes would be crushed.

Basically he needed a vacation, and as much of a douche as Seifer was, he was an easy person to waste time with. Hours could flash by without Cloud realizing it.

But Seifer put a voice to all his fears as he straightened up with a groan and asserted, "Let's get you to Garden, then."

Cloud stayed silent, and they went back to pack together.

x x x

Cloud's gaze caught on Seifer's face, which was focused with unsettling pensiveness on the hovering structure above them. He trailed his fingers up the underside of Seifer's exposed wrist and the taller man shot him an absent smirk, but it was clear his thoughts were on the Garden that was sinking slowly to the ground for a eight-week docking period.

"I'm alright," Seifer finally answered his unspoken question. "I can handle this." The awkward phrasing of it convinced Cloud of its truth; Seifer would never be so candid if he were covering up his true emotions.

"You don't have to, though. It isn't your problem to handle." Cloud told him.

Seifer laughed. "You know as well as I do that we're fighting different battles here," he stated. Cloud couldn't argue that one. "C'mon, let's –"

"Hey, asshole!" A loud voice cut through the air. A short blond, even shorter than Cloud, bounded up to them. "Didn't think I'd ever see your fat face around these parts again."

Seifer gritted his teeth. "Chickenwuss," he acknowledged reluctantly. "How nice to see you. Kindly leave my presence before I kick your ass into next week."

"You're a riot, Seifer," 'Chickenwuss' sneered back, "as if me and Squall and Selphie didn't beat your ass more times than you can count."

"All three of you." Cloud deadpanned. "And that passes for impressive in Balamb?"

He didn't mean it, not entirely. It had taken two of his friends with him to defeat Sephiroth, after all. But, as much potential as he had, Seifer was no Sephiroth. More than that, this little twit bothered him.

Seifer barked a laugh and the short boy turned crimson in rage and humiliation. "Wow, Seifer, you've found a friend who's as much of an asshole as you are!" The boy exclaimed mock-brightly. "Didn't think it was possible."

"Shut up, Dincht, no one wants to listen to your squawking," Seifer said distractedly, already looking past him. "C'mon, let's go talk to Squall," he told Cloud.

Squawking wasn't even hyperbole, Cloud thought with amusement as they sidestepped Dincht, ignoring his angered demands for them to come back and say that to his face.

x x x

"Hyne, it's like I'm at a social retard meet-and-greet," Seifer said with a roll of his eyes, boots propped up on the desk as he watched Cloud and Squall not -talk to each other.

"Shut up, Almasy," Squall said, sparing him a disgusted glance.

Cloud smirked but said nothing.

"Fine, then. I invite you to converse. Take it away." Seifer crossed his arms over his chest and raised one eyebrow challengingly.

Cloud looked at Squall. Squall looked at Cloud.

Seifer laughed. A lot.

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose. "Who are you again?" He asked.

"Cloud Strife." Cloud answered promptly.

A pause. "And where are you from?" Squall coaxed.

Cloud looked at Seifer, frustrated by the useless line of questioning. This was the fourth time he'd told his story and nothing had come of it yet. No one knew where Gaia was, so what could would it do them to go over this again?

Seifer took his hint and rattled off, "He's from Gaia, he woke up in my bedroll, he's incredibly powerful, and he has no fucking clue how he got here. Any more questions?" He yawned.

"Yes, actually," Squall said, jaw clenched. "What about our world is different than yours?"

Cloud frowned. It was the first time anyone had asked a question even bordering on useful, and it surprised him more than it should have. He shouldn't underestimate the people from this world. Seifer was prone to bouts of insight that bordered on the psychic sometimes, and he couldn't have been the only one with talents in Balamb.

"We use magic differently. You have Draw Points, we have balls of pure energy called Materia." Cloud said, and thought some more. "I haven't heard anything about Lifestream or Cetra here."

"We don't have Mako or SOLDIER here," Seifer contributed.

Cloud nodded. "And we don't have sorceresses or SeeD. We also don't have GFs. And I've never heard of Triple Triad before now."

Squall pursed his lips. "What do our world have in common?"

"Summons," Seifer said instantly. He turned to Cloud and smirked, tugging at a lock of his hair. "And chocobo, clearly."

Cloud scowled. "The same magic attacks – Curaga, Bio, Flare, etcetera. A common language."

"Limit breaks," Seifer added. He tilted his head to the side in contemplation. "Crazy motherfuckers trying to take over the world."

That was undeniably true.

"So there must be some link between the two worlds," Squall said thoughtfully.

"Let's assume this wasn't an accident and that someone purposefully sent Cloud over here," Seifer proposed.

Squall's eyes narrowed. "Why would they do that?"

"That's the million-gil question, isn't it?" Seifer shot back. "Was it meant to help him, or to harm him?"

"I can't see any way that this experience has helped me, or the people of my world," Cloud answered.

Seifer looked skeptical. "Right, but someone with the magical ability to send people across worlds must be pretty damn powerful. If they wanted to harm you, why wouldn't they just kill you right there?"

"Fair point," Cloud admitted. He glanced at Seifer and realized something. "You don't think it was on purpose."

Though it took a moment of uncharacteristic hesitance, Seifer nodded.

"So you believe some mage with too much power on his hands accidentally vaulted Strife through time and space for no reason more than his own incompetence?" Squall asked. This time, he was the one showing skepticism at the notion.

Another pause, and Seifer's eyes shifted to this side this time, unwilling to meet Squall's gaze. He took a breath. "Right idea, wrong gender," he muttered.

Only confusion registered in stormy blue eyes for a minute, then Squall stood up so fast his chair flipped over. His eyes glinted with anger. "You can't possibly mean –"

"Hey, it's not that ridiculous a thought," Seifer snapped, cutting him off. "C'mon, Squall, she's a hot lay and all, but even you can't believe she knows what she's doing with the shitload of magic powers that just got dumped on her."

