Hey guys! This came to me at night suddenly and I thought it would make a funny story. It's supposed to be funny, but I'm not sure if it's dry humor (because there's a LOT of sarcasm in here) or if it's any kind of humor at all. Um I think this is when they're genin, but post chunin exams. But a bit of a warning it's kind of crack, I mean I didn't intend it to be in the first place but as I read over it, it sort of just came out that way. I kind of just wanted to write a funny Nejiten, and I'm not sure it'll be super romantic but there will probably be romance, so yea. Enough of my terrible ranting! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Chapter 1: You're Not in Love With Me

Tenten sighed and practically threw her self on the ground next to Neji. She was exhausted and couldn't wait to go home and get some rest. She sat up straight and wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.

From the corner of her eye she could see Neji raising an eyebrow at her. Obviously judging her. She debated with herself for a moment if it would have been worth it to call him out, but she decided against it. She was too tired.

"Alright my glorious students, that was a wonderful training session we had today! Now before we leave, I have an announcement to make!" Gai exclaimed.

"How does this man have so much enthusiasm after all we just did?" Tenten thought to her herself.

"An announcement! How exciting sensei!" Lee exclaimed as well, with as much enthusiasm as Gai.

"That's another one. I swear it has to coke," Tenten thought. That was her theory, in fact. Not specifically coke, but some type of drug or another had to be what was fueling Lee and Gai-sensei. Where else would they get all that energy from? In fact, Tenten would rather believe that it was drugs, then believe that they were just naturally that flamboyant about everything.

"Yes Lee, it's that type of enthusiasm that I love! I swear I grow prouder of you day after da-"

"The announcement?" Neji interrupted. Tenten mentally thanked him, Gai-sensei could have and would have gone on forever. "Maybe it's Amphetamine," Tenten thought. Speed would explain every single characteristic of Gai-sensei.

"Ah that's right Neji! I'm glad to see that you are eager about this! This announcement is specially for you," Gai said winking at Neji.

"Typical," Tenten thought.

"You see, our team has been given a mission!" Gai said. Lee's mouth made an "O" shape and Tenten tried to hold in a yawn.

"Where are we going sensei?" Lee asked, getting up in the process.

"Ah! Not "We", my dear Lee! I will not be attending this mission! In fact one of you won't be either!"

Tenten's ears perked up. "Wait, so one of us doesn't have to go?" she asked.

"That's right my lovely little bud," Gai said nodding his head.

"Why? Will the person who's not going be in some sort of trouble if they don't go?" Tenten questioned aloud, ignoring the nickname that Gai-sensei had just given her.

"No of course not! The only trouble is not getting to take in the experience of course!"

"Fuck experience," Tenten thought. This is just what she needed. A little relaxation. A little time to get away from Lee and Gai-sensei and their use of drugs.

If she didn't have to go, then she could stay home and sleep all day, that's all she really wanted. Tenten began to fantasize about the glorious time she would be able to spend at home.

"Who'll go!" Lee said worriedly breaking Tenten away from her fantasy.

Tenten looked over to Lee, who had his fist clenched near his chest. Clearly he wanted to go and clearly Tenten wasn't going to take that away from. No, of course not, what kind of person would she be then?

"You know what Lee, I see that determination in you. And I'm clearly not as excited to go as you are, I mean who is?Right?" Tenten nodded her head, agreeing with what she was saying and turned to Gai who seemed to agree as well. She then turned to Lee and smiled again. "So why don't you go? I'll sit this one out. I'll take one for the team!" Tenten said proudly.

"Really Tenten! You'll do that for me?" Lee asked her happily with a tear in his eye. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, don't worry! It's okay! You go, you deserve it," she told him.

"YOSH!" Lee exclaimed.

"Now Tenten, that was very … generous of you," Gai began.

"I know, I try, I try," Tenten said almost giving herself a pat on the back.

"-but I'm afraid that's not how it works."

Tenten smiled and blinked at her sensei. "Um, what?"

"You can't choose whether you go or not. That decision is up to Neji."

"Neji?" Tenten said out loud, turning her head towards the boy. She had almost forgot that he was here since he hadn't been saying anything or making any movements at all.

"Yes! Neji has been picked team leader for this mission. It's a simple mission, but a serious one nevertheless, but that's why only two of us have to go. Neji, being team leader gets to choose who he feels is fit to go with him," Gai said.

"He won't pick me," Tenten thought rationally. He had just heard her give the spot up to Lee, which clearly meant that she didn't want to go. If Neji was any kind of decent human being than he would no-

"I choose Tenten," Neji said calmly.

Tenten blinked again. "What?"

"I choose Tenten," he said again calmly.

Lee face fell in disappointment. Gai nodded his head and smiled, "well then that's that-"

"No! No! No!" Tenten exclaimed.

Her team all paused and looked at her puzzled. She tried to compose herself and began to speak. "I mean, c-come on Neji, you can't just make a decision like that so suddenly, y-you should think about this! Right Gai-sensei, you said it yourself, this is serious!"

"I did think about it, and I chose you," Neji said.

