Edward didn't know how much time had passed before ther was a soft knock on his door. Edward wanted to ignore it. He wanted to sit in this room and cry and mourn. he didn't feel like dealing with these people and their curious and sympathetic sad eyes. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

The soft knock came again and Edward knew he would have to answer it. So he got up from the bed to go open the door. Carlisle's daughter stood in front of the door. She looked unsure of herself. Edward didn't know why. Edward wasn't scary in the least.

"Hi Edward," she said softly. "Umm dinner is ready if you're hungry. You don't have to come down though. Mom said it was alright to eat in your room. And she NEVER lets anyone eat in their room."

Edward was tempted by the offer. He didn't want to spend time with Carlisle and his family. He wanted to spend as little time as possible with them. But Edward knew it was fair to take his anger out on everyone else but Carlisle. Alice Cullen was his sister by blood. She was a thirteen year old girl who has just found out that she has another brother. She was innocent in all this and if she wanted to get to know him Edward knew he should try. Edward knew all of this but it didn't stop him from wanting to be irrational and angry and jealous and sad.

Edward knew his mom would want him to try. She held no ill will against Carlisle or Esme. The few times she spoke about him she was insistent that Carlisle was a good man. That he helped her in any way he could. That he deserved to be happy too. And in a way Edward understood. He understood that he was a mistake even if his mother would never call him that. He understood that he wasn't what Carlisle wanted and that he feared Edward's existence would damage whatever he was trying to have with Esme. It just didn't stop Edward's feelings of abandonment. It didn't stop Edward from feeling unwanted. It didn't stop Edward from feeling like he wasn't enough for his own father to stay. It didn't stop Edward from hurting sometimes.

Edward decided since his mother would want him to, he would try with these people. Or really he'd try with Alic. Sweet looking Alice, who looked like she held no malice in her small pixie like body.

"Edward?" Alice whispered.

Edward looked at her for a second before he said, "I'll be right down. Just give me a moment please." She smiled brightly and nodded with enthusiam before bounding down the stairs.

Edward went across the hall to the bathroomand washed his hands and splashed water on his face, eyes avoiding the mirror that was above the sink. He took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom and heading downstairs.

When he made his way to the dining room he saw that the Cullen family were already seated. Esme and Carisle were sitting next to each other and across from them Emmett and Alice were sitting next to each other. There was empty chair next to alice and one next to Carlisle. Edward decided to sit down next to Alice. The lesser of two evils in his mind. Alice seemed estatic by the fact that he was sitting next to her. She smiled brightly at him as he sat down.

They seemed to be having steak, mashed potatoes and corn. It looked delicious and Edward suddenly realized how hungry he was. He couldn't remember the last time he ate. As soon as Edward sat down everyone started to eat.

The awkward silence was painful. No one seemed to know what to say with Edward around. Edward was greatful for this. He didn't want mindless chatter. He didn't want to hear about their lives. He didn't care.

After five minutes of silent eating Carlisle cleared his throat. "Edward," he said nervously. Edward looked up from his food but he looked at the chair next to Carlisle rather than at Carlisle himself, hoping Carlisle will keep talking without him having to acknowledge him. "You start school next Monday. It gives you a week to settle down." Edward nods before looking back down at his food. He just wanted to finish eating and go back to that room.

"So," Esme began. "How's Rosalie, Emmett? I haven't seen her in a while."

"Or Jasper," Alice adds.

Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme snort. "Well you know Rosalie, always busy. She has a lot on her plate this year. SInce it's our last one. And you know Jasper, attached at the hip with Peter but Peter recently got a girlfriend so Jasper has been spending less time with him than usual. I'll invite them over soon."

"Good," Esme says. "I miss them. Especially Jasper."

"Ma you just miss his Texas accent and him calling you ma'am all the time."

"Well it's not my fault that he's a charming young man. You can learn some manners from him Em."

"Manners from Jasper? Ma he's playing you. He has no manners except when he's in front of adults. When he's not he's a reckless potty mouthed hooligan."

"Well he's polite to me so I don't care."

Edward blocks out the rest of their conversation. To his horror tears well up in his eyes. The banter and normalcy makes him long for his mom. Makes him long for dinner with his family. When his mom would try to cook before Eddie Masen, his step father, came home to save them from eating her inedible cooking. When Riley and his brother would come over almost every night for dinner. When his family was whole.

Edward dropped his fork and pushed away from the table and stood up. He dropped his head into his hands. He couldn't breathe. His heart was racing and sobs ripped out of him. He wanted to stop but he couldnt. He missed them so much. He had lost so much. It wasn't fair. Edward cried and cried. He hated himself for letting these people see his pain. But he couldn't hold it in. Sometimes things need to be let go and this was one of them. His sorrow.

He felt someone wrap their arms around him. He didn't move because he knew it was Alice. No one elses body was that tiny. If it were anyone else he would've ripped himself from them but he couldn't do that to her. She was only trying to help in a situation that couldn't be helped. He didn't allow himself to wrap his arms around her though. He wasn't ready not yet.

Minutes passed before he stopped crying. He stood there for a moment before he put his hands down and gently freed himself from Alice's hug. She looked at him with big wet eyes.

"Are you alright Edward?" she asks. He looks around him. At Esme who quickly wipes her eyes, at emmett who's looking uncomfortable, and at Carlisle who looks distraught. He didn't answer. He wasn't okay. He didn't know if he ever would be.

"May I be excused?" He whispers. He left without an answer. Edward was suddenly glad he had a week before he started his new school. He would need it to prepare himself for a long two or so years.

(******)

Hi! I want to thank everyone for their patience. My patience would've run it's course by now. I want to thank everyone who reviewed and faved and followed this story. I know why I haven't been feeling this story and that's because I have not planned it out well enough for my liking but now I have a little.

Edward is 16 and in his Junior year. Alice is 13 and in her freshman year. Emmett is 18 in his senior year. He was left back in sixth grade. Jasper is 16 and in his junior year. Rosalie is 17 in her senior year. This is taking place in October. Now that I have these small details it makes me feel way better about this fic. Small details do matter people. I hope you enjoy. And once again sorry for any mistakes.