"When love dies, there is still hope that the same love can be revived.
But when it fades away, there is nothing more left to recover..." -Author
Shades of Gray
Part One: Santa's Little Helper
The third of December
Winter came as it should, chilling to the extent that it had kept all the town's occupants locked up inside the refuge of their warm homes. Everyone that was in the vicinity of his or her house was kept heated, and there was nothing to be feared but the deathly cold temperature awaiting them just outside their doors. The wintry season was indeed cold, yet it's also known to bring warmth in the hearts of people... But there's always a place for such coldness to linger and grow, especially if time had tested its rigidity to waste and tear.
In the town of Kalm, there was but one heart that was filled with such growing iciness. Amidst everyone else's bustling and busy preparations for Christmas, Tifa Lockhart had withdrawn to her own room, sipping warm cocoa and looking at the snow-covered surroundings through her misty bedroom window. Instead of feeling the joy of the Yuletide season, she felt numb inside, and all senses and thoughts of celebrating the holiday were all pushed aside. The only thing occupying her mind was the feeling of heaviness and the void that had crept inside her wholeness.
"Yo, 'tis da season to be jolly Teef!" she was too caught up in her own world to even notice that Barret had entered her room. She glanced in his direction and saw that her brawny friend was dressed in a red Santa Claus outfit, dragging a large sack filled to the magnitude that some of its contents were threatening to spill out of the bag. A huge smile was plastered on his unshaven face, and Tifa thought it was unusual to see such a grouchy guy like him to be this cheery. Habitually, Barret was such a sourpuss when it came to dealing with anything and anyone else other than his daughter, Marlene.
The thought of Barret's vulnerability to the little child warmed Tifa's heart and a genuine smile quickly spread on her lips. She turned to face him, finally tearing her gaze from the entire scenery overlaid with thick blankets of snow. "I was just wondering when the snow would stop falling." She shrugged, realizing it was partly true. The cold was beginning to be intolerable and even the heater wasn't keeping her warm.
"Wonderin' when da snow would stop fallin'? I thought ya love snow! Dat's da dumbest thing I ever heard! Who'd ever want such a wonder like dat to stop from spreadin' its simple beauty?" Barret raved on, gesticulating to the sight of the window, showing his negation on her uttered statement. She grinned wider, remembering his "golden shiny wire of hope" comment and how silly he could be whenever he got on his poetic mood. "Ya see those people makin' snowmen and snowballs, and snow angels and all dat? Dat gives me a damn good reason to think dat snow is one honest excuse to celebrate!"
"Sure the celebrating comes first. Remember, you'll have to shovel all that soon." She reminded him, and the smile was immediately transformed into his signature scowl.
He dropped his sack on the floor and glared at her. "And you damn hafta remind me dat." She just watched him and once again, she couldn't help think how much he resembled a giant teddy bear. That very thought made her smile. "Yeah, you better keep that smile on your face 'coz yer gonna be Santa's little helper from now on." Tifa didn't know what he meant until he reached inside the bag and handed her a red cloth.
She studied the cherry coloured garment and the smile slipped from her face. She recognized it as one of the ruby dresses worn by the lady Santa Clauses, or, as Barret simply put it, Santa's little helpers down by the mall. "Uh, I don't think I can help you with this one..." She began uncertainly, glancing over at her friend to see his reaction. "I mean, don't you have any more help than you need back there?"
Barret waved a hand as if dismissing her remark. "Yeah sure, like we can friggin' call Elena and Yuffie help? At least Shera can cook me a delicious meal." He grumbled, showing his displeasure on having to be nice to the Turks. After Sephiroth and Meteor's defeat, the three people in blue had proposed a truce to stop hassling one another since they had no more reason to harass each other. At first, Reno and Rude kept a respectable distance from their group while Elena straightway struck a friendly atmosphere with everyone in Avalanche except Barret and Cid.
"I don't know if I feel up to it. Besides, I'm sure there would be a lot of other women who'd be willing to take this job." Tifa didn't feel like wearing a short skirt at this time of the year but she knew a lot of ladies would be thrilled to work wearing it since it would be a good opportunity to meet men.
"I don't like having to interview cartloads o' women fer one job. C'mon Tifa, ya gotta help me wit' dis! Yer da only one who can keep Elena and Yuffie a li'l less annoying." That was true since they would just talk the whole time, after all, Tifa had gotten close to them in a little less than a year that the three of them had been friends. Barret chuckled softly, a small smile eking out of his lips. "Besides, Cloud will be there too."
"Barret, don't start with that topic." The last thing she wanted to be reminded of was her supposed best friend. She could admit anytime of any given day her true feelings for him, but then she feared that he may not feel the same way towards her. Her knowing that Cloud still lived in the past and the fact that he hadn't moved on with his life haunted her that maybe he did love Aeris so much, too much that a strong factor such as death wasn't even able to break the bond of emotions for the Ancient. It was clear in everything he did that he continued to linger in the memory of Aeris before her death and Tifa found it absurd that he had yet accepted the fact that their friend was dead and there was nothing more to be done.
Tifa retreated to her spot in front of the window where she had been mulled over before Barret had interrupted her reverie. Frost had topped the glass, fairly obscuring everything from sight. She wiped some of the haze away, creating an opening big enough for her to look out into the pre-Christmas commotion.
"Cloud is still trapped in his own illusory world, haunted by ghosts from the past. He's merely existing now, waiting for the time when he'll be rescued from this oblivion. I think he's anticipating his escape from the life he has abandoned and called a nightmare..." Tifa murmured softly, peering out into the open, in high hopes that she'd see something that could uplift her spirits from this sudden assault of depression.
She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Barret gazing at her sympathetically. "Wow Teef, dat was deep. If only I was da real Santa Claus, I'd give you da happiness only you deserve." She smiled at her friend's kind words and squeezed his hand appreciatively. "You don't hafta go if ya don't wanna..."
"No, I'll go. 'Tis the season to be jolly, am I correct? And I have little children to make happy." She stood up and took the dress from a chair. She fingered the soft fabric and ran her hands down the velvety clothing. Marlene still didn't know his father was the Santa Claus and Tifa wouldn't want to miss having to see the little girl's face light up when she sees him.
Barret shook his head and smiled fondly at her. "I really admire you, Teef. Being cheerful and optimistic for everyone when you're ready to break down inside... I wish I can be like that, too." Unaware how his words had struck her, he gathered the stuff that had scattered from the open bag.
She took one final look out the window before following Barret out of her bedroom. He thought she was strong, she could only wish she could believe that as well.
Outside, the snow continued falling, covering everything in its powdery white essence.
Author's Notes: Is it Santa Claus, Santa Clause or Santa Klaus? For all those who have just started reading, this was created YEARS before Advent Children came out (March-May 2002), that's why there are no real references to Kadaj. Anyway, expect appearances of more FFVII characters in the next chapters. ) Thank you for reading! Reviews, comments, suggestions and critiques (err, not flames) are greatly appreciated.