Rinoa, Cloud realized suddenly. They were talking about Rinoa, Squall's girlfriend, who had gained Ultimecia's powers through some strange situation during the war where her body was taken over. It had something to do with space travel and moon monsters, and the transference of consciousnesses through time. Shiva, and Cloud had thought his ongoing battle with Sephiroth was complicated.

"What possible reason could she have for summoning a soldier from a different world?" Squall pointed out, voice like flint.

Seifer deflated a bit. "Hell if I know, but it's the only idea that makes sense and you know it. She's a sweet kid but she's as useless as a Chickenwuss in the kitchen. She accidentally broke my arm trying to shut a door once."

Cloud stared.

Noticing his gaze, Seifer nodded. "True story."

"She wouldn't have achieved anything by summoning him," Squall insisted. "She's – still in the learning process, but she's not irrational."

Seifer snorted.

Squall glared. "Fuck you."

"Tell you what, let's ask her." Seifer shrugged. "Then we'll see who's right."

"Fine," Squall snapped.

"Fine," Seifer said genially.

x x x

Cloud, still red as a tomato, buried his face in his hands.

"I should have made a bet out of it," Seifer mused aloud for the benefit of the fuming gunblader sitting at the other side of the cafeteria table. "I could use a new gunblade."

"Piss off," Squall muttered.

"I'm sorry," Rinoa professed for the twelfth time. "I didn't think the magic would be so literal!"

Seifer drummed his fingers on the table. "Here's a tip, Rin-baby. Next time, do the research."

"I'm sorry," she murmured again.

A large hand settled on top of Cloud's hair and mussed it gently. "You alright, big guy? Am I gonna need to get smelling salts?"

Cloud shook his head. He wasn't about to open his mouth; he had honestly no idea what would come out. Something humiliating, no doubt.

At least his shyness was amusing to someone. Seifer was chuckling next to him, hand slipping from his hair to curl fondly around his neck. "One would think my perfect girl would be able to handle surprises better," he teased good-naturedly. "Then again, one would also expect my perfect girl to, you know, be a girl."

Cloud mumbled something incoherent. Even he didn't know what he'd meant by it.

"You're taking this awfully well," Rinoa said diffidently. Her voice spoke of her worry at the blond's mental state.

"It's either take it well, or get pissed at you and have your boyfriend leap to your rescue and try to hack off my nuts for daring to raise my voice against his darling princess," Seifer replied, the first hint of anger entering his voice.

A sigh sounded from across the table. "Thus, it begins," Squall muttered under his breath.

Seifer's voice hardened. "What, I'm getting mad? Well, shit, Leonhart, why shouldn't I? Did it ever occur to you that I don't need your fucking pity or condescension? Did it ever occur to you how damn intrusive it is, how entitled your little bitch must be to believe I needed her to summon me a girlfriend?"

Cloud picked up his head and watched Seifer's anger rise like the coming tide. No, more like a hurricane. Seifer's anger would bear over them like a storm, and it was up to Squall to handle the fallout.

"Seifer," Squall growled.

Note: Squall was very protective of Rinoa. Good to know, if Cloud was going to be there for as long as it was beginning to look like.

Both of Seifer's hands, curled into fists, slammed into the table. Muscles jolted under his skin. Cloud found himself completely incapable of tearing his gaze away. "I can fucking take care of myself, you controlling little prick." Seifer's eyes flashed poisonous green. "I don't need your help or your bullshit pity."

Squall's own eyes blazed, and he opened his mouth to reply when a shrill voice interrupted.

"Would you just shut the fuck up for once, Seifer Almasy?"

All three men froze where they sat, staring in shock at Rinoa, who rose to her feet and slammed her own hands on the table, palms down. An ethereal breeze blew her hair around, though there was no wind in the room, and her eyes glowed inhumanly bright.

"Your stupid, pathetic pride is beginning to grate on my nerves," she snarled. The tone sounded unnatural, coming from such pert and oft-smiling lips. "We all know you can fight, okay? You don't need to prove it to anyone. But you aren't getting over your war guilt and every Hyne-damned one of us knows that too. You don't need to be alone."

"She's right," Squall said, though he glared into the distance in a way that made it clear his sharing was highly reluctant. "Do you think I could have made it through the war without the support of my friends?" Rinoa smiled at him, and it was like the sun had just appeared over the ocean after being shielded for months in darkness.

They both looked at Cloud, who looked back at them blankly. What, was he supposed to jump on this power of friendship bandwagon? It all seemed rather stupid to him. But when Rinoa frowned, he sighed and volunteered, "Companionship isn't the same thing as pity?"

Being assaulted on all sides like this wasn't going to help Seifer and Cloud knew it. He was a man of action, not words, and no amount of logic could convince him of something if he already had his mind set. But something had sunk in there, something he hadn't been willing to let himself believe before. His body language spoke of stubbornness and denial with his arms crossed over his chest and his face turned to the side, but his eyes reflected the inner confliction he would never let show.

Rinoa reached out to touch his shoulder and Cloud caught her hand and shook his head once. She sighed, but acquiesced, sitting back down.

Getting over grief and loneliness wasn't something that someone else could shove down your throat. Cloud knew more about this than perhaps anyone, and knew that only time and the company of those people who were precious to him were what broke him out of his daze. No amount of lecturing was going to make Seifer see that he was going about this the wrong way.

But maybe that was why Rinoa's spell had summoned him, Cloud realized. Because no one else could empathize with the self-inflicted alienation Seifer was experiencing, and no one would truly accept him after everything he had done. Squall, Squall came closest, but he believed in a 'well, that happened, now it's over' mentality, not understanding what it was like to drown in your own insecurities. And Squall didn't understand guilt, because he had no reason to feel guilty.

"Come," Cloud ordered Seifer, standing up. Seifer glanced over, confused. Cloud hefted the fusion swords meaningfully. "We're going to fight until you're too tired to breathe, much less speak. Then you can whine all you want."

Seifer's eyes brightened and he jumped up, hand leaping to Hyperion's hilt. "You know me so well," he crowed, leading Cloud to what he assumed was a training spot.

