AN: Hello fellow Torchwood fans, it's been a while since my last posting. Unfortunately my health does tend to bash my muse and physical ability to write. I still love the classic version of the show and continue to think of COE and Miracle Day as being from something else. However hopefully they will do a season V if only so we can see Jack, Gwen and Rhys and PC Andy back on our screens fighting the good fight.

This is dedicated to Darque, Mc Parrot, Quiet time, CJH4ever, Angstosaur, Jessie blackwood and Rietta with love x and because your stories are keeping me sane right now.

This is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are down to my loose fingers and fudgy brain. Thanks for reading. Deeta

ONE LIFE

Ianto yawned and then did his best to try and hide it under the sleeve of his coat, in the same way he tried to wipe at the tears still leaking from under eyelids and gathering in his long dark lashes. His pale face was turned to the window as Jack drove them away from the hospital and back towards the Hub.

Mission almost complete.

Cardiff slid by in a miasma of lights broken and disjointed by heavy, slanting rain that filled the chill night with drear and soggy air. It had been a long and upsetting couple of days and the encounter with the phantom circus performers had left him feeling out of kilter and frozen to the core. Ianto hated the unexplained, the indefinable and the fantastical elements of his job, especially when they killed people.

The people he was paid to protect.

An hour ago they had saved one boy. Jack had told him that he had saved one boy. Ianto knew that his boss (under those circumstances) had been trying to thank him for saving a life, but Ianto saw it as the failure to save many more. Of course he hadn't said that to Jack because he was unwilling to dampen Jack's happiness as he'd held the child in his arms.

This case of the 'night travellers' had opened up too many old wounds, aside from the spooky doos. Ianto had never wanted to set foot in Providence Park ever again and the memories of his father in happier days were just downright painful.

Ianto could feel each time Jack shot a concerned look his way as he drove, for once mindful of the local road rules and weather conditions. The windscreen wipers hardly coping with the volume of precipitation squeaked disconcertingly in time with the beating of his heart. He could feel the warm air from the vents brushing at his damp skin and making his coat feel tighter about his body. The smell of drying clothing permeated through the air unpleasantly and Ianto had to swallow down a sudden rush of nausea. Ianto rubbed absently at his aching arm. It was the one the ghost man had touched and he fleetingly wondered if it were damaged in some way and maybe Owen should take a look.

Jack carefully parked the SUV and turned in his seat to look at him. Ianto couldn't meet his concerned gaze until he felt Jack's warm fingertips at his chin, guiding his face to look up. There was only concern and affection radiating from the depths of those lovely blue eyes and Ianto managed a weak grin.

"I'm alright Jack." The lie slid easily from his tongue and Ianto knew it was useless. "Sorry. Sorry, can we just?"

Jack's hand was cupping his cheek and the warmth seeped through him to his bones and Ianto's shoulders slumped dramatically. Jack was still smiling at him.

"You did good Ianto. I know this was hard on you and I hope you're gonna tell me why, but you did good. A boy lived and I promise you he will be well loved and cared for, for as long as he needs it. I will see to it personally." Jack spoke in soft, comforting tones and warmth came from his very being and wrapped it self around Ianto.

He nodded eventually as he leaned into Jack's touch. "Okay."

"Now tell me what hurts, I can see you are hurting."

It was a gentle yet firm command and Ianto couldn't refuse. "My arm. When that ghost touched my shoulder, my arm just sort of feels wrong now."

"Owen can take a look. The rest we will discuss over coffee after the reports are finished, because I have questions and I think you need to answer them."

"Coffee sounds nice, bearing my soul, not so. It was just….. I don't know." Ianto didn't want to talk about any of it really.

Jack was not going to let it go though. "Come on." He leant forwards and placed a lingering kiss to Ianto's forehead. Ianto closed his eyes, broken by the intimate gesture and unable to stop the water rolling down his cheeks. He sniffled and wiped his face on the sleeve of his coat again. Jack undid both their seat belts and pulled Ianto against the solid wall of his chest and engulfed him in an embrace, one hand holding Ianto's head in place against his shoulder. Ianto could feel fingers soothing at his scalp and could hear the steady thump thump of Jack's heart. He let go and shuddered out his anger and grief in heaving sobs, unaware of Jack struggling to hold back his own spiralling emotions.

"What took you so long?" Owen groused from the depths of his autopsy bay as both Jack and Ianto stepped in through the cog door.

"Clean up. Owen check Ianto over if you please." Jack called over his shoulder as he made his way up to his office.

Ianto hesitated by Toshiko's desk as she smiled up at him. Ianto offered up a small grin as he removed his coat and draped it over a railing to dry it out. At least the Hub was warm and even Myfanwy swooped down as if to check that all of her nestlings were back in the fold. Ianto caught Gwen's look of concern and headed down to Owen's domain.

The dead medic already had his scanner at the ready and Ianto perched himself on the end of the autopsy table after removing his suit jacket, tie and shirt.

