Disclaimer: I do not own any anime/manga characters and/or original plots, this includes 'Naruto'. I do however own the created plot in this Fanfiction ^_^ YAY!

So sorry this is late! I have been so busy etc…please forgive me? *Pleading eyes* Pretty please?

"…Deidara." Itachi called the blonde artist to attention with suspicious eyes.

Deidara met his gaze with innocence. "…What, un?"

"You are acting…different." The Uchiha stated. Deidara began to laugh, sounding slightly forced.

"Different? ME? No way, I'm the same old drop-dead sexy artist you know you love!"

"I WISH YOU WOULD DROP DEAD!" A deep voice boomed from the next room. Deidara twitched.

"SHUT UP KISAME! Anyway, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me Itachibi." He assured the boy.

"…You stopped saying 'un'." Itachi paused. "And you have been blocking my way to the door for over fifteen minutes now." He reminded the blonde, who was perched precariously across the doorframe, somehow managing to cover almost all of the gaps possible for slipping through.

Deidara blinked. "…Shit…un."

"Why don't you want me to leave?" Itachi demanded with narrowed eyes. Deidara avoided meeting his stare.

"…No reason un."

"…Deidara. Move." The boy ordered the criminal, who shrugged in reply.

"But I'm…comfortable."

Itachi's eyebrow rose. "You are comfortable standing in a grotesque stance in the middle of a doorway?"

The blonde nodded, his long hair bouncing at the action. "Hai. Very much so, un."

"Deidara-" Itachi growled, attempting to find a way to distract his youngest Sensei. "-Tobi was just playing with your clay. He said something about 'dying it a pretty colour for Deidara-sempai as a surprise'."

"Oh hell no, un!" All rational thought flew out the window, or more accurately the now unblocked doorway, as Deidara raced down the hall. Itachi watched him disappear.

Deidara…what are you hiding?

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"What are you doing here, Itachi! Fugaku ordered us not to speak to you until you are punished to his satisfaction." Shisui hissed, his eyes scanning the area.

"…Punished? What did I do?" Deidara, you had better hope you didn't screw anything up…

"What did you do? Itachi, you completely disobeyed him! I don't know what has gotten into you these last few days, but you're acting really weird! I suggest you snap out of it before further damage is done. There is already talk. They're saying you could be disinherited as heir if this defiance continues, although that is nothing but exaggerated gossip I'm sure. But seriously, get it together cousin, and fast. Fugaku is not known for his patience."

Itachi was still reeling from shock, but managed to school his expression into a blank slate. "Hai…thank you Shisui, I will...address this problem."

…Deidara I'm going to KILL YOU!

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Storming into the cabin with gritted teeth, Itachi cornered the blonde artist. His Sharingan had activated unconsciously and was currently boring through Deidara's head like a laser.

"Oh, Deidara?" he called ever-so-pleasantly. The artist, seeing the fury in those red eyes, tried to bolt.

"Sorry, can't talk, leaving now bye un!"

"Deidara!" Itachi yelled, glaring at the suddenly frozen blonde. "I went to visit the Uchiha compound earlier today…." He began mildly, watching the guilty man flinch. "So let me just ask you this. What. Did. You. Do?" The question ended with a growl.

Deidara coughed into his hand. "Uhm…I don't know what-"

"Do not lie to me Deidara." Itachi interrupted. "Why am I banished from my own home? What could you have possibly done?"

Blue eyes jumped around frantically. "Um…I sorta, maybe, kinda could have defied your father a little…and supposedly the bastard jumped straight to temporary expulsion from the clan…"

Itachi waited. "…There is more?"

"…"

"…Deidara." Itachi had very little patience right now.

All the air left the blonde as he exhaled a long, drawn-out breath. "Ok, ok, I maybe told him to go fuck himself dry with one of those forsaken fans as I left…"

The look on Itachi's face was one never seen before by the artist, who proceeded to panic.

…Oh Kami…I'm dead. Yep, that's it, life over. Bye-bye life, nice knowing you for this unfortunately shortened time. Well, not really, but hey I can't complain. Just don't let it hurt too bad…Oh who am I kidding, Chibi or not Itachi is not known for being merciful!

He was too wrapped up in thought to notice the subtle movement of Itachi's hands.

"…Deidara?"

"…Hai, un?" He squeaked, cringing. Don't look at the eyes!

"KATSU!" The Uchiha shouted.

Deidara's eyes widened in shock before he was blasted through a wall. Shakily, the artist pulled himself into what could be considered an upright position and scowled. Damn brat had gotten him with his own technique!

Looking through the new Shinobi-sized hole, Itachi snickered and clutched a long blonde ponytail that had been crudely cut with a Kunai. Turns out minor explosives were great for distraction. Revenge…was totally worth it.

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Itachi knelt on his knees by his father's feet, holding his head low and obviously submissive. Fugaku glared down at his eldest son, lacking the blank expression much of the village saw on a regular basis. Here was his domain, his clan, his son, he could allow himself to express his displeasure.