He glanced back and saw Rinoa and Squall gazing after them in partial frustration and partial amusement. They wanted to fix all of Seifer's problems by talking him through them logically, not grasping that picking and picking at the issue would only exacerbate it. Well, Seifer had been right to avoid coming back to Balamb for that reason.

They made it to the Training Center and Seifer tossed his duster to the side, coaxing with his free hand for Cloud to attack him while his other hand was white-knuckled around Hyperion's hilt. "Well? You gonna fix my problems, big guy?" He taunted.

"I'll give you some fucking problems, blondie," Cloud promised with an unhealthy amount of sadism as he jumped up and brought his blade down in a deadly slash.

x x x

Cloud had just laid a damp washcloth on Seifer's forehead when the taller man came to. "I have to hand it to you," Cloud murmured, "not many men have the balls to face off with me more than once. You are both brave and stupid."

"Truer words have never been spoken." Seifer croaked, attempting a smile. It was a little early for that and Cloud frowned disapprovingly, which only made his wavering smile grow.

Seifer hummed in discomfort, attempting to shift into a more restful position. As soon as he did, he gave a pained grunt and stopped moving.

"It's kind of like having you as a prisoner," Cloud observed, tugging on a lock of golden blond hair.

It took less than a second for Seifer to gain a lewd glint to his eye. "You do have me completely at your mercy," he admitted. "Whatcha gonna do with me?"

Cloud leaned down and kissed him smack on the lips.

Seifer emitted a strangled sound and strained to push back into the kiss, but was still too weak from having his energy sapped so thoroughly. Cloud chuckled against slack lips and deepened the kiss, licking into his mouth and stroking his tongue without hesitation.

"Hyne dammit," Seifer cursed, body shuddering slightly in his effort to move and return the embrace.

"This is oddly enjoyable," Cloud mentioned as he pulled away. He nuzzled up Seifer's neck and nipped his pulse point harder than he would have for any other person, and Seifer shuddered violently.

Seifer glared without any heat. "This is rape, you dick." He accused.

"I could stop," Cloud offered as he trailed his fingers under the hem of Seifer's vest, nails dragging on the sensitive skin there.

"Do and die," Seifer said instantly.

Cloud dug in harder with his fingernails and Seifer jerked under his hand. "I wouldn't be a very good girlfriend if I were dead," he pointed out.

"You're a horrible girlfriend anyway," Seifer shot back.

Was that supposed to be an insult? Honestly, Cloud was more than pleased about that one. "As you would well know, oh paragon of matrimonial reliability."

"Blow me," Seifer said, eyes narrowing.

"Alright," Cloud agreed easily, undoing the zipper of Seifer's slacks. Seifer choked on his own saliva as Cloud's mouth descended on his dick.

Really, Seifer didn't have nearly as many problems as Squall and Rinoa seemed to think he did. Or, even if he did, they just weren't treating him in the right way.

x x x

"How does one practice sending people to different worlds?" Seifer asked curiously. He had his chin resting on his palms as he watched the events unfold.

"I'll just reverse the spell," Rinoa said, snapping her fingers. "No problem!"

She lifted her hands towards Cloud, lips poised for speech.

Seifer almost fell out of his chair as he scrambled to stop her. "Fuck, Heartilly, slow down," he cried out, panicked. "Remember what happened the last time you tried to reverse a spell?"

Recognition lit up her gaze. "Oh yeah!" Her eyes dimmed. "I miss Maya."

Seifer nodded encouragingly. "And you miss her because she is now…"

"A liquid state of matter," Rinoa finished with a pout.

That wasn't exactly reassuring. Cloud inched over so he was half-hidden behind Seifer, who grinned at him in amusement.

"So let's try smaller things first." Seifer coached. "An article of clothing, or a piece of furniture or something."

A twitch of slender fingers, and a chair vanished, then popped back into existence ten feet away. "No problem!" She stated.

Seifer looked dubious. "Can you do that with living creatures?"

Another beckoning motion, and Squall appeared in the chair. He looked around then frowned at her. "Put me back. I was doing paperwork." She shrugged and complied.

"See, Seifer? I'm not worried."

Seifer did not look convinced. It occurred to Cloud that his motives for holding her back from sending him home were not entirely altruistic. But Seifer couldn't just ask him to stay longer. No, he needed to use manipulation and trickery for that. How unsurprising.

"Try bringing a shirt from his world," Seifer said with a tone of reluctance.

Rinoa smiled, triumph in her eyes, and spoke a variation of the spell that Cloud assumed had brought him there. A grand flourish of her hands, and a tangled mass of purple thread and zippers was in a pile on the ground.

It would be impossible to describe Seifer's tone as he said, "Is that your shirt, Strife?" Perhaps a strange mixture of resignation and smugness, amusement and exasperation.

Cloud prodded at it. "It's the right color," he said doubtfully.

So maybe Seifer was partly doing this out of altruism.

x x x

Sunlight reflected off of still water into Cloud's eyes and he winced. Still, he stared out the window, because it was a beautiful sight that was well worth the inconvenience. Watching the sunset over snowfields may have been lovely, but watching the sunrise over the endless ocean was grander by far.

Puffy clouds as pink as cotton candy decorated a sky that was only beginning to light up in shades of brilliant blue. Orange and yellow streaks fanned out from the tip of the sun, which was just peeking out of the skyline, staining the sea a brilliant aqua green. Cloud watched the ocean fly by underneath their airship and barely heard Seifer's voice as he said, "You look entranced."

"It's different," Cloud murmured. Seifer's world was leagues behind Gaia in terms of pollution; it was all crisp air and miles of untouched wilderness, while the vast population of Gaia was concentrated in cramped and ugly cities. There were of course the small mountain towns – Gongaga and Nibelheim came to mind – but even they didn't have portraits like these.

"It's pretty spectacular," Seifer agreed, though he seemed more absorbed by whatever he was thinking than the scenery outside.

Having Seifer's attention on him for the first time that day reminded Cloud that he had some questions for the enigmatic gunblader. "Where exactly are we going?"