It wasn't difficult for Owen to see what the problem was judging by the expression on his face as he examined Ianto's shoulder.

"What happened? This looks like a burn."

Ianto nodded. "That ghost maker thing touched me when he took the flask out of my hand."

"Well the scanner indicates a freezing type burn, it's quite nasty. I'm gonna have to use a dermo regen pack, sorry mate, it's gonna sting a bit."

Ianto sighed. "Oh, rapture."

In truth he knew, although the treatment would hurt like hell, it would also work and his body would be as good as a new in a week. He sat quietly and patiently as Owen got on with his job, content not to talk either, for which Ianto was entirely grateful. He lost himself in his own dark, tumbling thoughts, unaware that Toshiko and Gwen had both gathered on the gallery level to find out what was going on. A flutter of movement to his left and suddenly Jack was there at his side and engulfing Ianto's left hand in both of his. The warmth once again seemed to emanate from Jack's contact and Ianto found himself smiling at him for a moment.

"Owen?" Jack asked not moving away even when the medic tried to shoo him off with a flap of his bandaged hand.

"He's fine. I'll just need to check the dermal pack in the morning to make sure it has taken and he'll need a bit of minor surgery to remove the damaged tissue."

Ianto let the conversation flow over him, losing himself in the anchoring sensation of Jack's large hands wrapped around his slightly smaller one and a finger rubbing calming circles against the inside of his wrist. A while later and Owen finished his task and Ianto came to a little bit as Jack finally released his hand and put both his own hands into a prayer position.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Coffee sir?"

"Yes, please." Jack handed over Ianto's red shirt and he watched as the silk, cotton blend was slid into place and buttons covered tempting pale Welsh flesh.

Ianto wasn't putting on a show though, not with the girls still watching from above.

Half an hour later and the team had been sent home. Myfanwy had been fed and Janet settled in for the night. Ianto made his way up to Jack's office with a tray of Indian Take away food and a pot of fresh Javan coffee. Jack opened the door for him and took the tray and set it down on his cleared desk.

"You should have asked me to come and fetch that." He admonished gently as he gathered Ianto his arms and kissed his cheek. Ianto accepted the embrace for a short moment before stepping back.

"You can pamper me after we've eaten. I'm ravenous." He smiled at Jack and could see the relief in the older man's eyes at the gesture. "In fact, after, you can help me shower too because I have to keep the dressing clear of the water." He added with a cheeky smirk.

Jack's face lit up. "Sounds like a good plan."

They sat at opposite sides of Jack's desk and happily ploughed their way through the selection of dishes Ianto had chosen, taking it in turns to feed one another and pass trays to each other without really noticing how easily they complimented one another's moves. They talked nonsense, the weather, Martha's wedding plans, Gwen's honeymoon photos and finally Jack got round to the subject of their latest case and Providence Park. Ianto realised as he sipped on a glass of very good single malt that he actually wanted to talk. Jack meant everything to him now and they were finally at a place where they could share the important things and trust one another in the sharing.

"It was my Tad. He lost his job, his tailoring job when I was ten so after he went to work in the men's department at Debenhams. As you can imagine it was a bit of a come down for him and he became deeply depressed. Of course I was just a selfish ignorant boy and a horrible teenager with no real understanding of how ill he was, he was violent sometimes and I took the brunt of it. In those days PP had out patient clinics and I went with Mam and Tad a few times, but I was stupid and it was only after Tad's death that I figured out that I was supposed to help him on those visits. It was made worse by the fact that latterly he had cancer. He used to take me to the Electro when I was younger and I used to help in the shop. I suppose I was angry because suddenly I lost my Tad, well those times I had with him. I let him down and I feel guilty about that." To Ianto's surprise Jack had hung on every word and reached across the desk to grasp his hand.

"Thank you."

Ianto simply nodded and a calm silence settled between them for a moment before Ianto spoke again.

"I just… with this case. I see ghosts and…. Well I am sure you understand."

"Yeah. I get spooked by the idea that there is really no way of knowing what they truly are, we can't control them." Jack replied.

Ianto nodded, but decided that it was time to dispel the sombre atmosphere. "Do you still have that uniform?"

Jack grinned at him. "I certainly do. I think you have a bit of a uniform fetish going on there Jones Ianto Jones."

Ianto fluttered his eyelashes. "You, in a uniform fetish. So how about I tidy these things away and you get changed and I will see you in your bunker in say 10 minutes?"

Jack delighted at the appearance of Ianto's ever faithful time piece. He rose from his seat and offered up an enthusiastic salute.

"Yes sir."

Ianto felt all of the tension drop away from his body in an instant, as he was warmed to the core by the light in Jack's eyes. He may have only saved one life today, but he had saved a life and that in itself was something and Ianto knew that Jack would be watching over that boy as much as he was going to in order to make sure he had as good a life as possible. There was no use worrying about the things they could not control and it was time to move forward from his past and look forward to what life he had left with Jack and Torchwood. Even if he couldn't forgive himself, at least he could continue to give his best because he too only had one life.