Chapter 19

"But it's so stupid," complained Sirius. "It's a stupid, tacky and ridiculous day."

"I wouldn't have thought someone with your looks would have minded it, actually," commented Frank mildly.

"My looks are the exact reason I do mind it," retorted Sirius. "Look." He gestured to the other end of the common room where a large group of girls were openly watching them, some of them even going as far as to giggle or wave when they saw Sirius looking over at them. "You see?"

"I do," said James dramatically. "But, alas, knowing that we have been blessed with the good looks of our respective families is a cross we have to bear."

Frank blinked. "Wherever did you learn a phrase like that?"

"Dean used it once," replied Sirius.

"Ah." Frank nodded as though that explained everything, which, if he was honest, it probably did.

"But anyway," continued Sirius, "Valentine's Day is stupid. It's all just an excuse –"

"To try and get the attention of someone you might be interested in as more than a friend and potentially make an idiot out of yourself?" asked Remus, laughing. "I thought we did the second part of that all the time."

"No, it's an excuse for your parents to have parties to determine your perfect marriage partner," said Sirius. "Apparently, it's completely all right to start that when your child reaches the age of six under the pretence of it being romantic."

"Your family did that?" exclaimed Remus. "Are you serious?"

"As the Killing Curse, yes." Sirius barked out a laugh. "Apparently, it's something all the crazy pureblood families have done for generations."

"Explains why I've never heard of it," mused James.

"Yep," said Sirius. "It's also how Cissy and Lucy Malfoy were first introduced, although, somehow, she fell in love with him."

"Blimey," said Frank. "Now I understand why you hate today."

"And several other holidays during the year," admitted Sirius. "Christmas, Easter, birthdays, you name it – they've all been used as excuses for bride-or-groom finding." He slammed his quill into the ink pot so hard that there was a loud cracking noise as it hit the bottom.

"Well, now you're going to need a new quill," said James with a shake of his head. "But you're right, we should do something funny for it." He drummed his fingers on the table. "Any suggestions?"

"Let's wait until Dean and Pete come back," said Sirius as he pulled another quill out of his bag. "Where are they, anyway?"

"Peter's in detention and Professor Flitwick asked Dean to help Niamh out with her Charms work." Remus checked his watch. "But they should both be back soon."

"Excuse me?" A laugh came from behind them and the boys turned to see Gideon Prewett watching them with undisguised glee. "Did I just hear mention of the prospect of a Valentine's Day prank in the same sentence as our friend Dean spending time with a beautiful young woman?"

"You did indeed," piped up Fabian. "Although," he paused thoughtfully, "possibly not the girl we originally considered."

"What do you mean?" asked James.

"Well, Jamie, my friend," said Gideon, "you may have noticed that our mischievous demon-slayer –"

"Had been getting rather friendly with another one of our fair lionesses," continued Fabian.

"Namely –"

"A certain young redhead –"

"Known as Lily Evans."

"Can you two ever finish a sentence on your own?" asked Frank, laughing.

The twins looked at each other and shrugged. "No."

James shook his head. "Dean and Lily?" He laughed. "Nah, that's stupid. They're just friends – or rather, they were until recently, anyway."

"Yes, until a certain Evans family secret came out," muttered Gideon.

"Mm," mused Sirius. "A certain secret I don't think either of them would want us to be –"

"Spreading around?" James snorted. "I hate to point this out, but I think she managed that one perfectly well on her own." But when he saw Sirius rolling his eyes at him, he shrugged. "Well, if you've got something more interesting we can talk about, let's hear it."

Sirius stared. "Hello? Did you completely miss the part about a Valentine's Day prank? Seriously, James, you're losing your touch in your old age."

James responded with a rude gesture and a murmur that he was still younger than Sirius, thanks very much, even if it was only by a few months. Sirius laughed and turned to face the twins. "So. Valentine's Day. Any good pointers for something we can put together in a week?"

Frank sighed. "Oh, you boys, you boys." He shook his head, his eyes twinkling madly. "You have no idea. No idea at all."

One week later…

When the group of Gryffindors made their way towards the Great Hall, they were greeted by a huge crowd stood outside the doors. All of them seemed reluctant to step into the hall, gesturing to their friends to go in first and getting emphatic refusals in response. Fabian and James were among them, both acting as confused and resistant as everyone else, but if you looked closely enough, you could just see the little twinkle in Fabian's eye that said he was anything but embarrassed and he knew perfectly well what was going on.

Sirius, who was behind them, nudged Gideon in the ribs. "Looks like –" but he stopped when he saw the look the redhead gave him, realising just in time that discussing the success – or failure, as the case may sometimes be – of a prank in front of people who were not involved in its conception was a very stupid thing to do, even if no one else appeared to be paying attention to them, unless you were trying to land a detention. You just never knew who –

"What's going on here?" came a cold and smooth voice and Sirius turned just in time to be brushed out of the way by Lucius Malfoy as he came striding down the corridor, his robes flowing imperiously behind him. Fortunately, he was too distracted to notice Fabian making a rude gesture at his back.