"Fisherman's Horizon," Seifer supplied promptly, and offered no more information than that.

Cloud took Seifer's hand and started tracing meaningless designs into his palm with the edge of his fingernail. "And why exactly did we have to leave in the dead of night?"

Seifer squirmed and tried weakly to tug his hand away. "So Squall wouldn't know," he divulged, though unenthusiastically.

"And why didn't you want Squall to know?" The fingernail trailed up Seifer's wrist until it was under the sleeve of his duster, which Cloud had learned was an oddly erogenous point on Seifer's body.

Seifer's eyelids fluttered and his throat worked. "Because I know he would think I was running away," he rasped.

Cloud slid in close until their bodies were hilt-to-hilt and breathed in his ear, "And are you running away?"

Seifer's free hand closed on Cloud's wrist and he tugged it away. "Nope," he said simply.

That wasn't the answer he was anticipating. But then again, Seifer lied like breathing, so he couldn't trust anything that came out of his mouth. Cloud pulled away and took Seifer's chin between his thumb and forefinger to turn his face and meet his eyes, and Seifer made no effort to turn away.

"You're telling the truth," Cloud said, narrowing his eyes. There was no trace of dishonesty in those green depths.

"A novel concept, I'm sure," Seifer smirked. The expression faded as he hunched over so his elbows were braced on his knees. "He's kind of closed-minded about other people's coping mechanisms," he explained, albeit vaguely.

Cloud wasn't about to deny that. "Yes?"

"They're not helping anything back there with their constant hounding on me to fix myself," Seifer said, vocalizing Cloud's own thoughts about the fruitlessness of their attempts.

"No," Cloud agreed.

"And if they're right and what I need is human companionship to realize that my life is not the only one that matters and everything doesn't suck as much as it seems, it's not going to work in Garden because they're all blithering imbeciles and I only ever want to kill them."

Cloud blinked. That worked too. "So where are we headed?" As if he couldn't guess. In all his stories of the war, Seifer had only mentioned two people that made his calm veneer crack.

"Fisherman's Horizon," Seifer repeated enigmatically, though his sidelong glance said he knew what Cloud was thinking.

Well, that was well enough. Cloud had been wanting to meet Raijin and Fujin after everything he'd heard about them.

x x x

The coffee was perfect, Cloud said, and Fujin only nodded and went to catch up with Seifer on the dock. Raijin was already there with his fishing rod and a wetsuit, for whatever reason, Cloud couldn't guess.

What was it about Seifer, he wondered? Why did he enjoy spending time with the other blond so much?

It wasn't any of the clichés that kept spouting in his head (in Rinoa's voice, however that worked). He'd been happy before; Seifer wasn't unique in that regard. Seifer wasn't completing him, or anything corny like that. There was nothing different in his emotional state, not really. He was as withdrawn as he'd ever been, as prone to long periods of introspection.

It was just that… he never wanted anything else when he was with Seifer. Never wanted to be somewhere different, with someone different, doing something different. He could be gutting a fish with First Tsurugi and he'd be content, if Seifer were standing over his shoulder and laughing at the look on his face.

Was that wrong? He'd gotten over his guilt over Zack's death, or at least most of it, but this was such a different brand of guilt that it deserved a separate plane of thought entirely. He knew Zack wanted him to move on, had been told that by Zack's lips in some alien alternate world, but this was different.

Zack would forgive him for this, he knew. But could he forgive himself? Did he want to? Or was he just drowning himself in self-inflicted grief because he didn't know how else to react?

He'd been happy with Zack then. He would be happy with Zack now. He still grew saddened when he thought about him. He still missed him constantly. Was that enough? What else did he have to do, to show that Zack mattered to him?

Still, who was he trying to prove something to? This was only relevant to him, at this point. No one else cared. In that same vein, no one else could forgive him for this. It was up to him to forgive himself.

And he loved Zack, he did. He wasn't going to start comparing his feelings for Seifer to his feelings for anyone else, but he would never stop loving Zack, and wasn't that all that mattered? He didn't need to convince himself that Zack was important to him and always would be. It was simply a fact of his life, an irrefutable constant in his mind.

So fuck propriety, and fuck guilt. He had enough of that to deal with in his life, what with Seifer's still raw wounds of war and betrayal. He was stronger than this, and he was smarter than this.

He couldn't take back the part of his life that Zack was such a major feature of, and he didn't want to. He was partially defined by his stint of time as an infantryman, and dammit, but he wasn't ashamed of that. So this was just another phase of his life, and… he could handle that.

"Stop thinking so much, spiky, you're making the rest of us look bad," Seifer said as he picked up Cloud's mug and drained half of it in one gulp. He made a face, but kept his comments to himself.

"Squall did mention that you liked womanly amounts of sugar in your coffee," Cloud deadpanned.

"You are a terrible person and I hate you." Seifer shot back as he went to grab his own mug. He kept his back turned on Cloud as he added sugar, presumably because he didn't want to be mocked for it, but Cloud laughed quietly anyway.

At least he would never have to worry about comparing Seifer to Zack in his mind. Whatever anyone could say about either of them, they were one of a kind.

Cloud smiled into his mug as he took another sip.

x x x

"He won't break when you leave him, you know."

Cloud had to stare, because he hadn't realized the silver-haired woman could speak in full sentences. It was more of a shock than it should have been. Then the words actually sunk in, and he drew back. "I know that," he told her.

Fujin graced him with a soft smile. Cloud had a feeling he was one of very few people to ever have seen it. "Don't hold back just so you'll have less to lose later," she advised.

Cloud set his jaw. "I know that," he repeated. It was harder convincing himself of that one, but he consciously knew it to be sound guidance.

They watched Seifer wrestling with Raijin in the front yard, mud slicking their skin from head to foot. Seifer had been keeping his stubble short enough that his beard-tan was catching up with the rest of his face, and he looked so normal and happy that Cloud's heart ached a little.

