Required Reading for Redheads

Chapter 1 - Bill

By Poppy P

A/N: My first foray back into HP fiction in 5 years! I wrote this about 4 years and forgot about it. I recently found it and thought I may as well put it up since it was finished and beta'd and all. Naturally, I own nothing and am just grateful for the opportunity to play in JKR's world.

"This isn't your average book," said Ron. "It's pure gold: 'Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches'. Explains everything you need to know about girls."

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

"Dad, do you have a minute?" Fifteen-year-old Bill tapped hesitantly on the door of his father's shed. He leaned his ear against the door of the shed and heard the sound of banging metal. Bill knocked harder. "Dad?"

The hard knock must have startled his father because suddenly he heard a spectacular crash and a muffled oath. "Who is it?" called his father.

"It's Bill, Dad."

"Ah, Bill! Come in, come in."

Bill grinned at the sound of relief in his father's invitation. He pushed the door open in time to see his father covering up what looked like a Muggle engine of some sort.

"What can I do for you, son?" asked his father, blocking the view of his work table with his body.

Bill grinned; his father's nervous demeanour putting him at ease. "I need some advice," said Bill, "It's about girls."

Arthur shifted uncomfortably. "Didn't we have "The Talk" a couple of years ago? I thought we covered everything."

"Relax, Dad," said Bill quickly. "It's not about sex, precisely. What I want to know is, how exactly do you talk to a girl without making a total prat of yourself? It seems like every time I get near a girl, something stupid comes out of my mouth."

"Ah," said Arthur knowingly. He gestured to a couple of dusty crates. "Have a seat."

Bill dusted off one of the crates and sat down. He watched as his father rummaged around his shelves. Just as he was wondering whether he had made the right decision to talk to his father, Arthur shouted, "Here it is!" Bill saw him pull a small, rectangular object off one of the shelves. He blew the dust off of it and tucked it under his arm.

"Bill," his father began, "I'm about to share something very important with you." He thrust the dusty object into Bill's arms. "I won your mother's heart thanks to this book."

Bill looked down at the old book in his hands. He read the grimy cover out loud. "Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches." He looked up at his father. "Does it work?" asked Bill doubtfully.

"Does it work?" repeated Arthur, incredulous. "Of course it works." He pushed his glasses up. "Back at Hogwarts your mother was extremely popular."

Bill's eyebrows shot up. "Really?" he asked.

Arthur chuckled. "I know you may find it hard to believe, her being your mum and all."

Bill's grinned apologetically. "It is hard to think of Mum that way," he conceded.

"Well, believe me; Molly Prewett had wizards falling all over themselves to get to her." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Even Lucius Malfoy noticed her."

"Wait," said Bill, brow furrowed, "You were in school with Lucius Malfoy?"

"Yes," answered Arthur. "Of course, he was just a first year when your Mum and I were fifth years, but he was a cheeky, little bast- er...bugger even then." Bill stifled a laugh with a cough as his father's face grew dark. "Not that your mother would have anything to do with the likes of him." Bill grimaced in sympathy with his father. "If it wasn't for Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches," said Arthur, tapping the book in Bill's hands, "I might never have plucked up the courage to talk to your mum."

Bill looked down at the little book in his hands. "Wow," he murmured.

Arthur grinned. "I'm just lucky that Uncle Bilius decided to share it with me."

Bill glanced up at his father, startled. "U-uncle Bilius?" he stammered. "But I thought he never married."

"Not from lack of opportunity," said Arthur quickly. "Your Uncle Bilius was quite popular with the witches. Why, he even courted Auntie Muriel after your Uncle Octavius passed away."

Bill's eyes widened. "No way! Auntie Muriel?"

"Yes," said Arthur, nodding vigorously. "We almost had another Prewett/Weasley match for a while there."

Bill let out a long, low whistle. "What happened with them? Why didn't it work out?"

Arthur's grin faded slightly. "Well, you know what Uncle Bilius was like. He was a little, er…"

"Mad?" said Bill helpfully.

"Unique," Arthur corrected him. "Of course you know Auntie Muriel's a bit …er...set in her ways. They just couldn't work things out between them. But that just goes to show you, that book even worked on Auntie Muriel."

Bill stood up, clutching the book to him reverently. "Thanks, Dad. I'm going to start reading it right now." He stood up to go.

Arthur patted him on the back. Just as Bill reached the door of the shed, he called out, "Bill?"

"Yes?"

"I know Charlie's a bit young yet," said Arthur, "but why don't you share that with him when his time comes."

Bill nodded enthusiastically. "I will, Dad." He left the shed, eager to start reading.