"Excuse me," he drawled, cutting through the ranks of students with an almost practiced ease and knocking down a couple of Hufflepuff first-years in the process, "but what is the problem here? Why are you not going in for breakfast?"

"Wish he could go in, then he'd find out," muttered someone and a minute later, Dean and Remus appeared, both of them finding it hard to contain their giggles.

Sirius grinned. "Brilliant, isn't it?"

"It just got better," chuckled Dean, pointing at Malfoy, who had evidently had enough of waiting, grabbed the Slytherin prefect and pulled her inside, showing that there was nothing to worry about and that "whatever this stupid spell was, it won't affect the Prefects after all!"

Unable to stop himself, Gideon snorted loudly. "Does he really believe that?"

Apparently, he did, because he and the other Prefect strutted haughtily into the Hall. But, of course, just as it had with everyone else, the spell took hold the minute they stepped through the doors and, amidst a shower of gold sparks, an enormous pink heart appeared over their heads and settled in mid-air, occasionally seeming to glow and shimmer as if there was something inside itching to come out.

"Now, that," said Remus, his voice barely audible over the gales of laughter, "was definitely worth getting up early for."

Dean was about to nod and agree, but then he saw Lily walking towards the Hall accompanied by Severus and a Ravenclaw boy he recognised but couldn't recall the name of. He frowned to himself; he knew he should probably go and warn her about what would happen if she walked in with either, or both, of the two boys. But when he opened his mouth, something stopped him from saying a word. A strange feeling was starting to rush through him, making him think harder about how Lily had been with him ever since the start of the term. He had always, up until now, been able to convince himself that she had been reacting that way because she was shocked by what she had heard and angry with her father from keeping it from her and her sister. And, if he was honest with himself, he could understand why she felt that way – no one would have liked finding out something like that, after all. But at that moment, the part of him that was hurting was shouting at him to let her go right on through and face it. Besides, it seemed to be adding, she might just find it funny.

Apparently, his indecision was visibly written over his face, because Fabian poked him in the ribs. "If it bothers you so much, feel free to go and tell her what's going on. We aren't going to judge you for it. But just think for a minute. She's been nothing but awful to you since the start of term and you haven't deserved it at all. Maybe if you just let this happen, she'll realise that the Marauders look out for each other, and that if you mess with one of them, you mess with all of them. Besides," he dropped his voice, "who's to say she won't rat you out if you do stop her?"

"As if I'd tell her it was you!" hissed Dean indignantly, but he knew Fabian was probably right. He watched, miserably, as Lily and Severus walked through the door and heard the laughter and applause as the spell activated. Lily was looking around in confusion at first, but then her eyes narrowed. She said nothing, however, merely turned on her heel and stalked into the Hall, though the slight hint of pink Dean saw in her cheeks contrasted markedly with the stiffness in her posture. Beside her, Severus seemed to be confused, as if he wasn't sure whether to be impressed with the ingenuity of the prank, or disgusted at the possibility that the instigators were some of his worst enemies. He glanced up and, suddenly, his eyes locked with Dean's. He stared at him for a long time before his mouth opened a touch as though he was about to shout out something. Dean's stomach lurched and he quickly looked away, before cursing himself as he realised that he'd just effectively confirmed the other boy's suspicions.

Fabian had obviously realised the same thing. "Well, damn it," he said ruefully. "But it was fun while it lasted. I guess we'll be seeing each other soon in detention."

But Dean ignored him. He had turned back to watch Severus' face. The other boy apparently hadn't moved and was still watching him intently, his eyebrows raised and his brow furrowed. Clearly, he was trying to decide what to make of the whole situation. Dean could almost feel his own heart dropping into his shoes, knowing how unlikely it was that Severus would let them get away with it. Friends they may be, but he knew only too well that Severus had little or no love for the rest of the Marauders, and he surely would have no qualms about turning them all over to Professor McGonagall.

Except that, apparently, he would, because a small smile suddenly crossed his face and he tipped Dean a quick wink and wandered into the Great Hall with Lily.

Fabian whistled. "Well, I never." He turned to the others. "Looks like we got away with it again."

Sirius looked utterly unsurprised. "Of course we did. That was never in doubt."

"Your optimism is frankly amazing, Sirius," remarked Frank, who had come over with Remus and James.

"And it will be completely unfounded if we wait out here instead of going in for breakfast," added Remus. "By the way, how long is this spell supposed to last?"

"Well, it'll go away when someone with a heart over their head gets kissed, or kisses someone," explains Sirius. "But regardless, it'll be gone by tomorrow, right?" He smiled at the twins.

However, the red-headed boys looked at each other. "Um…" said Gideon, "yeah, about that…we might have slightly changed the spell."

"Changed it how?" asked Sirius warily. "Wait, tell me no one has to have sex to get rid of it!"

"No, but now you mention it, that could've been an interesting modification for the older years," remarked Gideon.