Then Seifer twisted with a motion that spoke of years of honing skills on the battlefield, planted Raijin's face in the ground, and reached to his back for a blade that wasn't there. He blinked, realizing that he wasn't going to need to carve up his enemy's body to ensure that he was well and truly dead, then leapt on top of Raijin once more to force-feed him mud.

"People wonder why I followed Seifer for so long," Fujin said, also watching the tussle with fondness.

Cloud didn't look away from the window. "What do you tell them?"

"I don't," she replied plainly. "Anyone who has to ask doesn't deserve to know."

A test, then. Seeing if he really was as deserving of Seifer as they were all acting he was. Fortunately, he thought he could pass this one. "Seifer will never stop surprising you," he said. "There will never be a layer to him that doesn't have another layer underneath."

Fujin nodded. "I figured somewhere deep down, there must have been someone worth knowing. Too bad that ended up being false."

Cloud chuckled. Outside, Seifer was getting his hair washed with mud, and he flailed vainly at the large man holding him in a chokehold, tugging at the arm that was locked firmly around his neck.

Seifer was something more. He would always be something more.

Next to him, Fujin sighed and rolled up her sleeves. "DINNER," she announced, her voice reverting back to its flat tone.

Cloud went to help her prepare the meal. If Seifer was going to all the trouble of introducing him to his friends under the flimsy excuse of wanting to see them himself, Cloud figured he may as well show himself to be someone worth knowing.

x x x

The bedroom window was open, curtains fluttering with the cool breeze that was being let inside. Bare skin tingled as sweat cooled on Cloud's back and he curled into Seifer, languidly pleased about the casual caress of Seifer's fingers running up and down his back.

"All we do is have sex," he mumbled after the silence had settled a little too deep.

His pillow, otherwise known as Seifer's chest, rumbled with quiet laughter. "That's not true. Sometimes we fight."

Cloud had to concede that one. "You know what I mean," he said.

Seifer stretched. "Yeah, so? I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing."

"It can't be healthy from a purely biological standpoint, much less mental," Cloud deadpanned.

"Yes, well, sex is fun," Seifer pointed out as if this should be news to Cloud. "Also, you can't tell me I'm obnoxious or imbecilic during sex."

"That sounds like a challenge to me," Cloud smirked.

Seifer instinctively covered his groin with his hands. "Spiky, I adore you, but if you try to make me hot after the marathon session we just had, it will only embarrass us both."

Cloud had to concede this one too. "My point stands," he said.

"And I maintain that you're dead wrong," Seifer yawned. "We do plenty of things other than sex."

Cooking didn't count, Cloud thought to himself. Besides, their version of cooking bled over into fighting, so the two hobbies only counted as one point on that scoreboard. Their last attempt at making dinner had ended with Seifer doubled over on the ground gasping in pain and clutching his stomach while flour slowly settled to the ground around them like falling snow. Come to think of it, the time before that had ended with Cloud being pressed against the refrigerator as Seifer fucked into him from behind. He still had bruises on his shoulders shaped like Seifer's teeth. So cooking really couldn't count as a separate activity.

Then there was the socializing thing. For some reason, Rinoa had decided that Seifer needed to spend more time with the orphanage crowd, so he was bullied into hanging out with them at least three nights a week. Cloud went along as damage control. Every time someone said something that ticked off Seifer to the extent that he opened his mouth to verbally assault them for it, Cloud would mutter something snide and mocking, so quietly that only Seifer could hear it. Seifer would laugh, every time, and the tense mood would dissolve into a more comfortable atmosphere once more. Cloud basically kept up a running commentary on nights where Zell was present, but he didn't mind. It had been a while since he'd been celebrated for his sarcastic nature instead of chided for it, and damn, but he had missed it. But that didn't count. There was nothing productive about socializing.

Every so often Cloud would find Seifer in Balamb Garden's library, hunkered down studying medical textbooks like his life depended on it. Cloud had the half-formed idea that Seifer wanted to learn medicine as a way of atoning for his war crimes, but he didn't ask and Seifer didn't offer any information. Cloud would find his own books to read, and they would sit quietly, heads bent together. About half the time, Cloud would end up leaning against Seifer's side with Seifer's arm wrapped around his torso. The other half, Seifer would rest his head on Cloud's thighs and hold the book in the air over his face as Cloud absently stroked his hair.

And there was absolutely nothing productive about day trips to the beach, or bets about who could steal the most wallets before getting caught for it, or pie-eating competitions between Seifer and Zell that Cloud was made to referee, or watching movies together, or getting roped into babysitting at the Garden daycare center, or daylong ping-pong tournaments, or competitive games of strip poker with the orphanage crowd, or any of the other useless activities that made up Seifer's and Cloud's days.

Still, Cloud couldn't argue the fact that Seifer was technically correct. They did activities other than sex. Just, none of them had any function. And that was stupid.

"You still need to get a job," Cloud ended up saying instead of admitting that maybe they did a few things together other than fuck.

Seifer smirked at the unspoken concession, but let him change the subject without calling him out on it. "Aw, darling, I thought you liked that I'm on welfare checks. You always said as long as I pursued my dreams you'd be proud of me."

Welfare checks was a slight exaggeration, as Seifer was living off of money he'd made during and after the war on odd jobs and freelance mercenary work. Still, Cloud wasn't going to mention that.

"I never said that," Cloud said instead. "Also, what dreams?"

"My dream of doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and fucking hot chicks," Seifer replied promptly.

Cloud looked down. "You did admirably at fulfilling that," he said in a monotone.

"I like to think so, yeah," Seifer grinned, hand sliding down to grope Cloud's ass shamelessly.

Cloud learned right then that Seifer was ticklish. Amazing, how he could do nothing productive all day and still have realizations that made his life so much easier. And much more enjoyable.

And he wasn't about to complain about that, he thought as he ruthlessly dug his fingers into Seifer's sides until the gunblader had tears streaming down his face from laughter.

x x x

There was something disturbing about seeing Seifer's lips formed in a pout. So often seen in a sneer or a smirk, his mouth was his method of expressing his emotions, and grumpiness and petulance weren't suited to his normally aggressive demeanor. But there were absolutely things that could make Seifer pout, and it was always rather hilarious when it happened.

