Author's Note: This is titled after my favorite Paul Westerberg song. It's just one of my favorite songs, lyrics and all. *When you see an italic-ed theme word, you're reading one by Pointy-ears!

Note from pointy-ears: Levim was sweet enough to let me write a few of these, aaahgod, so fun. Thanks sweetheart, you da bomb3

Hero

You couldn't have a hero without any one to save. And boy, did Dexter Douglas sometimes need saving. Freakazoid was okay with that. Provided HE did the saving and the danger wasn't TOO bad.

Memory

"Dexter, calm down, it's me-"

"Who-who are you! Get back!" Freak watched with surprise as his human half crawled back from him, shock and fear emanating off him in waves.

"Dexter! It's me! Freakazoid! Don't…don't you remember?" he held his arms out pleadingly, willing for a look of comprehension to dawn on his human's face.

Shaking his head so hard his glasses toppled sideways, the scrawny geek trembled harder, and Freak's heart broke.

Box

Dexter walked into the Freakazone to see the couch gone and in its place, a massive fort made entirely out of cardboard boxes. He took a long hard look at the superhero in side it playing Fort Castle before sighing, shaking his head, and walking back out.

Run

"Dex, Dex run—I can hold them off, just get out of here, go, go!"

A desperate cry was his only reply, a tear-filled exclamation of "No! I won't leave you!"

Hurricane

Washington D.C. once got the tail end of a tornado because of some villain weirder than Freakazoid. (Evil weird, not awesome weird like he was, mind you.) It wasn't the devastation the Douglas' garage from a fallen tree that scared Freakazoid the most. It wasn't that the police station suffered damage and Cosgrove needed stitches over his left eye because Freak wasn't there to catch falling debris.

It was that, as all this went on, Freakazoid had to settle Dexter in the Freakazone and leave him, to take control of their body as he went out and did hero-things, putting both their bodies at risk and leaving Dexter all alone inside his own head.

No one should be alone during a hurricane.

Wings

When Dexter smiles, when they laugh at some inside joke, and when they're just simply NEAR each other, try convincing Freakazoid his heart's not soaring. Go ahead, I dare you.

Cold

Little known fact: The Freakazone didn't have a heater or air conditioning, because it never got cold or hot. It was always what Freak called Just Right.

'Just Right,' Dexter decided as he curled up on the couch next his alter ego with a protective arm wrapped around his waist, was very properly named.

Red

The color of Freak's suit. Dexter's favorite color, tied with blue. The shade the geek's face turned when Freak whispered insanely dirty things over their link during class when Dexter had to fight to keep a straight face.

Drink

Roddy had been the one to say he didn't think it was possible to get Freakazoid drunk. Dexter heard "Try and get Freakazoid smashed out of his, (or was it their's?) mind." Challenge. Accepted.

Freakazoid: 1

The 27 various alcoholic beverages Dex gave him: 0

Midnight

Sometimes Dexter was lucky enough to get into bed before this time. Every other time, however, was a different story.

(Dexxy for the love of applesauce it's 3 am, go to sleep! You have school in like, four hours!)

(….Freakazoid what time is it in England?)

(It's exactly 5:45:04 am in England why-)

(See it's already morning THERE why go to bed here when I can just stay up?)

(…OH I see what you did there, sneaky Dexter.)

Temptation

(C'mon Dexxy, you know you wanna~) Freakazoid sing-songed in the back of their shared mind. He was safe from the look on Dex's face but he could not escape the single thought of indignant anger sent at him that went a little something like this:

(For the last time we are not doing anything in the library, I don't care WHAT you saw on that website!)

Freakazoid cackled. Hey, can't blame a guy for trying.

View

"The view from up here sure is nice." Dexter mumbled, staring up into the midnight sky and looking for his favorite constellations. Freakazoid, who hadn't torn his gaze from the boy all night smiled sappily and found himself answering with a soft "Sure is."

Music

(Ohmygosh Dexter they have record players here!) Freak gushed, eyes wide.

Dexter chuckled. (It is an antique store…) Freak had little sense of time when it came to stuff like this, the internet was always growing and developing and by association, so was the Freakazoid. Time and things that happened got filed away and sometimes forgotten. Currently Freakazoid was encased safely inside Dexter's head, but he was peering out excitedly through his human's eyes from the Freakazone.

(Gosh this stuff has to be older than me! Lookit all this music!)

(Says the guy who has millions of music files stored inside him because of the internet…)

Silk

"Hey Dexxy, can I get poetic for a second?" "…sure?" "You're skin's a white as the moon and as soft as silk!"

"Oh my god okay never get poetic again Freakazoid."

Cover

Under the blankets with Freak was, in Dexter's opinion, the best place to be on the whole planet.

Promise

"Promise…Dexter, promise I can stay?"

"As long as you promise to never leave."

Freakazoid doesn't even have to process his reply, it just comes out, an instant, "Deal."

Dream

Freak slept sprawled out ridiculously, blankets wrapped around him and tangled around his long limbs. Dexter would chuckle and lie up next to him, watching sometimes as Freak twitched slightly, obviously dreaming.

