"So Harry has your phone?" Rachel asked sleepily through the phone as she- judging by the rustling of her sheets- rolled over in her bed.

"I'm having a crisis here and you're acting shockingly cavalier about it!" I said, calmly. That's a lie; I was in full out panic mode.

"I am doing what any sane person would do if they were woken up at five in the bloody morning by their psycho best friend freaking out about Harry 'the Sex God' Styles stealing their phone," she said, grumpily.

Fine, maybe she had a point. But that didn't mean she had to be so grumpy about it. Five o'clock was a perfectly reasonable time to wake up in the morning. I mean if Postman Pat could do it so could she!

I was about to give Rachel a piece of my mind when I heard low murmuring coming through the receiver.

"You know, talking to yourself is one of the first signs of madness."

"Thank you very much, Kellie, for those wise words but I wasn't talking to myself."

"Ooh," I said, suddenly intrigued. "Who are you talking to then? Is it Finn? HI FINN!" I shouted into the phone hoping he could hear. Finn was Rachel's boyfriend of two years. They met at the café where he worked part-time waiting tables for college.

There was a pause before Rachel responded.

"It's not Finn."

…

"What? What do you mean it's not Finn?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" a hint of annoyance in her tone. "I'm saying that Finn's not here."

"But I thought he was your boyfriend. Why isn't he there giving you some tender lovin'?" I asked, wriggling my eyebrows even though I knew she couldn't see.

"Look, I don't want to talk about this right now," she sighed. "Besides, I thought we were discussing what to do about your phone."

Oh right, my phone.

An hour later we were seated in the window seat of our favourite breakfast diner. It was where we liked to go for lazy Sunday mornings. Well, not so lazy in this case.

"So what's the deal with you and Finn?" I asked as I stuffed juicy rashers of organic, free-range bacon into my mouth.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Rachel in a clipped tone as she daintily sipped on her soy latte made with organic soymilk. Rachel's a vegan.

"Alright then, tell me what I should do about my phone."

"I don't know. Why don't you just go and get it?" she snapped irritably.

"He's seen me naked."

"So? Your mum's seen you naked!"

"She's not the one who has my phone!" I half whispered, half shouted.

"Okay fine. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to-" Rachel gave a little squeak, slid down her chair and crawled under the table.

"Crawl under the table and look up my skirt?" I asked, confused.

"Tell me when he's gone!"

"What? When who's gone?" I asked as I inconspicuously scouted the diner for the guy Rachel was hiding from. The only people in the diner besides us were an old couple drinking coffee and a young family of four enjoying their breakfast.

"Seriously Rachel, I can't see who you're hiding from."

"Could you say my name any louder? I'm not quite sure the people in El Salvador heard," she hissed from under the table. "Just pretend I'm not here."

"That should be easy," I muttered under my breath.

Just then, two guys walked through the door. The dark haired one went to order while the blonde one looked around the room. There was something familiar about these two guys but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." I heard Rachel whispering to herself.

I'm guessing this was the guy she was hiding from. Just as I thought that, I noticed he had spotted us and was casually strolling towards our table. I busied myself with stuffing more bacon into my mouth.

"Rachel! He's coming towards us! Code red, I repeat, code red. What do I do?"

"Just stay calm and be cool."

Yeah, I could do that. All I had to do was be cool. I was born cool. I oozed coolness.

The guy was almost at our table now. Why was he even coming over here?

"Hey Niall, get over here. You're the one who wanted food," said the dark haired guy as the blonde turned and headed back towards the counter.

"Oh my god. Was that the guy from the bar yesterday? Did you sleep with Niall Horan?" I shrieked at Rachel. Well, shrieked quietly, if that was possible.

"Rachel?" said a manly voice that was not mine. I turned my head and saw Niall looking at Rachel and Zayn Malik looking…at himself in the window.