Case in point: "Isn't this clean enough?" Seifer asked, a hint of a whine in the back of his throat.

"No," Cloud answered without opening his eyes. "Keep going."

"You're the meanest," Seifer professed with no small amount of sulkiness. There was a sound of rustling clothing as he started on the piles of dirty clothing that were spread across the floor.

Cloud smiled slightly. "The meanest what?"

"Huh?"

Cloud opened his eyes to watch Seifer as he puttered around the room. "I'm the meanest what?"

"The meanest… person?" Seifer tried as he tossed empty water bottles into a trash bag.

"Those should be recycled. Am I really worse than Ultimecia?" Cloud asked.

Seifer sighed long-sufferingly and went into the hallway to get the recycling bin. "Fine. The meanest man."

Cloud frowned. "I know you haven't actually met Sephiroth, but…"

Seifer cut him off before he could finish the sentence with the exclamation, "Fine! The meanest chocobo." He made a disgruntled face.

"Where did you get that scar again?" Cloud pointed to the scar on Seifer's leg that spanned from his knee to his ankle. Apparently, a "demon chocobo" had "viciously assaulted" Seifer when he was younger, but Cloud had never gotten a chance to hear the whole story because he always started laughing halfway through and then Seifer would be too offended to finish it.

"For Shiva's sake," Seifer cried out before tackling Cloud, who laughed until his lips were occupied, and even a bit after. He found himself abruptly pinned down, wrists manacled by Seifer's hand above his head, and he kissed back for long, drunken minutes before squirming around until he had the freedom of movement to drive his knee into Seifer's diaphragm.

This was fun, he thought, and Seifer rolled off him with a pained grunt. He stared at Cloud with such betrayal in his eyes that the soldier almost had to feel bad.

"Clean," Cloud growled, pointing at the still-messy room.

"You're an evil witch, too cruel for my poor soul," Seifer said dramatically, placing the back of his hand against his forehead in a theatrical expression of dejection.

Cloud kicked him all the way off the bed, and Seifer hit the ground with a dull thump and a curse. He got up, glaring, and went back to cleaning. Cloud sprawled out again, one leg extended and one bent at the knee. At first, he tried tucking both hands behind his head, but he felt too exposed like that. He ended up with one hand above his head and the other rested on his abs. This was better. He could fall asleep like this. Probably would.

The sound of Seifer cleaning faded into the background, and Cloud lounged in a state of leisurely contentment, warm and comfortable in the patch of sunshine that was inching across the bed by the minute. He had the thin cotton sheet drawn up to his waist to keep the breeze off of particularly sensitive areas, and his hair fluttered in the light wind that blew through the bedroom. It was… nice. It was easy.

A clicking sound and a flash later, and Cloud jerked up, disrupted from his peaceful doze. He glared at the black camera still held in Seifer's hands.

"It was a good shot," Seifer said unrepentantly.

"Go talk to a wall," Cloud muttered.

Seifer stared at him, aghast. "You've been talking to Squall," he accused.

"I do that sometimes, yes," Cloud said, then raised his hand and crooked a finger at Seifer.

"It's clean enough?" Seifer asked, then dropped the camera, jumped onto the bed and straddled Cloud's waist before he had time to answer. A stubbly jaw was buried in the crook of his neck as Seifer nipped at his exposed skin.

Cloud let Seifer think he was in control for just long enough to lull him into a false sense of security. Then he pounced.

First locking his knees around Seifer's waist for grip, Cloud flipped the pair over so he was on top. Seifer looked at him curiously but allowed him his moment of control. That was his first mistake. Cloud ducked his head and licked a stripe up Seifer's abs, and Seifer cussed under his breath and let him. Then nimble fingers caught on Seifer's vest hem and pulled up, and Seifer didn't consider the fact that it would be easier to unzip it than pull it all the way over his head. Second mistake.

Cloud tugged the vest up to Seifer's wrists, above his head, then twisted and tangled them so they formed makeshift handcuffs. While Seifer was still staring at them in confusion, he slid Seifer's belt out of its loops. Seifer, realizing what was about to go down, tried to jerk away, but Cloud proved to be quicker and stronger, especially given his vantage point. Minutes of wrestling passed and found Seifer's hands tied to the headboard, rendering him effectively immobile.

The wide-eyed bewilderment only lasted for another moment on Seifer's face. Then a wicked grin slowly bloomed. "Didn't know you were into bondage, spiky," he drawled. "Wishing I had picked up on that a lot sooner."

"Uh huh," Cloud agreed blithely. He hopped off the bed and picked up the camera from the ground.

Seifer finally realized what he was doing. "Hey, stop," he demanded, straining futilely against his bonds.

Ignoring him was just as easy as it had ever been. Fully intending to delete the offending photo, Cloud turned on the display screen and went still as the picture of him came into focus. All he could think was… It really was a good shot.

He was in that same position on the bed, one hand above his head and the other on his chest, with the sheet at his waist preserving his modesty just enough to keep the picture from being outright pornographic. Shadows from the curtains carved dark spots in his face, contrasting beautifully with the sunshine-white of the pillows and sheets around him. Still, there was a balance, a tranquility, that transformed his face from merely human to a species closer to the divine.

"You should be a photographer," he said in a tone of hushed reverence. There was no way he was that attractive in real life. Whatever Seifer had done, he'd done with more skill than Cloud had ever known human fingers to possess.

Seifer stayed silent for a moment. Then he laughed, a bit shy, a bit lecherous. "Me? Oh, spiky. That wasn't me. I just took the picture. The image was there all along."

There wasn't anything Cloud could say in response to that. There simply weren't words that could illustrate the feeling of fireworks going off in his chest. All he could do was turn off the camera and go back to join Seifer on the bed.