Dexter bit his lip and closed his eyes and listened in, trying to get a glimpse of what Freak was dreaming of.

He couldn't make out much, but... there was a cake, and a lot of flowers and inexplicably, a herd of spiny anteaters.

And then he realized it's a wedding.

He yanked himself back out of Freak's mind before he could find out who was actually getting married, because he had an idea, and didn't want to break his own heart thinking of what could never happen.

Candle (from my 404 Error universe, wherein Freak is split from Dexter, and powerless)

"I swear to all that is holy and the color purple Dexxy, do NOT under any circumstances, say his name, okay!"

"Freakazoid this is the fifth time you've told me."

"Yes, but I just want to make sure, because saying Candlejack's name is like, one of the-"

Dexter stopped cold and whispered into the darkness. "…F-Freak?"

Dexter sighed softly, pinched the bridge of his nose and headed off deeper into the woods, ready to go kick some Boogie-Man butt for taking his best friend. Oh how the tides may change.

Talent

When Freak found out that Dexter could hook his heels over his own shoulders, he let out a high-pitched squeak and his thoughts basically went to ridiculously acrobatic, ridiculously filthy places.

Silence

They didn't need to speak at all, anymore. That was okay. Years of being together had honed their nonverbal skills to perfection. Actions spoke louder than words anyway, didn't they?

Journey

It was a long and harrowing journey for them both, but if it had been a journey each of them had to do separately, then neither of them would have ever had a chance. They worked together and they couldn't stop now, not after how far they'd come.

Fire

Freakazoid couldn't control fire—but when he was mad enough he could create it. And that was just as disastrous, Dexter decided, if not more.

Strength

One was the protector, and the other was the voice of reason. But Roddy said they had strength because of each other, not because of what each of them could do.

Mask

(Aww, nut bunnies!) Dexter glanced up from his textbook as a plaintive whine came from Freakazoid's side of their shared link.

"What's wrong Freakazoid?" He was home alone in his room like usual, it was on instinct he spoke aloud and to seemingly nothing.

(I can't find my mask! Now people will know it's me!) A voice echoed from the small geek's ears.

"Freakazoid, you're blue, your suit's bright red, your hair sticks up and has streaks of white in it-I don't think a mask will help your secret identity in comparison that that stuff. Besides, your secret identity is ME!"

The world was quiet for a moment, considering Dexter's words. Then, (Maybe you should start wearing a mask, too.)

"Oh for the love of-"

Ice

Watching the internet freeze his best friend and superhero inside a block of ice-like data was more real and more terrifying than any video game Dexter had seen on his computer screen. And God, the worst part was there wasn't an undo button to what was happening.

Fall

The problem with being a hero, Dexter decided, was the same old adage as it was to everything else that was powerful.

And as he clutches the broken and unconscious Freakazoid, trying to fend back the computer eating virus that had already taken several chunks out of him while Freak was protecting Dexter, the only thing that comes to mind is the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Forgotten

There were a lot of things wrong with the Freakazoid just because it was his nature to be short-attention spanned and forgetful; but memory loss of Dexter and what he was to the superhero was not one of them.

Dance

Before the shy geek could protest, his alter ego had grabbed him and was spinning him round and round, beaming down at him and anchoring Dex to his chest with a strong arm.

As Freakazoid danced, Dexter had no choice but to stumble along behind.

Body

Their bodies and mind fit together like seamless puzzle pieces, whether by design or by chance, Dexter was never really sure. He was only grateful for it.

Sacred

Dex?

Y-yeah?

Those people are weenies. Don't listen to them. You're worth way more than they are, and trust me, I know. I've looked on E-Bay for someone as delicious as you and it's just not possible.

…Thanks, Freakazoid.

Farewells

"So…" Freakazoid stood before the gaping hole.

Dexter nodded, staring intently into the screen, throat to tight to speak at the sight before him.

"I guess…this is goodbye?" Freakazoid turned to stare into the black hole-if he didn't go in soon it would inhale the internet and crush the world. He could stop it; he was the best firewall the world had. But this was a kamikaze mission if there ever was one. He wouldn't survive. That was why he'd insisted to go alone, leaving Dexter behind, sitting helpless in his computer chair and clutching his cat.

"N-no. not good bye." The blue hero turned to look over his shoulder, to see Dexter, his fingers poised over the delete key, the long string of familiar code already flashing between them. Freak stared at his other half for a moment longer, a soft smile on his lips. This could work.

"Then instead of just good bye, I'll say: so long."

And his human half nodded seriously. "So long, Freakazoid."

World

(It's a small world after alllllllll, it's a small—)

(Freakazoid you are my best friend on this planet and possibly the greatest thing in my life. But if I hear one more word from you and it's not because you're on the verge of death or some other emergency while I'm trying to study then so help me, by the power of Bill Gates I'm going to stick my finger into an outlet on the wall and kill us both.)

Silence.

Then quiet, faint, humming in the back of his mind started up absentmindedly.

Dexter Douglas lowered his head into his text book and cried manly tears.

Fever

Freakazoid paced the Freakazone as Dexter lay in his bed in the real world, his fever over one hundred and two.

