A/N: Last two drabbles for now! These two both feature the pairing JayDick.
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Title: Tomorrow
Words: 1,329
Category: Angst/Romance
Rating: T
Pairing: JayDick
Summary: Their anniversary is also Jason's death day.
A/N: Dedicated to renegadejaybird on tumblr. Originally posted on tumblr on August 29, 2012.
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Dick was going to be firm. This year was going to be different from last year, and the year before. No matter how many bad memories this particular April day held, no matter how much every member of their family hurt on this day… This was their third anniversary. Dick wasn't going to let Jason lock himself away in his room, not for the second year in a row.
Dick had filled today's schedule with things to take Jason's mind off of the date. (Deep down Dick knew that nothing he could do would ever make Jason stop hurting, but, no, he couldn't think like that. It would just take time.)
As the original Boy Wonder did his best to not burn the pancakes he was making, he ran through ways to confront Jason.
Jason, I know that today isn't such a great day for you, but, hey, look at it from my perspective—No.
Yeah, you were the one that died, but you didn't have to deal with the aftermath—
Dick sighed and ran his hand through his messy hair. There just seemed to be no way to ask Jason to try and be a little happier today without sounding excessively rude and selfish. Carefully inching the spatula underneath the pancake, Dick flipped it and groaned when the other side was nearly black. In a sudden fit of annoyance, Dick turned the stove off and yanked the cabinet doors open. He pulled out a bowl and snatched Jason's cereal from the top of the fridge. Pouring the cereal into the bowl, Dick scolded himself. Why did I even try cooking? Every single time I either end up burning things to ash or giving someone food poisoning. Why did I even think I could ever try and do something for Jason? Everything seems to backfire on me, Dick thought with bitter disappointment in himself. He just wanted Jason to be happy today, and, well, he wanted to be able to celebrate the fact that even though a lot of people didn't believe that their relationship would last, Dick and Jason made it through another year together. That was worth celebrating. The fact that Jason died was… not.
Dick sighed again, because what kind of breakfast in bed is made up of cold cereal and questionably tasting orange juice? Dick picked up the tray anyway, forcing a smile onto his face. He'd just have to wing it when asking Jason if he could possibly maybe perk up a bit today? It's my anniversary, too, Dick thought.
Carefully balancing the tray in one arm, Dick pushed their bedroom door open quietly and flicked on the light. Jason was on his side, his back facing the door. He'd stolen the blankets that Dick had left behind earlier to try (and fail) to cook breakfast for Jason. He'd cocooned himself in the thick white comforter, only his black hair peeking out of the nest Jason had created.
"Dick, s'that you?" Jason mumbled into his pillow.
"Yeah, Jay," Dick said softly. "It's time to get up." Dick walked several steps closer to the bed when Jason made a low sound in the back of his throat.
"I don' wanna wake up," Jason whined. But there was a tiny bit of desperation hidden in his voice. Hesitantly, he added, voice thick, "Not today."
Suddenly, Dick felt stupid for trying at making all of Jason's hurts be okay for his own selfish wants. Just because he wanted Jason to celebrate their relationship instead of mourning his own death didn't mean he should be a jerk about the fact that Jason will never really be okay on this day. Guiltily, Dick set his tray on the dresser. Jason died. Even if he spent months mourning the fearless and brash Robin, he wasn't the one that died.
Heart heavy with guilt, Dick slid into bed next to his boyfriend. "Okay, Little Wing. If you want to stay in bed all day, I'll—I'll stay with you," Dick whispered, swallowing.
As Jason shuffled around, unwrapping himself from the blankets to give some of them back to Dick, the older man recalled how their relationship began on this very day, three years ago. It was because of Jason's rawness and vulnerability that Dick had been brave enough to finally ask Jason to be his boyfriend. They'd kissed several times before, and Dick had inflicted cuddles on the younger man. But seeing Jason on his death day was a painful sight. The normally strong and unflinching Jason was nothing more than the broken teenager that was brutally murdered by the Joker on this day. After seeing Jason in that state, Dick realized that he wanted to be the one to fix Jason, to bandage all his wounds, and kiss all his hurts better.
But that's silly, Dick thought. I can't fix Jason; nobody can. Yes, he's hurting, but he's not broken. No, just cracked. Never broken. Not completely.