He left the handcuffs on, of course.

x x x

Seifer had Cloud hoisted up on the kitchen counter of their Balamb apartment. He was deftly maneuvered between the soldier's legs and had his hands full of Cloud's hips and his lips full of Cloud's neck. Cloud growled, fingers digging into Seifer's scalp as the jackass left a string of hickeys from his jaw to his collarbone. Still, he wasn't moving away. Quite the opposite, in fact – he bared his neck for the taller blond to do what he wanted with.

Then the doorbell rang. Even the ever-composed Cloud nearly snarled at the interruption, and Seifer stalked to the door with murderous intent clear in his frame.

"What." He snapped, flinging open the door.

Even from two rooms away, Cloud could see the mailman turn pale with fright. "P-package for S-Seifer Almas-sy," he stammered, shaking so badly he nearly dropped the package as he handed it over.

Seifer's frame loosened as the rage filtered out of his system. Cloud rolled his eyes, reluctantly amused. Seifer was such a sucker for the mortal fear of others. He reveled in the terror that they practically reeked of whenever they saw him, the esteemed Sorceress Knight – though failure that Cloud knew he believed himself to be.

Seifer signed for the package and took it curiously. "What's this?" He asked, tearing open the wrapping to find a note and a black cell phone inside. Cloud hopped off the counter and went to inspect his findings. The note only said, the most recent attempt in Squall's neat, spiky script.

Cloud took the phone from him and walked to the living room for better light to see it by. All thoughts died in his mind and he was left staring blankly at the device in his hands. It was his phone from home; there was no mistaking the scratch Denzel had left by putting the phone in the same pocket as his keys, or the residual nail polish that wouldn't come off from the time Marlene had broken a bottle of it while she was playing dress-up with Cloud's and Tifa's clothes.

Too many emotions swirled around inside his mind, refusing to settle down and let him choose just one. This was… It was good, bad, awesome, terrible, everything in between. Without seeming to realize it, Cloud's fingers dialed a series of numbers that led to the automated voice telling him he had 50 messages. Seifer had come up beside him, a silent specter. Cloud couldn't decide whether he was thankful for his presence, or wished fervently that he would leave before either of them got hurt in this fallout.

Cloud, I need you to pick up some icing from the store. It's Barret's birthday tomorrow, and Marlene wants to bake him a cake. Call me back.

Hey, chocobo-head. Cid here. What are you getting the big guy for his birthday? I need some ideas. Call back.

Cloud! Denzel said to tell you you're late and I want chocolate icing because you know he's allergic to nuts. Tifa says give back her phone. Oh wait.

Where are you? Marlene is starting to get worried.

Call me back when you get this. I'm starting to get worried.

It's me, Barret. Don't tell me you're skipping out on my birthday party. That would be cold even for you. Hurry up and come to the party, it's too social here without you.

Surprise! It's still me, Yuffie! What are you doing, you big doofus? We're all waiting for you to blow out the candles.

I'm worried, Cloud. We're all worried. When will you learn to answer your phone, just to keep from getting this kind of message from me?

And so on, and so forth. The messages grew increasingly anxious until the most recent ones were just the sounds of breathing and choked back tears. Then they cut off abruptly, and Cloud had to assume his voicemail capacity was full.

Cloud dropped to one knee, still staring at the phone he held clenched tight in his hand. So many thoughts he'd been trying to deny, fears he'd been pushing away, came rushing in all at once in a dizzying flood of panic and dismay.

He couldn't pretend anymore. He had a home to get back to. He had people there who were waiting for him.

Heavy footsteps sounded right next to him. When he looked up, Seifer was already ten steps away, his tense muscles visible through even the heavy fabric of his duster. Yes, Cloud thought, looking down at his phone.

Seifer knew it just as well as he did. It was time to go home.

x x x

The trip to Balamb Garden was silent. Somehow, Cloud wasn't surprised.

They made it all the way to the elevator before Seifer snapped and grabbed Cloud's wrist between uncomfortably tight fingers. Cloud shot him an affectionate glance and didn't tug away. Seifer really must not have cared about issues of vanity, if he was willing to hold hands with Cloud past all the staring they were getting from the students of Balamb Garden.

They found Rinoa and Squall in his office. Squall stood up from his desk at the look on Seifer's face, and Rinoa put down her book from her place on the couch.

"I need to go home," Cloud said quietly.

Rinoa bit her lip. "I still don't know how," she said, equally softly. "I've never tried with living creatures. I can barely manage with inanimate objects. I… I need more time."

Cloud took a deep breath. "No," he said, frowning.

"No?" Squall echoed, raising one eyebrow.

There was only one reason Rinoa wasn't able to do it, even if she didn't know what it was. His hesitation was the only thing keeping him from going home. And he wasn't allowing himself that weakness, that restrictive desire, any longer.

He walked up to Rinoa and took her hands between his. "I need to go home, Rinoa," he told her, meeting her eyes dead-on. He poured all of his longing and certainty, his regret and his sorrow, into the words.

She hitched a breath, then closed her eyes and whispered, "Ok." Then, stronger. "Ok. I can do this."

"Are you sure?" Squall asked skeptically.

"Yes," she said with uncharacteristic firmness, opening her eyes again. A diamond resolve had developed in them. "I can send you home, Cloud."

They all looked at Seifer. It was he who had the least faith in Rinoa's abilities, and it was he who they would allow to make the final call.

Seifer pushed off of the wall he'd been leaning against and saluted them lazily. "Don't miss me too much when you're gone, spiky," he told Cloud. His voice was firm, but his eyes were unbearably soft as they gazed at Cloud for one last moment.

"Seifer…" Rinoa murmured. Doubtless she felt guilty about bringing Cloud into his life only to have him taken away. It wasn't her intention, certainly, when she had cast the spell that brought him there. Cloud wondered absently if it had ended up doing Seifer more harm than good in the end.

No, he decided. That smile was new, he was sure of it. Seifer had never looked at anyone like that before.

"Nice meeting you, Strife," Seifer said with a tone of very obviously false bravado. He stuck his hand out to shake.

Cloud only shot him an unimpressed look.

"Fine," Seifer said with an eye roll, reaching out to grab Cloud and tuck him under his neck, enfolding him in muscled arms so tightly it felt like he was going to fuse into Seifer, like they'd become one unit.

