Thicker than Blood

By: Silver Spider

When Balder the Brave returned from Limbo, Asgard held a massive calibration to honor their last king. Meat of every kind imaginable turned on spits over open flames and drink was pored directly from barrels. Everyone was laughing and cheering with the occasional off-key song adding to the clamor. Thor and Balder sat at the center of the long raised table, surrounded by Sif, the Warriors Three, and what seemed like most of the city. All want to hear about the warrior's bold exploits.

All but one.

Loki never cared much for the rabble of the feasts Asgard was so found of holding. Perhaps in a past life he might have seen the gathering as the perfect opportunity for mischief, but he knew this time he had to be on his best behavior. He would have forgone the event all-together if, as a prince of Asgard, his attendance was not required. So he sat and poked at the food on his plate with minimal interest. Of course Volstagg had to notice.

"Eat up, boy." the big man clapped him on the back. "This is a celebration!"

"I'm not hungry." He propped his cheek on the heel of his hand.

"No?" Next to him, Fandral forward slightly to look at Loki. "A brother returned from the pit. You should be merry."

Heisnotmybrother! screamed inside Loki's head, but he held it in, knowing such an outburst would be frowned upon at best. He slid down from the chair. Fandral gave him a look.

"And where are you going?"

"It's past my bed time," the child said dryly.

Hogan raised a brow but said nothing, so he trotted out of the great hall. His departure did not go unnoticed though. Next to the thunder god, Sif glanced briefly in the boy's direction then touched her paramour's arm.

"Thor." She inclined her head at the retreating figure.

He looked then nodded to her. "I will take care of him."

With almost all of Asgard gathered there, the rest of the city was blissfully quiet. Loki had honestly meant to head for his chambers, but instead he found himself in the library and decided to stay. The place had always been a source of comfort for him. He climbed up onto a ladder and pulled out the first book he could reach.

However he was not even a chapter in when the hinges of the enormous wooden doors creaked. He lifted his eyes momentarily, and a small crease appeared between his brows. It was not Thor nor Sif or even the Warriors Three. Balder stepped through the slit in the door, eying the library with something akin to curiosity as if he'd never before stepped in the room. Loki had to bite his tongue not to comment on that.

Instead he said, "Shouldn't you be at your party?"

"Shouldn't you be in your chambers?" Balder raided a brow in a manner that reminded him of Thor. Loki hated that. "Fandral said you meant to retire for the night."

"So?" the boy snapped. "Some of us find reading relaxing."

To his surprised Balder threw his head back and laughed. He closed the door he'd just stepped through then took the steps towards the ladder where Loki was perched. The child eyed him suspiciously but he just kept smiling.

"Do you recal what you used to say about me?" the older god asked.

"No." Loki was too wary to show defensiveness.

"No, I suppose you would not." Balder nodded. "Thor said you remember nothing of the past, but I was not certain. You used to say that I am not called Balder the Bright for my towering intellectual gifts."

There was a moment of silence, then the child's musical laughter echoed through the dark halls of the library. He couldn't help it: it was just so funny. And Balder was still smiling, so Loki figured it was okay to laugh. After a minute when the sound had died to nothing but giggles, he finally looked at the man.

"That does sound like something I would say."

"Most certainly." Balder gave him a look of mock chiding before his face turned sincere. "I know why you are here, Loki, why you left the banquet. You needn't fear; I have no intentions of coming between you and Thor."

He felt uncomfortable for some reason, almost... ashamed. Balder had done nothing wrong, nothing to warrant this jealousy and anger. It was something that the old Loki – the Loki he was trying so hard not to be – would feel. The boy's gaze dropped to the floor.

"You are..." He bit the inside of his cheek. "You are his real brother."

"What is real?" Balder spread his hands. "You share blood with Helblindi and Býleistr. Do either of those names mean anything to you?" Loki only frowned in answer, and Balder smiled again. "No, you recognize none but Thor, but there are different kinds of brotherhoods, boy. I am content enough to be his sword-brother. Besides, we all know which of us he favors most. After all, when you died he brought you back. Me? Not so much."

"My older self got his name written out of the book of..." Loki started to explain why Thor could only bring him back and not Balder or Tyr but then stopped. Details like that didn't matter. Balder had made his point.

"I'm sorry," Loki looked up at him sheepishly. "My jealousy was... childish."

"You are a child," Balder pointed out sagely.

Loki thought that perhaps he should revise that earlier comment about the other god's intellect. He was about to say something just along those lines when the main doors opened again, and this time Thor stepped through. The golden bringer of thunder looked between the two of them warily.

"Is all well?" he asked.

"Yes, Thor," Balder answered before Loki could. "I'm afraid the excitement was a bit... overwhelming for our young prince." He winked at him. "I should return. It would not do to miss my own party."

When the other man left, Thor turned to him with nothing but a raised brow. Loki shrugged.

"He isn't a very good lier," the boy noted.

"A forgivable flaw." The corner of Thor's mouth twitched slightly. "Why are you really here, brother? What's troubling you?"

"Nothing." The younger god shook his head. "Not anymore."

"But something was." Reaching for him, Thor easily picked him up from the ladder and walked them over to the cushioned windowsill where he sat sown with Loki comfortable settled in his lap. Smoothing back a few strands of silky jet black hair from his eyes, the man tilted his head so that he could better look at him. "Tell me, little brother."

Loki sniffed. "It's stupid, really. Now that there was a brother of your blood in this world, I thought you might... feel differently about me."

Thor gave him a sympathetic look then kissed his temple. "I care for Balder," he said. "He has been a good friend and fellow warrior, but his parentage..." He shook his head as if not really wanting to finish the phrase and hugged the child closer. "I chose you, Loki. That means more than blood."

There was a long moment of silence, then the tilted his head slightly. "Why? Why would you choose me. Especially over brothers of your blood."

"I do not know," Thor admitted. "Perhaps... perhaps it is because you need me more, because I have the hope of righting some of the wrongs that have been inflicted on you, of giving you a good life. The hope of being a good brother this time around."

"You are a good brother!" Loki assured him. "A great brother!"

"Balder can be one as well." Thor pointed out carefully.

"He can." Loki shrugged. "But he won't be you."

"Fair enough." The older god smiled and hugged him again. Then his eyes came to rest on the book the child was still holding. "What have you got there?"

"Just some stories." Loki held it up for his inspection. "I wasn't really tired, just wanted to get away from the crowd. Don't you have to go back?"

"I suspect Balder can keep them entertained without me," Thor took the tome from him and turned it over. "I can read to you if you like."

He didn't really like reading, the boy knew, but he'd indulge him if asked, go out of his way to make him happy. Loki loved him for that and so many other things.

"No." He reached for the book. "You read too slow. I'll read. You listen."

Thor's chest at his back rumbled with laughter. "Yes, my little prince."