One hundred and two point four, and climbing. Freakazoid's high wired brain kept reminding him.

The problem was Dex was having fever dreams, more like fever nightmares. Twice already Dexter had mumbled the words "Freak out" through dry lips, tears clinging to the boy's lashes as he begged for his alter ego to take over and chase the 'enemies' away.

And every time the fretting superhero would hear his little human say those words he'd become more unsettled and frantic, his body buzzing from the frequency zooming through his veins.

Laugh

Dexter's laugh was music to Freakazoid's ears, and was like a thousand of the best orchestras in the world combined with some really nice birds singing.

Lies

"You said you'd never lie!" Dexter shouted, voice hoarse as tears started dripping.

"You'd said you'd let me protect you! What was I supposed to do!"

"Well lying about it was one thing you SHOULDN'T have done Freakazoid!"

Forever

Freakazoid was, by rule, a computer flaw, and therefore pretty much immortal. Dexter, being only the body to house said insane flaw, wasn't. So when Dexter's time came, Freak would automatically be forced to shape up and ship out.

Freakazoid had forever. Dexter…didn't. Freakazoid sometimes liked to pretend that they did anyway. It made it hurt less.

Overwhelmed

Freak arched his back hard and the doors to their mental link blew off their damn hinges, blasts of color and sharp electric energy flowing openly between their minds at the speed of light.

Whisper

Freakazoid's normal voice volume was outside level, but Dexter, who was sometimes so shy and withdrawn that he spoke in whispers, was somehow the one that got Freak speaking in the same hushed tones, his voice deep and soothing to his Dexxy when it counted.

Wait

"Freakazoid! Wait, p-please, wa—" The Freakazone's mental door slammed shut, locked, and all Dexter heard in his mind, for the first time since he'd pressed that Delete key so many years ago on Christmas Day….was silence.

And that hurt more than screaming ever could.

Talk

Freakazoid talked, he LOVED to talk. Dexter liked to listen, and he LOVED to listen to Freakazoid.

Search (from my 404 Error universe, wherein Freak is split from Dexter, and powerless)

For the suddenly powerless Freakazoid, being near Dexter was like having great Wi-Fi, and for all the kids of the internet age, you know exactly what that means. Things were fast, fun, and hours were spent doing pretty much nothing.

Hope

Gutierrez stood over Freakazoid, the older man's boot digging into his chest as Freak wheezed and struggled, his throes getting weaker and weaker…

"What I don't understand dear Freakazoid, is WHY you keep fighting when the boy is clearly gone,"

Through his tunnel vision, Freakazoid turned to stare at the unmoving form not five feet away, and Freak's teeth clenched, electricity gathering in his tightened fists.

Something in the air snapped when Freak saw those thin typists fingers twitch from so far away, and a manic grin split across the superhero's face as Freakazoid whipped his gaze up to the villain. When he spoke, his gaze was fiery and fierce.

"Hope, you big weenie!"

Eclipse

As Dexter watched the special anomaly cover the moon for a few precious seconds, his eyes wide behind his lenses and fingers gripping the roof they were perched on, because oh, this was beautiful, this was amazing, this was so worth watching and…Freakazoid watched Dexter, for the whole thing.

Gravity

The Freakazoid lived by few rules, and even though he could run fast along the ground and appear to zoom above the earth a couple of feet…gravitational pull still affected him.

So when Dexter Douglas was pushed off the back of the high rise bleachers by some grade A weenies as a prank, not even Freakazoid could save him from such a fall. That didn't stop Freakazoid from taking over Dexter's voice, YELLING the words 'Freak out' and colliding his more resilient super powered body into the ground instead of Dexter's.

Needless to say, the bullies were more than a little startled when Washington's superhero whirled up behind them with all the speed, and devastating anger, of lightning.

Gravity affected Freakazoid, but sometimes Freakazoid just didn't give a damn.

Highway

It wasn't like it was Freakazoid's way or the highway, the guy let Dexter do what he wanted. Pending two specific rules: it didn't cause harm to Dexter…and that Freak could come along sometimes.

Unknown

There was no fear of the unknown with Freakazoid around. After all, he was a living piece of the internet, and nothing was unknown there. But sometimes Dexter had to wonder…was that a good thing or…a not so-good thing?

Lock

Dexter learned very quickly he couldn't forcibly bar the Freakazoid from his side of their shared mind, but he also learned Freak would never pick the mental locks to get to Dexter unless he really really had too.

"Jezz Dexxy, you shoulda just TOLD me what was wrong-I can help you, I'm a superhero."

"Freak…I didn't need saving at the time, and at the risk of sounding like a girl I kind of just want to be hugged and told everything' going to be okay."

"Well I can do that too," and he opened his arms smiling down at Dexter. "But ya can't lock me out, arright?"

"I…alright, Freakazoid."

Breathe

As long as Dexter kept breathing, Freakazoid would too. Aside from graphite bars charged with negative ions…Dexter was definitely Freakazoid's biggest weakness.

But whether such devotion is a flaw or strength…is for you to decide.