"Itachi. You come before me today to beg forgiveness for your sins against myself and the Uchiha clan, correct?"

Itachi did not raise his head. "Hai, sir."

"You must understand that you cannot be so easily forgiven. Not only have you shown a shocking disrespect to the clan head, but the way you have conducted yourself of late is unacceptable." Fugaku said harshly. He looked away from the kneeling boy to contemplate the painted rendering of the classic Uchiha fan on the wall to his right.

"The Uchiha are a clan of superiors. Our genes give us not only great intelligence and natural skill, but also a Kekkei Genkai unrivalled by any." Fugaku boasted. Itachi couldn't help but think that the Hyuuga clan would beg to differ. Fugaku continued without pause.

"Like the flames inherit to us, we ruthlessly burn through all in our path, allowing for new life and an untarnished future to grow from the ashes. However, we cannot prevail through genetics alone. No, we must discipline ourselves, push ourselves to victory regardless of obstacles. Win at all costs, that is what it means to be Uchiha." His gaze narrowed in accusation.

"You, Itachi, have strayed from this ideal recently. Once our greatest budding prodigy, you have now let all discipline slip away. This reckless attitude must end, immediately." The clan head demanded. "Now tell me, are you prepared to accept the responsibilities placed upon you as heir to the Uchiha clan?"

Itachi nodded, inwardly rolling his eyes at the theatrics. "…Hai."

"Then rise, Uchiha Itachi. Aside from myself and the Hokage, you will now bow to no one." Fugaku declared, although his face showed reluctance when he spoke of bowing to the Hokage as well as himself. Interesting.

"Your banishment is now null and void, you may return home. And Itachi –watch your actions from now on." Fugaku warned just before Itachi left the room. The boy inclined his head.

"Hai, Tou-san."

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"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'I DON'T KNOW'?" Kisame roared at a glaring Hidan.

"I mean just that dumb shit, I don't know." The purple eyed man spat venomously.

"It was your turn to train with him!" Kisame growled. It seemed that nobody knew where Itachi was currently, which had the group in a flurry.

Hidan's eyes narrowed in anger. "No it wasn't, it was yours!" He shot back defensively. "It's Tuesday, I train with the damn brat on Friday!"

Kisame's teeth gritted loudly as he fought to keep his jaw clenched. "And the schedule got messed up when he had that three-day mission remember?" he reminded Hidan sarcastically.

The Jashinist's face pinched bitterly. "And why should I change my plans whenever the midget goes gallivanting across the countryside with his retarded team?" he hissed, just as Itachi entered the room.

"It's not like I enjoy being stuck with those frauds." The young Uchiha frowned in irritation, no doubt recalling his team's latest idiocies. Hidan waved away the intrusion without glancing his way.

"Shut up, you aren't part of this conversation."

Itachi's eye twitched. "It's about me!" he protested.

"Kid's got a point...Wait, Itachi, where the hell were you!" Kisame looked down at the dark haired boy from his great height in a poor attempt at intimidation. Itachi sighed.

"Sasuke had a show-and-tell day at the Academy…"

Kisame blinked, not getting it. "And?"

"He brought me."

"He…brought you for show-and tell?" Kisame asked slowly, clearly trying to process the Great Uchiha Itachi being presented like a pet rabbit.

Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Hai…A 'Real Live Ninja' according to the children…Apparently the Senseis don't count because they are working at the Academy, not out on the field."

"Ouch." Kisame winced. That would be a blow to anyone's pride.

Hidan could take being ignored no longer. "WHAT THE FUCK IS SHOW AND TELL?"

"Hidan what the heck kind of childhood did you have, un?" Deidara snorted as he walked in from the kitchen covered in flour. His once beautiful hair hung off-balance around his shoulders, barely long enough to be tied back. It looked even odder since his signature bang was still at normal length, covering one eye, while the other glared at Itachi. "You bring something that'll make the other kids jealous and then you brag about it!"

Hidan's brow furrowed. "…That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and that includes the time Kakuzu sold my fucking liver." He rolled his eyes at the idea.

There was a silence. Itachi, who over time had heard stories of his silver haired Sensei's 'partner', was the first able to regain his wits.

"…Your partner sold your liver?" he clarified in disbelief.

Hidan shrugged irritably. "We were short on cash…And there had been no good bounties recently…"

"I know you've said he was a money-hungry guy, but…" The Uchiha trailed off. Hidan snorted.

"Yeah, the greedy bastard has no morals."

"Says the Jashinist, who loves to torture, maim and kill for no reason at all un." Deidara retorted sarcastically.

Hidan looked scandalised. "In the name of Jashin-sama! That is hardly 'no reason'. Your little firework displays on the other hand-"

"WHAT?" the blonde shouted, throwing his hands up in the air, causing some of the flour to become airborne. He then started sneezing. That is the LAST time I try and make ANYTHING edible!