Cloud wrapped his arms around Seifer's neck and held on just as tightly. He never had been good with goodbyes, he realized. Never would be. At the moment, that seemed the only healthy way to be.

Seifer pulled back in order to lay a kiss on him that threatened to make his knees buckle, and Cloud ached with yearning and distress and pure unadulterated lust. It either lasted forever or nowhere near long enough; Cloud's mind was too fuzzy to be able to tell.

All too soon, Seifer pulled away with a shy, sad smile. "It was… worthwhile knowing you, Cloud."

Cloud took a deep breath. "I'll see you in another life, Seifer," he assured the man quietly. Then he turned and walked to Rinoa, taking the hand she offered him and purposefully avoiding her crestfallen gaze.

Fortunately, there was no long pause, no arduous wait while his body prepared to subvert time and space to get back home. All it took was a flash and a tingling sensation that shot from his head to his feet. Then he was buckled over outside Seventh Heaven, and Tifa and Marlene were barreling outside to pull him into rib-cracking hugs and shriek about where he'd been, and if he was okay, and if he had gotten their messages, and how he'd gotten back, and he just laughed because…

If only they knew.

x x x

Epilogue:

Cloud trudged into Merlin's house to the sounds of cheerful conversation and the clinking of silverware on serving platters. His mood was blacker than the coal he was undoubtedly getting in his stocking this year for ditching Aerith on her birthday yet again. But he could sense Sephiroth, he could feel his aura somewhere close.

Nothing, though. Weeks of searching, and… nothing.

Raindrops scattered across the room as he stripped off his overcoat and boots. He put his hands on his hair and ruffled it wildly, sending water spraying everywhere, and wiped the droplets of water from his face with the back of his hand.

He looked up and found Leon leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest. "No luck?" He asked. The lack of judgment in his voice made feel Cloud feel more shame than the bitterest recriminations would have from anyone else. He didn't understand what he'd ever done to deserve the friends he had.

"None," Cloud confirmed lowly. "He's gone."

Leon didn't say anything.

"I know what you're thinking," Cloud said, unable to keep a hint of snideness from his voice even though he knew damn well he had no right to be bitchy.

That prompted a startled laugh from the taciturn gunblader. "Impressive. I couldn't guess my own thoughts myself."

"You think I'm looking for my light the wrong way," Cloud said, ignoring his teasing. "You think I'm hunting the darkness instead of seeking out the light."

Leon didn't deny the accusation. "I guess I don't understand how you expect to find your light when you have no idea what you're searching for," he said mildly.

"That's the point of searching." Cloud muttered. He sounded like a four year old who'd had his candy stolen. He was too tired for to be mortified at this fact. "I'll know it when I see it."

Leon made a noise that simply screamed of skepticism and began to lead him inside. "Oh, hey, we have a visitor," he tossed over his shoulder.

Cloud couldn't muster anything more than vague, mostly-apathetic curiosity. "Yeah?"

"He's obnoxious, but eager to learn," Leon remarked with a frown. "A little too ambitious for my tastes. Somehow he roped me into teaching him to fight with a gunblade. I already regret it."

Sounded about right. Leon always pretended he had no compassion left in him, then would devote weeks of his life to doing stupid things just to help others. Cloud thought it was rather adorable how stubbornly he resisted admitting that he cared about everyone and everything.

They entered the kitchen to find the normal tumult of dinner going on, Cid telling a raucous story on one end of the table while Yuffie and some blond kid argued over who deserved the last dumpling more. Then Yuffie looked up and grinned. "Cloud!" She beamed. The kid turned his head and Yuffie nabbed the dumpling, popping the whole thing into her mouth with an impish grin before the kid could protest.

"Sneaky bitch," the kid grumbled, though not without a smile.

"Hello, Cloud. Shall I prepare you a plate?" Aerith asked as she passed by him with a load of dirty dishes.

He smiled, unable to hold back the expression at the familiarity of the scene. "I already ate," he told her. "But thanks."

"Hey, brat," Cid greeted him. "Have a fun vacation?"

Cloud pulled up a chair and sank into it gratefully. "If we traded stories every time one of us took a vacation, you'd have something new to tell me every day," he said around a yawn. A bed would be nice right about now. That, or a hot shower.

"Fucking cocksucker," Cid said cheerfully, tipping his mug of beer at Cloud in a salute before chugging a good half of it.

An amused laugh sounded from the other end of the table, and Cloud looked up and met the eyes of the stranger for the first time that night. Eyes like shards of sea-glass stared back at him, a slice across the bridge of his nose splitting his face into halves. A proud expression, too proud by far, was made clear by the determined set to a strong – if baby-soft – jaw. Platinum blond spikes of hair peeked out from under the rim of a black skullcap, and – and there was nothing more beautiful Cloud had ever seen in his life.

The boy clearly was just as captivated as he; he gaped at Cloud with wide green eyes for a long moment before controlling his features and forcing his lips into a smirk. "I've never seen a human-chocobo hybrid before," he teased. "Must be hard around mating seasons when all of the eligible females are hot for your body."

"Seifer!" He heard Aerith scold, but the tone didn't register in his mind. Only the name mattered.

Seifer. Sei-fer. Cloud closed his eyes and let the sound wash over him, imagined himself saying it with the curl of his tongue on his front teeth. Imagined Seifer saying his own name that way. Imagined a lot of things, right there at the dinner table with all his friends around and a boy with eyes like poison sitting there watching him.

"Isn't it funny how we always seem to find what we're looking for without searching?" Cloud murmured, though he wasn't sure to whom it was directed. Or where it had come from, for that matter.

A moot point, as only Seifer appeared to hear him. "I think that the fruitless search is part of the point," he replied equally quietly. "Or else, how would you appreciate it once you've finally got it back?"

Cloud smiled, and Seifer smiled back: a shy, soft, hidden smile, meant for his eyes alone.

For the first time in a long while, Cloud was looking forward to seeing the light of the new day over the horizon.