Dick's arms were firmly around Jason, and the younger man's face was buried in his collarbone when the tears started. It was only a couple of drops against his old t-shirt, but they slowly grew faster and faster until Jason was shaking and sobbing against him and several tears of Dick's slipped out, too.
After Jason would tire himself out and run out of tears, he'd calm his hiccupping and drift off into a light doze for a little bit as Dick stared at his vulnerable, open face. Jason wasn't hiding anything from him, not today. Jason would wake up from his shallow sleep and grip Dick tightly, and possibly hold Dick tighter or cry a bit more.
It continued like that for the rest of the day, Jason's tears and tight hugs coming and going like waves in the ocean, pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling…
Despite the numerous scars littering Jason's body from his vigilante activities, Jason had more mental scars than physical scars. And, unlike the scars on his chest and arms and legs, the mental ones still caused him great pain. They were crippling; one wrong comment and Jason would flash back to some of the worst times in his life, and it was all Dick could do to hold him and wait for them to pass. Dick could only hope that one day a light press to Jason's scars wouldn't send him into a shaking, sobbing agony. Dick could only hope that their relationship would help Jason get there.
Jason's scars were deep, and it would be a long time before he could ever really move past some of the things that had happened to him. But Jason had been able to forgive him enough to freely admit that he loved Dick, so there was a ray of light for him yet.
The old saying "time heals all wounds" isn't true, not for Jason and Dick. Because these scars were so deep, and so agonizingly painful that they'd never really heal completely. Over time, the memories would become less painful, but… it would be a long, long while. Maybe one day in the far future, Jason would be able to actually function on this day. Maybe one day Jason's scars would fade enough that they'd no longer be crippling. But for now… Dick would hold Jason through the pain, letting him know that he's not alone anymore, and that he'll never have to be.
The small velvet box in his pocket was uncomfortably digging into his thigh as he lay in bed with Jason. He'd planned to give the gold band inside to Jason after they'd finished the day full of celebration that he'd set up. But now, he knew that today was not the right day to pull it out Jason. Maybe tomorrow, when Jason's cracks weren't showing.
Maybe, tomorrow, instead of giving Jason more scars, he could give Jason some good memories. Maybe he'd ask Jason to marry him, and maybe Jason would say yes. Tomorrow.
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Title: Confidence
Words: 1,168
Category: Romance?
Rating: High T
Pairing: JayDick
Warnings: Nudity, hints at suspicious activity
Summary: Prompted by redundantthinking on tumblr: "JayDick; Dick never gave much thought to modeling until Kory suggested him to her agent and told him that Mr. Todd was interested in his "work". What he didn't realize was that the "work" would involved nudity and, also, he was being set up."
A/N: Originally posted on tumblr on August 7, 2012.
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"Wow, uh... I didn't know I'd have to be, uh... naked..." Dick says uncomfortably, shifting from side to side. Nobody paid attention to what he said. He attempted to be modest by covering himself with his hands, but Dick knew that wouldn't really fly for long. It's not like he was against being naked, no, more often than not he walked around his apartment in his birthday suit. He didn't mind friends and family and lovers seeing him in the nude, but that creepy-ass photographer and the agent that he'd only met with a grand total of four times? Not so much.
His agent, Mr. Todd, was sitting on the couch in the corner of the room, intently tapping on the keyboard of his phone. The ancient photographer fiddled with his camera, adjusting settings and preparing for the photo shoot.
"Whenever you're ready, Mr. Grayson," the elderly man said.
Dick took a deep breath. Shouldn't there be a director for this or something? What was he supposed to do? What was this shoot for anyway? Did he just stand there and look pretty? Dick pushed away all his suspicions. Mr. Todd seemed like a good guy. He wouldn't ask him to do a nude shoot unless he knew it was a golden opportunity.
Dick let his hands drop to his sides. "I'm ready."
The photographer nodded, and looked closely at his camera. "Alright, Mr. Grayson, give me your best 'I want to sleep with you' look."
Dick could do that. Bedroom eyes were something he was good at. He did his best to think about Kory and Roy and Wally and Babs, and how much he enjoyed sleeping with them.