Dean stared. "Seriously? Does the wizarding world know nothing about sex education and why that would be a tremendously bad, not to mention potentially illegal, idea?"

"One problem at a time, Dean." Remus then turned to the twins. "What did you do to the spell?"

"Well, we kept it so that you still only have to kiss on the lips to get rid of it," said Fabian slowly. "But…we found another modification that looked fun, so we did it."

"And what did that modification do?" asked Sirius, with a growing sense of alarm.

The twins exchanged nervous glances. "Well," said Gideon, his eyes flickering from side to side, "we're not sure if we did it right –"

"But we followed all the instructions." Fabian looked worried. "And, if it goes the way it should have done…then…"

Dean had a strong sense of foreboding. "Go on…"

Shifting cautiously from foot to foot, Gideon murmured, "if two people don't kiss before the end of the day…the spell's locked in. Meaning the heart won't go away."

The others looked around at each other in silence for several seconds. Then Remus coughed. "Let me make sure I've got this right. You're saying that you modified the spell so that, unless kissing on the lips happens by the end of today, they're stuck with that stupid heart over their head for good?"

"Pretty much, yes," said Fabian who at least looked a little shamefaced. "And, as far as we know, there's no way to shift it."

Sirius groaned and James covered his face with his hands. "Oh, we are in trouble."

Peter – who, until then, had been quiet enough for the others to almost forget he was even there – suddenly let out a groan. "It just got a whole lot worse."

"What do you…" but when he turned around, Remus saw, quite clearly what Peter meant. Filch was stood several feet away from them, his cat sat far too smugly in his arms and an unpleasantly gleeful smile on his face as he stroked her fur.

"Well, well," he said, his eyes twinkling in a way all too different to Dumbledore's, "look what we have here, then. A fine band of miscreants."

Dean then turned to James. "I think we've discovered that we're now in serious trouble," he remarked.

Though, really, as much as Remus agreed with the sentiment, he thought that their American friend would have been better off keeping his mouth shut. Filch's eyes lit up all the more and he looked as if he was less than a moment away from dancing a jig, if he actually knew how to.

"A confession!" he shrieked, so loudly and joyfully that a few stray students actually jumped and several others turned to look around. "You admit that you did it!"

"It's not as if denying it would help us, is it?" muttered Sirius. Remus inwardly groaned, though, fortunately, Filch seemed to be so happy to have caught them that he didn't seem to have heard him. Any exhilaration he had felt over the success of their prank had long since faded away and was replaced by a feeling of sick anxiety.

He had no idea where they were being taken, but he supposed that the options were either Professor Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall. Out of the two, he was hoping for the latter; their Head of House might be extremely strict and have the ability to freeze people in their tracks as soon as she fixed them with that piercing gaze and that thin-lipped scowl of disapproval, but it would be so, so much better than the look of disappointment that he was sure would be on the Headmaster's face. Dumbledore might have the better sense of humour, but he had pulled so many strings to even allow Remus to come here that this would surely be seen as a betrayal of his trust.

Suddenly, a loud crash sounded ahead of them, making them jump. Filch froze in his tracks and looked around, his nose twitching as if he was sniffing for danger or mischief. He didn't have to wait long, though; moments later, a shriek of cackling laughter echoed through the air towards them.

"Peeves!" he roared, his eyes bulging. Sure enough, the poltergeist appeared moments later, a wild grin on his smug face as he soared and spun around in front of them, giggling and cheering loudly.

"Come on, Filthy Filchy!" he chortled. "Catch me if you can! But I bet you can't!" He did another somersault in the air, this time swooping over the head of Mrs Norris, who yowled and jumped out of Filch's arms and tore after Peeves, hissing and spitting as she went.

By now, Filch was nearly purple in the face and his eyes were almost blazing fire. "Come back here, you accursed fiend!" he shrieked, rushing past them and nearly bowling Dean over in the process. The boys heard him shrieking increasingly creative obscenities all the way down the corridor.

Gideon was laughing silently. "Oh Merlin…what did he do?"

"Dunno," said Dean. "Except possibly save our asses."

Sirius whooped and punched the air. "I knew that poltergeist was good for something!" he said. "Hey, Dean, no exorcising him or whatever it is you do with poltergeists, got it?"

"What, and do something that would actually make Filch happy?" Dean snorted. "Hardly. Besides, I think some of the other teachers quite like him, otherwise why else would he be here?"

"Who cares?" asked James. "The fact is, he is here and he's just gotten us out of some very serious trouble. Come on, let's go –"

"Are you sure about that, Mr. Potter?"

Immediately, everyone froze. They would have known that voice anywhere and, sure enough, when they turned around, there stood Professor McGonagall, her arms folded and her eyebrow arched imperiously as she stared down at them with almost the exact expression Remus had imagined her to be wearing. He swallowed hard, feeling himself shrink into his shoes.

It's still not as bad as disappointing Dumbledore.

"Well?" asked Professor McGonagall. "Have you anything to say for yourselves?"

They all exchanged glances with each other. "We are in very serious trouble," said James.