Itachi glanced up and to the side, locking gazes with the frustrated shark beside him. "Kisame, you wouldn't happen to have any sedatives on you?" he inquired lightly. Kisame shook his head.

"Unfortunately no."

"…Damn." Itachi sighed and continued to watch the bickering, hoping it wouldn't lead to more alarming ANBU searches. Thank Kami they were S-class, or they would have been found long ago. The front door slammed open, drawing attention away from the budding fight.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" cried an ecstatic and unmistakable voice. Deidara froze, desperately wishing for it not to be so. But alas, it was. Tobi stood in the doorway with his arms flung wide open, partially blocking Zetsu behind him.

…

…

"Why is Deidara-sempai covered in flour? Oh, oh! Is it a new game? Tobi loves games!" the masked member squealed in a way that reminded Itachi dreadfully of Fangirls.

…

…

"Tobi, perhaps it will be best if we come back at a later time." Zetsu told the overly enthusiastic man, getting grateful looks from all the other occupants of the room.

Tobi cocked his head ninety degrees to the side in confusion. How was that even possible? "Um…ok Zetsu-san. BYE-BYE DEIARA-SEMPAI!" he called childishly, blowing a kiss in the direction if the seething artist.

"I HOPE YOU DIE, UN!" Deidara screamed, just as the flimsy hair tie slipped off the short ponytail, causing the artist's screams to become hysterically intelligible.

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Hidan couldn't take it anymore. All this goodie-two-shoes shit was seriously getting to him. Jashin-sama demanded more sacrifices dammit! Making up his mind, he approached the resident Chibi.

Hidan glared with determination. "I'm fucking sick of this 'no-killing' thing. Jashin-sama needs more than the occasional intruder to remain satisfied with my loyalty! So I'm going on a mother-fucking field trip and if you have a problem with that you can go suck a cock because I'm going."

Itachi looked up from sharpening his Kunai. "I have no reason to try and stop you…but when will you return?"

"Depends, how long can you leave this damned village without them going batshit looking for you?" Hidan asked with a casual shrug. Itachi blinked.

"Excuse me?"

Hidan gave a long-suffering sigh, it seemed he had to spell it out for the brat. 'Genius' my ass! "As your Sensei I am taking you on this training trip, in which you will be inducted into the serving Jashin-sama!"

"…I must join your religion?" Itachi asked, just to be sure.

"It is a fucking honour you are being given here brat, be grateful that you have the privilege of being trained by Jashin-sama's most loyal follower, or this opportunity would not have come around any time in your previously pathetic existence." Hidan lectured.

"Flattery is not your forte I see." Itachi commented drily. Hidan let out an annoyed 'Tch'.

"Just shut up and answer the fucking question. How long can we be gone?"

"…I will ask Zetsu to have one of his clones take my place. There is no way I'm trusting anyone with a Henge again, and Zetsu is a decent actor." Itachi decided. Hidan had to agree.

"Better plan than using the moron Deidara…"

The Uchiha wouldn't argue with that. "My sentiments exactly. When do we leave?"

"As soon as fucking possible!" Hidan replied, excited at the prospect of freedom once again.

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Three hours and twenty-six minutes later, Hidan and Itachi were transported outside of Konoha's walls by Tobi via teleportation. Turns out the idiot was good for something.

Itachi adjusted his pack. "Where are we going?"

"Doesn't matter. Anyplace with a shitload of people to sacrifice…" Hidan trailed off with a happy expression that could unnerve the Hokage mountains themselves.

Itachi hesitated to speak. "Hidan-sensei…I have never killed anybody before, I'm only a Genin regardless of my status."

Hidan grinned in anticipation. "All the better! Now you can learn the proper way to kill someone…instead of selfish reasons other Shinobi have. To save their own skins, complete missions, take out threats…all that shit that they think justifies themselves so they can sleep at night without needing to cry themselves to exhaustion." Hidan rolled his eyes in disgust. "Jashinists are different. We sacrifice life to our god, to honour Him and gain His favour, so we are trusted to carry out other important tasks for Him. One task is recruiting other worthy and powerful people to the cause…Don't go getting a big head, but giving him you as an asset entitles me to a few extra brownie-points."

This peaked his student's curiosity. "How so?"

"Kid, the way things are going, you're gonna be one hell of a tough mother fucker. Add to that whatever benefits Jashin-sama may deem you worthy of and you'll be friggin' unstoppable." Hidan was nearly drooling at the imagined carnage.

Later that night the travellers were huddled around a small fire Itachi created, careful to set up camp far from detection via the steadily rising smoke. Itachi remained silent, simply watching as Hidan held his hand over the flames, allowing it to burn when he came to close to the fiery coals. Once, this action would have disturbing the young boy, but now it was only mildly unsettling, and even that was only when Hidan suggested he join in.

He respectfully declined.

…This was going to be a long trip.

Sorry again about the wait! Next chapter, Itachi completes the ritual and kill for the first time! Any requests, just send them to me ;)

-TITM