Dick was a little unsure what he was supposed to do, so he just stared at the camera and hoped he was doing okay. The only sounds in the room were the clicks of the camera and the tapping of cell phone keys.
Dick jumped when Mr. Todd sighed loudly. He gestured to the photographer. "Give us a minute alone, would you?"
The old man shrugged and walked out of the room. Mr. Todd sighed and walked up to Dick. Dick looked down at the ground and fiddled with his hands. Here it comes, another person regretting their decision to try and help him. He just wasn't good enough. He never was and never will be.
Mr. Todd put a hand on Dick's shoulder. "Dick, you need to relax. You look as if you're scared someone's going to jump out and stab you. I can tell from those times that we've met that you're usually really comfortable with your body, so what's going on now?" He asked, almost gently.
Dick hunched his shoulders, nervous. "I've, uh, I've just never done this kind of thing before, and I don't know what to do."
Mr. Todd chuckled and smiled reassuringly. "It's fine, Dick. Nobody expects you to walk onto a shoot and automatically be perfect. It takes some time, okay? You just have to be confident that things will come together eventually."
Dick smiled, a hesitant quirk of his lips. "Okay, I'll do my best."
The other man smiled back broadly. "Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? I know that this can be really intimidating, and I just want you to focus on modelling, and not have to worry about anything else."
Dick's eyes moved back to the ground and he shuffled his feet. "Well, uh-it's just that... the photographer..." Dick trailed off.
"What about him?" Mr. Todd asked searchingly.
"It just feels... kinda... weird," Dick said vaguely.
The other man's eyebrows furrowed. "The reviews for this guy were all positive, despite his age."
Dick shifted, discomfort oozing off of him in waves. "He doesn't really tell me what I should be doing with my body, and I don't know what would be good cause I'm new to this. And..." Dick paused for a moment,taking a deep breath. "It's just-the way he looks at me makes me feel really self-conscious. Like... like I'm something to eat. And it reminds me of... yeah..." Dick said, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. Bad memories resurfaced of a woman nicknamed after a spider and a night that he never wanted to repeat.
Mr. Todd rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. "Okay. Well, I don't think I can get you a new photographer, but I have some experience, so perhaps I'll take over for him? Does that make you more comfortable?"
Dick nodded gratefully. Sure, he didn't know Mr. Todd all that well, but at least he knew he wasn't just a pretty object to take pictures of in his mind. "Thank you, Mr. Todd."
"It's no problem. I try and make my models have the best experience possible. And please, call me Jason." Jason smiled as Dick stared into his deep blue eyes.
"Okay. Thank you, Jason," Dick said, feeling more comfortable by the second.
Jason pulled away and turned to walk towards the camera when he stopped. "One more thing, Dick. You've got a gorgeous body and a wonderful personality to match. Don't be afraid to flaunt that."
Dick hesitated, before nodding slightly. He knew that he was handsome, but he wasn't all that great of a person. Sure, he had a stint as a cop and now taught an acrobatics class, but just because he helped other people didn't make him a good person. Dick didn't believe Jason for a second.
Jason could see the doubt on the other man's face, and he knew that if Dick was going to be a model, he'd need to love every part of himself. Jason knew that he had to prove that he wasn't just saying that.
Impulsively, Jason leaned in and kissed Dick, a hand coming up to cup his chin. Dick made a surprised noise against his lips, but then relaxed and melded into the kiss. Jason wasn't lying... Maybe Dick really was a good person. If Jason thought that, then Dick could handle it. Maybe he didn't like who he was very much, but Jason did. And... that was enough.
Finally, Jason pulled back and stared into Dick's wide blue eyes. "I wouldn't lie to you, Dick. You're an amazing person. Don't ever doubt that." Dick blinked dazedly at the realization that he really liked Jason. He was so kind, and comforting, and he had really soft lips...
Jason kissed Dick on the cheek and turned, walking to the camera. Dick smiled goofily, running his hand through his hair. This wouldn't be so bad. He could do this shoot with Jason, one of the few people who honestly believed in him and thought he could go on to do great things, behind the camera. This would be a piece of cake.
Jason pulled out his phone, and sent a quick message before slipping it back into his pocket and familiarizing himself with the camera.
Hook, line, and sinker. I'll be done in ten.