Tenten glared at Neji. "This little punk is doing this on purpose."

"Tenten does have a point Neji," Gai said. "I'll tell you what, the mission isn't until Saturday. Think it over until Thursday and tell me your final decision then. Until then, I have to head over to the hokage, I'll see you all tomorrow 5 am sharp! Don't be late!" Gai said beginning to head out.

"Goodbye Gai-sensei!" Lee waved and watched as Gai suddenly disappeared.

The three of them were left in an awkward silence. Tenten turned to Neji and began to speak but was cut off.

"I'm not changing my mind Tenten," Neji told her.

Tenten closed her mouth. "It's okay Tenten, play it cool, be nice. That always works," Tenten told her self.

"Well, I see, that you're very confident in your decision, but what about Lee! Do you really want to break his heart?" Tenten said gesturing towards Lee.

Lee had began to walk around the field in a circle, clearly depressed and questioning why he wasn't going.

"Look at him, look at him. You did that Neji," she said.

"I honestly don't care. I already said it Tenten I chose you."

"God Neji! This isn't Pokemon, you can't just choose me!" Tenten said getting impatient.

"And why is that Tenten?" Neji questioned her.

"Because!" Tenten began to think of a valid reason on why she couldn't go. She was beginning to get frustrated when suddenly an idea popped in her head. It was brilliant. What else did Neji hate most? He was the king of non-affection. He hated when girls ogled at him like animals.

All Tenten would have to do is show Neji some affection and Neji would be like, "ew, fuck you, you digust me" and choose Lee instead because Lee clearly wasn't going to fall in love with Neji. Well, at least she hoped he wouldn't.

"Well, I can't go with you because …" Should she really do this? How badly did she want to stay home? This might even change the way Neji would see her forever.

"Tenten if you don't have a good reason then I'm leaving," Neji said beginning to get up.

"Wait, no!" Tenten said grabbing him. "Fuck it, I don't have anything to lose. Neji is going to have to deal with it one way or another. YOLO."

"Neji I can't go on that mission because I'm madly in love with you," she said to Neji matter-of-factly.

"What?" Neji asked, looking at Tenten skeptically.

"That's right Neji, I'm majorly in love with you!" Tenten exclaimed proudly with a smirk on her face.

"What? Tenten, no you're not and majorly isn't even word so…"

"Yes I-Wait what? What are talking about? What do you mean it's not a word?" Tenten asked scoffing.

"Majorly isn't a word. That's incorrect."

"I'm pretty sure it's a word, I mean I've been using it all my life…"

"Well you've been wrong your whole life because that's not a word."

Tenten looked down and then looked up again confused. "Well iregardless, that's … why are you shaking your head?"

Neji was shaking his head and frowning at Tenten. "No, that's not a word either."

"What? What's not a word?"

"Iregardless. It's just regardless."

"No! Wait now you're just wrong. I know this one is a word! It has to be!"

Neji continued to shake his head at Tenten. "No, it's not a word and it's never been one."

Tenten looked puzzled and was almost embarrassed. almost.

"You know what Neji, I'm tired of you besmirching me. The point is that I'm in love with you and I can't go with you on the mission." Tenten began to shake her head. "Who does that? Correct someone's grammar when they're trying to confess their love for them?" She asked out loud. "I'm judging you for that. All this Besmirchment going on, and all I want to do is love you."

"I don't even know if you even used that word correctly but regardless," Neji said putting an emphasis on regardless, "I'm still choosing you because you're obviously not in love with me."

Tenten narrowed her eyes at Neji. "This bitch ass Hyuga," she thought angrily. "What do you mean?" she asked him.

Neji rose his eyebrows at her. "What do you mean, what do I mean? I just told you what I meant. 'Your Not in Love With Me'. I don't understand what you didn't get out of that."

"I AM! I am in love with you. In fact I'm crazy about you! You're all I think about! I- I wrote a poem about how much I love you!"

"Oh really? Recite it," Neji said.

Tenten paused. "Huh?"

"Recite it."

"Y-you mean the poem? You want me to recite it you?"

Neji sighed. "Yes Tenten, the poem."

"... Right now?"

"Obviously Tenten."

"Oh, well I'd love to, really, but I can't."

"And why is that Tenten?"

"I, um, forgot how it went so …"

Neji sighed and got up. "Look Tenten, I think you humored me enough for one day, my decision is final. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tenten watched as Neji began to disappear from her eyes. She growled and sprung up.

"Just watch! I'll show you just how in love I am with you!" She yelled out. That filthy Hyuuga.

A/n: I really hope you guys liked it and I hope you at least chuckled, at least ONCE. I don't know if I'm good at comedy but I tried so, I really hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought and leave a suggestion if you think about anything funny to say. I'm open to that!

S/N: I know a lot of you guys are like, "Why are you not updating Me and Mr Hyuuga! What do you think of life!" But don't worry!No guys I have not left "Me and ", I'm still working on it. I just needed to get this out so my brain can focus on the chapter that I've been working on. This had been bothering me and I really needed to get out!

Thank you so much for reading and please review and tell me what you think! (: